The Great Jeddie Fanfic
by AdrianIWish
Summary: My name is Jill Mastrano. Well, Mastrano Dragomir. That last word I keep forgetting, Dragomir, changed my life forever. A bit less than a year ago I found out I'm a princess. Since then my life's been a mess. Royalty, dying, Palm Springs, Adrian's thoughts, not to mention my horrible love life. Now things seem to be calming down. But then there's Eddie. The thing is... I love him.
1. Welcome Back

**Hi everyone! My second story! Still VA/BL, of course. Whoever's reading this probably saw my last one. If you haven't, please do. And review. It's titled Between Bloodlines and The Golden Lily. Sorry, I just couldn't go without this ;)**

**Okay, so I'm sorry if this story has too much Adrian for anyone's taste, but the thing is I can't live without him. And I believe it should be that way, since it's Jill's POV. Yeah, it's a Jeddie story, if the summary hasn't told you that already. So, will they end up together or not? Are they meant to be? Follow the story and see! Muahahaha!**

**This all belongs to Richelle Mead's incredible Vampire Academy and Bloodlines Series. Please, read first, because the story contains a lot of major spoilers. Oh, and could we just pretend the last chapter of Silver Shadows never happened? I know it's hard, but I had this story planned before I read the book or before it even came out. I did, although, include *The Big Thing* from chapter 20.**

**I beg you for reviews! With both stories! I need them, even if completely negative, to be a better writer, to have a strenght and inspiration to keep writing! I need to know if at least someone is reading this! You can post them on Twitter, tag me asv larchi77.**

**I'm sorry for all mistakes and missspelled words, English isn't my first language and I'm still learning. I'll go trough this eventually and try to fix as much as possible, but until then, please accept me being a human being and making mistakes ;)**

**Okay, this AU is probably too long for anyone's taste, sorry about that. I have nothing else to say than – enjoy!**

I should probably be happy about it. It meant I was safe. I could go back to the Court. I was going back to the Court. But for unknown reasons, everytime I thought about leaving Amberwood, something stung in my chest. In the beginning it was horrible. But now, when I thought about it... It was better than the Court. I had friends here. I know, I was being silly. I also had friends at Court. Sydney and Adrian were already there. Was it weird it was probably the only part I was really looking forward to? I knew Adrian was happy he'd see me again too. Sometimes it was really great to have the bond. To know at least someone in the world cared about you when in doubts.  
I was also going to see Lissa and Christian and Rose and Dimitri... But I didn't know what to think about them anymore. I didn't know if they liked me for real or only because they needed me for the throne. Lissa was my sister! But she never acted like it. Maybe... Maybe that was going to change. I wanted it to. And I liked Christian. He taught me how to fight with magic. I just didn't know what side he was on. Come on, Jill, there are no sides! You're being ridiculous!  
Rose and Dimitri... I loved them. Okay, I used to. But then I got bound to Adrian when he had the worst relationship with them possible and it kind of all dissappeared. He got over it, but I got a different impression. I couldn't help it.  
Okay, Angeline was comming too. That was a good thing. But Trey was also comming. I liked him, but it practically meant the same as if Angeline wasn't there. No, worse. It meant they were gonna make out the whole time. And that was... Good for them, but nothing good for me.  
Okay, Neill. He was never my best friend or something. I mean, I guess he was okay, he was cute and all, but he was also probably gonna be busy with his love life. More specifically: Olive Sinclair. I was the only one single here.  
Well, of course there was Eddie. He was single too. He was another reason to look forward to my time at Court. Right? He was also the reason I used to pretend I have a crush on Neill. But things were kind of awkward between us since we knew we like eachother.  
And that kiss. It was... It was... It was... It was all I could ever think about. It was the reason I got up in the morning. It made me want more. I've kissed guys before, but it was different with Eddie. Yeah. Eddie. Since The Kiss happened, he was... He wasn't ignoring me, but... Back when everything was normal between us (even though Adrian claims he had a crush on me before), we had that joke about him being proffesional. I hadn't realised what that really means untill now. And I didn't like it. I just wanted another kiss. Or two or three.  
So maybe Eddie wasn't exactly another thing to look forward to. But I had to make it such a thing! I really, really liked him. To the point where I could say I loved him. I knew him. We were friends. But this right now was just weird. Sometimes I was just thinking... What are we doing? We liked eachother so much, but still, nothing was happening. Like if everything would froze.  
Back to the point. Why would I even think about how being back at Court would be? Yup. Lissa changed the law. Yaaay! I think. Sure, I was so happy about not being in life danger or the only thing that held the government together. But I had to leave Amberwood! I still liked St. Vladimir's better. But I spent one of the nicest years of my life here, in Palm Springs. I-  
"Jill, look what I found!" Angeline yelled. She wasn' that far away, just a few stepps from me, searching trough her closet. She just... Mostly yelled.  
"What is that?"  
It was my old diary. Just as I remembered it. It was purple with sparkly pink butterflies. Yeah, pretty girly. I used to be like that.  
"You didn't read that, did you?" I exclaimed.  
"Um, no. I'm not that pathetic."  
I laughed nervously. Maybe she wasn't. But she didn't want to know what I'd do if the situation was opposite. I definetly wouldn't hold back.  
I pulled the diary away from her and opened it on a random page. I remembered how I always refused to write dates. Even without them I knew this had to be at least a year away.  
Dear diary. Today I had the worst day ever. In the morning I had magic practise and something went wrong. I ended up completely wet. And then I met Adrian in the hall! He looked like he wanted to burst out laughing and I made a complete fool out of myself!  
Oh, my god. This was back when I had a crush on Adrian. Thank goodness Angeline didn't read anything. I was so stupid back then.  
And yet, I kept reading.  
Of course everyone found it silly that I was wet in class. But I didn't have time to go change until after school. Then, the moment I got out of my dorm, I saw Brett making out with Christine Lazar! I tried to tell Aimee about it, but she didn't believe me. I only tried to help her, but she showed her gratefullness by calling me a jelous bitch.  
Brett Ozera was my best friend Aimee's boyfriend back then. I actually started to remember that day and it was pretty shitty.  
And then I saw Adrian kissing Rose in the cafeteria. I mean, I already knew about it, but it stung. Anyway, I just wanna curl up somewhere and go to sleep. Or maybe... Wait. Someone's knocking on the door. I wonder who might that be. After a day like this, it can't be good. Should I even open? Nah, I'm too curious. I hope I don't regret it...  
Oh, so Adrian already dated Rose. I was getting more and more infromation about the timing.  
Did I even want to read on? Of course, I've alread been trough it once.  
Omg, this was the best day of my life! It was Adrian! I'm freaking out! He came in and made me blush like a lobster, but he totally ignored it. Then he said I looked a bit uptight today and started to rubb my shoulders! (sometimes I just don't know what's going on in his head... But I love it!) Then he listened to me go on and on about my best friend's love life for half an hour, looking interested the whole time! And then he said love stinks! I mean, that's tehnically no big deal. But I said yes and he meant Rose and I meant him and we had such connection and I know nothing can happen, but...  
Okay! I stopped at that. Talking about mood swings. I was totally unbalanced back then.  
And really, how could I fall for Adrian so bad? Sure, it's possible I only got over it because of the bond. And I knew lots of girls fell for him. They had reasons. He was awesome. Maybe I just knew him too well. Now I knew exactly what was going on in his head. No, I was pretty sure Sydney knew him just as well. I should just see it wasn't meant to be back then.  
As I browsed trough the diary, I found exactly how could I fall for Adrian so bad. Wow.  
10 reasons I love Adrian Ivashkov  
1\. He's so hot...  
Okay, I had to admitt that was pretty much true. But I'd never fall for a guy just because of his looks.  
2\. He says absolutley the cutest things ever, like... omg.  
That was true too. I still remembered I almost melted at all the things he said to Sydney or how he planned their wedding. How did he manage to do it so fast? I still felt sorry I couldn't attend that, but I was there in my mind the whole time, recieving many weird looks from my friends because of my awws and wows.  
3\. He calls me Jailbait. It's so... I have no words.  
Yeah, it was pretty sweet, but clearly no reason to be head over heels in love with him. He had nicknames for everyone.  
4\. He's so funny.  
He did make me laugh many times. But... And then I realised what I was doing. I had no reason to critisize myself so bad. I was just like that with Eddie right now.  
5\. He pretends to be confident, but is really insecure. I just know.  
How did I know that before the bond? It was true, and I tried to help him get over it the whole time, but Sydney was the only one who really managed that.  
6\. He's so romantic with Rose. I mean, she has no idea...  
Actually, to think now, I'm pretty sure she did have some ideas. But not the correct ones. I wouldn't call what he did romantic anymore, the better word is... Innaproppriate.  
7\. He actually doesn't treat me like a child.  
Exept for calling me Jailbait. Come on, how could I ne so stupid? EVERYONE treated me like a child. Until I prooved them differently.  
8\. He can turn bad mood to good just like that.  
Okay, maybe that was true too. We were friends before and that's how he took it too. I knew that since the first day of being bound to him. I just misunderstood it before.  
9\. You can't not love him.  
That actually turned to be true for most people.  
10\. He rocks everything. He makes the scent of cigarettes and alcohol hot.  
And at that point I started to laugh so hard, I recieved a suprised glance from Angeline. And she doesn't get suprised quickly. Except in lack of physical... In lack of fighting.  
The scent of cigarettes and alcohol will NEVER be hot. How could I like that? Nobody can rock it. I was so happy Adrian stopped all of that shit.  
"Weren't you suppose to be packing instead of... Nevermind, I'm getting pathetic. Show me watcha laughing at!" she yelled and jumped towards me, pulling the diary away from me. "Never!" I laughed, refusing to show her how embarrassed I'd be if she read anything. She was my friend now, but we weren't that close. We actually started a pretty good fight for the diary. But Angeline was the Dhampir.  
In the end she was sitting on top on me on her bed, and I couldn't do anything to stop her from reading. Oh, well. There was nothing from now in it. I didn't really care if she knew about Adrian.  
"Okay, this is the last page..." she said and took a dramatic breath.  
"Dear diary. Looks like I'm a princess. I was so stupid before. I'm done with this silly stuff." Angeline looked at me dissappointed. "Really? I thought this was gonna be some good, juicy stuff. This? This is boring. Creepy even." I laughed and rolled her from my back. It kind of suprised me how relieved I was.  
Not for long, it seemed. Eddie entered the room and raced my heartbeat to the point where I almost fainted. Our eyes met and we both immediately looked down. Angeline snorted. Everyone knew what was going on.  
"Umm... Hi, guys. I... Just wanted to ask if you're ready to go? Cause Mrs. Terwilliger asked me if she could give us the ride a bit sooner," Eddie said.  
Mrs. Terwilliger was giving us the ride to the airport. Since only Sydney and Adrian had cars and they were both away.  
"Why? Does she have a date with Wolfe?" I asked. Angeline laughed and even Eddie, who lately attempted to be unnaturaly serious around me, had to smile. His smile lighted up the room.  
Anyway, we all found our history teacher's love life - or better said romance with a one-eyed self defense instructor - extremly funny. Of course they had me to thank they even knew about it. I only knew because of Adrian.  
Eddie was about to leave, but he came back from the front door and stopped in front of me. "Jill?" he asked. His eyes were in that warm brown color that lighted me up everytime. It was a bit like chocolate and...  
"Yeah?" I breathed, not even realising what am I saying. "I, eh, told Micah we were leaving. He said he wants to say goodbye to you in... Person. I don't see a problem, but it's your decision to make."  
Micah Vallence was my human ex boyfriend and Eddie's (I guess now ex) roomate. As I found out from Adrian, he looked exactly like Eddie's dead best friend Mason. I never knew him. Note to self: find out more about that.  
I was kind of suprised Eddie even asked. "Sure, Micah's my friend now. You know that. I'm gonna say goodbye to all my friends." Eddie shrugged. He looked a little embarrassed, like he was on the verge of blushing. It was adorable. And I've also seen him blush before. That was just...  
Man, him embarrassed made me embarrassed. This had to stop. There were those times when I just wanted to go towards him and tell him how the thing was, even though he knew already. I almost did it once or twice. But I always cowed in the last second.  
So, yeah, I went to say goodbye to Micah. I even gave him a hug. Not because Eddie was there. Not at all. But I wasn't there often. Eddie's room... Eddie's bed... Eddie's bathroom... Eddie's smile...  
It was pretty hard, actually. Saying goodbye. I loved Micah. He was my friend. We even went to his senior prom together for good old times' sake (Eddie refused to go. I didn't talk to him for a week.). I knew I was going to miss him just as mush as everyone else I already said goodbye to, if not more.  
And maybe it sounds a bit cocky, but I know it was hard for him too. It was cute how he gave me a brave smile, but his eyes were sad. Maybe a bit dissappointed. He didn't know what our leaving was really about. We were only at Amberwood for a year. He probably thought we were just moving again. And maybe he kind of hoped I had at least a little saying in it and that I'd change my mind.  
He had no idea.  
I packed everything before I went to see Micah, so it wasn't a problem that I stopped a few times to say goodbye to other friends. Everyone knew we were leaving.  
When I was almost already at my dorm door, carying a box of Angeline's stuff she left in Eddie's (and Trey's) room back when they were dating, Kristin Sawyer amd Julia Cavendish stopped me. I remembered them. They were Sydney's friends and really nice. When we roomed together, they used to hang out all the time. Of course, that was before things got complicated. I mean, really complicated.  
"Hey, Jill," Kristin said. I nodded in response, thinking they'd let me go because of the box. I was wrong.  
"So, wherever you're going, Sydney's already there for a few months, right?" Julia asked. "Yeah, she is. You know, she was accepted to colidge. The one she wanted to attend most. She already has enough grades, so she decided to leave overnight."  
That was the story we told everyone. It was very likely, actually. And I knew Sydney would wish it was true. She'd definetly prefer it over some Alchemist prison.  
"Can you say hi to her from us? And tell her we miss her and wish her good luck in colidge?" Kristin asked me. "Sure," I said and mentally added on the list of greets I had to deliver. I even had a few gifts, like from Brayden, the barista she used to date. Not sure what it was, but the box gave me the feeling it was an engagement ring. As if Adrian didn't hate the guy enough already.  
Angeline was almost as suprised as I was at how much stuff she had left in the boys' dorm, claiming she didn't even know she owned the half of it. She even pulled out a blue sweater that was definetly not her size. Her face reflected sorrow and shock."Trey's cheating on me!" she announced. I took antoher look at the sweater. I knew Trey'd never do that. "It's mine," I realised. Angeline sighed in relief, but then she gave me a funny look from the side.  
"I may not be good at math, but I'm not stupid. This would never fit me. It's from Eddie's room, isn't it? Jill, what didn't you tell me?"  
I ignored the question and folded the sweater to as small as possible, but I still had to sit on my suitcase to close it.  
"You know... I'm a bit afraid of flying. I flew before, but it was awful," Angeline said. In moments like this I felt sorry for her. It wasn't her fault, trapped in another culture with no one on her side. It was either this or living a barbaric life with the Keepers. I think she made the right choice.  
"I get that. But you were alone back then, weren't you?" I asked. She nodded with anxiety in her eyes. She was clearly having a flashback. A plane can probably be pretty creepy when you're there on your own for the first time, not knowing anything about how it works or how safe you really are.  
"Well, this time we'll be with you. Everything will be okay," I said with a soothing voice. She gave me a weak smile. But I wasn't as cool as I acted. Angeline might have been afraid of flying, but I was kind of afraid of flying with her. She was stronger than she looked, and I was sitting next to her on the plane. I didn't even dare to think about the metal detector, or what she'd do if they had to search trough her. She once threw a speaker at a guy because he pulled her hand. Not a computer speaker.  
In the end the waiting became a bit annoying. My feelings were mixed when the guys knocked on our door. I touched every corner of the room I'd never see again with my eyes. From the coffee stain on the wall (Angeline's first day before Sydney got a new room) to the closet that was always too small. I just realised how much I loved this room, no matter how tiny and messy it was.  
Then something happened that melted my already warmed up heart already. Eddie walked in and gently touched my hand. "Come on, we have to go. I'll miss this place too. Especially how happy you were here. All your smiles and..." He bit his lip. "Let's go." I nodded with a slight hope that things between us were going to get better.  
The guys already had all their suitcases in Mrs. Terwilliger's car, so they could help carry all of mine and Angeline's. Mostly mine. And I carried too. The car was too small for all of us and our luggage, so she had to drive twice. The guys went first, so we placed ourselves on a bench while waiting, looking as ridiculous as possible with all the suitcases around us.  
It was June in Palm Springs, a killing weather for a Moroi. As if it wasn't hot already, the sun was shining with its full power. I couldn't take it for very long, which was a shame, because I loved the sun. Except for the obvious.  
It was really annoying the way my terrible hair was sticking on my forehead all sweaty and nasty. I hated the long brown bird nest even before summer started and I had to start washing it every day for it to look at least decent.  
"You girls moving somewhere?" a familiar, but unwelcome voice asked. It was Greg Slade, the school's, honestly, #2 athleete and #1 jerk. He probably hoped his comment would insult us and that we were really just going on a holiday. "We actually are moving. News don't reach idiots, do they?" I asked kindly. "It's a good thing you're leaving," he growled and stormed away.  
Angeline gave me a high five. She didn't like the guys either. He was Trey's biggest rival or something (Trey was the #1 athleete... because Eddie was holding back). And also Slade wasn't very likable.  
Another idiotic person showed up. Laurel, 'my biggest rival'. At least that's what she thought. I didn't really care. She had a crush on Micah when he started to like me. Lots of unpleasant events followed, including her announcing to the world that I'm a vampire. Luckilly it turned out she was just bluffing. Then Sydney had a 'chatt' with her. It had to be something that freaked poor Laurel out, because ever since she's been acting like my best friend.  
But she still meant trouble. At least for me. I didn't trust her, but as long as she left me alone...  
"Hey, Jill!" she started with a voice so sweet it almost gave me diabetes. "Hi, Laurel," said Angeline just as nice. I just nodded in a greet. The poor girl had no idea what Laurel was like. When they met, she was already acting all nice and Angeline was deeply convinced into innocence of our world. She was clearly deluding herself.  
"So, now that you guys are leaving," Laurel continued, "And your dear sister can't protect you anymore... I can be honest, right? You are the most annoying spoiled little girl I know! And stupid! I mean, you dumped Micah? I don't get you. Anyway, you guys were only together because he was always into charity and stuff. Someone as pale as you would never get a boyfriend. And by the way, don't count on him if you ever come back. I hope you don't, though. But he's mine now!"  
Angeline was about to get up, but I pulled her down. I didn't mean to stay quiet, though. That bitch's gone too far. "Really, Laurel? If he was that into charity, wouldn't he see how desperat you were for him already? It's been months since I broke up with him. If he's really 'yours', why aren't you with him instead of trying to sell me your lies that I'll never buy? Maybe he's just not into fake hair," I said. The combination of her hair die and exstensions was almost a wig. She was perfect for Slade, actually. Her looks were just as fake as all of his sport trophies. That's why his succes fell so much after Nevermore was shutt.  
Laurel flipped her hair back in rage and gave me a cold look. Her fingers clenched into fists. I think she was at the point where she'd hapilly add some of my hair into that wig. She'd pull it out with her own hands first, of course.  
"Yeah? I'm suprised he's into vampire pale complexion, since it's not only last season, it's from 19th century! And neandertale cousin, you're probably going back into some cave where you belong, right? You should really change your shoes by now. Not that I care, but it's not only about how they look - and trust me, they're awful - but you're about to show your toes. And nobody wants to see how much dirt you carry there." Then she turned on her heel (what would I do for her to tripp in that moment) and left before I she could get involved into a real fight. Verbal or physical, both was possible.  
"That goddamn bitch! I thought she was nice this whole time, but now this?" Angeline exclaimed. She wasn't wrong. I already got used to it, but Laurel had no right to say all those things about her. Angeline had improoved so much lately and gone trough a culture change and everything else that bitch had no idea about...  
"So, um, how did you know I'm not into fake hair?" Micah asked. I had no idea where he came from, but it pretty much looked like he heard the whole conversation.  
"I assumed you'd be all over here if you were," I replied. He smiled and I saw Laurel gasp a few feet away. She wasn't very far from us yet and Micah didn't really try to be discret with our conversation.  
"Actually I have to agree with what Angeline saud earlier. It was really mean what she said about you two."  
Okay, now he was already trying for her to hear him.  
Maybe it was mean from me to think so, but when I saw the hurt expression on her face, I couldn't make myself feel sympathy for a hurt girl soul. She made my soul hurt for too many times. And Micah was just telling the truth. I'm sure he had reasons for her to hear him.  
"Sorry if this came out mean, but she won't leave me alone!" Micah explained quietly.  
I knew he had a reason.  
We said goodbye again, but Micah left soon. I started to think to fast, which used to lead into talking too fast, but right now I was too nervous. My hearbeat was rising as one thought hitted my mind again and again: this is going real.  
Then Mrs. Terwilliger's came into my sight, so I chased the overwhelming thoughts away and focused myself more into the physical work of folding luggage into the car.  
"So, you're going to the Royal Court, right?" Mrs. Terwilliger asked and pressed the gas in her tiny little beatle. "Yeah," I said. "I can't wait! I mean, our people have prejudgments about the Court and royals and the queen, but as much as I know, this one isn't so bad for them and I don't really belong there anymore and from what I'd heard, the Court is a great place and now I'll be living there! I can't believe it!" Angeline shrieked.  
Maybe she spent too much time with me. I talk like that sometimes. I kind of suspect it's annoying, even though some people say it's cute.  
However, Angeline was turning into a modern, teenagy and girly girl. Thanks to me, I dare say.  
Mrs. Terwilliger smiled. It wasn't one of those polite smiles when people really think what the... She wasn't that kind of a person. Most of the students thought she was weird, but I knew better than that. She was more than weird. She was a witch. Well. A Moroi princess probably doesn't have the right to say that.  
"Could you please give this to Sydney? And tell her and Adrian I say hi and wish them good luck," he said and passed me a book so old it looked like it was about to fall apart. I swear, sometimes it was like Sydney was the only person in our 'family'.  
"Sure," I sighed.  
We arrived after ten or fifteen minutes. The guys were sitting on a bench with our plane tickets, looking slightly bored. That would never happen to me. I'd just talk.  
Neill jumped up towards the car and opened first the car door on my side, making Eddie and Trey stare blankly at him in suprise. He was always a gentleman. I gave Eddie a naughty glance and sweetly looked at Neill, thanking him politely. Then I realised I was acting just like before The Kiss (that's how I'm gonna call it) happened.  
Neill also hurried up towards Angeline's side of the car to open her door too, but she was already out, loking at him like she'd slamm the door on his hand if he tried. "I can get out of a car alone, thanks," she said and smiled trough her teeth.  
"Someone's a bit grumpy," I muttered.  
While waiting for boarding a bit later, I recieved a text from Adrian.  
_You sitting with Castile on the plane? *love is in the air*_  
I laughed, kind of happy to hear from him, even though it used to annoy me when he teased like that. I only knew he was extremly happy recently, but every time the bond was connecting well, was when he was making out with Sydney, making it impossible to contact him. We had a few phone calls, just to catch up, but we didn't talk for real like we used to. The distance was making it hard. I missed him and I knew he missed me too, even though everything else in his life turned right recently. Now I was comming too, and his calmness gave me more time to focus on my own problems. Especially the love related ones.  
_Haha, very funny. Actually, I'm sitting with Angeline._  
We discussed our seats the moment we got the tickets.  
Adrian's response came remarakbly fast: _And...? There's a seat on each side. Are you the lucky one by the window?_  
That was actually Trey.  
_No, I'm by the transition_, I answered.  
So? Who's on the other side?  
I didn't answer immediately. I knew he'd guess.  
_It's Castile, isn't it?_  
And he did.  
_Fine, it's him. But that doesn't count. Can we change the subject? I have other things to worry about, like Angeline's finger strenght when the plane rises._  
I was pretty sure she was going to grabb my hand.  
_The gap between your souls is as wide as the transition between your seats was the answer_. I snorted. Usually that kind of nonsense came from spirit and made me worried, but this time I knew he was just messing with me.  
Another text came in a few seconds: _You're not together now, are you?_  
_No, I'd let you know_, I replied.  
_R.I.P. your finger bones_, he wrote then. I had to laugh at that, even though it was probably true. Unfortunately._ You can still save them when we get there._  
_Saving the day, as always_, he answered. I smiled.  
Then they called us to board.  
_The boarding's starting_, I wrote.  
_See you in six hours_, he replied. I smiled and switched my phone to airplane mode.  
We soon found our seats and tightened our seatblets. Angeline was exhaling loudly by some pregnancy/yoga methode to relax. I was smiling to myself. Then I realised I was automatically glancing at Eddie to see if he smiled too. He didn't, but he was watching me. We both looked away immediately and I saw Angeline's new methode of relaxing was making out with Trey.  
Huh. The kissing I've been trough wasn't very relaxing. It was actually nothing or very, very exciting. Or, with Eddie, the highlight of my life.  
I wished I'd be trough enough kissing with him for it to make me relax or to heat me up. Well, the last one already happened. Sometimes I regretted there were people around when it happened, because from what I felt and the exact same desire reflecting in his eyes, a lot more would happen if we were alone. And maybe I wanted more to happen. Not exactly yet, but I at least wanted a chance to get there some day.  
The flight attendant told us her usual speech about her great crew and putting our phones to airplane mode. Then the plane moved. Angeline was already holding Trey's hand, but now her fingers clenched tightly around my hand too. "Don't worry, it'll be over efore you know it," I said. She just moaned.  
I looked trough the window and watched Palm Springs over Trey's hair becoming smaller and smaller, until it completely dissapeared out of my sight. I was almost sure I'd never go there again. At least for a pretty long time.  
A tear slidd down my cheek, but I harshly wiped it away. It wasn't suppose to sting so much. Then more tears bursted out and I almost sobbed out loud.  
The flight attendant announced that we can untight our seatbelts. I did it immediately and ran into the toilet. Fortunately it wasn't taken. I was in there for a while. It didn't smell very nice, but I had no other choice until the tears stopped.  
I couldn't let them see me cry. I didn't want them to think I was acting silly, even though I probably was. I didn't want Eddie to think I was just a spoiled little princess, crying because she couldn't get everything she wanted. I was pretty sure I wasn't. He probably wouldn't think so either, but I didn't want him to think my feelings for him were just as silly and meaningless as I was acting right now. They weren't.  
I heard loud knocking on the door after a few minutes, but I didn't respond. I was trying to clean my face with thin paper towels and most likely not very clean water. Thank goodness I wasn't wearing makeup.  
"Excuse me? Do you mind? You're not the only person on the plane, you know!" a female voice yelled. I looked myself in the mirror for the last time - the stains tears left were still visible on my cheeks and my eyes were red and swollen from crying - and unlocked the door. An unpleased woman in her thirties with a daughter only two or three years old was standing outside. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. The little girl looked at me with big brown eyes that almost brought me back to tears. The woman's expression softened when she saw my face.  
I hurried back to my seat, recieving a suprised and worried glance from Eddie. "You okay?" he asked. I exhaled and nodded.  
Angeline was asleep with her head on his shoulder. His arm was around her waist and I couldn't help it but glamce at Eddie with a longing look. He was looking down at his feet, obviously lost in thoughts. Then his look hit mine. We both turned around right away again.  
A few minutes later I saw him talking to Neill. They both had ridiculously serious faces on and something told me they were talking about me. What else could they possibly be talking about? Except for the fact that they were both guardians and all that includes, they didn't have a single thing in common. And they were both my guardians. Well, they could be talking about something like food, but they'd probably be in a better mood.  
Eddie nodded and said something, running his fingers trough his sandy blond hair that was always lying on his forehead in a perfect messy way that made it obvious he didn't spend a second dealing with it. His eyebrows were furrowed above his amazing brown eyes that were expressing a worried look. Even with such a twisted expression he was so...  
And then I realised I'm watching him again. I looked away.  
Angeline was still asleep. I spent the night lying in bed awake and a few rough days were probably in front of me, so it would be a good idea to have a nap. But I was restless. Excitment in me was growing. Palm Springs was behind me and I was starting to feel some of the greatness that going to Court always brought.  
I still remembered the first time. My life became a mess. I found out I'm a princess, then Victor Dashkov kidnapped me, then I saw him die and then Adrian showed up. It was when I had a crush on him. Like I wasn't stressed enough already. I was as nervous as hell. But I was going to the Court! I can't say I didn't get Angeline.  
Maybe I couldn't sleep, but I did close my eyes and escaped the stupid thoughts. It was one of the rare moments I didn't feel much.  
As a result, I got sucked into Adrian's head. It was one of those times when it felt like I was him. I was looking trough his eyes and feeling his emotions. Sometimes the line between us blurred and I didn't even feel myself for a while.  
Not this time, though. The feeling that you're kissing your 'sister' kind of numbs the effect. Like in the last few times.  
"We should get dressed, you know. They're landing in an hour," Sydney breathed while Adrian was kissing her neck. "Nah, we have enough time. Especially if we get dressed as fast as we get undressed."  
They weren't completely undressed yet, but it was pretty obvious they were about to be. And that wasn't exactly what I wanted to see. Again.  
I tried to leave Adrian's head and after a minute or two managed to get into some kind of blessed state, in which I didn't see or clearly feel what was going on in their room, but his intense emotions were still getting to me. It felt so nice, peacefull and fierce at the same time. Except for witnessing it all, it was great how happy he was. I was pretty sure this was how drugs felt.  
And then I smelled something that woke me up from the great feeling. Food. I haven't ate a thing for the whole day, and suddenly I was hungry. There was a knot in my stomach from all the anxiety, but by now I was craving for food. It had to be about 5 or 6 pm. The problem was I didn't have much money near me. The flight attendant already went down the hall, but I knew she was comming back soon.  
"Eddie? You got any money? I'm broke right now!" I said loudly, leaning forward to his seat with my hair all over my face. I quickly stuck it behind my ear.  
"Sure," he replied, seizing for his wallat. He knew I'd return his money. I always did. He was just the thoughtfull one, always having everything he needed around. Or everything I needed.  
He passed me ten bucks and I thanked him with a smile. I ordered a sandwich and quickly finished it. Then the pilot told us to tighten our seatblets again.  
"Oh, no! We're crashing! We're all gonna die!" Angeline screamed and reached under the seat for the life jacket. "I can't find it!"  
I held her hand and looked into her blue eyes. "We're not crashing. We're just about to land," I said with a soothing voice.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, I'm sure. Look, everyone else is calm. They wouldn't be if we were crashing."  
They weren't really that calm. They were starting to stare at us.  
"But... Why would they tell us to tighten our seatbelts otherwise?"  
I desperately looked at Trey for help. Maybe he wasn't Neill, but he was man enough to take it from there. Anyhow, by the time the plane touched the ground in Pittsburgh, she was calm. As calm as she gets.  
We left down the stairs and waited for our luggage. But the traveling wasn't over yet. We had to change to another plane. It was a private one and Lissa sent it just for us. The public ones didn't have access to the Court's airport. We only had a twenty minute filght in front of us.  
And really, it wasn't long until the familliar victorian church-like buildings came into my sight. They were glorious, built in a historical, but suprisingly modern way. It was like a small city, full of official buildings for councill bussiness, but also many shops and restaurants and other luxury options for visiting tourists and royals with nothing better to do. That's what I'm going to be from now, I realised.  
It was also the queen's residence and the place where all the laws were accepted. Where our faith and future were discussed every day. Wrapped in the protection of the guardians, looking as safe as possible, but full of secrets and intrigues. Hidden in the shelter of the green Pennsylvania woods, looking so calm, but really restless. There was aways something going on. I've experienced it myself before. It was magnificent. It wasn its own little world. Moroi Royal Court.  
I could already see the airport. Our seats were shaking when we were landing nad Angeline held mine and Trey's hand again.  
I looked at Eddie and smiled. He smiled too. We were the only ones here who knew what we were diving into. We've been trough it before. Except that the faith of Lissa's throne wasn't on me anymore. Not like the last time I came.  
The knot in my stomach was bigger than ever when we walked trough the airport lobby. Then excitment and happiness hit me stronger than ever before. Joy was floating trough my every vene. It wasn't mine, but it spread quickly. And then a smile played on my lips too. I couldn't be sad in that moment. I ran so fast it felt like flying, straight into Adrian's embrace. He hugged me tightly and even lifted me and spunn me around. We were both so happy in that moment. I missed him even more than I thought and tears almost won me over again. Words weren't neccessary.  
It only took a minute or two for me to notice the others. I was so happy all the doubts and second thoughts from before became history. I hugged Sydney next, probably because she was standing right next to Adrian. Her eyes were shining and her smile was almost bigger than her face.  
"I'm so glad you're safe," I said. "I'm so glad you're back," she replied and paused for a second. "And... I'm sorry for everything you've been trough because of me. Thank you, I'd still be there if it wasn't for you. All of you." My heart was starting to melt. "You should see everything I have for you from Amberwood," I said, but my voice was kind of shaking.  
Rose was the next one and when I saw her there with a smile as honest as Sydney's or Adrian's, I couldn't help but feel the admiration for her I used to when we first met. I wanted to be just like her. She was like a super star. Now she was also my friend.  
Then I hugged Dimitri. It wasn't even uncomfterable. I got to know him better while he was in Palm Springs, even though Adrian's attitude for him prevented it a little bit.  
Christian came next with the ordinary sarcastic grinn on his face. He used to teach me fighting with magic and I almost already forgot how awesome he was. "I missed you, you idiot," I said and hugged him. His grinn widened.  
Lissa was standing there last. Nothing was holding me back from her anymore, no hard feelings. It was impressive that she, even as the Queen, she had no other guardians with her beside Rose and Dimitri.  
I hugged her. She looked starteled, maybe even touched, but she returned my hug. And ut was just slightly awkward.  
Everyone helped to carry our bags and Adrian pulled me forward. "So, how was..." He stopped and studied my face closely. "You cried. What happened?" he asked. Damn it! The stains of tears were still there for sure.  
"Oh. That. You know, it gets to you a little when a part of your life ends right on front of you."  
Adrian smiled and the feelings comming from him told me he really did know.  
"Well then," he said. "Welcome back to the Court."

**I really, really hope you liked this. Please let me know if you did or if you didn't. I do not know whne will I update, but I hope soon. Bye for now!**


	2. The Rythem Of Court

**Hi! After too long, almost a month, I am back with a new chapter. And it's a long one, which is porbably the reason it took me so long. Thank you for both reviews and all the follows, please, continue to do so! I have to say that I own nothing, I'm sorry for mistakes and THERE ARE SPOILERS. And please tell me what you think about what i idi with the Alchemists. Is it believable? Please, read – and review!**

After all the baggs were taken to my room (the same one as before Palm Springs, which I loved, since it had a view) in guest housing, where I'd be staying for a while - I figured for a few weeks or at least until I find out what was gonna happen to me now - we went out for dinner to celebrate us all being safe and sound. And to catch up.  
We ordered enough food for the whole day for all of us. But it wasn't just the quantity of it that kept us eating for four hours. We had a lot to talk about.  
The only thing that just slightly annoyed me was everyone constantly mentioning me and Eddie as if we were already together. Actually, the only part I minded was that it wasn't true. Yet.  
"You two? Really? That is so sweet! How didn't I think about it? It's obvious! I'm getting blind. First Sydney and Adrian, now you..." Rose said and shook her head. Then she hugged both of us around our shoulders and pulled us closer to eachother.  
"Rose!" I exclaimed. I felt all of my blood rushing into my head and I was pretty sure my face was lobster red. It used to happen a lot. Nothing's changed.  
Rose smiled and let us go. I looked at Eddie. His eyebrows were raised and there was a suprised smile on his face. But he didn't look disgusted or terrified (I've been told that he likes me too, it was probably true, but it was nice to have a proof every once in a while). Just a bit shocked. He shouldn't be. We all knew Rose was a direct person.  
While we were already having dessert, I realised there was a person who did almost everything for me to come back, no matter what it meant for the world, no matter how hard it was. And no matter how hard it made it for me to leave, no matter the doubts I used to have about our relationship, I had to thank her. It wasn't a real problem. I really was gratefull.  
"Lissa?" I asked, trying to get her attention. She looked at me with interest and smiled. "What's up?"  
"Um... Thank you. For everything you've done for me. For changing the law. I know it took a lot of work and that it wasn't easy. I mean, I'm sure you wanted a stable throne, not one that relies on my life, but you're still the one who made it possible for me to be here again. So. Thanks. I'm really gratefull," I said. I started to bable about stuff without breathing in for an annoyingly long time again. One more thing that hasn't changed. I felt ridiculous.  
Lissa smiled a bit suprised. Then she held my hand. "Anytime," she said.  
After dinner I should probably unpack my stuff. But I was a bit too tired to move. And the day on vampire schedule I lived by now (I guess) has just began. The dinner was actually breakfast for my friends.  
I went to Adrian and Sydney's room. His mom wasn't staying with them anymore. She already found herself a small apartment for a new life to live. I was really happy she made that decision, because her husband/Adrian's dad was... The biggest jerk ever.  
Of course I didn't know both of them that well personally. I knew what I knew from Adrian.  
I didn't seem to be the only one who hasn't unpacked yet. There were bags and suitcases everywhere. But I wasn't here for a few weeks yet. Of course I didn't mind.  
"Oh, I'm sorry about the mess. Those idiots decided to return my stuff from Palm Springs just yesterday," Sydney said.  
By 'those idiots' she meant the Alchemists. A few of them came a day after she left. Zoe packed all her clothes and other belongings before. I managed to save her box with magic props so that the Alchemist wouldn't find out about her being a witch. I guess it had to happen, athough.  
I really had to try to get the box. Angeline and Eddie helped me, but it was my idea. We asked her for help with our math homework. Angeline distacted her and took her to our room while I pretended to go to the bathroom, but really searched for the box under Sydney's bed. Then I threw it to Eddie trough the window. A couple of stuff broke, but it was better than Zoe finding it.  
After Sydney ran away from re-education, we didn't hear another word from Zoe. She dissappeared over night. Like Sydney was probably suppose to, but didn't because we all knew what was about to happen. And because Eddie was there.  
And the final conclusion of the Sage Drama Saga was that Stanton woman I never liked comming to the Court with a white flagg. Litterally. She obviously thoughts we're still in medeival.  
Anyhow, she officially and very loudly fired Sydney from the Alchemists, saying she'd never want someone as "infectuos with darkness and poisoning" as one of the Alchemists. Her words exactly. So Sydney became the first known Alchemist to be fired.  
But Adrian and Sydney were still both worried we haven't seen the last of the Sage family yet. They talked about it a lot and they were right. Alchemists don't just break centuries old tradicions overnight. I thought they should enjoy what they had while it lasted. I mean, at least she had her clothes back.  
Which returend me back to the present. Sydney was looking at me with an apologetic look. "Oh, come on! It's me! After everything we've been trough, and you apologize?" I laughed. Eddie smiled next to me. He was there, of course.  
Sydney started to make coffee. I think she'd probably make it even if we weren't there, looking like we're about to fall asleep.  
Although if I looked closely, Eddie seemed wide awake. Almost hiperactive. Even inside, his look was all over the room, like a bunch of Strigoi were about to jump out of a corner. Well, he was always like that. We didn't expect the assassins that night, but this was still a bit too much, if you asked me. I should probably be happy I had such a dedicated guardian.  
Sydney put a mug of coffee in front of us both and also took one for herself. I knew she would.  
I never was and never will be a big fan of coffee, but I gladly drank this one. I needed it to stay awake for at least a little while.  
Sydney's face, on the other hand, was almost blissful. I wouldn't know that myself, but Adrian was looking at her with admiration, almost with awe. Even feeling all of his burning emotions, I couldn't understand what was so magnificent on her drinking coffee.  
Adrian's reaction on Sydney's reaction on coffee reminded me of Brayden, the unfortunate barista. It was well known by now that what Sydney liked about him the most was the cent he possesed from working in a coffee shop. We all needed months to remember his name. Then I thought of the ring box and all the other gifts I had for her.  
"Oh, Sydney, I have tons of stuff to give you. And ten thousand people say hi to both of you. Like Mrs. Terwilliger, Micah, Rowena, Kristin, Julia... and Brayden." Sydney snorted and Adrian's eyes widened. "Brayden? He still exists? Honestly, I thought it was Hayden untill you mentioned him," he said.  
But he knew his name very well. Actually, Adrian was worried because of him. He considered him as conpetition with Sydney. Especially after he heard he was writing poems about her.  
"Yeah, Brayden. He even sent her a gift. I have it. I'll go get it..." I yawned, "Tommorrow."  
Then I just listened them talk for a while, leaning my head on Adrian's shoulder. I had that cosy, warm feeling, the one that make me feel at home. The way I only felt in Detroit in my mom's house when I was a little child.  
Now I felt just as great. My brain was starting to turn off and soon the voices around me were starting to fade as I lost myself in dreams.  
Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was hours until I felt strong arms wrapp around me and swing me on their chest. The arms carried me trough the halls, but my eyelids were too heavy and my mind too blurry to find out what was going on around me. I only realised the arms felt exactly like Eddie's did whenever I dreamed about him. Maybe I was dreaming in that moment.  
When I woke up the next morning, the night's events were just a fading memory, but I still had a feeling Eddie had something to do with me waking up in my room two floors away from Adrian's, on my bed, wrapped into a warm blankett. I was still in my clothes, though.  
What I always loved about this room was the magnificent view out the window, which was, how convenient, right next to my bed. It was what distracted me from my thoughts. It was early human morning, Moroi evening. I slept trough the whole day. I had no idea how to ever get used to this schedule. It might be better to sleep trough the whole night too.  
There was a gorgeous bright green meadow right under my window. You could see a few edges of a parking lot on the left, but there was a glittery turquoise river on the right with a small waterfall just far enough to stay in my sight.  
The sun was just rising, leaving a golden reflection on the water and there was a light morning mist above it. The woods on the other bank left a misterious taste to the whole picture. It was magnificent, and not only because I loved water.  
I teared my look away from the window, reminding myself I'd be able to see such a view every day from now on. So I stumbled on my feet, feeling a bit dizzy. I moaned. My eyes were all swollen and probably red from sleeping and surely my hair was all over the place.  
Cold chills ran over me when I kicked the bed cover off of me, so I quickly wrapped it around myself again. Then I ran from the warm orange carpet towards the door. My bare feet were cold, so another carpet in the living room - actually room room, since it was the only room besides my room and bathroom - felt nice.  
Eddie was asleep on the couch. There was no doubt he'd been up all the time I was asleep, checking the surroundings, even though he didn't have to.  
I didn't want to wake him up, so I tip-toed to the nearest suitcase that I knew contained clothes. I needed fresh ones, since the ones I was wearing were all wrinkled up. I pulled out the tank top and shorts that were on the top.  
I also needed pyjamas and underwear. But that was in another suitcase. So I ran on the other side of the room and took what I needed quickly.  
I hurried over to the bathroom. I was already holding the door knob, but then the right of my two left feet went too right, making me stumble. I caught my balance, but accidentally slightly slammed the door.  
I heard a noise that sounded like two feet landing on the floor. I turned around. Eddie was looking at me confused, all of his instincts suddenly awake. He jumped over the couch, clearly not recodnising me immediately. I was startled, unable to move until he was standing right in front of me, ready to ripp my head off or whatever. He'd attack me to protect... Me.  
"Eddie, for God's sake, it's me!" I exclaimed. He froze and studied me for what felt like hours. His eyes were all blurry in an adorable way and his hair was messier than usual, sticking everywhere prooving the couch wasn't the best place to sleep. He opened his mouth and closed it again.  
"Wait. What just happened?" he asked. His voice was sleepy and it made him look lost and confused. Hot.  
I shrugged. "I guess you thought I was attacking myself because your feet was working and your brain wasn't yet. You were asleep a minute ago. By the way, how on Earth did you wake up so fast? I was trying not to wake you up, sorry," I explained.  
"Damn it, Jill, I almost killed you! I was suppose to protect you, not... I'm such and idiot!"  
I rolled my eyes.  
"You did not almost kill me. We had self defense classes. You'd realise I'm incapable to defend myself and leave me alone. And you were half asleep! You cannot possibly blame yourself for what just happened. And by the way, what just happened was nothing."  
He held my hands and looked me in the eyes with a desperat look. I shivered. My heart raced up and my knees went week. I melted in his eyes. I'd fall if he wasn't holding me.  
"I fell asleep! I let myself fall asleep! And right now, I lost controll of myself! What kind of guardian am I? And you shouldn't be so gentle with me! Wake me up the next time, it's my job to protect you!" he exclaimed, shaking my wrists in his hands.  
I sighed. "Come on! You gotta sleep! You're a person, not a robot! That's why I need you next to me! If I wanted a fighting security camera, I'd get one!"  
I saw a hint of a smile glitter in his eyes, but then some dark thoughts hit him again and the spark dissappeared. "Jill, you know what being a guardian means! I have no time for a personal life!"  
Okay, now I was mad. "Well, that's why I have three fucking guardians and the whole Royal Army on my side! And as far as I recall, you're my guardian. You do what I tell you. And I never tell you to do anything. Now I'm telling you this: stop blaming yourself for everything. There are some things you just can't affect. You gotta deal with it."  
He was about to say something, but then he looked down and noticed he was still holding my hands. When his gaze returned to mine, his eyes were burning. I was still heated up from the mad splash of words I gave him before and in that moment the tension between us was unbareble.  
I pulled my hands out of his. Then I held his head and stepped on my fingers to kiss him. Our first kiss seemed amazing up to that moment, but now I suddenly experienced everything I only felt trough the bond before.  
Eddie didn't seem suprised this time. His body was supple and ready for mine. He returned the kiss and it was the first time in a while I felt he was completely relaxed. The tension was gone and we were one for a second.  
His hands slidd from my back on my hips and got tangled in my hair by the way. His touches burned on my skin so much, I was sure they were gonna leave fingerprints.  
But whatever passion was heating up the room before, it dissappeared in a second. Eddie dropped me and stepped back. We were both gasping for air.  
"See? I lost controll again! I shouldn't be doing this!" he shouted. I groaned. "Come on, it's love! It's not forbidden!" He opened his mouth to deny it again, but I stopped him: "You know what? Don't say anything at all. Gimme a break."  
I stormed out of the room into the bathroom and slammed the door, feeling horrible. When will he see it?  
I heard a knock on the door right when I was finished with my hair and clothes. It was Neil. "Hey. My turn. You can't work day and night," he told Eddie, who shook his head. "No, I..." he started, but I stopped him: "Go."  
Such a short sentance, but I saw the way it affected him. He looked down, but my cold look didn't move from his gaze. After a few seconds of silence he left quietly.  
"What was that all about?" Neil asked shocked after Eddie closed the door. "I... Nothing," I sighed. If it was Angeline, I'd never get a break from her. But it was Neil. "I... I'm sorry. Your bussiness," he stuttered.  
A small smile played on my lips. A few minutes ago I told Eddie to do what I say. Neill was the only one of my guardians taking me as actual authority. But I can't say I exactly loved it. He called me princess for two months before I managed to teach him people are on first name bases with their guardians.  
"Hey, I don't really know what to do with myself today. It's, what, Moroi 6 pm? I can't sleep, I'm too rested, but if I stay up all night/day, I'll never get used to it," I said.  
Neil smiled. "I know what you mean. I reccomend getting something to eat and then going to bed. You're probably not gonna fall asleep immediately - or not at all - but you're gonna be at least a bit rested in the morning. And it'll be easy to go to bed in the evening."  
I nodded. "You're right." Were we really talking about sleep?  
"Hey, could you help me carry some stuff to Sydney and Adrian's before we eat?" I asked. "Sure," Neill said. So we picked everything up (most of the stuff was Mrs. Terwilliger's magic stuff anyway) and carried it down the stairs.  
I couldn't help but realise Eddie carried me all the way we were walking, except in the opposite way. Which made it even harder. I... I couldn't stay mad at him. But it still wasn't a very nice feeling, knowing we had a fight.  
It was very likely he was training in that moment. I already learned that about him.  
Training was something guardians had to take care of themselves. There were gyms in all places Moroi and Dhampires lived, but they scheduled fight practise on their own. All that mattered was that they were always in physical condition good enough to protect their charge.  
Well, Eddie did that almost every time he wasn't protecting me. Even in the Amberwood gym. He did it especially when he felt guilty about not being a good enough guardian. I made him feel that way this time, and it made me feel guilty. I didn't want to fight.  
One of the good/bad sides of the bond was that Adrian also felt me whenever I was near him. Or maybe it was because he saw my aura from the distance. I never really understood completely, I just knew he expected me.  
However, he already opened the door by the tike Neill and I got there. And of course I knew he'd be waiting for us. Sometimes it really was like some kind of twisted bothsided telephaty.  
Adrian was looking into my eyes with the look that used to make my knees weak. I knew he was searching trough my soul the way only spirit users could.  
"Here's the stuff I was talking about yesterday," I said like it wasn't obvious. "Oh, thanks," he said. I distracted him for a while.  
Sydney was unpacking her clothes. Her eyes widened when she saw everything we brought. "Who's that from?" she asked. "Um... Most of it is from Mrs. Terwilliger, but the ring box is from, erm, Brayden."  
Adrian gasped and Sydney bursted out laughing. "Are... Are you sure it's a... ring... box?" Adrian asked completely shock. I sensed a dash of panic in him.  
"Gimme that," Sydney snorted. "Even if it's a ring, that place's already taken." She touched the finger with her wedding ring gently. Adrian exhaled relieved. She smiled and so did I. Who would've thought he was so insecure.  
Sydney finally opened the box and we all crouded around her anxious. She laughed even louder than before. There were two coffee-cup-shaped earings in it. Adrian raised his eyebrows with a smile and even Neill laughed a bit.  
It was pretty funny. But was I the only one who thought he had at least a bit of a reason to give her something like that? Like her coffee obsession?  
"Well, it is kinda sweet. I guess that's how he remembered me," Sydney smiled.  
Okay, I was right.  
"So, the rest are pretty much just magical props and a few cards from people at school. And some gifts from the guys who tried to ask you out but you said no. Oh, and Kristin, Julia, Micah, Laurel, I mean, she never canceled it, Trey, no, Trey's here, that was just for an email... And Mrs. Terwilliger and Rowena and Cassie say hi. To both of you," I told them.  
"Really? All of those people?" Adrian asked. Sydney smiled and held his hand. They started to make out right in front of us. I snorted and dragged Neill away. The 12+ scenes were already breaking into my mind and I was tripping a bit on the stairs.  
In a few seconds Adrian came running after me. "Hey, you, wait!" he said. I stopped and let him catch us. "Sorry about before. I got distracted. Very distracted." I shook my head. "You don't have to apologize. You know I don't mind that." He grinned. "I know. That's not why I'm here. You distracted me too before. You know I get disracted when I'm happy. Or whenever," he said with a fake angry look.  
I smiled, even though I knew exactly what he was about to say and was a bit nervous and ready to change the subject again. "What's up?"  
"Something's wrong."  
I frowned. "No, it's not. Nothing's wrong."  
"Yeah, it is. All that acting you do with other people? Not working on me. I see auras, remember?"  
I sighed. "I said nothing was wrong. I'm fine."  
Adrian tilted his head on the side and raised an eyebrow. "You know, even if I wouldn't know what people feel, I'm not blind. And I bet it's Eddie."  
I rolled my eyes, even though it was true.  
"Not every single problem in my life is about him!"  
Adrian smirked.  
"I knew there was a problem."  
Damn it, I thought.  
"And it's Eddie too, isn't it?" he asked. "Yeah," I moaned and threw myself on his chest. He hugged me with a sigh.  
"Oh, Jailbait, what did he do?"  
"He? Nothing. Not really. It was me. I kissed him. Again. And then he left. Again. Well, I kind of kicked him out. But still."  
Adrian let me go and held me in the distance of his arms. "Again?" he asked. I nodded.  
"It's just... The first time he said he was gonna think about it. Then nothing happened. I thought it was just because of all the drama that was going on, but now he went on and on about how he lost controll... He never had the intention to be with me," I almost cried.  
"Nope. That is in no way true. He wants to resist it, but he can't. It'll win over him. He loves you. The situation's almost the same as it was with me and Sydney. Except that there's no crazy secret organisation holding him back. Just the walls he built around himself. But nothing can hold what's between the two of you."  
I hugged him again. No matter what games he liked to play with people, this was important for me and he knew it. He was there for me. I wanted to tell him how much I appreciate it, but I didn't have the words for it. The honesty vibrating from him trough the bond told me I didn't need them. He meant every word he said. I just had to wait to see if he was right. "I really hope so."  
Then I decided to finally save Neill from the sentimental bullshit he had to witness and go to dinner. It turned out he wasn't even listening to the conversation. He stood by the window with a straight expression on his face, his eyes all over the place, looking for potential danger. Just like Eddie.  
"Come on, let's go," I told him. I headed down the stairs, but he caught me before I got to the ground floor with his long stepps.  
We had dinner in the cafeteria near the Royal Palace, where we always had meals. It was very handy, since it was open 24/7 and had all kinds of food, almost everything you wanted. Neil took scrambled eggs and I just had a sandwich.  
I wasn't very hungry. Also I've only been awake for a few hours, but I could already use some sleep.. I haven't had blood in ages. I should probably go to the feeders'.  
Nah. It was too late. It would give me too much energy to sleep. I decided to go in the morning.  
Neil of course put my sandwich on his tray and carried everything towards a random table. It was so depressing that he looked in more controll with his body than I did, even carrying a tray. Like he had nothing in his hands. Like all the guardians. And then there was me. A clutz. Or maybe a zombie.  
I was just about to sit down when I noticed Eddie on the other side of the room, eating on his own, wearing a lonely expression. How on Earth was it possible he was having dinner just the time I was?  
Neil followed my look and noticed him too. "Are we going there?" he asked. I shrugged and nodded. I couldn't just leave him there alone. I didn't even want to.  
"Hey," I said when I sat in front of him. He looked at us. His eyes were wide, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. He didn't expect me to join him. He thought I was still upset. I kind of was, but I decided to pretend nothing happened.  
The look on his face, one of the rare times I broke trough him a bit because he was suprised, reminded me of the kiss again. I felt shimmers down my spine as the memory ran trough me. I wanted to feel his hands, his lips, his passion again.  
"Hey," he replied and smiled for real now. His lips curled up in the perfect way I knew so well and the suprise from a few seconds ago was forgotten. I didn't like the way he was always holding back his emotions. He never hidd them completely, I could still see a glimpse of what he felt, but he had - no matter what he claimed - too much self control for his own good.  
Did I really want to sit and wait for him to change his mind? I thought of the kiss again. Yes. I did. It was worth it.  
I ate my sandwich in a few minutes and then waited for the guys. Eddie also had a full tray, which reminded me of Amberwood, where he used to eat most of Sydney's breakfast besides his own.  
"Oh! I still owe you for the plane!" I told Eddie. I reached for my wallat, but he shook his head. "Keep it. I'm getting a paycheck. My job includes protecting you from passing out."  
"I wouldn't pass out! I have too much money on the royal credit card already. I can manage paying for my own food and yours if you want me to," I said, hoping I look insulted, even though I was about to smile.  
"Yeah? Cause honestly, you don't look like you ate enough today. Your first meal? You kinda picked a small one," he said. I snorted. "Seriously? I am trying to give you cash! And you refuse? Should I be insulted? Should I laugh? You're not making this easy for me!" I exclaimed with a playfull frown. But his expression darkened and something weird was in his eyes. Some kind of shock. And then I realised I probably wasn't talking only about money.  
"Here," I said and pushed 10 bucks down the table towards them. He hesitatingly took them after a few seconds of my encouraging-to-forcing looks.  
Tourturing silence lay between us. Only Neill soothed it a few times with his fork hitting the plate. He had no idea what was going on.  
I saw Eddie's muscles move when he ate. I studied every single one of his moves, and they all seemed gorgeous. Even eating, he was still studying the room. I looked down every time his gaze stopped on me. I couldn't let him know I was watching.  
After a few minutes I noticed a small bruise near his shoulder. It reminded me he's probably been training. Something popped into my mind. A nostalgic idea.  
"Hey, either of you. I already know how to fight with words, as you probably noticed. Teach me how to fight. With fists. And kicks and stuff," I said. Eddie gave me a desperat look. "But why do you want that? You have us to protect you!"  
"Because I don't want to be a spoiled princess in a golden cage, waiting to be rescued by people who do that for living! I don't want to feel weak! We did have lessons at Amberwood, remember? And then Angeline showed up and you trained her. And then you cancelled everything." I gave him dull, unhappy look, making myself look exactly like what I just told him I don't want to be.  
He didn't get it! He didn't even know why I wanted to fight. We lived lives that could end every second. I wanted to at least have a chance to fight for myself.  
I also wanted to fight with magic again. I couldn't be as strong as a dhampir. Not physicaly. But I hated the feeling of being helpless. With magic, I could be their equal. They fought for us every day. They risked lives. It wasn't fair! We had to help them! We had to do something for ourselves! I believed that whoever wanted to was allowed to be protected, living in fake security. And I trusted Eddie, Neil and even Angeline, I really did. But they couldn't protect me from some things. Strigoi weren't the only thread. And with that, I believed only in what I could do. Except that... I couldn't do anything yet.  
"Jill, I'm sorry, but you can't expect me to do that. I don't personally have problems with the fact that you want to know about self defense. But I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid you're going to attack. And be defeated. And not only your pride's gonna hurt. I'm afraid for you. That's the only reason I'm tellimg you all of this," he said with a worried expression.  
I knew in some points he was telling the truth, but there was one thing he didn't mention. And it came out of my mouth before I could stop it.  
"You can't avoid me forever, you know!"  
I thought I ruined the conversation again, but Eddie smiled. It was a wide, naughty smile I almost never saw on his face. Those adorable dimples appeared on his face. He didn't show them often enough. My heart skipped a beat. What was about to happen?  
"Is that an order?" he asked. Oh, my god. He was making fun of me telling him to do what I say. I barely held laughter. It was kind of funny.  
"I don't like your attitude," I said as coldly as I could, even though in my heart I was jumping in joy. We were joking with eachother again! Stuff were almost like before Palm Springs!  
"Does that mean I'm fired?" he asked and tilted his head. Neil's gaze was travelling from one to another. He looked amused, but it was pretty clear he had no idea what was going on.  
"Although your behaviour is certinately noted, I cannot fire you because I'm depending on you too much. You may not know this," I said and leaned towards him to whisper like it was a secret: "But my guardian refuses to train me."  
Eddie rolled his eyes, but the smile didn't dissappear. My heart was still recovering.  
"You won't dissapoint me, will you Neill? Will you train me?" Oops. Looks like I put him into an awkward position. He looked like he just wanted to dissappear.  
Even being older than Eddie, he took him as a far more experienced guardian than himself. So, Eddie said what I asked him for was bad in every way possible. I, on the other hand, was his charge. And I wanted him to do it. He didn't know how to react.  
"Come on, I'll pay you if you want," I begged. He bit his lip. "I... I'll consider it. But not for a payment."  
I rolled my eyes and got up. "You guys are no fun. It's always a no when people say they'll consider it. And man, you're both rejecting money!"  
"Oh, so now we both said no and you're leaving without any defense?" Eddie asked.  
"No, I'm going to the bathroom, you idiot," I snorted. He laughed.  
By the time I got back they were done with food. Both of them followed me to my room. And to think I wanted to take care of myself.  
I decided to go to bed. I was honestly exhausted. Of course I took a shower before, but when I was crossing the living room in my pyjamas, I wrapped myself into my bathrobe tightly, hiding my face in my hair. Eddie couldn't see me like that. He has before, but it would still be so embarrassing.  
I dug myself into the bed. I didn't notice yesterday, but the covers were silk, making them comfortably soft and cool for summer. Anything for the Dragomir princess. I usually found that principle absurd, but this time I had no right to complain about it. I was really enjoying it.  
I was tired, my bed was perfect, there were no bond problems, but I spent at least an hour rolling around on the soft pillows with no clue what was wrong with me.  
Eddie's words were ringing in my head and the kiss was repeating over and over in my mind. I liked that he was my guardian, it was why we met. But now it was ruining our relationship.  
The relationship that didn't happen yet.  
While thinking what to do about it I finally fell alseep. I had one of those ridiculous sensless dreams where I moved to Poland with Angeline and Trey and they bought a taco truck. Then they had to shut it down because someone who looked a lot like Laurel complained about peas.  
Actually that wasn't so unbelievable. Except that I wouldn't go with them.  
I woke up at about 5 am with that awesome feeling that I can just roll around and keep sleeping. And it was exactly what I did.  
Then a few hours later the phone woke me up. I stumbled up and ran to the living room tripping. Eddie passed me the phone when he saw me. I was pretty sure whoever was on the other side wasn't worth the hurry. Most likely I looked even worse than the night before.  
Lissa was on the phone. She sounded way too cheerfull for... Whatever time it was.  
"Morning, Jill," she said with a happy voice. "Hey," I yawned and blinked a few times to clear my vision. "Oh, my god, did I wake you up?" she asked suddenly worried. "I..." I started, but she didn't let me finish. "I'm so sorry! I didn't even think of that. You can go back to sleep, we'll talk later."  
I almost laughed. How could I ever be mad at her? She was such a nice person.  
"Never mind, I'm already awake now. I've slept trough half of the day anyway. What do you need me for?"  
Lissa paused for a second. "We have to talk about something. In person. It's a pretty big deal."  
Oh, dear. That's almost exactly what she said after the attack, when she told me I have to leave to Palm Springs. This couldn't be good.  
"Umm... Should I be afraid?" I asked. She laughed softly. "No need for that. I'm pretty sure you already knew thisbwas about to happen. The sooner it does, the better."  
"Okay... When should I meet you?"  
The other side went silent.  
"... How about... At 10 am? In three hours? I have a councill meeting right now, but I'll be done by then," she told me. "Sure. I'm always free, so."  
Lissa sighed. "Sorry to say this, but... For now. It's not gonna last."  
Oh, yay. All the royal dinners and lunches and councill meetings and other things those shallow idiots have since they have nothing better to do. I had to participate that summer before Palm Springs. But not after the attack happened. They kept me locked looked like I wouldn't save myself from that now.  
Well, I had better things to do! I could think of many just looking at Eddie.  
When I took a good look around the room, I realised Neill was probably long gone. Maybe kicked out. He was definetly nowhere to be seen.  
I was looking around the room and my eyes met Eddie's. "Morning," he said and smiled. He looked like he was awake forbat least two or three hours. I never understood how people do that.  
I wanted to say something, but then I realised I still didn't exactly get up. I muttered something weird, pulled some clothes out of the suitcase and ran to the bathroom.  
I couldn't make my hair look like anything. So I looked like usually. Except when I was all dressed up for royal occasions, when even I had to admitt I looked stunning. But that was make up, not reality. I just had to face with looking kind of fine every day.  
I headed out for breakfast before the meeting with Lissa. Neil was in front of the room. Funny, I haven't seen Angeline in a while.  
"You should go get some blood," Neill said. Good thing he reminded me, because I totally forgot.  
I couldn't help but notice Eddie got all weird every time I went to the feeders'. It's not like anyone made him go. I once asked him about it, but he didn't gave me a real answer. One more thing to ask Rose about.  
Blood, as usually, felt remarkably good. After it we went to get breakfast. It took us an hour all together. We had two left before the meeting with Lissa.  
I decided to meet Mia Rinaldi, a Moroi girl who was two years older than me and really nice (although I heard she used to be a bitch to Rose and Lissa, but I never experienced it myself). She was a water user like me and she was also into defensive magic ever since her mother was killed in a Strigoi attack. That's when she moved from St. Vladimir's to the Court with her father. We both had magic lessons with Christian last summer and we became friends.  
I turned to the building where the staff apartments were, decided to try my luck. Before she moved, Mia's reputation was crushed. But from what I've seen and heard lately, she got her social life back. She was rarely found home.  
I really was lucky, as I hoped. Mia was just leaving the building when I was about to open the door.  
"Jill? You're back? My god, I haven't seen you in ages!" she shrieked and hugged me, her blond curls falling in all ways and her blue eyes shining. That was, from what I've learned with observing auras and people's reactions trough the bond, a happy reactions.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" she exclaimed with a smile, but a bit suprised, as if she expected me to meet her as soon as possible. That's what I did, actually.  
"We arrived two days ago. In the evening. I slept trough most of yesterday," I replied. Her smile went even wider. "You poor thing."  
Mia invited us in, assuring me we didn't cross any her plans, and offered us all ice cream. "It's the Royal Guardians' supply. Best ice cream you can get here," she told us. Of course I couldn't resist such a thing.  
We had a lot to catch up with, so I was busy until the meeting. Besides everything that's been going on and I missed, I found out Mia was now dating Jesse Zeklos, a used-to-be-jerk who was now, according to her, really nice and madly in love with her. And Aaron Drozdov was engaged to Camille Conta. What the...?  
Mia also officially met Neil. She and Eddie were already old friends. I heard she was there when that Mason guy was killed. It kind of bonded them, I guess. It made me kind of jelous, I guess.  
I decided it was time to leave at half past nine. The meeting with Lissa would happen in half an hour and I wanted to talk to Christian before.  
If anyone thought my room at guest houding was luxurious, the palace would take their breath away. I've been there before, but it amazed me every time.  
Even more stunning was the fact that it was the second 'version' of the palace I'd seen in my life. When I first got there, it was all in red, since the rulling family were the Ivashkovs. Oil paintings of important family members from all Moroi history were hanging on the wall and the floor was covered with thick red carpets from door to door, making it look like the oscars. Even the lights were slightly on the red side, and it all seemed very royal. And agressive. And a bit creepy.  
Well, now the portraits represented the Dragomir family. My family, I guess.  
Everything was the same in theory, but wrapped in green and gold color. It looked even more royal and sophisticated if possible, and also soothing for the eyes. Like everything was different. I liked it way better.  
I just found it a bit strange the government had that kind of money to decorate the palace.  
The bond alarmed me that Adrian was also comming to the meeting. He was actually already there when I reached Lissa's office with the boys. He was half-lying on the floor, proving the carpets were just as thick as they looked.  
"Ah, yes, when standing gets too hard," I snorted. "Sure, it takes lots of energy to be this awesome," he said with that grinn he used on everyone. It worked better than compultion sometimes.  
I rolled my eyes with a smile. When he said those kind of things, he usually didn't really feel them. Well, he also didn't this time, but he also didn't have the sarcastic yeah-right kind of thoughts. He was mostly missing something and I just noticed what.  
"Hey, where's Sydney?"  
His grinn widened. "She has a job appointment."  
I heard Eddie cough in suprise behind me. "But you guys've been here for only two weeks!"  
Adrian laughed. "I can barely keep up with her."  
"You know, a job probably wouldn't hurt you either," Neil commented. The rest of us almost choked on laughing. Poor Neil hasn't been on board for that long yet.  
"Easy there, Tower Bridge. Step by step. All the vodka went trough the window," Adrian replied still chuckling.  
I looked around and noticed there were more people around. And that maybe Sydney and Adrian weren't making the most innaproppriate actions there were to see. Trey and Angeline were leaning on the wall doing a bit more than kissing and a lot more than they should do in public.  
"What are all of you even doing here?" I asked Adrian, who, suprisingly, was the most floored one around. He shrugged. "I suppose the same as you. Waiting for Lissa who called us on a meeting. She said it was about you, but I have no idea what."  
Then the rest of the crew marched down the hall. Christian and Lissa with Rose and Dimitri right behind them.  
Okay, Rose wasn't behind. Ever. In her life.  
"Okay, so I see you're all..." Lissa started, "Never mind. Let's just go in."  
At first they all just talked about what's happened in the last few days (which was nothing) while I stared trough the window without saying anything, waiting for something to happen. I really was worried about what was about to follow.  
Then silence started. I looked at Eddie, but he just shrugged and smiled. Was it obvious how anxious I was?  
"Don't worry, Jailbait, it can't be anything too bad," echoed in my head. I gave Adrian a gratefull smile. He didn't give me those mind messages often, but always when I needed them.  
"Let's just start with this. The sooner it's over, the better," Lissa sighed. We all nodded and waited for her to talk.  
"Okay... Jill... I know summer just started, but we still need to talk about this. You know you'll have to continue to go to school in September. I just have no idea where."  
Oh, so that's what this was about. I didn't know if I should be relieved or not. Technically it was no big deal. But I've thought about it already and I didn't have a single clue about where to go.  
"There are a few options," Lissa continued. "I don't think another human school's a good idea, but you could join the small class we have here at Court, where Mia goes. Well, she graduated this year. But you can still ask her about it. You could also go back to St. Vladimir's. Although I understand if you wouldn't want that since everything's changed so much and you've probably distanced from your friends in all this time. There's always an option that you go to another Academy like that."  
"Alden's great," Adrian added. "Just too much homework."  
Lissa shott him with a look that kept him quiet and said: "Of course it's your decision to make, I mean, it's your future we're talking about, I just think it's the best if you know now you have to face this. So you have enough time to think about it."  
Okay, at least she wasn't pressuring me to tell her now. I already knew the options. I had no idea which one to pick.  
"Thanks. I'm gonna think about it. Another academy's not an option. I'd love to go back to St. Vladimir's, I have friends there and I've always liked it. But... That's when you guys were there. Without you... It's not gonna be the same. But from what I've heard, the Court's school sucks."  
We discussed the options over and over a few times and were then about to leave. Not neccessarily into different directions.  
Then I thought of something.  
"Hey, Lissa? Since I only have this summer for a while and I haven't seen everyone in ages... Would it be okay if my mom came to visit?"  
Lissa laughed kindly with a look that made me think she was about to melt. She came over and hugged me. I wasn't that suprised.  
"Oh, Jill, of course she can come! I'll get her a room next to yours. And now you can tell her about the whole deal, you know, Palm Springs and the bond... Just tell her to keep it quiet. Man, how didn't I think of that before?"  
I smiled and gave a mentall note to myself to call her.  
A minute before we left I remembered ehy I needed to talk to Christian. I stepped towards him and put a finger on his chest.  
"Hey. You. I need to talk to you," I said.  
"Me?"  
"Yeah, you. I want to practise magic again."  
He smiled. "That's it? No problem. When do we start?"  
I looked at Eddie and Neil triumphly. "See? It's this easy." They both stared at me like they have no idea what just happened.  
My mom arrived two days later to the Court's airport. My stepfather, John, was with her. Well, he wasn't my biological father, but I always called him Dad, because that's what he always was to me.  
Of course we were all dragged into a big group hug, although I felt a bit bad for Eddie standing by the side. He smiled before the hug, which almost made me swoon, and I knew he wanted to let me know it was okay with him. I hope he didn't feel left out.  
Reuniting with my parents brought me to the edge of tears. My mom was the one who couldn't hold the quiet weeping when she hugged me.  
"Oh, Jill, I'm so glad to see you safe! You have no idea how worried I was..." she whispered.  
"Hey, Jade. I missed you too," John said with a warm voice. I bit my lip not to cry. Jade was the nickname he gave me because of my eyes back when we had no idea where their color came from. He always teased my mom about giving me the wrong name.  
We decided to go to something a bit more fancy at first. We chose a restaurant that mostly royals used. Most of the people who were already there recodnised me and nodded in greet or went so far they yelled from the other side of the room, even though I barely knew their names.  
I knew the price in the restaurant would be appropriate for its guests, which means over the top. That's why I took the credit card Lissa arranged me to get. It had all the money from the account my dad donated to every month for me. I hadn't used that card much yet.  
The waitor brought us menues with a smile too big to be real. I went trough it to decide what to order when my mom distracted me.  
"Um, Jill? Are you going to introduce us to this... Boy you're with?" she asked curious, nodding towards Eddie. God, I totally forgot there were people who could not know him.  
"Oh. Right. This is Eddie," I said.  
An explosion of pleasure-to-meet-yous filled the room. "Eddie! Hi! I'm Jill's mom, Emily."  
Wow, like he didn't already know she was my mom.  
John slapped his shoulder and started with the football games and other 'manly stuff', which was just a bit disturbing. But I was okay with it, with not seeing them for so long.  
"Nice to meet you both. I'm her guardian," Eddie said with that smile he could make, the one that could make him a TV star or, as I learned rom the way Sydney and Zoe acted, at least an Alchemist. But man, he'd work those magazine covers.  
I found myself staring at him with a dreamy look and quickly snapped out of it.  
"Wait... Guardian?" John asked. Eddie and I both nodded.  
"Oh! Of course! Guardian. I'm so stupid. I thought..." my mom said and slapped her forehead. "So did I," John addmitted.  
"Guys! No way! Did you think..." I asked shocked, feeling the blood rushing into my face. They thought Eddie was my boyfriend. It would've been nice, but... Right in front of him? Could I look like a bigger fool?  
"Sorry!" John said. "Our bad!" mom laughed nervously. "But'd you look so good together," she whispered after a few seconds. "Mom!" I exclaimed.  
My mom wanted me to date Eddie? I wanted that too, God knows I did, but this was even more embarrassing. Now he was blushing and I probably looked like a tomato.  
I sent John a desperat look and, thank goodness, he decided to save me. "Okay, let's move on. You said you can now explain what went on last summer so you had to move for a year?" he asked. I nodded.  
"Here's the thing. It's a long story, so place in your seats and don't interrupt, because we're getting nowhere that way. So. Remember the assassination I told you about? On that dinner? Well, they actually managed to kill me."  
Both of their looks widened, but I continued.  
"Adrian brought me back from dead. Remember how I told you about Rose and Lissa's bond? We have that now. I can see his mind. Other things about the attack are details. And I was in Palm Spring this year. I attended a school called Amberwood. Eddie and Adrian were both with me, and also an Alchemist called Sydney, and two more guardians, Angeline and Neil. You'll get to meet them all soon. That's about it, since the law is changed now. So. Questions?" I asked and sighed happily. As usually, I said it all in one breath.  
My mom spoke: "You see, when you say Sydney. Do you mean the one who married Adrian not long ago?"  
Oh, so the world knew.  
"Seriously, that's the first thing you think of?" I laughed.  
Of course they had many other questions and even in the future week while they stayed, dosens of those questions didn't stop comming up.  
It was a busy, but fun week I spent with them. I took them as my main priority while they were here. I showed them around the Court, and then we spent most of the time exploring it. With Eddie behind us, of course. Since I didn't kbow the place that well yet, Adrian sometimes helped me with the showing-around thing. They also met the rest of my friends, like 'Oh my God, the Queen!'.  
And honestly, saying goodbye was hard. I was used to not seeing them for almost a year, but this time I knew my life wasn't that ordinary anymore. I couldn't just make a wish and run away to Detroit, no matter how much I wanted to sometimes. I had to be strong, a princess everyone expected me to be.  
At least I had Eddie.  
I promised my mom and John it wasn't the last time they've seen me that summer. I really wanted to visit them at home.  
In the middle of the week after they left Lissa called a meeting for all of us again. This time I didn't overwhelm myself with worrying, maybe because she also sounded way happier on the phone than the first time.  
I knew I was right about that when I saw her in person. There was a wide smile on her face and she was calmer than I've seen her in ages. She looked like she was about to burst out what was happening. She was holding Christian's arm so tightly I thought she was about to fly on only the 'happiness fuel'.  
I looked at Adrian for explanation, but it was clear he again didn't have a clue why we were there. Not even Rose looked like she could help.  
"I have a suprise for you all!" Lissa shrieked. "Okay, I'm just gonna say it. Why wait? We're going on vacation!"

**That's it for now! I have no idea where to send them, so please help me with that! And did you like the kiss? Did you like it, did you like it? And everything else? What did you think? Let me know!**

**And oh, my god, did you see what Penguin Teen did to us with The Ruby Circle trailers? I'm dying! I need that now!**

**Okay, so, however, I think I'll be done with the next chapter until Christmas. Depends on how long will it be. Bye for now!**


	3. Vacation

**Hi! As I hoped, I finished for Christmas. So this is my Christmas present to whoever reads this! And merry Christmas everyone! Okey, I'm gonna stop writing Christmas now. This is a shorter chapter than the two before, but I still think it's not too short. I hope you like it. As always, I'm sorry for the mistakes I probably made, this full of spoilers thing belongs to Richelle Mead, and please review!**

The whole room suddenly went silent.  
Christian seemed to be the first one to recover. Maybe because he always at least kind of knew what was on his love's mind.  
"Wow, really? Awesome! When?" Lissa's smile went even wider, if possible. "In three days," she said. And quickly added: "If you all agree, of course."  
"I think it's a great idea! I'd love to go. Just... Where are we going?" I asked, but my mind was already lost in fantasies.  
A vacation! Just what I needed! A way to turn my mind off for a while. A picture of Eddie rubbing sunscream on my back shirtless played in my mind. This was the best idea ever.  
"We're going to Pentisuala," Lissa replied proudly.  
"To where now?" Rose asked.  
"Pentisuala? The Royal Court's privat Hawaian island? Haven't you heard of it? It's gorgeous, and there are feeders everywhere, and they have Moroi staff all over the place and everything happens at night..."  
"Nightlife, you say?" Adrian asked, suddenly more interested than before. And he was already far from not caring. Sydney, who was on the meeting this time, gave him a look that made him shut up immediately.  
"Seriously, has none of you ever heard of the island?" Lissa asked outraged. Well, I haven't. And according from the look on everyone else's face, they haven't either.  
"Well, we'll have a chance to learn about it now," Dimitri said diplomatically.  
"I'm taking this as a honey moon," Adrian said. Sydney smiled. They were so much fun to watch. And sweet to half-feel.  
The room was buzzing with all of our excited voices and Lissa was shining like the Sun in August. But even trough all the mess I noticed Neil making his way trough the room towards her. Since I was sitting near her, I listened to their conversation.  
"Your majesty, with all the respect, I won't be joining your vacation," he said. Lissa's face fell a bit, but she hidd it pretty well.  
"Neil, for god's sake, call me Lissa. And why wouldn't you want to join us? We all want you to come and have fun," she said.  
This really was weird. Why wouldn't he want to come? I know he didn't care about Eddie shirtless, but still!  
Neil looked nervous. He didn't want to hurt Lissa's feelings, or, even worse, insult her. "Just say it," I thought. I knew he couldn't hear me, but who cares.  
Finally, he hesitatingly spoke: "No offence, but... I wouldn't want to be the third wheel. Or the eleventh, in our case. Since you're all coupled up, and I don't want to be the only one to go alone."  
"Hey, I'm not all coupled up!" I exclaimed. It was already too late when I realised Eddie said the exact same thing.  
Neil's lip corners twitched. "As I said, since you're all coupled up."  
I sighed. "Neil, don't be an idiot. You'll regret if you don't go. We all just want you to have fun. And besides, it's your job, you know. You have to protect me."  
As much as it hurt me, I had to play the your-job card. He frowned, obviously realising I was right.  
"No!" Lissa's voice filled the room. "No, it's not your job. All the guardians are on vacation too! The island is protected."  
"You know we'll keep an eye. You can't do anything about that and neither can we. It's enough as long as we're with you," Dimitri said. I heard his first charge was killed while he was on a break. Rose held his hand, cearly also thinking of that.  
"Okay, I'm going," Neil said suddenly decided. A smile formed on my face. I was happy he decided that way. And it was a good to know at least one of my guardians wasn't that hard to convince.  
I stood up from my chair and hugged him. I think it suprised us both, but he returned the hug. He's kind of grown to me. But I still slightly looked at Eddie with a daring smile over Neil's shoulder. I don't know if he didn't know what I was doing or if he ignored me, but he just smiled back.  
Adrian quietly laughed in the back and I felt that he knew. At least someone understood what I was trying to achieve.  
I unpacked only a few days ago. All the suff lying around the room was bothering me, but now I felt incredibly stupid. I had to pack again.  
"Need some help?" I heard behind me. I turned around and saw Angeline standing by my open door.  
"You're done? Are you even taking anything? A bathing suit isn't enough for a whole week, not even in Hawai, you know," I told her. It's only been twenty minutes, and I wasn't even done with my underwear yet.  
She nodded. "I know. But I think something for every day should be enough. I actually think you already have enough things packed, but it's your choice. I'm just here to help you. If you want."  
That made me smile. I really have changed her. The old Angeline never felt like keeping her opinion to herself. Well. I recently saw she had other things to do with her mouth. Things including Trey.  
Damn it, they really were all coupled up. I wanted to be coupled up! Everyone around me was making out with someone. And I only had a wild heartbeat whenever Eddie was around.  
With Angeline's help the packing was finished a lot faster. I took all the stuff I could think of. Like all the bathing suits I had, tons of dresses (except from the ones from the royal occasions, although I still kept them in my room), shorts, T-shirts, tank tops... Many of them were still in the room's closet from a year ago. Lissa told me no one was staying there since I left. My size hasn't changed since I left go Palm Springs, which I took as a good thing. Anyhow, Angeline's eyes kept widening whenever I opened a closet. The Keepers' village she lived in probably didn't have that many clothes all together.  
So, in the next two days all the preparations for 'The Queen's Big Vacation' went on. Although it wasn't really that big of a deal and Lissa claimed we were really gonna get a break. She just had to arrange everything before she left the Court. And I didn't mind the waiting. It was totally worth it.  
The flight lasted for ten hours. I sat by the window with Eddie next to me (I'm sure Adrian had something to do with that). There was an old lady by the transition. She was doing something with wool that looked really oldish and kind of creepy. I should proably know what it was, since I was in a sewing club for almost a year. Oh, well.  
I tried to read a magazine, but with Eddie next to me... Our hands touched every once in a while and then I couldn't focus on the words for fifteen minutes. And by the time they passed, we already touched again. Then we started talking and he was way more relaxed than I was used to, so he made me laugh all the time. It was actually great and I didn't mind putting the magazine away.  
Then Eddie went to the bathroom. I don't know why, but I fell asleep in the mean time.  
The flight attendant woke me up a few hours later with the before-the-landing announcment. The light blinded me and I was all confused, like I always am when I wake up.  
"Wh... What happened?" I stuttered. Eddie looked at me with those warm eyes and smiled. "You fell asleep. And now we're about to land."  
I looked trough the window and everywhere I looked, there were those amazing sand beaches and crystal clear turqouise sea. Hawaii!  
"Right," I laughed.  
Then I noticed his carefree mood from before was gone. He was checking the surroundings all guardian-like again.  
"Oh, one more thing," I said. "Name it, and it's yours," he said with a heart-stopping grinn. I almost forgot what I wanted to say.  
"Jill?" he asked.  
"Uh..."  
Our gazes locked and I didn't realise we were staring at eachother until the plane was starting to land.  
"I... I wanted to say that we're on vacation. That includes you. You don't have to protect me. Just relax. Go with the flow."  
His smile went a bit wider.  
"I'm working on it."  
The airport we landed on was owned by the hotel we were staying in. It was very practical, because we could just walk off to our rooms. Trough the reception, of course.  
And wow, everything around us was amazing. Just the air itself was warm and kind of salty from the sea. It wasn't as dry as the air in Palm Springs, it was nore humid, and it felt good.  
There were palm trees everywhere and the exotic plants I've never seen before. The sun was shining when we arrived, but it wasn't bothering me.  
I could still see the beach from before. And since it was Moroi night and no one was around, it even increased the effect of a peacefull paradise.  
"Seriously?" Rose exclaimed when we came closer to the hotel. I followed her look. There was a huge sign in front of the hotel, and it said 'The Coconut Hotel' all over it. Next to it was a palm tree drawing that was also drawn on the door and, now that I looked closer, also the plane we just left. It seemed to be some kind of the hotel's logotype.  
"Are you kidding me? The Coconut Hotel?" I laughed. Eddie shrugged next to me with an amused expression and Lissa rolled her eyes. "Sorry, it's the only hotel with wards," she said. "Oh, no, it's not a problem," I said, still holding laughter back. "We just think it's funny," Adrian completed.  
As we entered I realised those coconuts and palm trees were kind of the hotel's theme. And it was a bit ridiculous.  
Know about those baskets of fruit they have in some places? Here they had one with only coconuts. The air was filled with coconut scent and the bamboo carpets were probably supposed to add on the tropical effect. And bamboo curtains.  
The chairs had seats made of palm leafes. I doubted it was very comfortable. The table cloths looked like coconut flavour, but that couldn't be, since it would fall apart.  
There was even a palm tree in a corner. And tons of coconut snacks. The girls that had them on trays were wearing only bras made of coconut shells. Okay, maybe they were fake, but it still crossed the limit of good taste.  
I also decided I had to visit the gift shop later. Although I'd probably find nothing else but more coconut stuff.  
Lissa, who booked our rooms, also got the keys at the reception. When she gave me mine, she said: "Sorry, but you're alone in your room. I mean, I don't know if you like it or not, but there was no other way because, well, as Neil said, everyone else's coupled up and it wouldn't be that appropriate if you had to be with Eddie or Neil. So, they're sharing a room and you're alone. Except, Neil probably wouldn't mind being alone if that's what you want?"  
I smiled. And then blushed. It took me a while to realise she was actually teasing me about Eddie. Also, she was talking a bit like me. "That's okay, thanks. I'll be fine alone," I laughed, still feeling my cheeks burn.  
So, the coconuts didn't stop in the lobby. The first thing I noticed about the room was the bed cover. Three palm trees planted on a sea of coconuts. Where did they even get those?  
The chairs, table and curtains were the same as downstairs. And of course there was a basked full of soaps and shampoos and stuff like that. They were all with coconut. That shouldn't even suprise me.  
Although I was staying in it alone, my room still had two beds. It also had a bathroom and even a small kitchen. Well, more like a stove and a mini fridge, but you could still make food and keep your drink cool. Of course, with all the luxury, not even a huge flat screen TV wasn't missing. It probably had more channels than I could count.  
What I liked most was the balcony. And it wasn't a small one. Of course there was a palm tree on it. But I barely noticed because of the astonishing view I had.  
And to think I was already in heaven from what I saw from the plane.  
I could see a lot of stuff under the balcony were still the hotel's property. There were small round houses placed over the ground. Probably suites, bigger and even more luxurious than mine.  
You could do something anywhere you looked. There was a huge pool with amazingly clean water, surrounded by small shops and coctail bars and incredibly comfortable looking chairs. Lots of people were there, even thiugh it was officially night. In their bathing suits. I was dying to make Eddie one of them.  
I could also see a restaurant with a enormous pattio and even a club. They were both very tropical looking, which was so suprisingly appealing in that moment I barely stayed inside.  
And the best of the best, the sea. The one I already admired from the plane. I could smell it, I could already almost feel it on my skin. I wanted to dive into it more than ever. And the beach, oh, that beach.  
"Lissa, thank you for being you," I muttered.  
Angeline walked into the room.  
"You seriously need to learn about knocking," I told her. She laughed.  
"Awesome here, huh?" she asked. "Stunning," I agreed. "Can't wait to go outside and enjoy it."  
"Oh, yeah, did you see the hot guys down there? By the pool and on the beach... This place is heaven," she sighed.  
"Whoa, what happened to Trey? Where is he anyway?" I asked. "He's in our room. We're going out later. I'm saving him for the night. You know, I have a boyfriend, but I'm not dead."  
Oh, Angeline.  
A knock on the door broke our conversation.  
"Well, at least someone has a few ideas about privacy," I said looking at Angeline meaningly while opening up. It was Christian.  
"Hey, girls. We're going out. You comming with us?" he asked. "Count me in!" I smiled.  
We hurried behind him and met the rest of our group in the lobby. I caught Eddie staring at me and met his eyes. He looked down.  
First we went to the gift shop. Of course, coconuts everywhere, but not the products were the ones who caught my attention. My look was stuck on the counter. "No way," I laughed. I wasn't even sure it was her, because I've only seen her trough the bond before, but from the look on Neil's face it was pretty clear I was right.  
"Who would've thought," Adrian smirked.  
"O... Olive?" Neil finally stuttered.  
There was no doubt about it anymore. Olive Sinclair, the ex Strigoi and Neil's - not so ex - crush.  
"Let's give them a moment. Or a few hours," Eddie said. We left outside. Neil gave me a questioning look. I smiled.  
"Looks like we're officially all coupled up now," Trey smirked. All the guys Angeline was checking were already forgotten, because now her hands were around Trey.  
"We're not coupled up!" I exclaimed. "Exactly," Eddie agreed. Adrian snorted."Why do you guys even try?"  
We headed to the coctail bar. I ordered something alcohol free and kicked Adrian when he was about to order a martini. Then I sat beside him on one of those high chairs you see in bars and watched the sea. Thank goodness the bar had roof that made it impossible for the sun to get to me too much, but I was getting used to it anyway.  
I leaned back and relaxed. Then something weird came into my sight. It was a slightly transparet face of someone familliar. Someone I've seen many times on portreits and other paintings, someone I've heard a lot about, from people and trough the bond, someone loved and worshiped for so long. But... That someone was dead for almost a year.  
I screamed louder than ever before and jumped off my chair, running god knows were. The whole beach turned their heads towards me to see what's going on. Eddie of course jumped from somewhere to protect me. He held my hands to calm me down and I stopped, still terrified. Then he looked around confused.  
"Jill? What happened? What's wrong?" he asked. It was probably pretty obvious I wasn't able to answer. It all reminded of the first time I was in Adrian's head. Eddie seemed to realise that too (he was there at the time), because he dragged him towards us.  
"What did you do?" he asked him in a threading voice. Adrian shrugged. "I didn't do anything, I swear. I'm innocent this time." Eddie shook his head, clearly not believing him. "Then what scared so much?"  
Adrian's eyes went wide. "You're afraid of pinneapples?" he exclaimed looking at me. I've come back to myself enough to shook my head.  
"Why on Earth would you think she's afraid of pinneapples?" Eddie asked confused. "He... He was thinking of pinneapples when it happened," I stuttered. He still didn't seem clear with what's going on. "Why would you..." Adrian sighed. "I've never seen a pinneapple plant before. You notice stuff like that, Castile!"  
Eddie's face looked like he was about to explode. "WHAT HAPPENED?" he exclaimed.  
"I... I think I saw a... Umm... Ghost."  
Rose jumped towards me. "Shit! Did you say ghost? I need to talk to you," she sighed and dragged me on the side.  
"Wait. What?" Adrian asked. "You too," Rose said and pulled him with. Eddie looked like he was about to knock down any second. "You won't hurt if we explain you things, will you?" she asked him. Eddie followed her.  
"So. Who's ghost did you see?" I exhaled. "The former Queen's." Adrian gasped. "My aunt's?" I nodded. "Okay. It's because you're shadow kissed. The ghost was real."  
Rose's eyes were looking at me in concern, like she expected me to freak out. Why would I freak out over the fact that I saw a ghost? I laughed nervously. "Yeah, that can't happen. Maybe we're just all losing our minds or whatever."  
"Look, Jill, I know how crazy and twisted it sounds. But I've never said there's anything normal about our lives. You have to believe me. It's happened to me before," Rose said. "You mean the time you freaked out on the plane?" Adrian asked. "Exactly the time."  
I sighed. "Okay, let's suppose I do see ghosts. What do I do?" Rose frowned. "You relax. You try to ignore them. You control yourself. They dissappear eventually."  
Lissa, who heard the conversation, neared us. "But that means the wards aren't working. Remember? Like when you saw Mason's ghost?"  
"Damn," Eddie said and hurried over to the hotel's reception. We all stared behind him with our mouths open until he returned. "They're refreshing them today, they sent out extra guardians, there's nothing to worry about," he told us.  
"Look, just try to forget the ghosts. You'll be under wards for most of the time. Whenever they get to you, remember what I told you. They'll go away. Just relax."  
I decided to go back inside for the night. It was late anyway. Everyone went with me, even though I told them they didn't have to. I hoped at least some of them were going back outside later.  
Then we found Neil and Olive talking in the lobby. "Jill!" Neil exclaimed and jumped towards me. "Would you mind if I go out with Olive tonight?" I smiled and almost hugged him. I was so happy to hear this. He deserved to have a proper date with her. I'm sure she did too, no matter what she's been trough lately.  
"Of course I wouldn't mind! I'm so happy for you! And besides, you don't have to ask permission. It's your life, and you're on vacation. Go, have fun!"  
But when I turned around, my happiness dissappeared. Eddie was staring at one of the coconut bra girls with a, well, innapropriatte look.  
The girl was a dhampir and very likely a native. She had gorgeous long black hair and very tanned complexion. Her face features were beautiful and exotic. And, hm, let's just say her bra had to be made out of a big coconut.  
She was gorgeous, no doubt, and she had an easy job at making me feel invisible. I could imagine lots of guys staring at her. Just... Not Eddie. I thought he was different.  
Jelousy rose in me. I elbowed Eddie and he stopped staring immediately. Actually his eyes became all dreamy when he looked at me. I was still the object of his admiration.  
But then I caught the girl staring at him. I became angry.  
I suddenly realised how selfish and cocky I was. Eddie was a person, not my property. He had every right to look at that girl. But... That didn't mean I liked her.  
I should probably hold myself, but an idea popped into my head. It was too late. I walked towards her.  
"Hey, you. You're new here, aren't you?" I asked. She nodded carefully.  
"Okay, you should know this. I'd quit as soon as possible. I've been here for a while... It's probably the uniforms. All the guys stare at girls like you. And well, it's okay as long as they just stare. Some come up and give comments... Innapropriatte ones. Some do even worse. You can imagine."  
"Why should I believe you?" she asked with her fists clenched. I raised my hands. "Just trying to help. I've seen a lot of this and I just think it's wrong."  
I was about to leave, hoping to make an effect, but then Rose joined me. She obviously noticed I was jelous and wanted to help me.  
"Hey, girl, she's right. I worked here for a while and quitted after a month. The paycheck ain't worth it," she said. It wasn't hard to believe her, with her exotic dhampir features that also atractted a lot of looks. But she didn't make me jelous, not even when she was with Adrian. Maybe because he was never mine. I never even got a chance to get possesive.  
The girl became terrified. Rose started to count guys who would bother her and what she did to them. She really was good at this. When she came to number ten who supposingly told her to "watch her coconuts", he girl ran away, screaming: "Margaret, I don't care what you say! I quit!"  
"Hey, Rose? Thanks. It was wrong, I know... But I had to do it."  
Eddie was looking at me shocked. Shocked, but kind of impressed.  
We finally left to our rooms. I've only been on the couch for a few minutes when I felt Adrian comming. I opened the door for him.  
"Jailbait, you get more like me every day. Good one down there. The girl was totally freaked out," he said with a light voice, but I sensed a "What the heck are you doing? This is nothing like you!" under the careless act.  
"I just... Got jelous. I caught him staring at her the way I never thought he would. I thought he was different."  
Adrian wrapped his hand around my shoulder. "It probably just suprised him. We tempt to get big eyes at something like that, but it's still obvious you're his one and only."  
"You know that means that girl's losing her job because of me? I still don't like her, but she's an innocent. I guess," I sighed.  
"Don't worry, Jailbait. She wouldn't believe you anyway if you tried to do something. But I'm pretty sure that Margaret person's gonna tell her there've been no complains and that Rose's never worked there. And even if she does quit, it's for the best. It's a lousy job anyway."  
"Guess you're right," I sighed and leaned on his shoulder. I felt that he was trying to think of a way to cheer me up.  
"You know, I still don't like the way I acted. At all. It's not like me."  
He smiled. "All fair in love and war. Although sometimes there's no difference between the two." I nodded.  
Well, Adrian left after a while and I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling with painted palm trees. I wasn't blaming myself for what I'd done before, but I just wished I could stop. With the faking. Acting like I don't like him just because everything went wrong whenever I didn't. And the both times I revealed my feelings, it felt great at first. Then it went down in flames.  
I thought of the kiss. My heartbeat speaded up and my head was spinning, even though I was laying on my bed. It was just like I imagined in all my dreams. Except that in my dreams, I was laying on my back like right now, and his face was above mine, and his warm brown eyes were looking at me, and then...  
And suddenly his warm brown eyes were above me.  
"Are you okay?" Eddie asked a bit suprised about seeing me all delirious.  
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. How did you get in here?"  
He opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he said: "It was open. I knocked for like ten times, but you didn't open or answer, so I just walked in. I was worried. And... Um... Are you sure you're okay? I knocked quite loud."  
Now I noticed the frown on his face and his worried look. Of course he was concerned about my sanity, when I was so lost daydreaming about him I didn't even hear him knocking! I was concerned about my sanity, and I was bound to a potentially crazy vampire artist!  
Well, at least I knew what to tell him.  
"Sorry, I was in Adrian's head. Not really paying attention to the world."  
He still looked understandably confused.  
"So, what's up?" I asked.  
"Right. Neil came from his date."  
I sat up in bed, hoping for the details. Eddie realised he was still leaning over me, so he wisely straightened up when I raised my head before we could crash.  
"So?" I asked excited. "Um, it went great. She really missed him and they had major trouble trying to stop talking to eachother. They kissed. He paid for everything. She's comming back to the Court. He's moving to her room."  
All the things he said were mixed up and confused, so I stopped him before he could continue.  
"Wait, he's moving to her room? Wow, that was fast!" Eddie nodded. "Yeah, that's more or less the reason I came here. If you agree, I'm not staying alone. It's a waste to hire two rooms for two people and they both stay half empty. So, uh, if you, hm, agree... I'd - I'd be moving to your room. If you agree of course."  
Moving to my room? MOVING TO MY ROOM?!  
"Um... Yeah, sure. Lots of moving today, huh?" I laughed nervously. "But seriously, it's fine. It'd be waste."  
"Yeah, we all talked it trough and agreed it's good idea. But of course you have to be in for it."  
Oh, they. I knew it wasn't his idea. I knew neither of us was gonna sleep. But, well, I'd be lying if I said I was all against it.  
I was still unable to move from my bed when Eddie left to get his stuff. Stepping into his room at Amberwood almost killed me. Now his room was gonna be MY room.  
He entered the room again with a full lap of bags. I managed to get up and help him carry the boxes. "This should be an interesting vacation," I muttered.

**Haha, I'm tourturing them, huh? Oh, I just wanted to let you know I started posting this story on Wattpad. Just think you should know **** Oh and did you read the first 5 chapters of The Ruby Circle? I died!**

**Okay so however, I'm gonna try to write the next chapter as soon as possible and you please review!**


	4. Bad Behaviour

**Hi! A new chapter's here! It's also a bit shorter than the others because I had like a really long chapter, so i decided to post it in two parts. The second part is already finished and comming up soon. Oh, thank you for the FIVE new reviews! You guys make me so happy! Please, keep up with that! :D As always, there are spoilers, it all belongs to Richelle Mead. And I'm sorry for the mistakes I probably made. So – enjoy and please keep reviewing!**

Our bedtime at Court was always late, and when Eddie finally completely moved to my room, it was way past it. Which was no wonder, since we already came in the middle of the night. We both showered quickly and then headed to bed.  
Of course I couldn't sleep with him in my room. I was too nervous, even when his breathing became calm and slow. I went to bathroom for like ten times and then started with midnigt snacks from the mini fridge, glancing at Eddie's peaceful expression every time. He looked like a sleeping angel.  
Then I finally settled in bed and tried to calm down.  
"I can't sleep," I finally said out loud after a few more minutes.  
"Yeah, me neither."  
I jumped up alarmed. I didn't expect a response. Eddie was acting like he's asleep for the whole time I was all over the room.  
"Is it because of me?" I asked with guilt starting to choke me. "No, of course not. I can normally sleep in whatever conditions. But right now..."  
"Yeah, I know what you mean." I paused for a second. "Hey, did you realise they really are all coupled up now? Except for... Well... Us, of course?"  
He nodded, so we started to talk and didn't sleep for the rest of the night. Then I heard stepps in the hallway.  
"It's 6 am," Eddie said suprised. "Oh. Um... We should probably get some sleep as long as we can," I told him. He nodded and turned around in bed, so that I could see his back. I shrugged and did the same. But it still took me a while to fall asleep.  
Knocking on the door woke me up. "Go open up..." I murmured with a sleepy voice still half dreaming. But when I opened my eyes, I noticed that Eddie was already dressed and that it was dark outside. It was in the middle of the day.  
"What time is it?" I asked.  
"10 am," Eddie told me and opened the door. It was Rose. "We're going out," she told us. "You two comming? Or you want some more alone time?"  
Eddie rolled his eyes and laughed and I quickly got up blushing.  
Wait. Was it okay he just laughed? Should he be embarrassed too? Was he too close to Rose? Was Rose dangerous?  
For god's sake, Jill, relax, I told myself. Rose was just his good friend. And also mine. And she was in a serious relationship with Dimitri whom she was gead over heels in love with.  
Maybe I had some problems with jelousy lately.  
"We're comming," I told Rose. She smiled and left. I glanced at Eddie, grabbed some clothes (including a bikini of course) and ran to the bathroom.  
When I saw my reflection in the mirror it honestly freaked me out. I even shrieked quietly. My curls were almost bigger than me and my eyes looked like I was having an awful hangover. I knew how that looks. Not from my own experience.  
In moments like that I was sure I know why Eddie didn't want to be with me. He wasn't even in love with me. I mean, why would he be?  
Then a flashback from a few hours ago hit me. I was laying in bed with my eyes closed, trying to sleep. Then I looked at Eddie. He was looking at me with such a warm expression on his face, such admiration, such love. I knew. He loved me just as much as I loved him.  
But why did things have to be so complicated?  
I sighed and reached for my toothbrush. Then I got dressed, washed my face and brushed my hair. After a few seconds of staring at mayself in the mirror I decided I look fine and left the bathroom.  
Eddie was already beach ready in the room. I took a deep breath. He was seriously working the whole shirtless thing. It probably came from all the working out and training he had as a guardian. It didn't matter, although. He still looked smoking hot.  
It was already 11 am when I got out. I didn't realise how long I took. "You think they're still waiting for us?" I asked Eddie. He shook his head.  
"They called earlier. They're already at the beach."  
They really were. It wasn't until we got there when I realised how many of us there really were, especially since Olive joined the group. We occupied half of the hotel beach.  
"Damn it, we look like a camp, people!" I yelled down the shore. Adrian waved at me from a few feet away. I pulled my clothes off and stayed in the bikini like others.  
The bond told me Adrian loved that. Sydney was leaning on his chest and they were both even more relaxed than at Court. It even felt great for me, feeling how they were enjoying the warmth.  
There was no sun, of course. We were still on the night schedule. Comming from Palm Springs, I honestly kind of missed it.  
And, hm, back at Court my first association for vacation was Eddie rubbing sunscream on my back. I should've thought of the fact that I wouldn't need it at night. It was a good thing I was Moroi. It meant I could see well at night. Almost as well as during the day.  
After I placed my towel next to Eddie's on the sand, I closed my eyes and went back to sweet, sweet dreams.  
"Hey, let's go down the shore for a walk. I wanna see if there's anything down there. I think there is," a familiar voice said, but I couldn't tell who it was. I couldn't even tell if it was real or a dream, I was still too sleepy.  
That is, until the voice's owner kicked me.  
"Ouch! What was that for?" I exclaimed opening my eyes. Angeline's blue ones were staring at me. She looked mad, but her expression soothed when she saw mine.  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or something. You're okay, right? I just hate it when people ignore me," she sighed and gave me an apologetic smile.  
"I'm fine. And," I told her, "Don't blame the people who ignore you because they're a sleep." She smiled.  
"Angeline, what do you think you're doing? Jill's your charge! You protect her, not hurt her! PROTECT! P-R-O-T-E-C-T! I should've knocked you down for this!" exclaimed Eddie. He, as always when he assumed I was in danger, appeared out of nowhere. I thought he was also asleep. Well, if he was, I knew he wasn't gonna fall back to sleep soon, because he was pissed off. His eyes were burning with rage, and I was all over it. I probably shouldn't have liked it, but I kind of did.  
"Oh, relax. She didn't mean any harm. Also, it proves how prepared she is to face an enemy," I pointed out. He was about to say something else, but I turned back to Angeline, ignoring him on purpose, even though it was totally hot what he was doing. I was kind of playing with him.  
"So, Angeline? What did you even ask that was so important?"  
"I said," she rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed about repeating herself, "Let's go down the shore for a walk. To explore a little more, since we didn't yesterday."  
Ouf, I felt kind of bad about that. She was forced (I sure said she didn't have to, but it was obvious that everyone did it) to get inside because of my fallout, when all she wanted to do was have some fun. That was actually what all of us wanted. That was the reason we were having this vacation.  
"Let's go," I told her with a geniue smile. "Eddie, you comming?" He smiled too.  
"Do I have a choice?"  
"No, not really."  
"Thanks, guys!" said Angeline and hugged first me, then Trey, who'd been standing on the side during the whole thing. At least he got his part now. It wasn't just a hug. What I'd learned in the past months with Angeline, was that it was all or nothing with her.  
"Hey, what's that about?" Adrian asked. Sydney rolled her eyes with a smile. "They're going on a walk."  
Without any further conversation they joined us. Sometimes it was like they had a bond too. Well, they probably did, but not like mine at all.  
After walking for a little while I noticed a bunch of boats in the water with a sign above them. I stepped closer to read it.  
"Look, rent a boat. I wish I could drive one," I sighed. I already saw myself driving a boat with my awkward skills... Nope. Not a good idea. I'd kill someone. But I loved water. It was the element I'd specialised in.  
"I can drive a boat," Eddie told me. Of course he could. It didn't seem right that he couldn't. But it still made him just more perfect in my eyes. Him driving a boat... and me on it. That seemed like a good idea. One we should definetly try out.  
"Lets rent one! I can use my family bank account!" I said excited. "I don't know," he replied and shook his head. He had that strict guardian look that meant he thought I could get hurt.  
"Oh, come on! What could happen? You know you want it too!" I begged. I gave him that innocent look of a poor little girl who doesn't ever get to have any fun because she's a princess. I did it because I knew he couldn't refuse anything when he saw it. He felt too sorry for me.  
"Fine," he sighed. But I could see he was happy about it too. His face softened. He DID want to go! I knew him so well. I knew he wanted to have some fun too.  
I cheered in excitment about my victory and wrapped my arms around him. He chuckled and pulled me a bit closer.  
"Awww." That was Adrian's voice in my head. It was frustrating, someone else in your brain. Sometimes the bond just annoyed me. He did that on purpose. He liked teasing me like that. No other girl had that kind of problem. Being teased directly into her head. Well, maybe it was still better than if anyone but me heard it.  
Then I realised I'm hugging Eddie. He was hugging me back, of course. It was nice to feel his hands on my back, like we were meant to be like this.  
But I couldn't just hug him like that in public!  
I let go and took a step back, but couldn't take my look away from his gorgeous eyes. His gaze was locked on mine too. There was some tension between us. I was shibbering. Things like that happened all the time and it was getting more and more awkward.  
My look slidd from his eyes down to his lips and I took a breath trying to calm down before I could-  
"I wanna go too!" Angeline's voice broke the silence. Great, I thought. I almost groaned in dissapproval, but then I realised it was just because I was about to lose my alone time with Eddie. Like I didn't have enough of that in the room that we shared.  
I blushed uncontrolabley. Luckily no one noticed. What was up with the whole jelousy thing lately?  
"I can drive it," Trey smiled. "Then let's go too!" Angeline shrieked. "Umm... we're broke. We can't," Trey replied, obviously dissapointed he had to let her down, even though he was pretty good at trying to hide it. Angeline didn't do so well. Her face fell and she looked like she was about to burst into tears.  
"I'll pay. I've got enough money," I offered. "Really?" Angeline breathed. I nodded. I was feeling kinda generous. And guilty because I was against them having a good time at first. I mean, they were getting their own boat anyway.  
Angeline jumped up and hugged me and Trey (again). It seemed to be a hugging day.  
We got into the boats after I paid to their owner. I rented them for two hours.  
Angeline and Trey didn't exactly get far because they were making out all along, but Eddie and I had the time of our lives.  
He took my advice from the plane and completely relaxed. Things weren't even awkward. He looked like a god, or as Sydney would say, an anthic statue. His hair was floating in the wind, making it looked like gold. His warm brown eyes were shining like in those rare moments that were honestly my favorite kind in the world because I could see he was happy. His tanned skin - that came from being allowed to be on the sun - made him look like a model from a magazine cover. I'd totally buy that kind of magazine.  
I wanted to kiss him the whole time, but I held myself. I knew I'd just ruin everything. We had so much fun without making a scene from a chick flick.  
"We should buy one of these things!" I yelled over the wind. He wouldn't hear me otherwise, even though he was only a few inches away, which I was perfectly aware of the whole time we were on the boat.  
Eddie laughed. "This one will do!"  
We really got a great one. The brand was called Elan, which Eddie commented as a high quality boat. I've honestly never heard of it, but I also had no idea about boats. It suprised me a bit that Eddie did.  
I could, although, admitt it was a gorgeous boat. I loved it. It was metalic gray with black stripes and looked like a Ferarri in the boat categoria. It was also astonishingly comfortabe with white leather seats, but it wouldn't be too hot in it during the day because it had a moving roof. I'd buy it anytime.  
And my driver sure loved it. The way he touched the turning wheel reminded me of the way Sydney treated Adrian's mustang. This boat seemed to be the perfect way to spend time for both of us.  
"I could buy it, you know! If the owner would let me!"  
Eddie looked at me suprised and slowed down, so the engine went a bit more quiet, back to the point where we could normaly talk.  
"Jill, you can't just buy a boat. I mean... Sure you can, theoretically, but do you really need one?" His eyes weren't shining anymore, he looked concerned. It was true, I was acting a bit out of my mind lately, but it wasn't that bad... Right?  
"I didn't say I need one, I just saw how happy you were and how much fun we were having." He was still looking at me with that shadow on his face, even though his expression softened a little bit. I sighed and contined: "Look, all the royals buy stuff they don't need. We'd use this thing every time we'd be here, you know? Like this time."  
His face became really... Weird, especially when I mentioned the royals.  
"Jill, I'm worried about you, you know. First that thing in the lobby, don't think I didn't notice. It was actually a very good idea, but definetly NOT you. And now this? You're really acting a bit weird, you know!"  
I was about to say something. Something in the 'You're just my guardian, don't tell me what to do!' style, but when he saw my face, he calmed down a bit and continued: "I'm not trying to lecture you or anything, I just don't get it. What's going on? This isn't normal. Not for you. You're nothing like those stuck up royals, the fact that you're here with me proves it. Please, just..." He gave me a desperat look, like he doesn't know what else to say.  
I didn't want to show it, but his words hit me. He was right. What was wrong with me? The whole jelousy thing, and... And buying a boat really wasn't something I'd do.  
And why did he know me so well? Almost like he could read my mind sometimes. He could read me. He could see trough me. And the way he noticed how jelous I was. How? Why?  
And the weirdest of all... Even seeing trough me, he still didn't notice that we're meant to be! Come on!  
"Fine, I won't buy the boat," I said rolling my eyes. "That's not what I... Never mind," he sighed and speeded the boat up again.  
It was funny, how sometimes he was the only one I needed next to me. We completed eachother, I couldn't be perfect without him. But sometimes we could be eachother's biggest enemy, fighting like little kids. Although I was mad at him, it still felt wrong.  
Everything was the same as before, but I just couldn't relax anymore. He was right. I was acting nothing like myself, and I had no idea why.  
Eddie landed the boat at our 'camp' for a second, letting me to get off, since we were driving close anyway. Then he drove it back to the owner to anchor it.  
Trey and Angeline didn't get very far, so they just returned the boat after the time passed and walked back. Sydney and Adrian, who didn't get a ride, returned soon after we left. They were happily making out for a while when I got off the boat. Everyone else was also doing something on their towels or in the water, so I just joined them.  
"Hey, you!" a female voice yelled behind me.  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
The girl walked towards me. She was a dhampir, a bit older than me and obviously also on vacation. I noticed natives weren't very excited about going to the crouded beach in tiny bikinis, like this girl seemed to be. She had very tanned, probably not naturaly dark skin and platinum blond, almost white pixie cut. There was a small ring in her nose and she looked like a barbie gone bad.  
"You know that guy you were with in the boat? That dhampir?"  
Eddie? My heart stopped. Why would she want him?  
The girl seemed to consider her words while the wheels in my head were spinning. She slapped her forehead and then punched my shoulder in, what, some weird attempt to apologise?  
"Sorry, sistah, of course you know him if he's driving you around in a boat, huh?" She laughed. "Seriously, I have no idea what I'm saying. I was gonna ask if he's single. I mean, he's goddamn hot!"  
I smiled politely and considered what to do. I was about to say we're dating, but... That would be a lot like what I did a day before to the girl in reception. I didn't want that, so I decided to tell the truth.  
"Um, yeah, he's single. For now. But, you see, the thing is... I noticed how hot he is too. We, um, kinda have a thing between us. We're not, you know, together yet, but it's just a question of time." She was staring at me with her eyebrows raised. "I hope," I added.  
Did I go too far?  
She stared at me for a little longer and then exclaimed: "Oh, yeah, sure, I get it! I can't believe I didn't think of that! I'm not gonna steal the guy from you! Don't worry, girl, I have my fingers crossed for a hot couple like the two of you!"  
She jumped up and hugged me, slapped my back and left. I stared behind her with my mouth open.  
"Wow," I muttered. Then I placed myself on the towel and stared at the stars for a while. That was the way Eddie's eyes sparkled when he was happy. No, his eyes were prettier.  
It wasn't long before Adrian came down the beach towards me with Sydney. I sat up as soon as I felt him. "Jailbait, we're getting some lunch. You wanna come?" he asked.  
The bond told me he had another reason to ask me. He was worried because Sydney didn't eat much more than before reeducation, which left her too skinny. I knew it couldn't be good for her, since I could still see all of her ribbs. She wasn't starving herself anymore, but she was used to not eating a lot, so that couldn't change very fast. Adrian assumed it'd be easier for her to eat if she saw more people around her eat. That's where he was hoping me to come in, and of course I couldn't refuse it. The way he cared about her was adorable.  
And I was hungry.  
"Sure, I could use some food," I smiled.  
So, we headed to the hotel buffet restaurant and even managed to find seats on the terrase. It was a hard thing to do at 2 pm, because everyone had lunch around that time. And everyone wanted to eat with a view. Sometimes it really payed off to be royal, even though they didn't kick someone away from their table.  
Of course I didn't want that.  
Adrian decided to be a gentleman and get mine and Sydney's lunch besides his own. We told him what we wanted before, but I was sure he was about to bring much more than ordered in an attempt to feed us (Sydney).  
While waiting I noticed Sydney was looking at me, opened her mouth every once in a while and bit her lip right away. I knew her well to be comfortable with her. She felt the same about me now. We were like sisters.  
So, that meant I also knew her well enough to realise something was up.  
"Um, do you have a question or something?" I asked in a cautios tone.  
"I do, actually," she replied. "What's up with you and Eddie now?"  
This time I was the one who bit her lip. Sydney pretty much knew all there was to know. Which was also everything I knew. Now she was asking for more and I honestly didn't know what to tell her.  
"Well," I started carefully, "I like him, he likes me, we both know it, we both admit it, but..."  
Sydney raised her hand to stop me with a small laugh. "I know the theory. I'm just wondering how come are you not together yet. Yes, I'm not a relationship expert, still, and yet I know this is against all the rules of... Normality. Especially since I sent him back to Amberwood SPECIFICALLY because he loves you!"  
I sighed. She had a point.  
And she wasn't done yet: "And I'm really suprised you didn't fix this up. I mean, mostly you and your advice are responsible for Adrian getting over Rose, us ending up together and staying together trough it all, Trey and Angeline accepting their love, now Neil getting the gut to talk to Olive, and from what I've heard you told Mikhail Tanner to just ask Sonya to marry him before she loses her mind and turns into something else on the list of creepy creatures!"  
Yeah, I was kind of proud of all this. Especially the last one. It sounds more like something Rose or Angeline would do. Luckilly I found a way to delete my image of an innocent goodie goodie. At least with people that mattered. The truth was I wasn't like that for a long time. Being in Adrian's head didn't help the matters.  
"I am pretty good, huh?" I asked. Sydney smiled. "My point was... All the things you've achieved, so many of them love related, but what about you?"  
I sighed. "I don't know. You're right. It's like I can advice everyone but myself. And it would be much easier if Eddie wasn't pushing me away."  
Sydney was about to say something else, but Adrian already came back. As I predicted, he was barely carrying all the unordered stuff he brought us. Sydney frowned. "What about 'the small one' don't you understand?"  
"Oops. Looks like I'm getting senile," he shrugged. Sydney rolled her eyes. "I don't think so. I hate to break it to you, but you're 22."  
Adrian shrugged again with a smirk. "Looks like I forgot that too. You can't deny it anymore, can you?"  
Then we finished our lunch and returned to the beach. "Where were you guys? Without any guardians or anything?" Eddie asked. "Oh, god," I sighed. Was he always that paranoid or it just didn't bother me so much before?  
"Come on, we just went to get some lunch. You know the whole island is bursting with guardians. Seriously, relax a bit," I said. Eddie bit his lip, looking sorry or maybe almost a bit hurt.  
"Sorry, I was just worried," he said quietly in a tone that made it almost impossible be stay mad at him. Maybe he still didn't completely recover from our fight earlier. However, I hated to see him like that, so I decided that maybe I had to be the one to relax.  
Seriously, what was it? What was wrong with me? PMS?  
"Not funny, universe," I murmured.  
I placed myself back on the towel, still slightly in a bad mood. The ocean was very relaxing to look at, but there was a storm in me, and it was breaking all the doors without a proper reason.  
"Hey, Jill, why so down?" someone asked me. I looked up and realised it was Christian. "I don't even know... Is it that obvious?" I said with a small smile. "Well, you're looking at the sea like it killed your whole family on Christmas," he said and made me laugh.  
"Look, I know what'll cheer you up," he said after a few seconds. I looked at him curious. "Yeah? Bring it on. Impress me."  
He leaned down closer to me and made the sand under his feet creak. "So, you see that hill over there?" he asked. I followed his gaze and nodded. The ground was lifted just a little bit, barely to be called a hill, but enough not to see what was on the other side. It was covered with bushes, not too big to get trough.  
"Well," Christian continued, "I've been to the other side like, what, half an hour ago. It's a beach like this one, but it's completely empty. And there are some palm trees, and the sea is pretty close, and it's very spacious..."  
I was starting to see where he was going with this...  
"Are you still up for some magic?" he asked.  
And... I guessed.  
"Hell yeah! Let's go!"

**I know, not much of a big finish, but I still hope you liked this chapter! The next one's comming up, as mentioned before, really soon. Probably in a day or two. **

**Did you see the book trailers for The Ruby Circle? Antoher one's comming out on Wednesday and the first two totally killed me… I hope writing this story even has a point, because I'm worried there won't be a hapy ending…**

**However, i'll keep writing anyway. As you may have noticed, they're gonna be on vacation for a little while, because first, they deserve it ;) and second, a loooot more still has to happen. I hope you like it – let me know!**


	5. A Touch Of Magic

**As promised, the new chapter's already here! Thank you for both reviews and follows, again, please, keep going with that :D Okay, so Richelle Mead owns this, and it has spoilers. I'm sorry for mistakes – now check out how Christian ozera gets magic done! ;) Enjoy and please review!**

The beach really was perfect for such things as magic fight practise. Especially since it was practically impossible to do it at Court or any other supervised place with wards or, um, people.  
"So, you have anything new? Has anything changed? I was stuck at a human school for almost a year, with the only chance to use my powers when they needed me to save their butts. And that only lasted until the guardians got there," I sighed. Christian laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder in sympathy.  
"Yeah, I have a few new things, Lissa's been trying to make magic fights legal for the people who want that but hasn't succeeded yet. I also have a few new fire spells, like this one," he said and pushed me a bit back. I knew I got myself a show.  
A huge yellow flame bursted from his hand into the air. He shaped it into all kinds of shapes. A rose. A heart. A butterfly. A beautiful rosette spinning higher and higher in the sky, looking amazing in the dark and changing colors frow yellow to orange, red, purple and even blue. In the end it exploded into the air like a firework.  
"Wow..." I breathed. It could easily be the only firework display on New Year's Eve.  
Christian came closer and stroke his arm with a smile. "This was just a bit of a show. I can't fight with it. It does make me more precise, though. I hit the target easily. But you could easily do the same thing with water," he said.  
"Well, there are some more things I learned that are actually useful," he added and moved away again. He burned one of the bushes with just one move without a huge flame, so efficent it didn't even leave ashes. It was like it was never there.  
"And then there's this," he said and sent sparks out of his hand. They looked like fireflies, flying around in a tight group and it was obvious he had them completely under control. Then he sprayed them around so they landed on the floor and burned out without making any harm.  
"These, you can use as pepper spray," he said with a smile. I laughed.  
"You know what's too bad? I can't do any of this," I sighed. Christian bit his lip. "I know. You're right. But I've been thinking and, frankly, Mia's done most of it. You could do the sparkles thing with ice crystals."  
"That's an awesome idea!" I exclaimed. "Let me try."  
I took some water from the sea and removed the salt first. It made it easier to control. Then I froze it, even though it was hard in the hot air. At last I broke the ice and made the crystals fly around like Christian did with sparkles before. It suprised me how hard it was to keep control over them. After a minute or two of directing them around in the air I lost the strenght and they fell on the floor melting.  
"Ugh, I need some practise," I told Christian. He shook his head. "No, I mean, yes, sure you need practise, but you did amazing! When I first tried... Well, I better not tell you. Let's just say there are a few less trees at Court," he said with a smirk.  
Braved with his encouragement, I tried the same spell a few more times, but taking the water from the air. It was harder, even though there was lost of humid here. But I knew whenever I was going to have to use spells like this in fights, I probably won't have unlimited sources of water like the sea around. It was just hard switching from one state of matter to another. That's why this spell was so hard, especially in hot weather like this. I was happy to see my skills were slowly improving.  
"Oh, and I got another idea," Christian said after some time passed. I gave him a curious look.  
"You know how you can't always get water out of thin air? Especially in cases like Palm Springs or summers in Pennsylvania. Well, isn't human body, like, 40 percent water?" he asked. It was pretty obvious it wasn't just a retorical question.  
"Been a while since the last time you've had biology, huh?" I asked in a pitying tone. "Isn't it?" he frowned. I laughed. "It's been more than a year," he admitted. My expression didn't change.  
"Come on! Just tell me!" he laughed. I stared at him with a mean look for a few seconds while he kept begging in joke, until he started to trample.  
"Alright, alright. Human body is somewhere between 50 and 70 percent of water," I said chuckling. "Wow, I used to know that?"  
Then I gave him a humorous lesson about paying attention in school and he kept teasing about how "geekish" I got at Amberwood. It lasted until we laughed so hard we couldn't talk anymore.  
"Wait, what was your point anyway?" I asked him after I caught some breath. "Oh, right, right, we had a point in this conversation," he laughed.  
"So, since human body is whatever percent of water you said," he gave me a meaningful look and I rolled my eyes, "You can drain the water from the person you're fighting. They can be your source of power, and you weaken your opponent a bit. Or a lot. Not Strigoi, but we both know they aren't the only enemy in our life anymore. You think that could work?"  
That was actually an amazing idea. I never thought in that direction before. This methode only had pros, no cons.  
"You're right, I could totally do that. I just can't practise," I said. "Yeah, I really wouldn't volunteer for that... But don't worry, we'll figure something out at Court," Christian told me.  
Later I also tried the firework thing. Just for fun, to get better control of water, to aim better. It was easier than I expected, probably because water really was quite easy to shape. Fire... Not so much, from what Christian told me.  
The heart was easy to shape, I even managed to create a rosette and a butterfly and added a few desigs of my own. But the rose was too hard of a nut to crack. It looked more like a helix to me.  
Christian told me that part was depending more on your artistic skill and that the rose took him quite a time to figure out too, since he 'stunk at art stuff'.  
It would be amazing to see what Adrian could create.  
I was kind of suprised when the sun started to rise. It meant that it was already 6 pm and that I spent at least three hours with Christian. It passed like a few seconds.  
"Guys?" I heard someone shout from the top of the hill. It was Eddie. I quickly smiled and accidentaly dropped the water I was just wielding. It fell directly on me and Christian.  
Mostly me.  
The water splashed everywhere and left me soaking wet. I felt all the blood in my body rush into my face. For the first time in my life, I hated water.  
"Looks like we won't have to shower today," Christian laughed. "You're welcome," I sighed.  
Eddie came running down the hill. "You two okay?" he asked. He wanted to sound worried and serious, like any guardian should, but I could see he thought it was hilarious.  
"We're fine. Aren't we?" I asked Christian. "Very freshed up," he smiled.  
"Good." Eddie was smiling too. It was nice to see doing something so awkward didn't make a fool out of me in his eyes.  
"I came to tell you we're about to leave. Are you comming?" he asked. I looked at Christian and he nodded.  
"Looks like that's a wrapp for today," he said. "We did a lot," I agreed.  
We followed Eddie up trough the bushes. It suprised me I was shaking a little. The water that splashed me before was warm, and now, at night, it felt a bit chilly while drying.  
Everyone was already packing their stuff, getting ready to leave. I too stuffed my things into the bag I brought with me.  
"Hey-" I heard behind me and turned around. It was Eddie and he awkwardly wrapped his towell around my shoulders. "I figured you're probably cold," he said with a small grinn. I smiled and looked at the ground, feeling a blush comming up. "Thanks."  
While walking back to the hotel Rose stepped to the beginning of our line and clapped her hands to catch our attention. "Guys, some girl told me about this awesome restaurant down in the city. They have live music and not everything's coconut and stuff."  
Looks like she noticed too.  
"So, I'm gonna go check on it with Dimitri later anyway. Anyone wants to join?" she asked. We all agreed to go. It was almost a bit creepy.  
The moment I was back in my room with Eddie, I decided to shower and wash my head. The dinner was in two hours and I had just enough time to fix myself up. The salt in my hair and on my skin was annoying.  
I also wanted to look my best, although I'd probably notice by now if Eddie really cared about the way I looked. I still wanted to wow him.  
After a refreshing shower with warm water and coconut soap I wrapped myself into one of the hotel towells just enough that I wasn't naked. It was freaking hot in the room. I was just plugging in the hair dryer to dry my hair when...  
...Eddie walked in.  
He was, like me, only wrapped into a towell that was covering nothing but the most neccessary. It wasn't helping that I was leaning towards the floor, probably showing him everything there was to show.  
According to his wide open eyes that was true. "Oh, my god, Jill, I'm so-" he started to say, when I shrieked and, in an automatic reaction, threw the coconut soap into his head.  
My aim was actually pretty good, because it hit him right in the forehead.  
"Oh, crap, are you okay?" I exclaimed. He was still standing, which I thought was a good sign.  
"I'm fine," he said chuckling. "And really, really sorry," he added. "I seriously didn't mean to break in. I thought it was empty."  
Yeah, that brought the worry from before back. What exactly did he see? And what did he think of it? Not every girl had her guardian crush break into her bathroom accidentally.  
Well, not every girl was a shadow kissed vampire princess.  
"It's okay. Maybe next time I should lock myself in," I smirked. I was trying to play calm, when really, there was a hurricane inside me.  
"Maybe I should trust you about being able to defend yourself. I don't wanna know what would happen if you were armed. Or in real clothes," he said with a small smile.  
That reminded me I was still wrapped into a towell.  
"I, um..."  
"I'll go now," Eddie said and closed the door. He seemed suprisingly calm about this.  
Oh, man, I couldn't figure guys out. I'd have to ask Adrian about it.  
Eddie was gone when I returned from the bathroom. It kind of suprised me. I mean, where could he go? I shrugged it off, thinking he probably left tl have a shower in someone else's room.  
I wanted to wear a dress. I knew that since Rose mentioned the dinner. Luckily, I packed quite a lot of them.  
I picked a light blue one that reached my mid thigs. It had short sleeves and it floated down gently. I wore it a lot the summer before and kind of loved it because, well, Adrian once said I look good in it. I was all over him back then. Now, I didn't exactly care. But I still loved the dress.  
By the time I was done, we were already meeting in the lobby. Eddie still didn't come back, so I just went there by myself. Some of them were already there. Mostly guys.  
And Sydney. Adrian was still in the shower, which always took him quite a while, so he just let Sydney go ahead. But I did feel he was already on his way. Promising.  
"Hey, have you guys seen Eddie?" I asked. Trey nodded.  
"Yeah, he came to our room. We told him he can shower after we're both done. That's right now. Angeline's still dressing up," he explained.  
I frowned. "That's not like her. She didn't hesitate wearing shorts that were smaller than her underwear."  
He smiled. "Honestly? I don't mind." Christian slapped his shoulder. "I know what you mean," he laughed.  
I rolled my eyes and pulled Sydney aside. "Guys are weird," I muttered.  
Adrian, Lissa and Rose came then, all at the same time. I'd think they arranged it if I didn't know better.  
"Wow, Jailbait! The dress?" he asked. "Yes, the dress," I nodded laughing. "I think it's a holiday or something. First our Queen shows why she's our Queen, then Little Dhampir in a dress after... After way too long, now you in this little sugar-" then his look stopped on Sydney. He caught his breath and the power of what hit him almost knocked me down.  
"Well, I guess the best's for last, huh?" he breathed. Whatever bullshit he was elaborating on before, I knew this was real. I didn't even notice Sydney's dress until he did.  
She smiled and he stepped forward to kiss her. The two of them and their feelings always hit me straight in the heart.  
Well, then something else hit me. It was Eddie.  
His hair was still wet from the shower and he looked just about perfect in a gray T- shirt and jeans. And he was staring too.  
I quickly turned away, straight towards Adrian smirking at me. "Damn, you guys are adorable! You should see the look on your face. And his. I bet you're blind to everything but... Well, whatever it is you're staring at," he told me trough the bond. I rolled my eyes. At least he didn't say it out loud.  
Olive and Angeline joined us in the lobby too, so we headed towards the restaurant.  
"No, but seriously, what's up with Castile?" Adrian asked me on the way. "I mean, his aura looks like... I don't know, he's afraid of you? No not afraid, more like..." He didn't know the word.  
I really had to ask him about what happened before, so I decided to tell him. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever that Eddie'd break in, laugh when I hit him with soap and then leave like nothing happened.  
"He, like you, doesn't know what to say to me?" Adrian snorted as I continued: "Might be because he broke into the bathroom while I was in." He looked at me amused and mostly suprised.  
"I wasn't naked," I quickly added, knowing he barely believed me. "I was wrapped in a towell."  
"So, what did you do? What did he do? What happened?" he asked.  
"Um... I..."  
Then I realised what actually happened.  
"Did I really..." I paused in disbelief, leaving Adrian in suprise, "Throw soap... At him?"  
Adrian bursted out laughing. I rolled my eyes for the second time since we started to talk. "It's not even funny, and yet, he reacted the way you did," I said. "Yeah? How did he laugh? The way I did? Like he can't believe it? The mean way? The nervous way? The creepy way?" I held my hand out in front of him.  
"Whoa, stop right there. I'm starting to think there are way too many ways to laugh."  
I looked down and kicked one of the stones lying on the ground. "No, the way he laughed was... Like he thought of something funny. Or just something nice. It was so cute..."  
Before I noticed, I was staring at the perfect sky, twirling my hair and playing with my dress... I just realised how much I loved the way Eddie laughed before. Or his laugh anytime. It was warm and sweet, kind of restrained, like everything he did. I wanted him to laugh more, to burst out laughing every day, even if it was because of something I did.  
"Love rules, huh?" Adrian asked gently. I nodded. "Yeah, it really does. And it sucks too."  
We walked in silence for a while, and then I asked: "So why do you think he reacted the way he reacted? I mean, then he just left like nothing happened... I don't get it."  
Adrian thought about my words for a while. "Well, you can't know for sure. Maybe he was just suprised. You don't get attacked with soap every day. And for sure you don't see the girl you're madly in love with in the bathroom wearing unsufficient clothes every day!"  
I sensed he was hinting at something, but didn't realise quite what for a while.  
"Wait. Are you trying to say he liked it?" I exclaimed. Although it made no sense asking, because I already knew the answer to my question.  
And really, Adrian looked at me like I'm ridiculous. "Jailbait, of course he liked it. He's a guy. He loves you. You were wrapped in a towell. That's how the world works."  
It felt weird to admitt it, but he was probably right. I mean, I also liked Eddie shirtless. How could I not?  
Rose was right, the restaurant really was cool. It had a warm, cozy, but modern effect with wooden cusioned chairs and matching cream carpets and table cloths. The stage for the live music was also made of wood and a probably local band was playing jazz. There were white leather sofas in a corner for the people waiting for their table. The place wasn't crouded when we got there, though, so we got a table right away. Or, well, we put two of them together.  
The food was also delicious. They had everything I could think of, so I ordered a lasagna. I liked those.  
We sat there for a while after we were finished with the dinner. Once in between Angeline went to the toilet and came back all excited.  
"Oh, my god, guys, you gotta check this out!" she shrieked. She was holding a light blue paper that looked like a flier. And she had it wrinkled up well already.  
"What is this?" Lissa asked.  
I was curious what was on the paper that Angeline cared so much about. It turned out it was a flier for a band called Smoking Blue. There were four guys in it and Angeline was pointing her finger at the one most in front. I had to admitt he was cute. He wasn't Eddie, but... Cute.  
Especially his eyes were standing out. They were intense blue, brighter than I've ever seen. I wondered if that's how the band got its name.  
"Isn't he the hottest guy ever?" Angeline gasped. "Angeline!" I exclaimed, glancing at Eddie. His expression was weird. I couldn't explain it to myself.  
"Now, Jailbait, he's the jelous one this time," Adrian mind-messaged me, obviously realising my confusion. Sometimes the bond was also very helpful.  
I was thorn for a second. Just a second.  
"You can't have all the guys for yourself! Leave me some!"  
Everyone laughed, but Eddie's smile wasn't geniue. I knew him well enough to see it by now. He'd get over it in minutes, that was for sure. It bothered me more that... I did it again. Made him jelous. That wasn't something I did!  
"Yeah, I agree with Jill," said Trey. It took me a moment to realise he wasn't talking about whatever was wrong with me.  
"Remember me, Angie? Your boyfried?" he asked reluctantly. Angeline stroke her arm.  
"Don't worry, you're my one and only. I just..." She looked at him confused. "Wait, did you just call me Angie? OMG, stop flirting with me!" she exclaimed laughing and pecked his cheeck.  
I sighed, looking at Eddie again. How could I be so mean to him when something like Trey and Angeline had was all I wanted?  
"No, but those guys are really good," Olive told us. "They've had a few gigs around for a couple of times before and now I heard they got a record deal. I think you'd like them."  
Neil wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Cute, he didn't even have to pretend he's yawning.  
"What kind of music do they play? It sounds interesting," he said. Olive smiled. "Oh, practically everything you can think of. Most of their own songs are pop rock, but they also play covers from any time you can think of, sixties, eighties and today." She looked really excited about it. I was seriously starting to warm up for them.  
"Ugh, old songs," Rose whined. "Comrade gives me enough of that shit already." Dimitri snorted at that. "Roza, not every song older than you is bad. Olive lived here, she knows what she's talking about."  
"He's right, they only play like, best of the best. You won't ve sorry," Olive assurred us.  
"Okay, they sound awesome, I'm going," I said. "You guys decide."  
"Damn, but he really is cute. I'm gonna give them a chance," Rose said at last. After a few minutes of talking the others also decided, one by one, that they're going to go. Then we went back to the hotel.  
It was late when I returned to my room, and considering I barely slept last night since Eddie was there, I wanted to go straight to bed. But while I was waiting for him to get out of the bathroom (it had no use going to sleep knowing he was about to come in), I found an interesting movie on that awesome TV. Eddie joined me watching it, so we stayed up for about two more hours. It was a comedy and my wish from before came true; Eddie laughed until he almost cried. So did I, of course.  
We really did go to bed after the movie was over. Or, at least we intended to. I just wanted to pick up a glass of water from the mini fridge, when everything went black.

I was probably only out for a second. My head suprisingly didn't hit the floor, because Eddie caught me in a blink of an eye.  
The room was still spinning, maybe a bit because of Eddie's touch. I didn't know what even happened, and according to his expression, my brave protector didn't either.  
"Jill, are you okay?" he asked. I looked at him with a loose smile and nodded.  
Then I realised.  
"Damn it! Adrian!"  
I stumbled to my bed and stepped into Adrian's mind. He was actually asleep, with Sydney laying on his chest, but it felt like his whole body was on fire, and not in the good, passionate kind of way. The reason for that could be found in his latest memories.  
So, it turned out about an hour ago Adrian got the idea to also go to the beach in daytime. Sydney agreed to it, which suprised me. Did they both forget Moroi can't stand much sun? Especially at 12 am? Okay, I honestly believed Adrian was capable of doing something so reckless, but Sydney? Weird! Irrisponsible!  
Of course Adrian's body was, except from the part Sydney was covering, covered with sunburns. Bad ones. He was sweating hard, and if he got up, he'd surely feel just as dizzy as I did. He probably couldn't even walk to the hotel on his own. The worst part was that he still didn't know that.  
I opened my eyes and saw Eddie sitting next to me worried. Worried about me, obviously.  
"Oh, Eddie, you need to go help Adrian," I cried.  
"What... Is he okay?"  
I sighed. "He fell asleep in the sun." Eddie snorted in disbelief. "That does sound like him!" Then he snapped back to serious again. "Damn, that's why you were all limp and stuff! He's gotta be burned!"  
"Yes, and that's why I need you to go out there and help him!" I begged him with my eyes. If I wasn't all 'limp', I'd totally do it myself. He did save my life. But now I relied on Eddie.  
"Sure, I'll do it. Just..." He looked reluctant. "Are you gonna be okay? You need something?"  
I stroke my arm. "Yeah, yeah, I'll eventually get to the fridge and get that water. I'll be fine. But Adrian won't if we don't do something soon. So go, go!" I waved my hand to chase him out and fell back on the pillow, watching him leave.  
Worried and with nothing better to do, I jumped into Adrian's head again. It really was a nice feeling, lying on the hot sand, hot sun was stroking his skin, Sydney's hand was tangled in his hair, they were just enjoying eachother. If I wasn't so worried for his health, I'd be sorry to bother them. The temptingness of such an opportunity was understanding. Sometimes I just wished I was human.  
Adrian's peaceful state was interupted when someone punched his shoulder lightly. He opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Eddie. If it happened to me, I wouldn't mind waking up one bit.  
"Castile? What's up?" he asked in a sleepy voice. The sun was blinding him. He still didn't realise it was hurting more than just his sight.  
"What's going on?" Sydney muttered, trying to sit up. One of them was more sleepy than the other.  
"You guys fell asleep on the sun," Eddie said patiently. "Oh, fu... No! How could I be so stupid?" Sydney exclaimed.  
"I don't get it," Adrian said confused. He was all blurry, but he thought it was just because he just woke up. Also, he felt his skin burning now. He, although, didn't realise why.  
"Seriously?" Sydney looked at him in disbelief. "Sun? Moroi? Sunburns? You look red like a lobster!"  
Adrian thought for a second. Then he finally managed to clear his mind.  
"I... Oh, I get it! Yeah, I should probably get out of here," he smirked.  
"You're just like... Way too calm about this," Eddie snorted.  
Adrian got up on his feet finally and almost fell immediatelly. His knees were weak, of course not from the same reason as mine when I saw Eddie. In fact, the same thing that happened to me before was happening. Except that he didn't faint, because he caught himself on Sydney's shoulder.  
"Whoa, can you even walk?" Eddie asked with visible concern in his eyes and, well, aura. Man, Adrian was never gonna change. Barely standing, and using spirit. I smiled to myself.  
In twice as much time as normally and with slight help from Sydney and Eddie Adrian eventually made it to his hotel room and threw himself on the bed. It hurt him because of the sunburns. A lot. But he refused to show it. I had to smile again.  
Sydney gave him a piercing look. Eddie was still there, also looking at him. Adrian didn't have a clue what they both wanted, but he thought it was hilarious.  
"You guys okay?" he asked amused. "Adrian, you can't stay like this. You have to... Call Lissa. Or something," Sydney said in concern.  
Adrian sighed. "Yeah, you're right."  
He picked up his phone and dialed Lissa's number. It rang quite a few times before she answered. In the middle of the night, they were lucky she was even awake.  
"Adrian? Sure, who else in the middle of the night," Lissa softly laughed.  
"Hey, cousin," Adrian replied. "Listen a need a small, small favor."  
"Oh, let me guess! You fell asleep on the sun and need me to heal you" she said.  
"You're psychic, aren't you?" Adrian asked.  
Lissa entered the room only a minute or two later.  
"Holy crap, Adrian, I can't believe you!" she exclaimed.  
"I know, right," he said with a grinn. "It's hard to admit I look awesome even lobster red."  
Lissa rolled her eyes smiling and reached her hand forward to heal him. I already knew the amazing feeling when someone used spirit on you. Adrian did too. It was like the endorphins from a Strigoi bite, except better, because you were aware of yourself perfectly. Every time I felt spirit, I felt respect for it and for all those rare people wielding it. If it wasn't for it, I'd be dead.  
It was worth it, getting Adrian out of trouble anytime he got into it. I knew I have nothing at whine about. He was the way he was. I loved him for it, and even that careless part of him was a big part of what saved my life.  
Also, I knew I'd help him anyway. And he'd help me. He'd always be there for me, by my side. He was my best friend; we could rely on eachother.  
Adrian wanted to text me something, even when he knew I was in there. So I picked up my phone and overtook him.  
Yes, it was me, I wrote. How did you even- I added, but then deleated. I knew he just let everything go.  
Thanks, Jailbait. I owe you, he replied.  
No, I texted back, you don't. I'll owe you for the rest of my life.  
Baby you prevented me becoming roast beef. I think we're either, he answered. I smiled.  
Good night, you grill meat, I sent.  
Night, he wrote with a smiley face.  
Then Eddie came back to the room. "Now I really think we should go to bed," he told me. "Mhm, you're right. It's late."  
I watched the view of him getting ready to slip under the bed covers when a thought hit me.  
"Did I really make you go outside in boxers?" I asked. He laughed. "Yup, looks like you did."  
"Sorry?" I said with what I hoped was an impossible-to-be-mad-at face.  
"Oh, don't worry. No one saw me, and I didn't even notice myself until you mentioned."  
I shrugged and closed my eyes.  
"Jill?" he asked a few minutes later. I sat up in bed and yawned. "Yeah?"  
"Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?" He slapped his forehead. "I'm so sorry, just go back to sleep-"  
I stopped him: "Damn, Eddie, let a girl answer!" He smiled as I continued: "No, I wasn't asleep yet. If I was, you wouldn't be able to wake me up."  
We stared at eachother for a little bit.  
"You were saying?" I finally asked.  
He didn't seem to know how to say it. He opened his mouth and closed it for a few times, looking for the right words. Damn, did I even want to know this?  
"How is it... You know, to have the bond?" he stuttered at last.  
I didn't know how to answer at first, and he looked like he thought the question insulted me or something, because he started to talk again: "You know, I'm just wondering. Since I saw the way it affected you, and I thought it'd be better if I knew. It was kind of my fault and-"  
I just kept interupting today, didn't I?  
"Eddie, it was not your fault! Why do you blame yourself for everything that happens? A Strigoi attack, a group of rebel Moroi attack, being a PERSON! Would you stop?" I exclaimed.  
"Okay, okay. Sorry. Don't get upset. I just wish I'd react faster back then," he said. "So, uh, how is it?"  
I sighed and considered my next words.  
"How is it to have the bond? Sometimes its great. Its great to know you have someone who loves you enough to bring you back from death no matter how hard it was for him. Its great to escape from your own trouble into someone else's head. But sometimes our minds mix up and I don't know where do I stop and where does he start anymore. He feels stronger than I do already, so I just don't feel like myself from time to time. I get so confused. And it's so weird, whenever he feels all those private things even he doesn't want to know, and I don't want to be there, but I don't have a choice, because it's so strong, so powerful... He thinks he's going crazy; how do you think I feel?"  
And suddenly, I felt tears stinging in my eyes. But it felt shockingly good. I was relieved, like all the weight of holding it in was off my shoulders. Now I knew why all those people said how conversation helps. Eddie got me and he wanted to listen. I wanted to speak up for so long, but I never realised it.  
"I'll never keep it inside for so long anymore," I promised myself in my mind.  
"Jill..."  
Eddie's eyes were on me, filled with regret. He saw the tears that were comming up, and he was really sorry he even mentioned anything. But now when I started, I had to go on.  
"And when spirit gets to him. It's choking him, and it's choking me as well. He can't sleep, and I wake up in the middle of the night... The effects... They're horrible. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go trough it. Sometimes drinking helps him. But the hangovers are the worst. Only Sydney can really make it better. But... It's so awkward, when they kiss, or even more, and I feel like an intruder... It's an incredible feeling. The love their relationship posseses. It's just that I'm not a part of it!"  
I was already choking with the next words I said.  
"I just want him to be happy! Both of them! But sometimes it's so hard..."  
Then I bursted into tears. Again, I didn't know who was expressing the feelings. I realised Adrian could use talking to someone too.  
Well, actually it was too late for that. I haven't seen spirit effects for a long time now.  
Eddie ran over the room when I started to sobb and climed into my bed. He wrapped his hand around my shoulder and pressed me closer to him. That's when I knew the tears were mine. I felt his body next to mine, I was too aware of my own reality. Eddie was so warm and supple and comforting...  
I loved him, maybe even more than ever, but it was one of the rare moments when I didn't want to kiss him, although he was closer to me than he's ever been before and my heart responded to his closeness just as powerfully as was behind the line. That's where I wanted him to stay.  
In that moment Eddie was my friend. And a small part of me deep inside realised that was also a reason I loved him and a reason why it'll hurt even more when he'll start to hold his distance again.  
I sobbed loudly, making him press me closer again. He even kissed my forehead gently, and I lay my head on his chest.  
"What's wrong with me? Really?" I asked. He sighed. "I have no idea."  
"You know what the worst part is?" He looked at me, tilting his head.  
"Like, half an hour ago I was thinking all about how happy I am he brought me back and how the bond doesn't even matter. How I'll be just fine, how it's a small price for being alive."  
I almost choked down with a weep again, and then took a deep breath. Eddie gave me an ecouraging look.  
"And it is! It is a small price," I continued. "I'm absolutely happy to be alive and I realise what a risk he took. I just... I... I don't know."  
I gave him a desperat look.  
"You were right. I'm nothing like myself lately. Just... What is this?"  
Eddie took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.  
"I don't know," he said. "But we'll get trough it. Together."  
I dug my face into his chest with a sigh.  
We stayed like that, with no need to move. My sobbing calmed down soon with him whispering comforting words into my ear. His warm voice was stroking my ears. Even though it started with crying, it was the most pleasant position I was in for a while.  
It wasn't long until I fell asleep - in his arms.

**Okay, I'm sorry, I myself am in love with this last part. I melted while writing it. And OMG they're sleeping in the same bed! Does anything happen? I guess you won't find out before the next chapter… Which, no matter how corny it is, I hope to post on Valentine's Day… Or maybe even on February 10th.**

**Oh, my god, the new trailer! I just… Like… Have no words. Love wll conquer all? I hope so.**

**However, please review, and the next chapter's comming up.**


	6. In These Arms

**I know it's not Valentine's Day yet, but I'm done with the chapter, so I just decided to post it. Thank you for all the new reviews and follows, please keep up! As always, there are spoilers and I don't own anything, Richelle Mead does. I'm **sorry for the mistakes I probably made. I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

After a few hours I woke up. The sun was still up and bright, which meant it was before 6 am. But the room was wrapped into darkness because of the bamboo curtains, although the sun was making its way trough them.

Of course I forgot about the time and weather conditions when I realised Eddie's arms were still around me. This time I had no trouble waking up immediately. My heartbeat was speeded up enough to cover that part. He looked like an angel with those almost halo like blonde hair and gorgeous face features. An angel with a heck of a sixpack. He amazed me very time.

I also felt his heartbeat underneath my ear. It was calm and peaceful, and so was the expression on his face. He didn't wake up even though I did. That was new. I didn't even dare to move. I could wake him up and ruin this moment.

The whole thing may have started innocently...

But now my heart was pounding and again, I just wanted his perfect soft lips on mine, because I still remembered their sweet, sweet taste... Oh, god, I loved him so much...

I was in his arms but couldn't touch him. It was a torture, but also a dream come true. I fell back to sleep lost in those fantasies and dreamed about him too.

He was in every part of my life, an obsession, controlling it over all edges. Maybe it was good, maybe bad. I just didn't mind.

Like the day before, knocking woke me up. Except that I was awake immediately, and that for whoever was about to come in, the scene he or she was about to see would have a very different meaning than it really did.

The head that's peeked trough the gap in the door was Christian's. Even being quite an open person, what he saw apparently shocked him.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!" he exclaimed with his eyes and mouth wide open and his face in complete surprise.

"You guys sure aren't losing time!"

Eddie put his hand above his eyes to protect them from the blinding light. He was still waking up.

"What... What..." he stuttered and looked at me. Then he realised I was a bit too close. Leaning on his chest, better said.

"Oh, my... This, this isn't..."

Well, it looked like Eddie was more adorably shocked about what had happened than me. Or maybe he was just uncomfortable about being caught at, um, cuddling.

Frankly, it looked like we just did it. That. Thing.

Oh, god, I was thinking like a child, and who knows which one of us was more confused and uncomfortable.

"This isn't what it looks like," I completed Eddie's stuttered words. "We did not just do that thing. I just..."

I hesitated on how to put it without making it sound weird, dirty, or elaborating on unneccessary details.

"I just needed a friend. Eddie came to comfort me. Completely in an innocent way. We just fell asleep like that."

Christian slowly nodded, still in clear disbelief.

"Jill, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked. "Sure," I sighed.

I snuck out of Eddie's arms with regret. I knew I'd never get another chance to be this close to him in a million years. Even if nothing happened, I still liked it. A lot.

Eddie stared behind me with a dazzled expression, still in a kind of shock over what had happened. I don't know why, but this closeness... For so long... It got us both even more carried away than both of the kisses we'd shared.

Eddie didn't normally let feelings control him quickly. He was a guardian. But it looked like I had some kind of power over him.

I knew that if a Strigoi atrack suddenly happened, he'd snap out of it in a blink of an eye. But it didn't, and he just fell back on the pillow with that same expression.

I followed Christian a few feet down the hall for some privacy. My knees were weak. I really spent the whole night with Eddie.

Christian snapped his fingers in front of my face and I realised he'd repeated my name a few times without me hearing him.

"Yeah?" I asked. Christian sighed.

"Look, Jill, I don't want to nag you, but please, please, be carefull. You're too young for this things!" he exclaimed, making me roll my eyes.

"Oh, come on, I told you. I didn't sleep with him! Not in any but the literal meaning. And... I know, I know, and I don't mean to do that for a long time now. Well, depends how long. I don't know how long! I-"

Christian held my hand. "Okay, you have all the time you need. But please. Take it. Don't let him push you. I know he'd never do it on purpuse, but-"

I gasped outraged. "Oh, my god, Christian! I'd never ever let a guy push me into something I don't want. And... What, what are you saying? We're not even together!"

He held my shoulders, trying to calm me down and spoke quietly: "I know, I know. Calm down, nobody has to hear this! And, dammit, I'm just looking out for you."

I nodded. "Sorry, and thanks. I know you are. I got a bit carried away. I'll be careful, in whatever way."

"Alright," he said and left back towards his room. He turned around when he was already half way down the hall and yelled: "I came because we're getting breakfast! Get up!"

"Will do!" I replied and returned to my room.

Eddie was already up. He was making my bed with a firm face. I knew he was about to give me a lecture about our relationship again.

As I expected, he opened his mouth, exhaled and started: "Jill, about what happened earlier. I-"

I put my hand up to stop him.

"No, please, save it. I don't need you to elaborate, I already know. What happened tonight meant nothing and it doesn't change anything. We're just friends. There can't be anything between us. You're my guardian. You're sorry. You didn't mean to give a wrong impression."

Eddie bent his head. He looked sad, and all of his firmness from before was gone. I didn't want to make him think I was angry. But we had to clear this up. He started, and I knew I have to end.

"Jill-" he said hesitating.

I leaned my hand on my hip. "Yeah? You have something to say? Am I wrong?"

Eddie sighed and shook his head. I stepped closer to him.

"Good. Then I know you as well as I hoped." I paused for a second. "Look, I'm not mad. I have no right to be. I... Thank you. I needed a friend yesterday. You were there for me. You were just what I needed."

He smiled, still with a hint of that sadness left. "Anytime. You know, I liked it too. I know people get the wrong impression of it. Like Christian did. I know he didn't mean any harm. But it was nice to spend some time with you, to be close to you."

My throat zipped up and gave me up. I made a weird, choking kind of noise, threathening I was going to break, like I did last night.

There were many things I could say. Like how the attraction between us was ruining our friendship. How last night made me think maybe it still had a chance. How fragile everything was at the moment. How much I missed the times at Amberwood when I'd sneak into the bathoom and call him up, and we'd talk for hours. How much I loved him. In every way.

But I just smiled and hugged him.

Then we finally went to get some breakfast, which we were already considerably late for. Like the day before, we arrived last. The rest of the crew always seemed to be waiting for us.

And really, everyone else was in the hotel restaurant. It was the first time I was in it, because I slept trough breakfast the day before and went out for lunch and dinner.

It was cute, and they had a lot of choice. Not every single thing was coconut, just most. Nobody really minded that, and anyway the hotel made sure no one stayed hungry.

After breakfast I also went for a quick feeding. I was supposed to take one every day, especially after not having a chance to for the last few months. But I had a busy two days behind me, and I guess nothing really mattered as long as I was alive and healthy.

Later I was in the room again, getting things ready for the beach. Eddie was looking for a chance to escape before the awkward scene from yesterday could happen again when I'd change into my bikini. I mean, so cute.

Then the late Queen's ghost popped into my sight. I screamed this time too, but calmed down in almost a second. I remembered Rose told me I had nothing to worry about.

"Oh, god, what?" Eddie asked. I guess my screams and faints and cries were starting to get annoying.

"I see her again," I said and sat on the bed. No matter what, I was scared.

Queen Tatiana was staring at me with a scared and hurtfully sad expression. I didn't pay attention the first time, but now I noticed she was wearing a bloody silk night gown, probably from the night she was murdered. I could almost see trough her. She was opening her mouth and closing it again, but couldn't say a thing.

Was she trying to tell me something? Probably. But I didn't know what.

She came closer, looking like she's floating trough the air, and reached her hand towards me. I shrieked and leaned back.

"What do you want from me?" I whispered.

"Jill, do you want me to go get Rose and Lissa?" Eddie asked. I nodded. "Our weird stuff experts," I muttered.

But the moment Eddie was at the door, panic rose in me.

"No! Don't leave me alone here with her!" I cried. I ran behind Eddie and clenched my fingers around his arm. The ghost followed me. I moaned. "Go away, please!"

"What do I do?" Eddie asked confused, following my gaze into what was thick air for him.

"I, um..."

I let go of his hand slowly, surprised to see my nails left small red spots on his skin.

"I'll be fine. Just go," I told him. He gave me another look and left.

The ghost came closer again. I leaned on the door and closed my eyes, wanting to make her go away. "Please, please, please, just leave me alone," I begged. "I'm losing my mind already, and now I see ghosts. This can't be normal. I... I'm afraid."

Queen Tatiana gave me a small sad smile and took a step back. So she could understand me. Then she put her hand up and raised her forefinger and middle finger. I laughed histerically. It seemed like a bad joke.

"Seriously? The peace sign? You know the peace sign?"

She shrugged and I laughed again, more relaxed this time. I almost felt sorry I only knew her from Adrian's memories.

"What is it? Are you here for a reason? Why you of all the ghosts?" I asked. "And why me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, you can't tell me," I said, thinking out loud. It took me a while to come to something that at least kind of made sense.

"Is it Adrian? Do you want to be around him?"

She hesitated before responding, but shook her head in the end. Like it was kind of it, but not why she needed me.

"Then what is it? How do I know?" I asked. She looked at me with regret.

After a few seconds I thought of something. "Try showing me!" I exclaimed. She shrugged in a what-the-heck kind of way and came a bit closer. I placed myself on the couch.

It was like charades, but more important. First she showed me two fingers for two words. Then she pointed at her ring finger.

"Your ring finger," I said.

Tatiana shook her head and continued. Now she made a circle with her thumb and forefinger and hugged her ring finger.

"A ring!" I exclaimed. She nodded eagerly. "That's the first word?" I asked. She shook her head. "Okay. Second word." She nodded now.

The former Queen didn't seem to know how to continue from there. She pointed at me for a few times.

"What? I don't get it," I said. "My ring?" She shook her head. "A wedding ring?" I tried. And was wrong again.

Then she pointed at me again and waved her hand around the room. "Oh, the hotel's ring?" My answer was another headshake. She nodded towards me again and did something weird with her hands I couldn't understand. "Um... This room's ring?" I asked. That still wasn't it.

In that moment Eddie came back in Rose and Lissa's company.

"What are you doing?" Lissa exclaimed horrified. I laughed with no humor, suddenly realising how absurd this was.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm playing charades a with a ghost!"

Rose threw herself on the couch next to me. "Oh, yeah, know the feeling. I needed a map in the end," she told me. I gave her a grateful smile.

But as my look was back on Queen Tatiana, I realised she got very excited when more people walked in. More specifically, Lissa. She was pointing at me and her, and me and her...

"Guys, help me out," I said. "I already have the word ring, and need one more. She's pointing at me and Lissa."

"Oh, god," Rose sighed. "She's been playing matchmaker for Liss before. Where is she?" she asked me.

I pointed at the spot Tatiana was standing - or floating - on.

Rose followed my finger with her gaze and yelled into the air: "Look, you have got to stop! Lissa is not straight! She won't marry Jill!"

The rest of us, even the former Queen, all laughed. Although she still made no sound.

"No, guys, seriously. What could it be?"

We were all silent for a while, when Eddie spoke up quietly: "Dragomir."

"What?" I asked. He smiled.

"Dragomir. You and Lissa are both Dragomirs."

Queen Tatiana jumped towards Eddie and wrapped her arms around him. But they went right trough him.

"Oh, my god, she's hugging you," I told him. He looked slightly uncomfortable, but proud, and Tatiana let go of him.

"So, the Dragomir ring," I said. The ghost nodded and faded into the air.

"No, wait! What is the Dragomir ring?" I asked and looked at my friends desperatly. Neither of them seemed to know.

"Sounds royal," said Lissa.

"And important," said Rose.

"I'll ask Ariana Szelsky. She's the biggest expert of us all. If anyone knows anything, she will," Lissa told us. "Or I can look on the internet first."

I turned my laptop on and handed it to her.

The Moroi world actually has its own internet browser, called Fangs. It also has magazines, newspapers and smaller news channels. The browser allows you to see everything you'd see on a normal browser, plus the articles and websites about vampires that humans aren't allowed to see. That's how we find out about everything that happens at Court, which really was a world of its own.

"There's just a bunch of nonsense," said Lissa after looking trough results. "And an article from the 90'. Guys, come check this out!"

We all crouded around my laptop. There was a really old photo of the former Queen. Another photo was next to it, and it showed her hand closed up, so we could see a very royal looking golden ring with a ruby.

"It's great to see our Queen still holds to tradition and wears the royal ring of her family. In Middle Ages many Moroi believed this family ring brought luck and loyal citizens to the ruling monarch. Every royal family had such a ring made the first time one of its members was elected king or queen," Lissa read out loud.

"So that's what the Dragomir ring is," I realised. Lissa nodded. "If only I knew where it was," she said. We all sat there in uncomfortable silence for a minute or two.

"Well," she said and clapped her hands. "I'll call Ariana anyway. Maybe she knows anything about this. The last person I remember that could have it is our grandfather. He was running for king when Tatiana won. But he's dead."

I nodded. "I know. Everyone but us is dead."

"That's the spirit, girls!" said Rose. We laughed.

"What now, we going to the beach or not?" Eddie asked. Lissa nodded. "Yeah, let's go. But we'll research this."

We really did go to the beach. This time Eddie and I weren't the last to come. We were first, actually.

There were way more people than the day before. I didn't know why, but the whole beach was crouded with tourists. Maybe the hotel was having a special offer.

Christian and I practised magic again before lunch. I was getting better at changing states of matter, and we even fought for a few times. I liked how he was treating me like an equal, not letting me win, although he was so much better than me. That made the feeling when I actually won once that much sweeter.

After lunch I decided to get into the water. It was warmer than I'd ever felt it in the sea before and the feeling was amazing.

Then I also saw Eddie in it. I sneaked behind him in the knee-height water, trying not to make too much noise with it splashing. Still, it was weird he didn't hear me. When I was a few feet away from him, I jumped on his back and dunked him into deeper water.

Eddie shouted and laughed, coughing and choking on the salty water. He pulled me into the water as well, making me fall on him. A playful dunking war started between us.

Sometimes there was an unsaid rule between us that forbidded that kind of touching. But in moments like this it felt just right.

In the end he was holding my hands crossed behind my back and I would have lost if I didn't pull out a secret weapon - magic.

Of course I had to free myself first, which I did with hanging all of my weight on him until we both flipped back. He had to let me go, and the moment my hands were free, I used it to send a small waterball into his face.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asked, pretending to be insulted.

"Winning," I said with a grinn.

"You're invincible," he laughed. I snorted, but then thought of something.

"No, I'm not invincible. Not yet. But..."

Eddie looked at me curious. I gave him a naughty smile.

Or, at least that's how I hopped it turned out. I didn't do things like that often.

"You can make me invincible. I will be with magic soon. But I need you to train me."

He sighed and shook his head. "Jill, it's not happening. Sorry. I said no. I'm not gonna do it."

Then he returned to the beach. I think he was tring to make a dramatic effect, but he failed because of the splashing. I'd laugh in a different moment, but I didn't feel much like it. It was because I ruined everything again.

"You know you can't run away? You're my guardian!" I yelled behind him. He turned around.

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye on you. I just don't wanna fight," he said.

"Well, that's funny! We just fought for fifteen minutes!" I shouted. He didn't even look back.

God, I was pathetic.

I decided to go for a swim. After I got out of the water, Angeline was elaborating on how she can't wait for the concert tonight. From expressions on everyone else's face, I knew she didn't just begin to talk about it. In the end we left back to the hotel at 5 pm, three hours before the concert.

I didn't even mean to start dressing up when we got back. Actually I took one of the books I brought with me, sat on the balcony and started to read. It was nothing more than slightly annoying that I had to use a flashlight.

Then, like the first day, Angeline broke into the room and ran over to the balcony to find me.

"You still don't knock?" I asked her with a smile.

"Girl, if I'm your friend, don't try to change me," she said and pulled me trough the door, making me lose my balance so I fell on my bed.

"But hey, the concert! OMG! Let's get dressed! What are you gonna wear?"

I sighed. "Look, Angeline, it's just a concert. And in two hours. I don't really care all that much."

"Uh?"

Angeline was staring at me, looking as if she might just faint. "How can you not care? Did you see that guy? And, I mean, you're single!"

She considered that for a second and added: "No offence, Eddie, but officially she still is."

When Eddie heard his name, he turned his head towards us from the couch where he was laying. His gaze met mine and we both shrugged.

Angeline continued: "Look, Jill, I know you're not stupid and you saw that guy. I'm gonna help you look your best."

I rolled my eyes giving up. What could I do? She obviously decided already.

"So we agree?"

I nodded. Not very eagerly, although.

"Yay! I'm going to my room to change and you pick your outfit by then!" she exclaimed and ran out of the room excited.

"Is she serious?" Eddie asked me with his eyebrows raised. I smirked, starting to let Angeline's excitement spread over me too.

"I guess so."

I picked a striped black and white top and a short A-line yellow skirt. I knew what I'm looking for almost immediately, but with all the lothes I had with me, it took me a while to find it. By the time I did, Angeline was back.

"Nice! Are you gonna wear heels with it?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"No. I'm tall enough already."

I pulled flat black sandals from under my bed and showed them to her.

"I'm gonna wear these," I told her. She shrugged.

Then I noticed what she's wearing.

"Holy... Angeline! You... Oh, my god!"

She was wearing a strapless top with a cleavage so low she was almost showing her belly button.

"What?" she asked. "I'm sorry, but you look like a slut," I told her. She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll change."

I also got dressed while she was gone. Eddie was about to say something when I got out of the bathroom, but he seemed to lost his words. I didn't get why immediately.

"I thought you reached a milestone last night, but you get more beautiful by day," he breathed. It almost made me swoon. He gave me compliments before, but this... This was in the kind of romantic I thought I'd never hear from him.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I, um..." Eddie looked down. "Just thinking out loud."

What he said before didn't make me smile, but funny, these words did.

Angeline soon came back in a top that was still strapless, but could be called decent.

"Wow, you look great!" she told me. I smiled again.

"Thanks, I seem to get that a lot today."

"Just one more idea," she said with a wink that made me think I didn't want to hear it. "Yeah?"

"Stuff your bra!"

We both laughed and bursted out even more when we saw Eddie's horrified look. He heard everything, but I didn't really mind anymore.

After a few seconds I realised Angeline wasn't kidding. But, well, Eddie's look gave me the nerve to be mean to him again. So, without even thinking, I said: "Well, sure, why not. This guy better be as worth it as he looks."

Eddie shook his head chuckling and left the room, making us both burst out lauging again.

"We scared the heck out of him!" Angeline shrieked. She was still just as happy and excited as the moment she first entered the room today, but my smile faded when I realised I did it AGAIN. What was up with me?!

She stayed in the room for a while talking to me, but she left after a while. I didn't blame her one bit, because I knew Trey lately felt like she was neglecting him lately. I just didn't know what to do in the two hours I had left before the concert. I seriously didn't understand her hurry. Back in school, she was always late.

The break from the world lasted for about five minutes.

Adrian was comming down the hall, and I felt that he was upset. I didn't know if he was exactly angry, but definetly upset. He stormed in before I could try to figure out what it was.

"Jill, are you taking over the effects?" he asked. And I had to admit I have no idea what he was talking about, nut even listening to his thoughts. I only learned he was about as confused as me.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He was maybe more serious than I'd ever seen him before.

"The effects? Of spirit? Trough the bond?" he said with his green eyes wide open. His whole face was tensed and he looked like he was just waiting for me to realise.

"You mean like... Rose did with Lissa?"

He nodded. "Yes, that way exactly."

I laughed histerically. "No! No, no. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing anything at all. Everything's normal. Completely normal." I smiled like an idiot, but Adrian's expression didn't change.

"Jill, please. How many times? Don't lie to me. Don't waste your energy, because it has no effect. You and I both know something's up with you."

A small part of his memory revealed to me.

"Eddie told you all of that stuff, didn't he? Of course he did. I'm the one who can read your mind, bot the opposite. But gosh, I can't believe Eddie. Can't he keep anything to himself? Or, well, maybe he was just that worried about me. That's cute. But you, my friend. What kind of crazy delusions are you having here? I mean..."

Adrian put his hands on my shoulders and shook them gently.

"Jill, don't you see? You're acting just like I do under the effects! The sudden need to spend money, the constant jelousy, the mood swings, the impulsivness, the depression, the talking without making any sense..." He looked at me desperat, but I stepped back to shake his hands off. I really wasn't making any sense, but that was what I did all the time.

"Look, you're being ridiculous. I'm not taking over the effects, nor I'm trying to!"

He was really starting to annoy me. Just because everything he said was true, it didn't mean he was right.

He sighed. "Neither was Rose, but it still happened. And you see ghosts... It's like the bond gets stronger after a while, and the effects of being shadow kissed are showing. I wasn't using much spirit lately, just while saving Sydney, but I didn't feel the effects back then so much. You must've been taking over them back then, and now you're just... Venting."

I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my ears not to her him. I also shut myself off of the depressing vibes he was getting me trough the bond.

"You're the one who's not making any sense! Ugh, just leave me alone!"

He pulled me closer, but I pushed him away. Eddie got into the room just in time to hear the last few words I said.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked and neared us, ready to fight. Finally, someone on my side!

"Eddie, tell him to leave me alone!" I begged kind of anxious. Adrian only glanced at Eddie, then held my hands again.

"But all the pieces go together and your aura's darker than ever and it's even getting darker right now..."

In that moment I was sick of him. I slapped his face.

That wasn't something I did a lot, but it still wasn't the first time. It also wasn't the first time for Adrian to be slapped. But still, his eyes were wide open, not from the pain, more from the shock. At first I thought he'd slapp me back, the next moment he looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

Eddie was the only one of us who actually knew how to react. He pulled me back and, for the second time today, held my hands behind my back. We both fell on the bed.

I relaxed immediately and let the amazing feeling comming from Eddie's touch go trough me. No matter how upset Adrian made me, this made me forget it all.

In the mean time Rose and Lissa came in. I didn't even notice Eddie called them while I was fighting with Adrian. He told them all the nonsense he told me before. Except that they believed him.

Lissa neared me with both of them behind her, acting like a crazy know-it-all doctor.

"Jill, Adrian's right. Your aura's darker than any other I'd ever seen," she said with a soft voice.

"Look, see it yourself if you don't believe me," said Adrain, hoping to suck me into his head. I blocked myself again, but his feelings were always stronger than mine. I still felt something, like how hard he was focusing, how much spirit he was using, how angry he was trying to make himself, only to pull me in because of strong emotions.

But learning from an expert, my feelings also became stronger, more independent. I focused on Eddie's hands that were holding me, and it wasn't all that hard to let go.

Until Adrian broke it off with using even more spirit and becoming even more mad at me.

"Why are you even doing this? Even if I'm taking over the effects, what's the bad, bad thing about it? You fight those all the time!" I exclaimed.

Adrian was shaking with rage. All that fake rage. Well, I was angry for real.

"Because I'm doing it, not you! It's my responsibility to take whatever happens because of it! First you take over the effects, then the effects take over you!"

"Oh, yeah? I think it's a fair price for my life you saved!" I hissed with my fists clenched. I should realise how weird it was that I was so grateful, but I only felt anger. But I was too caught up.

"No, it's not! I don't want you to go crazy becaude of ne! I'd rather have the attack happen again, because that way I can help you! I don't want you to go crazy!" he said with a voice that was almost begging me.

"What the fuck? It's the same as watching you go crazy trough the bond or feeling it myself!" I growled. Adrian shook his head.

"No, it's not! It's you or me, and we're different people!"

"Yeah, for you! For me it's all the same sometimes!" I cried, thinking of last night. The memory of that feeling almost made me cry again.

I ripped myself out of Eddie's arms. He was too confused to hold me back anyway. Adrian used the opportunity to pull me closer again and try to get me into his head.

"Look, I don't want either of us to go crazy, but I'm the one responsible! I should be the one! I love you, that's why I brought you back! You know that!" he exclaimed. I felt that he was focusing so hard he barely spoke, using more and more spirit with every second.

"I love you too, and that's why I WANT to take over it! I don't want anything to happen to you!" I shouted, barely realising what I'm saying. But I knew it was true.

"Are you kidding me? Do you guys even hear eachother?" Rose sighed in the back.

Adrian nodded to her words. "Yeah, what the fuck are we even saying? Neither of us has to go crazy! Just stop being so stubborn, see your aura and let us help you, for god's sake!" he breathed trough all that struggle to get me into his mind.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I screamed and stepped back again, sitting on my bed next to Eddie. I grabbed his hand, realising I was also afraid of this situation. I wanted his protection.

At that point it was too hard for Adrian to keep talking and stay focused. Now he gave out the last pieces of spirit he had left and my mind transfered into his. Eddie's touch was gone, I saw myself trough Adrian's eyes. Just for a few seconds I saw my aura, getting darker and darker, although it was already practcally black...

Then like a cold shower, I got kicked out of his mind. I didn't know what was wrong immediately. It barely ever happened.

And then I saw Adrian. He fell back on Eddie's bed, kind of sitting. His face was paler than I'd ever seen it, and his eyes were open, but... Empty.

I realised I don't feel a single thing trough the bond.

Lissa jumped towards him, worried and almost as pale.

"The last time I'd seen this was with Avery Lazar," she whispered.

**Here's the real reason I already updated. I couldn't leave you with a conclusion like this on Valentine's Day. This is a lot like the last teaser trailer they left us with, isn't it? It killed me... Everyone's hurting Adrian lately. Anyhow, I'm still hoping to update on Valentine's Day again, but can't promise anything. It will be until the end of the month. I hope. So, I hope you liked it. Please, let me know!**


	7. Dancing Wih The Shadows

**Oh, god, this chapter almost killed me. I think I'm experiencing Friday the 13th a day late. I wrote most today, because I've been busy reading The Ruby Circle this week (sorry if any spoilers happened in the last chapters,I didn't mean to) and then I was already done when I accidentaly deleated 1k words. I rewrote it, though. I hope that doesn't make the quality any worse. Then my email also failed on me, but I worked that out too. So here it is, the Valentine Day's chapter, as I hoped and promised. As usually, I'm sorry about the mistakes, the thing belongs to the amazing Richelle Mead, there are spoilers, and please, please, review. Thanks for all the new reviews for the last chapter, 17 in total now; I'm hoping for 20.**

**Okay, I elaborated for too long, so find out what happens after that cliff hanger and let me know what you think!**

Being cut off from the bond didn't happen often. Mostly when Adrian was drunk. But now I knew he was sober for two months or more. Something was seriously wrong.  
I gasped at Lissa's words. All of us knew Avery Lazar lost it forever. The last thing I'd heard about her was that she was stuck in a mental hospital.  
Was that now going to happen to Adrian? And was it all my fault?  
"Do you feel him?" Rose asked me. It took me a few seconds to realize what she was talking about and that she was talking to me. Unlike me, she's been in more situations like this and was for that reason more floored.  
I exhaled, quickly got myself together and shook my head.  
"I didn't feel Lissa for a while after she brought Dimitri back. Maybe he just used that much spirit," Rose said. I really hoped so.  
"Yes, he really did use a lot. I felt it. It was crazy, I don't know..." I stuttered.  
"What to we do?" Eddie asked. No one knew what to tell him.  
It looked like we just waited for something to happen. But really, we were thinking what to do. What do you do in a situation like this?  
The air in the room was heavy and after five minutes I was starting to panic. Maybe... Maybe he didn't just use that much spirit. Or maybe he used even more. It was a creepy thought. Why didn't he wake up?!  
Suddenly I felt a jolt of confusion. Just enough to fog my mind. I didn't know what it was immediately. But it was the bond.  
"Something's happening," I muttered.  
Then Adrian blinked his eyes. The bond was back in its full form. He sat up confused, even more than before. We all crouded around him.  
"What... Oh," he said. He was about to ask what happened, but then remembered.  
I jumped towards him and hugged him relieved, whispering: "I'm so sorry."  
He said it was fine, of course. I knew he really meant it, but I felt guilty.  
"You okay now?" he asked me. I nodded. "Sorry for being so stupid."  
Now when it was over, I finally saw it clear. It had to be the effects. But, not only I was acting all crazy. Adrian also lost control a bit.  
"Do you have any idea how much spirit you used?" I asked. And he was laready blocking himself from me so that I wouldn't take more effects.  
"Yeah, I have a couple of ideas," he admitted. I snorted.  
"You're sparkling."  
He had that silver shine you get from using a lot of spirit. The last time I saw it was trought the bond, when he and Sonya Karp were comparing ex-Strigoi to dhampirs, during that research in Palm Springs. But the sparkling was practically the whole purpose back then.  
Adrian scoffed. "A sparkly vampire? People, Twilight s real." I laughed.  
"Hey, what even happened before? I mean, it looked like you fainted and the bond went out, but what did you feel?" I asked him. He seemed suprised.  
"You didn't feel me? That's weird. Well, what happened was that... My body - or my mind, I don't really know how it works - drained all the possible power it had, and spirit took over. It was too much. I couldn't work normaly. As if the power went out," he smirked.  
His face suddenly became serious again as he sat on my bed next to completely confused Eddie who didn't say a thing in a while.  
As I looked at them, the two guys in my life, I realized something. Boys and girls can't be just friends. They're either crushing on eachother - or they're brothers and sisters. I almost lost a brother today.  
"But do you have any idea how much effects you had to take over? I didn't have a clue how much I had it in me," Adrian said. I nodded. And that was just one of the many things I realized we had to talk about.  
Later.  
"So I guess the concert isn't happening?" Lissa asked. Adrian frowned. "Huh? Why not?"  
"Because! You can't be out for hours after this happened!" Rose exclaimed after Lissa looked like she doesn't want to break it to us.  
"Oh, god. Jailbait, you okay?" Adrian asked me. I nodded. "Good, me too. We're going," he decided. "We can't ruin the evening to everyone else because of nothing."  
"YES!" I heard behind the door. Angeline opened it and revealed herself.  
"How long have you been standing there?" Rose asked. We were all more amused than upset.  
"A while? Enough to hear some things," she told us, weirdly proud of herself.  
"Girl, we really need to teach you some manners," I laughed.  
"But, I mean, we really have quite a lot to work on, guys. This, in all the ways, and the Dragomir ring thing," said Lissa.  
"The what thing?" Adrian asked confused. We explained the whole thing and asked if he knew anything. He didn't.  
Then Sydney also came in, wondering what took Adrian so long. I knew she was there when my big mouth guardian explained why I was being so weird. Of course being as smart as she was, she was afraid Adrian used spirit. She strictly forbidded him to, because she was just as worried as I was. But unlike me, she couldn't understand that it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Adrian... He was spirit. Spirit was him.  
"It was no big deal, really. Just a bit complicated. I'll explain it later," Adrian told Sydney. Although still not feeling him because of the blocade he made, I knew he accepted the brave decision to tell her the truth.  
Then, to Angeline's pleasure, we finally headed to the restaurant. She quickly took the table that was closest to the stage, although they were all moved a bit back, leaving some space in front of the stage. Little did I know why.  
Even with all that's happened, we were half an hour early. We could see how the whole croud that came to watch the band slowly dropped by. We could also listen to Angeline being annoying.  
Then the band finally showed up. Everyone clapped their hands and some girls shrieked. They were all acting like these guys already got ten grammys or something. I'd never even heard of them before I came here.  
"Oh, my... Oh, my god, look at him! He's even more perfect than on the photo!" Angeline shrieked into my ear. She stood up and waved her hands, shrieking even more. Trey next to her rolled his eyes. I felt kind of sorry for him.  
The micophone beeped and we all looked up to the stage. It beeped because the lead singer, the 'cute' one tapped it to catch our attention.  
"Thanks, everyone, for your warm welcome!" he said and made people clap again.  
"My name is Luke," he said and bowed down slightly, almost making Angeline swoon, and continued, pointing at the other members of the band: "And these awesome idiots are Travis, James, and The Bombastic Trashcan!"  
"It's Winston!" The Bombastic Trashcan yelled from behind the drums he was playing. It sounded like he didn't say it loudly because he didn't have a mic, but I still heard him perfectly well.  
"You still may call him The Bombastic Trashcan," Luke said. A few people laughed, including Angeline (Trey rolled his eyes so hard I was suprised they didn't turn around... And to think Adrian said Eddie was the jelous one). Luke had a great way with the audience.  
"I see a lot of you came to see us tonight, and even though we're free, thank you very much for comming. You may have heard we've signed a record deal," he had to take a break at that for the clapping storm that took over the room again, "So the following songs are from that upcomming album!"  
Everyone clapped again as the first song started. I liked it. The rythem was fast and it really was that pop-rock Olive was talking about. All the songs were like that, but every one of them was a bit different. Some of them were really making me want to dance, although I was never good at it. They were mostly love songs, and this may sound like a cliche, but I felt like every single one was about Eddie.  
Then one of those teary romatic breakup songs started. There was one of those on every album, I guess. What bothered me was that all the couples around me - and I'm not only talking about our table - were hugging and kissing and cuddling...  
I gave Eddie a longing look, I couldn't stop it, and noticed he was watching me too. We usually looked away, but this time our gazes locked and we were looking at eachother for the rest of the song, both of us slightly swinging in the rythem of the song.  
As the last tone sounded and Luke announced the next song, I looked down and noticed Eddie's fingers were twitching. Like he wanted to hold my hand. I was kind of sorry he didn't.  
Okay, a lot.  
The next song was over too and that was the end of the album.  
"But that doesn't mean the end of the concert!" Luke told us. "We also made a few covers. Really old, the next ones are from the sixties!"  
I actually knew most of the following songs. And then, afer three of them were over...  
"Now everybody, on the dancefloor!" Luke exclaimed with a face way too happy. I couldn't dance. I had no one to dance with.  
That's why the tables were moved.  
Lucky for me, not everyone danced. At least at the beginning. Although Sydney and Adrian were one of the first couples spinning around. They danced like profesionals, and it kind of suprised me.  
But then Angeline convinced Trey, who I think was at that point just happy she still wanted him around, and Rose and Dimitri also rocked, and Christian and Lissa of course knew that dancing from some royal classes or something, and even Olive and Neil joined in the end.  
And so, Eddie and I were alone at our table. No one, not even the people who came alone, were sitting anymore.  
I was about to get us drinks, but then the beat got to me. I actually wanted to dance. Especially with Eddie. It looked fun, and I didn't care about making a fool out of myself. It looked nore foolish being the only person sitting anyway.  
"Hey," I said. I realized he just raised his head the same moment as I did, also about to say something. How weird.  
"Yeah?" he asked.  
"Um... Well, you see... Since everyone else is dancing... I was thinking..."  
This was way more awkward than I thought.  
"Funny, that's what I was thinking too. We look kinda stupid sitting here alone, huh?" he smiled.  
"Mhm," I nodded quickly. "I mean... Just because everyone else."  
"Sure, what other reason," he agreed.  
"Let's just..." I stuttered.  
"Yeah."  
He stood up from his side of the table and came towards me. He offered me his hand with a heart stopping grinn, and I took it giggling. I had to watch out not to fall on our way to the other couples.  
I mean, we weren't really a couple.  
"And there, our last couple goes to the dancefloor!" Luke exclaimed trough an instrumental break. I felt myself blush.  
"Wohoo, Jailbait, there you go!" Adrian mind-messaged me. I blushed even more.  
Well, maybe Sydney and Adrian were ruling out there, but Eddie wasn't much worse, if he was. If only he had a decent dancer.  
But I did feel good, spinning around in his arms. I was mostly still trying not to fall, but he took the lead and I think we looked pretty good, even with me struggeling.  
Then I stepped on his foot, making both of us almost fall over. He caught his - and my - balance in the last moment.  
"Oh, god, I'm so sorry," I whispered. He just chuckled. The next time it happened, I told him I'm not very good at dancing. In case he hasn't noticed yet. It happened a few more times, but always managed to stay standing. And he always just laughed it off.  
We danced like that trough a few more songs. I knew most of them from the radio. The band switched trough the seventies and eighties in between.  
"Okay, this is the last song!" Luke told us. Too bad, I thought. Even trough the tripping, I really had a blast.  
A slow song sounded and all the couples hugged again. Those few single people sat down. Some sound that wasn't singing came trough the mic again, but I didn't hear it. I was too busy trying to decide if I should do this with Eddie or not. Would that be wrong?  
In the end I decided to let him decide. But the expression on his face told me he was facing the same problem.  
Then, what a coincidence, Rose and Dimitri danced from somewhere. Rose crashed into Eddie in the way that pushed him closer to me and winked at me. I held laughter back.  
Eddie shrugged and put his hands on my waist, letting a warm feeling come over me. I smiled and put my hands on his shoulders. And we danced.  
It was really more like shifting from one foot to another while looking into eachother's eyes and getting lost in them. But let's call it dancing. It's what everyone did.  
When the chorus sounded for the last time, the warm feeling was at its best and Eddie leaned me back for a little bit. His face came closer to mine, making me feel his warm breath. His eyes were more gorgeous than ever.  
My heart raced up.  
"This is it," I thought. "He's finnaly going to kiss me. He changed his mind."  
It was finnaly happening! We were gonna-  
"This was the last song," came Luke's voice from behind us. Eddie stepped backwards and gave me an apologetic smile.  
Luke also thanked everyone for comming, but I already felt my face fell. My chance was gone. It was just the romantic song. Eddie didn't even change his mind.  
Honestly, I was about to cry.  
The music was gone, and with nothing to dance to, our crew returend to the table. I just followed, still feeling crushed. Adrian walked past me and gave me a sympathetic smile. Sometimes I just really didn't know how he was keeping up with me and making out with Sydney at the same time.  
"You two know only couples danced to the last song, right?" Christian asked Eddie and me with a smirk. He didn't seem to notice my misery. And yet, all that dissappointed, I realized I'm blushing.  
Christian then moaned in pain, probably comming from someone kicking him under the table. Unlike him, they were aware of what happened, and nobody looked happy about my heart getting more broken. Fortunately, Christian realized what was the kick - whoever it came from - trying to tell him.  
It soon turned out we went back to the table to get some dinner. I only ordered fries. And I didn't eat much. I didn't feel like anything.  
"Hey, um..." I heard behind me. Angeline punched my shoulder with shiny eyes.  
The voice that talked to me was familiar, but I didn't recognise it immediately. I turned around, suprised to realize it was Luke.  
Luke, the singer. Like, actually.  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
I was suddenly in a better mood. Maybe it was the guy's looks, really. He was cute. Very cute, I mean. The amazing blue eyes were standing out even more than on the flier. I thought they were photoshoped, but they weren't.  
His hair was in a golden brown shade that was neither light nor dark, but adorned with natural light highlights, it suited his regular Moroi pale complexion well. He was wearing it up, which brought out his perfect cheekbones and dimples when he was smiling like right now.  
I could see what Angeline was digging about him.  
"Could I talk to you for a second?" he asked me. His face was completely calm, like he didn't even care if I do follow him or not, but I've learned reading people enough to see his anxious body posture.  
"Sure, but why?" I asked. He smiled and winked at me. "Follow me and find out."  
Then he left. He was hoping for me to follow him and and I found myself in front of a problem. I didn't know what to do.  
I looked around the table in hope for some help. Most of them were surprised, some amused, maybe curious.  
"Guys?" I asked.  
"Go!" Trey told me immediately. "Maybe he'll leave us alone."  
"Go, I wanna know what he wants," Rose said with a smirk. She was one of the curious-amused ones. "But call me if he gets on your back."  
I really was about to go. But before I did, I looked at Angeline. She was the one who was falling for him, and I seriously didn't want to pick a fight with her. Mostly because with her, it literally meant a physical fight. It wasn't one I could win. Or survive.  
"Go, go!" she laughed. "Thanks for being thoughtful, but you're the single one here. I already have my one and only." Those words made Trey's face shine like a Christmas tree.  
"Plus, I'm curious too," Angeline added.  
In the end, with my heart speeding up, I glanced at Eddie too. He had a poker face on, there was no way I could guess what he was thinking. He slowly nodded at me. "Do as you please," he told me. I knew everyone was thinking how awkward this was.  
I gave them a quick fake smile and followed Luke, who was leaning on the stage with an expectant look waiting for me.  
"And be careful? I mean, hello?" Neil yelled behind me. It almost made me laugh. Funny Eddie didn't bring that up. All the drama about not dating me to protect me was making him forget about actually protecting me.  
I think he was about to get a lesson from everyone about his not-so-love life while I'd be gone.  
Luke smiled, looking kind of relieved when he saw me next to him. "I was about to think you aren't comming," he chuckled.  
"I'd never miss... Whatever it is," I said with a smile. "Oh, by the way, what is it?"  
"Oh. That. Well, first of all, I'm Luke," he said and held my hand shaking it.  
"Yes, I know. I was at the concert," I told him. He nodded. "I saw you. I just think it's more proper this way than you hearing my name while I'm trying to impress the whole croud instead of just you."  
I smirked. "Fair enough. Then you should know I'm Jill. Nice to, um, properly meet you." He shook my hand again with a smile, but suddenly stopped. He stared into my eyes gasping.  
"What?" I asked kind of annoyed after almost a minute of that stare treatment, while he was limply holding my hand.  
"You're that Dragomir princess, aren't you?" he asked.  
At first it shocked me. Better said, scared the heck out of me. How could he know that? I mean, nobody was supposed to know. Then it hit me. He was also Moroi. I didn't have to pretend I'm human anymore. Wow, Palm Springs got to me.  
Probably I was about as shocked as he was before, but I recovered quickly and rolled my eyes.  
"Yes, I am the princess. Techically. I guess. But don't call me that. It annoys me. I was just a normal person for most of my life, and I still am." He gave me a naughty smile that I knew well from the other guys in my life.  
"Well, too bad for you. From now on, I'm gonna call you princess. It's gonna be my cute nickname for you."  
I rolled my eyes again, although I was laughing inside. Luke was an interesting guy. It was easy to talk to him.  
"Whatever. May I find out why I'm here at last?" I asked. He nodded and exhaled dramatically.  
"Of course, princess. Actually, well..."  
He gave me what I think was the most astonishing smile he possesed and held my hands again.  
"Would you like to go out with me?"  
And for the second time in this conversation he shocked me. I didn't even know what to say. A voice in my head immediately told me it'd be an easy way to make Eddie jelous. But a more reasonable voice told me it wouldn't be fair to Luke.  
"Wow, you're quite forward, aren't you?" I asked him. He shrugged with a smile. Now I understood why he was kind of nervous at our table and even more right now.  
"So?" he asked. I sighed, trying to find a way to explain. Then a thought hit me.  
"Wait, why are you even asking me out? Based on what? You don't even know me!" I exclaimed. Luke smirked.  
"Yeah, that's pretty much true. But I want to know you. As mentioned, I saw you in the croud and couldn't help noticing how beautiful you are, and I knew I want to meet-"  
Okay, maybe that's what all the girls wanted to hear, but I just couldn't listen to it anymore.  
"So that's all you care about? The way I look? And then you excpect me to go out with you?" I asked outraged.  
"No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I know I look like it, but I'm not like that. I saw you blushing, and talking to your friends, and when you so adorably awkwardly danced with your friend, you had a, you know, a kind of energy around you," he said with a brooding look that made me think he was back in that moment when he was watching me. I wouldn't believe some guy just elaborating on some stuff he was making up, but Luke looked too honest, almost in his own world. I had to tell him the truth.  
I sighed. "Alright. Listen. I'm sorry, but I can't," I said. Luke bent his head.  
"Yeah, I thought so when you hesitated," he said with a sad smile. He was dissappointed, about to leave.  
"No, wait. Let me explain," I begged. "I like you. A lot. You're a really cute guy and an awesome person to talk to. I'm not trying to be nice. I bet you can get any girl you want. I just... You remember the guy I was dancing with?"  
"Yeah," he nodded with that smile back on. I think he figured out what I was talking about.  
"Well, we, um, kinda have a, hm, thing. Between us."  
Luke laughed. "Yeah, I should've thought when I saw you two dance. But when he didn't kiss you in the end, I thought you weren't together."  
What?  
"No, we aren't!" I exclaimed. "It's just... I like him. A lot. And I know he likes me too. All our friends know. We just can't get together. We're both too shy about this and... I don't know. I really hope it works out. I think it's about to happen. Just... It's so complicated. I really don't want to hurt you. That's why I'm saying no."  
Luke put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about me. And about him: if it's meant to be, it'll work out. If it doesn't happen, well... Then it can't be meant to be. But remember this: there's a difference between being shy and not seeing what's in front of you. If he can't appreciate you, even if it's not easy, you have to realize it and find someone who will. I dare say I'm such a guy. If he doesn't see what an amazing girl you are, he doesn't deserve you. But I'm still here. So if you change your mind..."  
I was about to thank him, but he left without saying goodbye. I thought it was weird. But he came back in a blink of an eye. He took a pen out of his pocket and wrote something on an old bill paper. Then he gave it to me.  
"Here, my phone number. Don't forget what I told you. And call me whenever if you change your mind. Good luck, princess," he said and left with that smile back on.  
I stared behind him with my mouth open, my gaze jumping up and down from his back to the paper he gave me. In the end I squeezed it in my hand and returned to my friends.  
"So?!" about half of them asked the moment they saw me. As hard as it was to keep track to everyone talking (they were still asking questions), I noticed Eddie didn't say a thing.  
"Well, if you want me to tell you, then shut up and let me speak!" I exclaimed with a smile. They really did quiet down.  
"Okay. Um, first I met him properly, then he guessed that I'm 'that Dragomir princess', and said he'd call me princess from now on, although I don't like that."  
"That makes him sound awfully annoying," Rose scoffed.  
"No, but he isn't, actually. He's easy to talk to. Well, then he, huh, he asked me out," I awkwardly finished. All eyes were suddenly on me, with all of them silent.  
Of course Angeline was the first one to respond. "OMG!" she exclaimed and jumped over the table hugging me. "That's so amazing! And you didn't even need to stuff your bra!"  
The table was bursting with questions again. I barely got them to calm down. It was just a super cute guy asking me out. What's the big deal?  
Okay, I had to admit I was freaking out too.  
"And what did you tell him?" Eddie asked. Right. The rest of them automatically thought I said yes. The question made them all look at me expectant.  
"I told him that..." I gave Eddie a meaningful look, "It wouldn't be fair. Because I already like someone else."  
Eddie swallowed and looked down.  
"You're really tourturing him, you know," Adrian mind-messaged me. I looked at him and he gave me a piercing look. It was weird to get a message, because he was still blocking himself from me. I couldn't feel him at all, like he wasn't there, so his voice in my head came out od nowhere.  
"You guys know there's an after party at the local disco, right?" he then asked with an unexpected change of subject. It was disturbing that something he said was unexpected to me.  
"How would you know that?" Lissa asked, making him smirk. "What, you think all I did last night was roast myself?"  
Most of us decided to go, except from Neil and Olive, who already had god know what kind of plans. Adrian and Sydney led us towards that disco like experts. I wondered if they've been in before.  
The disco was modern, with all those techno looking lights shining on the stage and DJ desks all around. It was also meant for concerts. I was surprised Smoking Blue didn't perform here. They could right now, but it mostly looked like after party meant they were gonna dance the night out. I saw Luke from the other side of the room, waving at me and calling "Hey, princess!" I waved back, but didn't say anything.  
I was going to just sit by the bar, drinking something until we left, but as the music sounded, my friends were at the dancefloor. Again.  
Without the bond I knew Adrian was, even as a married man, made for this. Married only meant he also dragged Sydney into it. She actually liked it. At some songs they were just swinging around in each other's arms, at others partying wildly.  
Trey and Angeline did similar, except that they were making out instead of the swinging. Christian and Lissa also got surprisingly caught up in the whole thing. Although, thinking back of the time Lissa spent with Avery Lazar, I could imagine her in surroundings like this. And I already knew how easy-going Christian was.  
Rose and Dimitri were also in element, and Eddie... Wow. He was the life of the party. And it looked good on him. It wasn't the kind of dancing everyone was doing, he was really good at it. He had amazing moves, the kind you see in MTV videos, and it looked like it all came from his head. He almost made me drool.  
Of course, I was just standing by the wall the whole time, my eyes on Eddie, probably looking all dreamy. From time to time I talked to Adrian, because there were closest to me and actually weren't making out.  
That is, until they started to. I decided to give them a break. It couldn't be pleasant to have the only single girl here on your back. My generousity left me no other way to spend time than to look at Eddie again. So I was there, bored, with nothing to do for at least an hour.  
"You should go to him, you know," I heard from the side. It was Adrian.  
"No, I can't! You know I can't dance! You saw me before!" I exclaimed.  
"So? Who cares? You were doing fine before. And he's good, he'll help you out," he replied.  
"Yeah, where did he learn that? And how come is he so into this? I've never seen him like this before," I told Adrian. He nodded and dragged me behind him. "Too loud here," he said as he led me to an empty room upstairs that probably served as a room for the get-a-room couples.  
"How much is there to explain?" I sighed, blinking at the sun that was comming trough a dusty window. Adrian shook his head.  
"Not much. I don't know much. But the first time I met Eddie, he was a lot like me. Well, the way I used to be. It was at that ski resort, where I also met Rose. One night there was a wild party, and Eddie was at the top, like right now. Except that that one was more... Hmm. However, we were all taking shots and dancing and it was obvious he was used to parties like that. Well, then I went back to the academy with them, but Eddie was never like that after that party. Until tonight."  
Wow, I never expected to hear something like that about Eddie.  
"But why did he change? I mean, I also noticed that he was more relaxed with me before, but in Palm Springs he became all serious," I said.  
"I know, right? I don't know what happened. But, look, if you got him to be like this, I bet you can get him to be with you too. Go take your chance while he's relaxed. He'll be happy," Adrian told me. I nodded.  
"You're right. I'll do it. Thanks," I said and gave him a quick hug.  
"Whenever, Jailbait," he said with a smile. "Good luck."  
I got myself together with a deep breath, flipped my hair back and went back down to do it.  
But the problem was that the Barbie gone bad was all over Eddie, dancing with him and... Looks like she forgot about her promise quickly.  
I was about to cry again. In the end I ran into the bathroom. I managed not to let the tears win over me. Angeline convinced me into wearing make up at last, and I couldn't screw that up.  
Angeline was also the one who knocked on the batroom door.  
"Jill, you gotta come out! Eddie told that girl to give him a break and sent her away! You gotta go to him!" she said loudly trough the door so that I could hear her. I opened up.  
"You're really all trying to set us up, aren't you?" I asked. "You don't know the half of it," Angeline smirked. "Now go!"  
I wasn't even nervous anymore.  
Eddie was still at the top, dancing in the middle of all those girls without seeing any. But he waved at me when he saw me comming closer.  
"Hey, party boy," I smiled. He chuckled. "Hey. Wanna join me? So that this party won't be so lonely?"  
I really did join him. I was actually dancing and doing pretty well. Eddie helped me and we were kind of good. A great team. I think he was holding back for me a bit, but he still looked like he was having fun.  
"Where did you learn to dance like this?" I asked him once in between. He gave me a fake pitying smile.  
"You have no idea what you missed leaving St. Vladimir's, do you?" he asked with a misterious smile.  
I had no idea what he was talking about, but who says I left forever? I didn't decide where to go yet. Thinking'd still take me a lot of time, and I already spent hours considering the decision. I just hoped wherever I'd decide to go, Eddie'd go with me.  
Well, I didn't know about the future, but we had tonight. As that song says, we might not get tomorrow. That's why Eddie and I had the night of our lives.

**I decided for a pretty finish today. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I love you all! Oh , please, if you review, let me know what you think of Luke. And everything else ;) I think the next chapter comes in a month, probably less, but I don't want to set too short of a date. However, I hope you enjoyed.**


	8. After Sun There's Always Rain

**Here I am again, with a new chapter. First of all – the story finally reached 20 reviews! YAY! You guys make me so happy with your support, so thank you everyone that's ever reviewed or favorited or followed. You mean the world to me, especially my constant reviewers ;) Really guys, thank you so much and please keep going.**

**Second of all, I know I told some people that I'd be posting the next chapter on March 8th and today's March – the story finally reached 20 reviews! YAY! You guys make me so happy with your support, so thank you everyone that's ever reviewed or favorited or followed. You mean the world to me, especially my constant reviewers ;) Really guys, thank you so much and please keep going.**

**Second of all, I know I told some people that I'd be posting the next chapter on March 8th and today's March 5th. But I posted today because it's my best friend's birthday. She's 15 now and she's Jill exactly. Also, she loves Eddie (obviously) and she's the reason I started writing this fanfic exactly of all the stories I have in my mind because she loves Jeddie so much. I dedicate this chapter to her, because, well, it's her birthday, I love her and I couldn't do this without her 3**

**And third of all, the usual **** I don't own anything, Richelle Mead does, there are major spoilers and I'm sorry for mistakes. Hope you enjoy!**

It was well above midnight when Eddie and I decided to head back to our room. What surprised me is that we were the only ones in our group left in the disco. Everyone else's already left. We didn't really care. I lost count of what our relationship was, but we were returning hand in hand, laughing the whole way.  
The sky was cloudy and the air was hot, almost a bit heavy. It looked like it was about to rain. Whatever. It was still easier to stand than the hot sun that was killing us before.  
I bumped into the room's door, being me, of course. Eddie caught the hold of my hand before I could fall. We both laughed and stumbled inside.  
We were acting like we're a bit drunk. We weren't, really. But tonight I learned that such a night itself can get you high.  
"Woohoo, this was a lot of fun!" Eddie cheered and threw himself on the couch.  
"Oh, yeah," I agreed. "Something I've never done before. But it was the best!"  
"I've done it before," he said with a faint smile, his gaze distanced. "But it's been a while. And unless I remember it wrong, it's better with you," he added.  
That made me smile too.  
Tonight we didn't even pretend we're going to bed. I threw myself on the couch and turned the TV on, and Eddie was next to me in no time. We didn't need much words to agree right now. There was this really cool movie channel we already watched last night, but while I was switching trough numbers, something on some sci-fi channel caught Eddie's attention. And it was nothing like the things that usually do.  
"Wow, Raptorbot Rampage?" he asked surprised and, well, almost kind of delighted. I gave him a curious look.  
"What's that?" I asked. Eddie flushed. "Ah, just some silly movie I once saw."  
Funny, his reaction first made it seem like it wasn't all that silly, but okay. I didn't like it that he was embarrased of something in front of me. Then again, it meant he cared about what I think.  
Whatever, this was no night to think.  
Eddie already switched the channel before I could say anything else and found another movie we both liked. Not that it really mattered. We mostly just talked. And laughed a lot. Everything was kind of making me laugh tonight. It was great being in such a good mood.  
Sometime early in the morning sleep won over me. Or so I suppose. Like the morning before, I woke up leaning on Eddie's chest. Except that we were on the couch this time.  
I realized what woke me up was the sound of rain hitting the window. No beach today, it looked.  
With a sigh I turned around, about to fall back asleep. But I accidentally elbowed Eddie, waking him up. I mean, I didn't hit him enough to hurt him, but with those reflexes of his, it was weird I've been waking up before him two days in a row. Maybe he had an easier time sleeping with me next to him?  
"Morning..." he muttered and stifted a yawn. I chuckled. "Hey. This is growing quite a tradition, huh?"  
Eddie frowned, still with a smile on his face. "What?"  
"Us waking up together," I replied. He nodded. His face reflected complete happiness I hadn't seen in a while. He was so... Calm. Well, actually, it wasn't a whild. He was taking the advice I gave him on the plane. With only a few occasional snaps to serious, he really did relax. It was great to see. The smile on his face was so big and genuine, I almost thought he was about to kiss me.  
He didn't. I wasn't as dissappointed as yesterday. Maybe it got me fooled around, but at least I learned I couldn't rely on that.  
However, I wondered how would he react now if I kissed him. After everything that's happened, did he still think we were better apart?  
"Hey, is it raining?" he asked and stepped towards the window, opening the curtains. It looked like I'd never find out.  
"I'm gonna go take a shower," I told Eddie, who still seemed to be fascinated with the rain, like he never saw it before.  
"Oh, yeah, sure," he replied, looking focused again. "And I'll be outside. I just... You know, Palm Springs. I don't remember the last time I saw rain."  
"Okay," I said with a smile on my lips I couldn't hide. I kind of got it. Sure, I couldn't spend as much time outside as him, because of the sun. And yet, I still noticed there wasn't all that much rain in the middle of a desert.  
Eddie gave me one of those real smiles of his, the ones that could make me swoon, giving me the feeling he was perfect, making me forget everything else in my life, every problem was gone, because Eddie was smiling, and he meant it.  
But the shower I mentioned, well, it didn't happen quite yet. Because Adrian called me up. I still didn't get used to the fact that I didn't excpect him.  
"Hey, Jailbait," he said.  
"Hey, what's up?" I asked him, watching my legs dangling from the edge of the bed.  
"I just have a question," he said with a cheerful voice. "You and Eddie, you know. What are you guys now? Because yesterday, you were so... Close. Did anything happen? Are you together?"  
I sighed. "I'd tell you if I knew." Adrian snorted.  
"How can you not know?"  
"I don't know. I just don't get anything anymore. I don't know what we are or what he thinks or wants or anything. I mean, I almost thought he'd kiss me two or three times in the last few hours, but he just told me how it means nothing yesterday morning after we slept together and-"  
"WHAT?!" Adrian exclaimed, and I sensed a wave of shock through the bond, but still nothing else. "YOU GUYS WHAT?! WHAT."  
I thought the phone line would burn out because of how loud Adrian was. He was never that shocked in the whole time since we'd met. I didn't realize what he was freaking out about immediately, but them it hit me how what I'd just said had sounded. Slept together. It looked wrong and it sounded wrong.  
"Oh, my... No! Not like that! You dirty mind, no! We didn't... We only slept together in the literal way! In the same bed! Seriously? Christian did the same thing!" I said, rolling my eyes. Hello? I was fifteen, and we weren't even dating.  
It was, however, a nice feeling that Christian kept the incident for himself.  
"Well, you're not exactly giving us the right impression," Adrian pointed out. I had to admit he was right.  
"So? What? Are you together or not?" he asked me.  
"I don't know. I don't think so, but we're probably not far from it."  
"A definete no, then?" he asked again, weirdly curious.  
"I guess, yeah. Why do you want to know anyway?"  
I heard a quiet, but known and definetly triumphant laugh in the back.  
"And why is Sydney laughing?" I added.  
"Umm... Because. I owe her ten bucks," he said hesitantly.  
"Why?"  
A long pause of something like shame followed.  
"We made a bet. I said you guys will get together before the morning comes and she said you're gonna need more time," he admitted at last, saying the last part with a high voice that I knew was supposed to tease Sydney, which made her laigh again. And even without the bond, I knew he was only hesitant because he lost. I couldn't even get myself to be mad, no matter how ridiculous what they did was. All I did was laugh out loud.  
"Seriously? Now you guys make bets about my love life?" I asked, still with a smile on my face. They actually made my day.  
"Sorry. I still think it's very tragical, if that helps," he said with the amused sorry expression on his face I could practically see, even when he was on the other side of the hotel.  
"I don't mind anyway," I told him. Then I started asking him ten thousand questions, because I just missed knowing what's going on in his life.  
Then I finally took that shower. Of course, I locked that door before, even if Eddie wasn't here. The last time was just too awkward. I got dressed when I was done. A few minutes later I heard the sound of several female voices laughing down the hall. Just out of curiosity, I opened the door and tilted my head through the narrow opening. Although there was no need to do that, because Rose, Lissa and Angeline were comming to me anyway.  
"Jill!" Angeline shouted down the door. Lissa continued: "Since the weather sucks today, I'm taking all the girls shopping. And by 'girls' I'm including my royal credit card, so leave your money at home. You comming?"  
I felt a smile form on my lips. The last time I'd had a good shopping trip seemed too far ago to remember it. And with what she was born into, I knew with no doubt that Lissa was an expert.  
"Of course I'm comming!" I exclaimed, almost giving them all a big hug.  
"Cool, take your stuff, we pick up Sydney and Olive and we go," said Rose. I took my phone and my purse, and texted Eddie I'd be gone before, so that he couldn't get too worried.  
The four of us walked down the hall with some kind of euphoria. I think in the weird way our lives were always turning, we all missed doing something ridiculous, girly and silly, something that didn't require much thinking. Something like shopping.  
First we picked Olive up. In the beginning she seemed a bit hesitant about it, since she didn't know us that well yet and since she was, you know, a guardian. But it's not like she had a charge here, and she was on vacation just as much as we were. So in the end, she came.  
Sydney, on the other hand, was a harder nut to crack. She still didn't completely get rid of the Alchemist way of thinking (although I'd never tell her, because she didn't even want to hear about them) and she thought all she was allowed to do were her duties. I also knew she didn't want to leave Adrian, even when he encouraged her to go have some fun. The fact that we entered the room while they were 'busy' didn't help. And...  
"Lissa, I really don't want to cause you more trouble. You can't spend that much of your money on me. Already, I made a mess with comming to the Court, I can't..." she said with guilt in her voice.  
"Since we're rolling in money," Adrian sarcastically reminded her. She grimaced.  
"Sydney, come on. You need this trip. When you came to Palm Springs, you didn't own a single pair of jeans. Your closet was pure khakis," I told her. She smiled at my words and after a few seconds of thinking nodded. "Okay, you're right. I'm comming."  
We all cheered and clapped, making her feel a bit awkward, but she laughed with us in the end.  
Lissa called us a cab. We waited for it in the hotel lobby. Otherwise, we would have walked downtown. But with the weather, that thought wasn't all that appealing.  
Eddie walked in just when we saw that cab arrive through the window.  
"Hey, where are you girls going?" he asked mostly me. I explained the whole thing. Which was hard. I couldn't help but notice he was all wet from the rain. He had raindrops on his eyelashes and his hair was sticked on his forehead, amking the most adorable effect ever when he was leaning down to look into my eyes. And most deadly of all, his white T-shirt was so wet you could see through it. It stuck to his body so tight his muscles were standing out. He went through his hair with his hand once in between to keep it away from his eyes while I was talking, making me lose my point. He's never looked that gorgeous before. Or was it just me?  
In the end I managed to explain, stuttering with my heart beating out of my chest. It took me five minutes, and there wasn't even much to say. Eddie of course added the "It's not safe!" notice, but I told him that Rose, Olive and Angeline were all guardians. Then Rose came and dragged me behind her.  
"I know, I know," I sighed outside. She smiled conspiatorially. "No, I totally get it. I was like that too. Guys are at their hottest when they're wet. But you'd stay there all day if I didn't take you here." I nodded with a snort and wringed my hair out, because we got to the cab in that time. The rain was turning into a storm, the raindrops hitting the roof were bigger and louder by minute. We barely made it into the first mall we visited without getting soaking wet.  
"Look!" said Rose and pointed at a display of bathing suits in front of a store. "First on the list: we need a bikini for Sydney."  
Sydney rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Adrian totally ordered you to say that," she said. Rose just shrugged, but didn't look very innocent in the matter.  
"You think I should buy one of those coconut bras? You know, to fit in better in the hotel?" I asked. Rose laughed.  
"Yeah, Eddie seems to like those, huh?" she teased. I blushed wildly. I was asking for it, I know.  
"He's not really like that," I muttered.  
"I know," Rose replied, suddenly looking thoughtful. "He never was. He liked to have fun, but when it came to girls, he always had some respect."  
That sounded a bit like what Adrian told me the other night. I wanted to know more. About Eddie. Not just out of curiousity, it's just that I knew he wouldn't tell me some things himself. But still, I wanted to know him, every detail about him. Because I loved him and every single thing fascinated me more.  
"What happened? Why did he get so serious?" I asked Rose. She looked around. Lissa was showing Sydney some bikini and Sydney was smiling. Then they picked a few things up and went towards the store's changing room. Rose sat into one of the chairs that were there for the people waiting and beckoned me to do the same. I joined her, crossing my legs and lwaning my chin against one of my hands. She made me nervous. She acted like a doctor that was about to tell me I have two moths of life left.  
"Do you know what went on in Spokane?" she asked me. I shrugged.  
"Well, yeah. I guess. Your friend Mason was killed. That's about it." Rose gave me a sad smile.  
"Okay, you deserve to know more. Mason was very into the idea of attacking Strigoi. So when he found out - because of me - that they're in Spokane, him, Eddie and Mia went hunting for them. The thing is that Mason had a crush on me. And I might have given him the wrong idea of what I felt. So, naturally, I felt guilty when they were out there, risking their lives because of me. It was far more complicated, even, but it doesn't matter if you want to hear about Eddie. So, Christian and I went to save them. Nothing happened yet when we got there, but then they caught us and..."  
Rose took a breath, avoiding my look.  
"However, Eddie was the one they took their blood from. And you know how it is, the endorphins made him all high. Then, when Mason was killed, he couldn't help him, which made him feel guilty. He immediately started to put everything, all his work into classes and protecting his future charge. He was still the guy from before inside, but much more serious - the way you know him now. An actual guardian. We both got more prepared for life that we did during our whole education, but the price was high," she finished with a distanced smile.  
Wow. That explained so much. Now I also knew what was up with him and the feeders. Why he was so terrified of them.  
"Thanks, Rose," I said and hugged her. "And I'm sorry if this was hard for you to talk about."  
"No problem, you deserved to know," Rose said with a smile, stroking her hand. Back to good old Rose.  
In that moment Sydney peeked through the dressing room's door.  
"Come out and let us see," Lissa ordered her. Sydney followed her words and leaned her hand in her hip like a model, making us all laugh. But it was terrifying to see how much re-education actually hurt her. The fact that you could still see her ribs after, what, a month and a half, was frankly just scary. What was it that they did to her?  
"It's definetly not what I'm used to," she slowly commented. But still, through everything, she looked great.  
"Take it," I told her. Others nodded at my words, making her smile. She obeyed us, also taking two other bikinis we'd advised her. The rest of us didn't take anything yet, unless if you count Lissa who paid.  
But I did try on a few things in the other stores. I liked many too. I just didn't decide to buy any, even when were already others walking around with full bags of clothes. Like she did with Sydney before (who in the end got the hang of the whole thing retty quickly), Lissa tried to convince me to buy at least something. "But I don't need anything. These things are gorgeous and I'm really gratedul for your offer, but I'm having a great time like this," I told her.  
Well, the girls weren't satisfied by that. First we went to a small nearby restaurant for lunch, then they 'took the matters into our own hands'. We were running out of time if we wanted to get back to the hotel by 4 pm, as Lissa promised our guys. Even without that, Eddie's already called me three times all worried.  
But, my friends used the half an hour we had left to get me something to buy. They took me to a store called Grace that I've never heard of before, but it really had amazing things. It still took me a while to pick out one that I liked.  
Angeline found it in the end. What won me over was probably the color. It was jade green, like my eyes, so it most likey complimented me more because of the match. It was a halter dress, with straps that tied up around my neck, comming from the middle of the upper hem. There was a big cutout on its back. The skirt was loose, reaching an inch above my knees. It was beautiful.  
And no matter what doubts I had about myself, I honestly looked great in it. That's what the girls said too.  
"That might just be the dress that'll win Eddie over," said Rose.  
"And I picked it out," said Angeline proudly.  
"Will you finally let me buy you this? Because it's a crime otherwise," said Lissa. I smiled.  
"Of course. I love it," I said.  
Then Rose and Lissa also found me some gorgeous stilettos and I had to take those too. But in the end I was happy with my purchase.  
We went back to the hotel then. It was still raining and Eddie wasn't in the room. I sent him a text saying that I'm back. He didn't respond immediately. Maybe he's enjoying the rain again, I thought with a smile. It didn't bother me anyway. I used the extra time to hide the dress. Maybe it was silly, but I didn't want him to see it until he saw it on me. Ever since Rose said what she said, I had my hopes... Pretty high.  
My phone buzzed with a text, making it fall of the corner of the table where I'd left it. I picked it up with a sigh. It was Sydney. The text said You guys gotta come check this out. I didn't know if she meant Eddie and me or if she sent the same text to more of us. But since he wasn't around, I went myself.  
I met Olive halfway to Sydney and Adrian's room. She told me she got the same text and the rest of the girls joined us on the way too. So it was a group text.  
And boy, I did not see what waited for us comming.  
All of our guys were sitting on Sydney and Adrian's couch with their gazes stuck on the TV screen. They were all so into whatever they were watching they barely even noticed us. It was almost unbelievable. I didn't immediately realize what they were watching until I recognised one of the lines in the movie.  
"Luke, I am your father."  
Yup. Star Wars.  
"Seriously?" Rose exclaimed and spoke everyone's mind.  
I didn't know what part they were watching, but I stayed until the end. I had nothing better to do. Then Eddie and I went back to our room.  
"How come did you watch the movie in their room?" I asked him by the way. He looked at me like I was wasting his time.  
"It's the only one that has a DVD player."  
I laughed. But he stayed quiet and kept looking me from the side.  
"What?" I asked chuckling.  
"Do you think it's silly? Star Wars?" he asked kind of nervous. I laughed.  
"Didn't you think sewing club was silly?"  
He looked at me surprised. "No, I didn't. You got to work as a model! But that sci-fi stuff is kinda stupid, huh?"  
"No, it's cool. I've never watched it before. We should watch it together sometime."  
He smiled. "We really should."  
Then, in the room, we didn't know quite what to do immediately. Until Eddie dug a chess board out of somewhere. It was the hotel's property, obviously because the pawns were coconut shaped. The theme was getting old.  
Since I've also never played chess before, he taught me that too. He told me he used to play with his grandma. He grew up in a dhampir commune. I knew people sometimes had bad opinions about them, but somehow I never did. And so, we ended up playing chess. It was surprising lot of fun.  
Then, after a while, Eddie said he'd go pick us up some snack down in the restaurant, because he was hungry. I was too. But while waiting for him to come back something funny happened.  
I got sucked into Adrian's head. He was breathing deeply. Sydney was lying in front of him with only her underwear on. I sighed. At least they had something to do. Looks like he let go of the blocade because of the powerful emotions. He probably just forgot. It was better for both of us anyway.  
But I was suddenly terribly afraid that I won't be able to get out of his head for a while. I was suck already.  
"Hey, where did you really learned how to dance like that? You know, the sixties thing in the restaurant last night?" Sydney asked after a long kiss. They were both catching their breath. Adrian smiled. "My mom signed me into a dance class when I was ten," he replied. Sydney laughed.  
"So you do remember other things than what I say," she said. That's what he once told her when she asked how can he suck at college, but quote almost every single word she ever told him.  
"I used to," Adrian sighed. He didn't have to say anything else. Sydney and I both knew he was talking about his father and the way he used to treat him. Because nothing was ever good enough for him, Adrian gave up on school and, well, everything.  
Sydney winced. "I'm sorry," she said with a worried look. But Adrian cheered up in a second. He completely left his father behind him a long time ago.  
"It's okay. Now tell me where did you learn to dance like that," he said.  
"I didn't have much to do back in New Orleans when I worked there," she smirked.  
"Of course! And you rather learned than go look for cute boys," Adrian teased.  
"Sure you'd like better if I found someone else so there'd be no us," she returned.  
"We really are meant to be," he laughed. She pulled his head closer and kissed him passionately. He started to pull her bra off.  
In that moment I dimly realized Eddie ceme back with lunch. I only heard the door close, I didn't see him because my eyes were still watching Sydney and Adrian.  
Suddenly I had enough of them making out. It was turning into more and I didn't want to see it again. My head started pounding and I just wanted them to go away. I wasn't ready for this, it was my life and I'd seen enough of this for a lifetime. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to get out!  
"Eddie, do something! Make it stop! I don't want to see this again! Do whatever! I'm sick of it!" I screamed. I got out of Adrian's head, now seeing Eddie clearly, but suddenly even his burning emotions running into me were too much. Like they were going to crush my insides because of the power they had.  
I saw fear reflecting in Eddie's eyes. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked with panic in his voice.  
"I don't know! I don't care! Jut make it stop!" I shrieked.  
For a moment he seemed confused, but then his eyes filled with fierceness I've only seen on him when he was protecting me in the attack where I died. That was him when he knew exactly what he was doing.  
Well, this time he steped towards me and pulled my head closer the same way Sydney did to Adrian before.  
My heart went crazy, making the world dissappear just becausw of the tension in the room and the look in his eyes.  
Then he kissed me.  
Yup. Eddie kissed ME. It was worth waiting. It was the best moment of my life. Better than both of the kisses we shared before, because I knew he had no hurry, no rush, no intention to stop. It was just the two of us. He completey relaxed and only focused on the kissing. It really was much better than when I kissed him.  
Maybe also because... well... it was a bit more than just kissing.  
His hands slipped down from my back with that same burning touch I still remembered. I lived for those hands around me.  
I wraped my legs around his warm body that made my heartbeat so fast and loud I was sure he heard it. The kiss only grew deeper. I was leaning on the wall, and he was leaning on me, still wrapped around him. We stopped in between to catch our breaths, but there was no rest with looking into his eyes anyway. I didn't need it, though. All I needed to know was in his eyes: he wanted me.  
We kissed again, and he kept pressing me closer and closer. Then we somehow both fell on the couch, I was lying on him with his hands all over me. We were still kissing and a bit more...  
Then I heard Angeline's voice. "Oh, my God!" she shrieked.  
I jumped off of Eddie and stood up quickly. He casually straighened up and put what was supposed to be an innocent smile on his face, but it was too late. She already saw us.  
"I'm so sorry, you guys, I'm leaving right now," she apologized and left. Not, of course, before she she showed me a thumbs up. I'd laugh if the situation was any different.  
Eddie was staring at the floor when I looked back at him.  
"Hey," I started. He looked at me. A bunch of words bursted out of my mouth: "Eddie, I can't do this anymore! I love you so much, and I know and see you love me too! Let's just... Be together!"  
He shook his head fiercly. "No, we can't!"  
"Why not? Tell me, once and for all, why the heck not?" I exclaimed. I kind of knew what the answer would be, but after the kiss and everything that's happened, I couldn't help but hope. It was time to clear this up.  
"Jill, face it! It's not meant to be! It doesn't even have a point! Just give it up!" he said with a desperat expression. I still didn't know what was the actual reason.  
"Maybe you're right and there's a slight chance it's not meant to be. But if we want it now, why not enjoy it? Why should we worry about the future? We have to live our lives now!" I told him, maybe a bit too enthusiastic.  
"You. You go ahead and live your life. It can't happen because my life is my job. And my job is protecting you. I love you and that's why I'd never give it up."  
Really? This again?  
"Then you're fired! I'd rather die than let someone - especially you - lose his life because of me!" I exclaimed  
"I'm not gonna die..."  
"I didn't say die. I said lose your life. Giving it up. For me. I don't want that. You're half of my life anyway. Think of it like that. It's still your choice, but..."  
I begged him with my eyes. Looking desperat didn't even matter anymore. I loved him, and I wanted him mine.  
"Well, what am I suppose to be? How am I suppose to choose what to be?" he asked with a sad voice that broke my heart. I was in the mood for an inspirational speech.  
"Many people have been in front of the same decision and many of them have asked that same question. But the answer is always the same: be what you want to be. Choose what your heart wants. Because you're needed in both places. So why not choose the one you'll enjoy? And one more thing. Most of those people couldn't be in both of those places at the same time. But you can. Just don't be afraid. And because it happened once is a reason itself that it won't happen again."  
He bit his lip.  
"No, that's not true. Remember when you kissed me in LA? Just imagine if a bunch of Strigoi came out of nowhere while we were-"  
Why was hw being so ridiculous?  
"Imagine you stop imagining and start living already! Strigoi don't come in bunches. And if they did, do you think you, plus a guardian who was bitten, a not-quite-as guardian dhampir girl, a trained human with a sword, a human magic user and a water using Moroi could defeat them?" I asked. He sighed.  
"No."  
"Exactly. At least you'd die knowing how it feels. The kiss."  
And yet, he still didn't want to give it up. Why wouldn't he just say it already?  
"But what if a single Strigoi attacks us while-"  
"Eddie, come on. You have eyes on your back. And Rose said she could feel Strigoi while she was shadow-kissed. I could too. And you fight the same in love or not, because it's something you just... do. And you're already in love, whether you want it or not. There won't be a difference in your skill if you love quietly or out loud. Now, why don't you tell me what the real reason is?" I asked, trying to look annoyed, but I was really, really wanting him to tell me already.  
"Alright, fine. I would feel guilty if something happened to you. Don't think I wouldn't. But, I wouldn't be able to live without you anyway. Honestly, I think I'd kill myself. But I know about the living in the moment thing. You're right. I just... I'm not you. I'm not like you. I'm not strong. What I am, Jill, is just a guardian. And you... You're a princess. I can't stand it, the people, the judging, the pressure. I felt bad enough already after Mason's death. Like everyone was watching and blaming me. It's too much pressure for me. You, you are so brave and you don't care what they say. But me... As much as I love you, it breaks me every single time, because they already judge me. I grew up in the judging. I can't take it."  
Oh, my God, and all this time, I was blaming him for holding back because of his job, when really, he was just insecure...  
"I... Eddie, I..." I stuttered, suddenly feeling so ashamed.  
But I could help him with that! We could defeat it, if he wanted to...  
"And it's not just that. Don't you think I want you? I know you want it, and I want it too. But we can't! It doesn't matter if I want it or not! It never matters what I want! You're a princess and I'm just your guardian! You deserve a prince! Just be happy! I'm not worth you!" he yelled.  
I stared at him. He barely ever yelled at me before. He never told me he felt this way before. He didn't think he was worth me? I thought it was just his job that was in the way... Then I thought he was just insecure. But he actually believed everything that people thought?  
I couldn't think of anything to say.  
"I... I'm gonna be in front of the room," he said quietly.  
I kind of wished he'd slamm the door and ahow me some feelings, but he didn't. I knew he was going to sit on the floor with his head leaning on his hands, trying to figure out what just happened. Then he was going to realize he was supposed to protect me, so he was going crash his head into the wall like I'd seen him do before, until he'd get me out of his mind and focus.  
As for me...  
I stared into the door he closed behind him for a while, then felt the tears starting to form in my eyes.  
I ran into the bathroom, turned the water on as much as I could so he wouldn't hear me crying, and when it didn't help, pushed my fist into my mouth to quiet down the sobbing.  
It slowly all went to just silent weeping. I could think straight again, a bit over the dissaster that's just happened. So this was the end of me and Eddie. We couldn't go back after this, I knew it.  
There was one logical decision I could make about the future right now, if he wasn't in it the way I'd hoped.  
I was going back to St. Vladimir's Academy.  
Without Eddie.

**This is the scene I built the whole story around, basically. So yeah, some of you requested more kisses, there you go. I don't know when the next chapter's comming up, but probably still this month. I hope. Please, tell me what you think!**


	9. To Get Over a Boy

**New chapter's here! And it's a long one! I'm sorry for leaving you with an ending like that, this might help… Or not. Thank you for the new reviews! Please, keep reviewing, I'm one review to 25 right now and that would really mean so much! Of course, Richelle Mead owns everything, and there are spoilers for sure. I'm sorry about the mistakes. And I hope you enjoy!**

God knows how long I was there. I was just sitting on the bathroom floor, hugging my knees, feeling nothing and everything. The tiles under me were cold like ice, but I didn't really mind it. They were a welcome change from my swollen red face that was burning from the tears. Although I could eventually turn the water off because I managed to stay quiet, the tears didn't want to stop.  
My future suddenly didn't seem one bit promising. All the options that were opened before have now narrowed down to one: St. Vladimir's. And as promising as that alternative sounded before, I just didn't know if I still wanted it without him.  
Eddie.  
He was the only thing on my mind all this time. I knew we weren't all that far apart, but it felt like miles. At least between our souls. His mind was also on me, I knew it. How could he do this?  
My throat zipped up again and I moaned trying not to sob out loud, my voice kind of squeeking. The tears were comming more wildly with every second. I collapsed on the floor shaking. With the cold soothing the heat on my face, I hoped it'd stop.  
Once again, Adrian was the one to save me.  
He still didn't realize he turned the bond back on, and I knew when I'd tell him he'd feel guilty. But still, I felt him comming. As usually, we were supposed to meet for dinner, so he decided to make sure everything was okay when neither Eddie nor I showed up.  
I'd locked the room's door before to stop people from seeing me in this pathetc shape. Now, sensing Adrian, I unlocked it. I wouldn't get rid of him anyway, and I didn't really want to. I needed to talk to him. I still didn't completely realize what had happened and Adrian always got me.  
So, when Adrian reached Eddie, he was doing exactly what I guessed he would. He was sitting on the floor, leaning on the wall with his face dug into his hands, trying to work the whole thing out.  
"Jeez, she kicked you out? What did you do?" Adrian exclaimed. Eddie looked up with a face so miserable it brought the tears back to my eyes.  
"I kicked myself out," he replied numbly. Adrian nodded slowly. While I got a mind message saying "What did you do to him?"  
"But the door unlocked two minutes ago, so I guess that means you can go in," Eddie continued.  
"Thanks," Adrian said and walked in. I deliberately waited comming out of the bathroom until he closed the door.  
Adrian was always good in unexpected or awkward situations, but his jaw dropped when he saw my face.  
"Okay, I have a strong feeling I missed something huge," he said. I nodded, feeling the tears again. It was surprising how much that happened lately. "Oh, Jailbait," he sighed and hugged me.  
We both sat on the couch and I leaned on him like the first night we were here, except that I was still fighting tears. Adrian didn't say anything, because, well, in my current state, it was impossible to reply. The cries were shaking my whole body and frankly, I don't think I'd ever shed tears as badly before. I dug my face into his shirt and sobbed out loud, not even caring that Eddie would hear me anymore. Adrian held me in place, that alone making me feel better. I had to let it all out.  
It took a while, but I calmed down eventually.  
Adrian gave me a piercing look. "What happened?" he asked simply. "And don't pretend it doesn't have to do with Eddie," he added.  
I smiled with a sniff. It was weird Like I could still feel Eddie's kiss on my lips, every place he touched was still burning. After making such a scene, I knew I can't avoid telling Adrian what happened. But I could still try. It wasn't for the lack of trust, it was the fact that I couldn't stand him feeling guilty about it. He wasn't, but he wouldn't believe it.  
"It doesn't matter," I replied.  
"You made it kind of obvious that it does," he told me. We actually started to fight about wheter it matters or not.  
"Why do you even want to know so much?" I asked in the end. It took him a second to answer.  
"Because you always helped me. I want to do anything I can to do the same. You saved my life more times than I saved yours. Remember how many times we went over and over everything that's happened with Sydney? And I love you. I care about you. And Eddie. Also, I'm pretty sure you're blaming yourself for something that's not even your fault. And, of course, I'm curious."  
I sighed. I had to tell someone anyway. And he was right. He could help me better than anyone else.  
"Okay, fine. But just... Listen for now," I told him. He nodded.  
"Here's the thing."  
I sighed, feeling chills when I thought of it all over again.  
"I, um... We were in the room. He went to pick us up some snacks... That are still here, actually," I realized. "So if you're hungry..."  
Adrian shook his head pationatelly and I continued: "While Eddie was gone, you let go of the bond blockade." His eyes widened and I felt he realized it was true, but he didn't say anything.  
"What happened was you were making out with Sydney, and you forgot. Which is completely understandable. But I suddenly, with no reason whatsoever, couldn't take it anymore. So I freaked out-"  
"Jill, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" he started, feeling as guilty as I knew he would. He thought he'd falied again. Exactly what I didn't want to happen happened.  
"Shut up, it's not your fault and this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you," I said.  
"But look, I let go and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry," he said with a sad look in his green eyes.  
"Stop apologizing, I'm talking," I told him. He gave me a small smile and left the word to me. I was about to continue, but then I felt he closed the bond again.  
"No, don't do that. It doesn't help either of us," I said gently. Adrian shook his head. "Jill, I can't let you take the effects. What do you think this was, when you couldn't take it anymore, if not spirit? The moment I let go, you started to take it over."  
"But there'd be nothing to take over if you just let go. It's too risky, you damage yourself too much by constantly using this amount. You haven't used spirit ever since you got to Court, except in small amounts. You can hold it back, and we'll both be okay. And I need you in my life. I missed you when you held yourself away," I told him, begging him with my eyes. All I was thinking was that I couldn't let him do that. The funny part was that he was thinking the same thing about me.  
"But didn't you say you couldn't take it?" he asked me. I sighed.  
"That was just a second. Adrian, please."  
He nodded. "You may continue," he told me and let go off the barrier in in his mind.  
"Alright. Well, I started screaming that I can't take it anymore and that I want it to stop..."  
Adrian opened his mouth to apologize again, but bit his lip right away.  
"...Of course he didn't know what to do right away. But then... He kissed me. HE kissed ME. And it was magnificent. Like with you and Sydney. It was even a bit more than just kissing. It was the best moment of my life..."  
I got lost in reliving that moment for a second, with Adrian giving me a knowing look. Until I remembered what followed.  
"Then Angeline walked in. And... I think he realized what he's done. Well, I told him I just want to... You know... Be with him. Then he gave me a bunch of ridiculous reasons why that's the worst idea ever. And I told him why it's not. I mean, come on! We love each other! So he had to tell me the complete truth. First he told me how he can't tske the judging and what the people would think... And then, when I was already feeling all sorry for him, he said he believed all that stuff too. That we can't be together because I'm a princess and he's a guardian. Isn't that the biggest nonsense ever? I mean, it's not true! Maybe some people would stare in the beginning, but it's not like no one's ever seen it before! The problem is, he thinks he's not worth me and I should live happily ever after with some prince or something... He practically dumped me from a relationship that never happened," I cried. Adrian wrapped his arm around me with a sigh. I leaned my head on his shoulder.  
"You know why this is shit?" he asked. I looked at him. "Cause I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear that he's a jerk and not worth you. We both know that's not true. Just... He doesn't. Fuck, I don't know what to say. You guys are getting your moment. Definetly. He just needs to see it. On his own. And if I know him as much as I think, he will sooner or later. Look, Jill, I promise, eventually, he will change his mind. He just needs to realize already," he sighed impationately. Yeah, I wanted that too, but it wasn't reality.  
"How can you promise something you don't even know?" I asked.  
"What if I do know?" he returned misteriously.  
"You can't know. I know everything you know. You don't know," I replied. That was definetly something I'd bother finding in his mind. I knew everything Eddie ever told him.  
"Yes, I do. You're in the exact same situation I was in with Sydney. And look at us now, we're married," he smirked. I smiled. They were just lucky, even if it was hard to believe after everything they'd been through.  
"Yes, but... Just because it happened once, it doesn't mean it has to happen again. Life's not always the same, you know. And with you guys, and with others, like Rose and Dimitri, there was this impossible love with barriers you guys could barely defeat, and with us... There's nothing forbidden. He's the only thing holding us back."  
"I know. But he loves you. No one can resist that for so long. He'll let it go," he said gently. But I didn't buy that any more.  
"I don't think he will. I don't even think he loves me," I almost whispered. Adrian gave me a look that was letting me know I'm being ridiculous.  
"Of course he does! He's just afraid of loving you!" he exclaimed.  
"So? What's the difference between not loving me and being afraid of love? Either way, we won't be together. Not everything ends with happily ever after," I sighed and leaned on him again. He gave me a sad smile, neither of us saying anything for a while.  
"What are you going to do?" Adrian asked at last. I closed my eyes and exhaled. Yeah, I had one more not so pleasant thing to tell him.  
"I'm going to try to get over him. I'm going back to St. Vladimir's. Without him."  
Adrian stared at me, eyes wide open, face pale. His mind was... Empty. For a second, I thought he got a heart attack.  
"You can't do that!" he exclaimed at last. "You can't leave me! How am I supposed to survive without you?" A faint smile crossed my lips.  
"What else do you expect me to do? I can't stay around him, you know it. I can't stay at Court and ask him to move away so that I can get over him. I need some time away from him to get over it succesfully. Remember how Palm Springs helped you with Rose?" I asked. He shook his head with a smile.  
"Jailbait, when it's real, you don't get over it."  
"It's my choice! I'm going!" I exclaimed. He sighed.  
"Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I mean, we still have the whoke summer."  
He was right. I was going to miss all of them so much! I had to take advantage of this summer.  
But Adrian just told me I wouldn't be able to get over Eddie. Was that true? I had to get over it if it wasn't happening! I couldn't just cry about him for the rest of my life. I didn't want to. Wait...  
"If it doesn't happen, it can't be meant to be," I said. Wow, was I really quoting Luke?  
Luke!  
"I know what I'm gonna do!" I exclaimed eagerly. Adrian gave me a curious look.  
"I'm gonna go ut with Luke!"  
A tornado of thoughts hit me. Adrian's thoughts, to be precise. Ever since the Rose incident happened, he was strongly against being with someone you don't love. Suddenly, he saw himself and his own mistakes in Luke. He was about to tell me not to do it, to wait for Eddie, because he didn't want anyone to go through what he had to. I didn't want to do that to Luke either, because I felt everything Adrian felt back then too. That's why I said no in the first place. But now, Eddie wasn't happening. Ever.  
"Jill, be careful. Don't break Luke's heart," Adrian told me. I smiled.  
"I won't. Eddie and I aren't going to get together anyway, so. And I'll let Luke know it's just a one time thing. We live the whole country apart anyway. I won't give the wrong impression. And besides, I already told him about Eddie. So he knows I can't be all that over him the next day. I can't just sit and wait until the rest of my life, can I?" I asked, not really sounding all that convincing.  
"I know, you're right," he sighed. "I still don't think it's a very good idea, but as you said. Your choice. I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I'm just... Ugh, I'm really gonna miss you, you know."  
I hugged him, which came out a bit more awkward than intended, since we were still sitting next to each other. Oh, well. We've reached the point where we didn't care a long time ago.  
"I'm gonna miss you too," I whispered and pressed myself closer to him.  
A knock on the door interrupted our bromance hugging. "It's open!" I called. I still didn't want to face Eddie.  
The visitor turned out to be Sydney.  
"I, um, brought you guys some dinner," she said insecurely, making it sound like a question.  
"Thanks," I replied. Adrian smiled, which was a surprisingly calm thing to do, since he was a second away from getting up and kissing her. I hoped everyone wouldn't hold their lovelife back because of me.  
"And we still have the snack," he added. "We better start eating."  
Sydney also brought something to Eddie. He still refused to come in. I still refused to face him.  
I wasn't really hungry, after everything that's happened, but I still managed to eat something. Then Adrian and Sydney both left and I took my phone to call Luke up.  
It didn't happen immediately, though. Because I got pulled into Adrian's mind again. This time, it was by his command.  
Eddie stopped him when he left my room, asking him if he can pass him a 'message' for me. I knew, Adrian knew, Sydney knew and Eddie knew that he was counting on the bond.  
"So, could you please tell Jill," Eddie repeated (the first time he said it Adrian pulled me into his head) and sighed, trying to put himself together, "That I'm really sorry about what happened earlier." He looked into Adrian's eyes and reached right into my soul. His look was telling me he's telling pure truth and he spoke with a broken voice.  
"I didn't mean to hurt her or upset her in any way. I just... She asked and I told her the truth. I really do love her and I want to be with her, but it just can't happen. I can't let it happen, I can't take it. I'm not strong enough. Hell, I'm not even strong enough to tell her this myself, and I'm sorry for that too. I can't face her... But tell her I wish things could be as normal between us as possible," he said and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them back, all the broken feelings from before were gone and he looked all guardian-like again.  
"I'll let her know," Adrian said warmly without a single message through the bond.  
Since my phone was still in my hands, I texted him my answer to this touching speach Eddie gave: Tell him a few words can't fix a broken heart and that he could at least try if he really wanted to. And that after doing what he did, he has no right to be all adorable on me. I'm still going out with Luke. But I agree with the 'friends' thing. I have to get over it.  
Adrian replied with a mental sigh.  
Since I was still going out with Luke, I had to call him for it. I took my phone back to type his number. But first, I had to work through where I'd put it. The last time I remembered having it in my hands was when I squeezed it and went back to our table to get hit by a splash of questions. Where did I put it then? My dress didn't have any pockets or anything. Knowing myself, I probably left it on the table.  
I sighed. If anyone kept an eye on it, it was Angeline. So I called her up. Soon I learned I knew her too, obviously.  
"Um, yeah, you left it on the table when we went to the after party. So I took it. Sorry, but I just couldn't leave his phone number there, okay!" she exclaimed, making me laugh.  
"It's okay. The fact that you apologized is a sign of how much progress you've made," I scoffed. It was hilarious, the fangirl we'd turned a country savage into. And yet, she was still, um... Tough. Feisty. "And I'm glad you took it, because I need it now," I said hesitatingly. I was aware of the reaction I'd make.  
"Oh, my God are you finally going out with him!?" Angeline shrieked so loud I almost dropped my phone.  
"Yeah, actually," I replied. I was blushing (when wasn't I blushing), even knowing she can't see me.  
"Okay, I'll be right there!" she exclaimed, shrieked again and cancled the call.  
She really was right there. But she didn't give me the paper until I explained the short version of why Eddie's in the front of the room and until I heard all of the instructions about what do I say to Luke. Then she passed me the number, acting like a drug dealer. She even told me to keep an eye on it from now on.  
I saved the number into my contacts the moment she left, but I just couldn't get myself to dial it. There was no reason to be nervous, but somehow, I still was. What if Luke changed his mind? What if Eddie'll change his mind? What if I really do break Luke's heart?  
Well, there always were risks in life, I thought. And besides, Luke knew my situation, and we'd be leaving in three days. And as hard as that was to admit, I knew Eddie wouldn't change his mind.  
So finally, I exhaled and clicked the 'call' key. At first I thought he wouldn't even answer, because it rang empty for a while, but then Luke answered, all out of breath.  
"Hey, it's me. Jill," I said, feeling kind of insecure again.  
"Oh, hey, princess. What's up?"  
I took a deep breath, trying to relax. It was just Luke! I met him the night before, and felt the first moment I could talk about nothing forever with him. And anyway, I was on the phone with him already. I couldn't just hang up.  
"So, remember that date you mentioned?" I asked and paused to let him answer. The silence on the other side was probably a sign of agreement.  
"I changed my mind. I really think we should go," I said. A bit more of that silence followed.  
"Oh, great!" he exclaimed the second I was about to ask if he's still there. "Yeah, we really should. You know, princess, I knew you'd change your mind. They always do. But I didn't expect it that fast. What gives?"  
I laughed.  
"Well, I realized you were right yesterday. Eddie and I aren't very likely to happen. So, I should just live right now. And as I said, you seem to be an amazing guy and if you're willing to go out with me, why not?"  
Luke snorted.  
"And what led you to that realization?" he asked. Too bad it was none of his bussiness for now. And a depressing topic to talk about.  
"It doesn't matter. It's a long story," I told him.  
"Okay then, you'll tell me tomorrow. I'll pick you up at eight?" he said, making it sound like a question. Since I didn't have any plans for the next day, and even if I did, I'd have to change them because of the awkwardness that might happen with Eddie, I agreed.  
When the phone call was over, I texted Angeline about the arrangments I made, because I knew she'd want to know anything related to Luke.  
Then, after she'd banged my phone with about 5 thousand texts, I showered and was about to go to sleep. But as I wrapped myself into the covers, Eddie's empty bed next to mine looked wrong. He couldn't just sleep outside, that would be mean...  
I sighed and got up from the comfortable shelter I already made, walked off to the door and peeked my head through it. Eddie's brown eyes with a troubled look met mine. He didn't expect me, I could tell.  
"You're not really going to sleep outside, are you?" I asked him. He shrugged.  
"I was about to, actually, why?" he replied, making me realize I missed his voice the whole four hours I hadn't heard it.  
"You can't. That would be ridiculous. Come back inside."  
He followed me, his lips twitching in the about-to-smile mood. I climbed back into my bed and pulled the cover over my head while he was in the shower. Then he told me goodnight, but I pretended I'm asleep already. Because I couldn't reply without starting to cry again. It was clear we wouldn't stay up all night again talking. Or that I wouldn't wake up in his arms the next morning. The fact that everything changed this much in one day was choking me. I fell asleep in tears.  
The next morning I woke up to an empty room. He'd already left God knows where. That brought a flashback of yesterday's events. I smiled, thinking of the kiss, then moaned when I remembered what'd followed.  
No, no depressing thoughts. Not today. I had to get ready for the date and look great on it. I had to get over him.  
I got up and put some clothes on, then left for brealfast, feeling like a zombie. I might have sat next to Eddie only minutes after our second kiss, but this time I didn't even dare to look at him. Most of the day was again spent at the beach, except that I wasn't really feeling it this time. I was just mostly craving for shots of vodka, because I knew from experience (althought not mine) that it was a good way to forget. The worst part was that everyone knew something had happened, and they all pitied me. They weren't to blame, but still. As if I didn't feel lame enough.  
In the end I left back to the room early. I had to get ready anyway, and I knew my friends'd be back in time I'd need their help.  
I wore the jade green halter dress I bought yesterday, also known as 'the dress that'll win Eddie over'. Or was supposed to.  
It still hugged me just as tightly and smoothly as the day before and I felt beautiful in it. I just hoped I'd wear it on a different opportunity.  
The next half an hour was spent in front of the mirror, while I was trying to work through whether the dress is too excessive. I decided it wasn't, it was actually perfect for this and loads of other opportunities, and it's not like I had something else to wear. The shoes I went with were the stilettos, because - although that wasn't very often with human guys - Luke was much taller than me. Then I also tried to put some make up on, the way that would be natural, but still nice, like I made some effort with it and not just threw something on.  
It would, however, probably be helpful if I had any idea about make up whatsoever.  
The whole thing took me quite a while, during which I went through the phases of a clown, a racoon and Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Then I washed my whole face and decided to let the experts help me.  
Speaking of which, I called Adrian up. From the bond I knew he was back already from the beach with the rest of the crew.  
"Listen, I have a small favor to ask you," I said. He waited for me to go on, so I continued: "Remember all the times you asked me if you can help me with my hair so it won't look that horrible?"  
He bursted out laughing, but just for a second. He held back for my sake, although I could feel he was still tourturing. "Yeah?"  
"Well, you can do that now," I told him.  
"For the date? You sure you don't like that guy?" he asked, still smiling despite himself. My silence was a clear enough of an answer. I also gave an eyeroll, which he couldn't see.  
"Okay, I'm comming," he said and cancled the call. Two minutes later he was at my door with a full lap of hairstyling products. Especially the ten bottles of hairgel stood out. And I was never able to work through why he needed a curling iron. But so what, it still made me laugh.  
"No mocking, Jailbait, this is serious bussiness," he told me with suspiciously twitching lip corners. I still laughed, even though he was probably right. My hair was a horrible mess for as long as I could remember, and if he was able to make it work, then take a bow.  
He sat me down on a chair and told me to get comfortable, because I'd be there for a while. Which wasn't easy, because the palm leaf seat had kind of a stringy effect on my butt.  
What Adrian started with felt like he was just stroking my hair. It turned out it was actually more hurtful for the comb than me, because, well, it broke. We both laughed at that.  
"Okay, let's try with the brush," Adrian commented. That was slightly progressing, because I felt brief tugs while he was brushing my hair. But we still needed to use a conditioner, a straightener and a blow dryer before anything else could be done.  
The final result was a gorgeous side-swept messy braid. I couldn't hide a smile as Adrian passed me the mirror and I saw the reflection.  
"Thanks," I said. "I look amazing."  
Adrian smiled. "You really do. And Eddie's stupid if he can't see it," he said. I sighed, thinking of him.  
"Where is he anyway?"  
Adrian shrugged. "I don't know, he came back with the rest of us, then I lost track."  
"I hope he's not comming here. I just can't..."  
He put his hand on my shoulder and stroke it gently.  
"Well, then we'll probably have to stop talking about him, huh?" he chuckled.  
"We're like two gossiping old ladies!" I exclaimed, making us both burst out laughing. Then I looked back at the mirror, admiringly gazing at the masterpiece he'd created out of an impossible material.  
"But I had no idea you were that good at this. From now on you're my official hair stylist."  
He grinned. "Thanks, I kinda miss dealing with hair." He wasn't wearing hair gel ever since Sydney was taken. Well, barely ever. It was weird to get used to it for both of us. "And I had no idea too," he continued. "I just... Threw something together. It's my artistic streak working. This might fall apart in two minutes."  
"By the amout of hair spray you put on, I don't think so," I laughed. "Hey, you don't happen to know anything about make up, do you?" I asked. He shook his head with a smirk.  
"Sorry, my skill ends here. But find me for Halloween of you need a skeleton on your cheek. If you want make up done proffesionally, call Lissa and Rose."  
I nodded. "Yeah, I was about to anyway. Thanks."  
I called them up as soon as he left. And Angeline too. This wouldn't he happening without her, and I knew she'd want to be a part of this. Although that still didn't mean I took any of her fashion or, God help me, behaviour advice.  
"The dress that'll win Eddie over?" Rose exclaimed with a sad voice without even saying hello. She threw herself on Eddie'y bed and studied me carefully.  
"I think we both know it won't," I replied just as miserably.  
"What I think is that it will if you let him see you today. You look amazing! What did you do with your hair?" Lissa asked cheerfully. I dropped my gaze blushing and touched the braid gently with a smile.  
"Thanks. The hair was actually Adrian's part," I said, making Rose smirk.  
"Well, who would've thought. Lissa's right, you look fantastic," she said.  
That's when they started with the make up part. The consequences of having the bond for years were still visible. Rose and Lissa were in perfect harmony, passing each other things like they're reading minds. I could just stare in awe when they were done. My jaw actually dropped when I saw myself. I looked so nothing like myself, but still exactly like myself. It wasn't too much, but you could still see it. I wouldn't even try to describe what they'd done, because I still didn't have a clue, but the results were gorgeous. Thank God I had a bunch of proffesionals for friends.  
"Thank you guys so much," I said, barely tearing my look away from the mirror. I'd never looked this good in my whole life. It felt magnificent.  
The girls then left the room, leaving me in an anxious waiting mood. Angeline came towards me one more time before leaving, squeezing both of my hands tight, looking like a happy bubble that's about to blow up. It looked like she couldn't even say a word.  
I sighed as the door closed and sank into the couch. I had 15 minutes of waiting left. Two minutes later the clock'd barely moved. Would it hurt Luke if he showed up a little early?  
Finally, right on time, a gentle knock on the door sounded. I got up with a deep breath and opened up. Luke's perfect face smiled at me. His grin even widened when he saw me.  
"Wow, princess, you look amazing," he said. I chuckled. "So I keep hearing. You look great too."  
He really did. His eyes were even more blue than I remembered and, the weirdest part, he was surprisingly tanned for a Moroi.  
Well, however, we set off. He took me to a tropical bar that looked a lot like the hotel's, except that it was bigger and a bit more fancy.  
I ordered orange juice that seemed to have something else mixed in. Not alcohol, luckily. I couldn't stand it, especially after the experience I'd had with Adrian. The drink was still delicious, and I spent about five minutes just quietly sipping it. I didn't really know what to say.  
"Hey, what's your not-so-friend doing here?" Luke suddenly asked. He nodded into some direction and I followed his gaze, seeing no one but Eddie awkwardly sitting there, pretending he's not watching. The blood in my veins boiled. Did he have to ruin this?  
"I... Excuse me for a second," I told Luke and ran towards Eddie, feeling terribly guilty about leaving after five minutes. But it still only seemed to amuse Luke.  
"Eddie, what on Earth are you doing here?" I cried. He frowned.  
"Lissa sent me to look after you. And she's right. You can't just leave to the middle of the city you barely know with a guy you barely know!" he exclaimed. Oh, God, I couldn't believe her. Seriously? I fumed with rage as I walked a bit away and took my phone to text Lissa.  
Why would you help me fix up just to sabotage my date? I wrote. Her response came almost immediately, like she'd been waiting by the phone for me to contact her. I'm not sabotaging your date, I'm just looking out for you was the answer. Again: seriously?  
But why Eddie of all guardians that we have with us and are at the hotel? I sent. I could practically see Lissa scoffing as I read her reply: Because everyone else's busy being coupled up. And, I mean, you bought that dress for him. He should at least see you.  
I didn't even try to answer that. I just returned to Luke and smiled.  
"He's also my guardian. It's kind of annoying sometimes," I explained and dropped my gaze back to the drink.  
"So, um..."  
The silence was still awkward and I didn't know what to say. It barely ever happened with Eddie. We could even talk about things like Star Wars. Wait... Star Wars... Luke...  
"Does your dad ever go all like 'Luke, I am your father' on you?" I asked. Oh, God. Did I really just say that? It sounded way better in my head. Why was I so nervous when I didn't really like him that much?  
"He used to," Luke said and looked down. I immediately thought I hit a tragic topic. He looked really hurt. How did I do this kind of fails?  
"Oh, I'm so sorry... What hapoened? Did he... Leave, did he die?"  
I should probably shut up before digging myself even deeper, but I was never good at shutting up.  
Luke snorted, and I completely lost track of what's going on.  
"What? No. He..." Luke put his hand dramatically over his heart and spoke with a pretend broken voice: "He saw Star Wars for the seventeenth time, got sick of it and stopped quoting it..."  
I opened my mouth and punched his shoulder, trying to look outraged, but couldn't hide a smile. We both bursted out laughing.  
"I can't believe you," I muttered with a frowny smile.  
"Oh, admit it, you love me, princess. And with my drama skills, I'll be able to play myself in the novie they'll make about my awesomness," he said, making me laugh again.  
"I can take care of the budget, I'd love to see that," I said. From then on the conversation went smoothly. As I knew from before, Luke was easy to talk to. First he convinced me to tell him what had happened with Eddie (who was still there). Then he saw I became a bit more quiet talking about that and brought on a few lighter subjects. We ended up talking about their band. Then, out of nowhere, I asked him to sing something to me.  
"But I don't have a guitar or any kind of backup," he said. Oh, he was trying to sneak out of it. That was enough of a reason to make him do it.  
"Come on, it's just me!" That still didn't seem to convince him. "Or I'll tell everyone you sing on playback!" He sighed and shook his head smiling.  
"Okay. What song?" I shrugged.  
"Your choice," I said. He hesitated for a few seconds and then hit his leg with his hand a few times to get the rythem. He started to sing a slow romantic song. I didn't recognise it until he got to the chorus: "I can be your hero, baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away..."  
The song was called Hero and its original performer was Enrique Iglesias. But it also suited Luke and his voice very nice. Its calmness made me a bit melancholic.  
"What did you think?" he asked me after it was over.  
"You don't know what I want from a hero," I replied with that gloom still in my voice. He chuckled.  
"We are so adorable and romantic," he said.  
"Watch out, you might catch diabetes," I laughed. He did too.  
And so, the night went on and on, we never ran out of topics to talk about and I laughed so much it was like doing 150 situps. We had a lot of fun. The sun was already high in the sky and I didn't feel like going home.  
"But, you know, you really do look beautiful. Not only in this dress, always," Luke said and held both of my hands. I smiled and even managed not to blush. It was a perfect romantic movie moment. Of course, Luke leaned in to kiss me.  
And I suddenly started to panic. I didn't want him to kiss me! Especially with Eddie watching! I wasn't ready to kiss someone else after a day! I didn't even like Luke that much!  
Luke closed his eyes. His lips were comming closer and closer, I felt like it's all happening in slow motion. I grimaced and leaned back. And back and back, but I was too careful and too slow. Luke's face was already above mine, then his lips hit mine, and... I fell backwards into the sand.  
I tried to aviod kissing someone who wasn't Eddie so bad I fell from my chair. And all I could think about was that Eddie's watching.  
I definetly wasn't getting over him.

**This still doesn't say much, does it? I need your comments for this one so bad! What did you think about the date? I'd write it till the end but the chapter's already longer than intended. So you'll have to wait until the next one ;) Oh, and I also started a new story, a Marly one, if you didn't notice. It's called Break Free. I won't finish it as long as I'm busy with this story, but feel free to check it out! And until the next time, please, review both!**


	10. Relatonship Problems

**This chapter was done a bit earlier than I expected. So surprise, I guess! Lately, I can no longer write short. So since the chapter was long enough, I decided to post it because it would just be too much otherwise. First of all, I would like to thank all the reviewers for the reached 25th review! Yay! You can't imagine how happy your reviews make me! Please, keep going! Also, I'm gonna need your help with something. You can check it on my Twitter account ( larchi77), it's the photo with lots of text. You can PM me the reply or whatever, there's no emergency, but everything's welcome. Oh, and i hope you didn't get the impresson that I'm already done with the date with Luke. As always, Richelle Mead owns everything, there are spoilers and sorry for mistakes. Hope you enjoy!**

The disaster was even in bigger dimensions than I'd first thought. The sand kind of eased the pain, but the hit was so sudden I couldn't breathe in for a few seconds. And then I noticed I'd accidentally hit my glass with my elbow, making the drink spill all over Luke's shirt. It was weird my dress didn't roll up, since the biggest embarrasment ever seemed neccessary to the universe.  
Luke got off his chair and reached his hand towards mine to help me get up. Our faces almost crashed and I noticed his lip corners were twitching. Well, I guess I was a pretty funny sight to see.  
"You okay?" he asked, still trying not to laugh. I just nodded and looked down, just to realize my dress was actually all dusty with sand. I swept it off with a sigh.  
"I'm really sorry. About your shirt... And what I did," I said. He chuckled.  
"It's okay. I get it."  
But I still felt horrible. Adrian was right, this wasn't a good idea. He probably noticed I was avoiding the kiss. He probably realized how 'over' Eddie I was. Was he hurt? Mad?  
"I'm not angry if you want to leave after this..." I said with my voice weirdly squeeking.  
"No, actually, I was about to ask you if you want to go home with me to change? A wet shirt can't ruin the party. If you're okay, of course?" he asked. I laughed nervously. He didn't seem one bit upset about this.  
"Okay, sure."  
We left down the beach towards their house. I had no idea where it was, but Luke told me it wasn't far. Of course, we passed Eddie by the way. He asked if I was okay too, almost laughing too, and I said I was, avoiding his look. Then I quickly explained where I'm going and left before he could start. But I noticed he was avoiding my look too. Did he feel awkward about the kiss, was he jelous...?  
I really, really hoped Luke lived close. Ever since I spilled his with a drink, I felt kind of awkward. The conversation died away for the first time in the whole evening. And it was 10.30 pm, which means the murderous sun was shining with its full power. I couldn't work through how Luke could stand it, and look like a model in a wet shirt. Also, my high heels weren't the most appropriate attire for the sand. I kind of stumbled the whole way.  
After a few minutes the silence was already killing me. I needed to say something. I didn't even care what. Maybe he really was mad.  
"I can't imagine the horrible things you must me thinking about me right now," I sighed. Wow. And I thought I'd reached the edge with Star Wars.  
Luke stopped and caught the hold of my hand.  
"All I'm thinking is how weird life is to make me fall in love with the only girl I can't get, because she's in love with the only guy she can't get. You're amazing and I'd never think bad about you. And I'm sorry I pushed you into the kiss. I should've realized you weren't ready, since you were head over heels in love with someone else two days ago," he told me. I smiled without really feeling it.  
"I shouldn't have said yes. All I want is to get over him, and I'm not going to do that by hurting you," I said.  
"Actually, I'm kind of glad you did. I'm really enjoying this date. And I'm not hurt yet. Just tell me: were you using me to make him jelous?" he asked. Huh. I didn't even think of that.  
"I didn't mean to. I never planned Eddie to come. But maybe, I guess I kind of subconsciously did try to make him jelous... Do you hate me?" I asked and grimaced. "I really didn't mean to use you," I added. Luke laughed.  
"Don't flatter yourself, you could pay me and I still wouldn't hate you. And I honestly enjoyed being used by you. I just don't know what to think about our governmet anymore," he smirked.  
"I'm not part of our governmnet!" I exclaimed.  
"Maybe you're not, but your sister's the Queen. If she's anything like you, I'm moving to Uganda," he said, making me laugh. "But really, I'm not mad. If you agree, I think we should complete this date the way dates should be completed."  
I nodded and we continued our path. And no matter how wrong it looked, he let me hold his hand for the rest of the way, because I had so much trouble walking right now. He also explained he can stand the sun because he'd lived here his whole life.  
After what I think was about ten minutes we reached the house. It was small and probably old, but looked well kept, judging from the front porch fence that had a few nice groomed flower pots on it, and the garden with some of the biggest vegetables I'd ever seen. The faded white walls had a few stains on them - probably from the weather and children - but even the most paranoied health inspector (or Sydney) would be unable to find dirt or dust anywhere. The probably most adorable part was a small pink bucked and a matching shovel in the sand by the porch's stairs, both made for little children. It looked like Luke had a baby sister.  
He found his keys in the time I looked around and unlocked the door. He invited me in with a smile, stroking his hand around the room.  
Steps sounded down the stairs and a new face welcomed us. It was a Moroi man in his forties, looking like a brown-eyed older version of Luke.  
"Hey, son. You home already?" the man asked. Then his gaze met mine. He gave me a warm smile. "Oh, you brought the girl home too. That's nice."  
Luke rolled his eyes with a smile and introduced us: "Jill, this is my beforementioned father who no longer quotes Star Wars, Sam, and dad, this is Jill, my... Friend?"  
He looked at me after saying the last word, like he wasn't sure what we were. Neither was I, but I just shrugged and nodded. "Friend," I repeated.  
"Well, nice to meet you, Jill," said Sam and shook my hand. I was about to say the same, but then he looked at me straight in the eyes and said: "Are you that Dragomir princess I keep hearing about?"  
I blushed and looked down. It happened every single time. Always, ALWAYS!  
"Yeah, I am. But it doesn't really matter."  
Sam smiled and let go of my hand. "You seem like a nice girl, so I guess it doesn't. But I'm sure you're tired of hearing that," he said. Oh, he had no idea how right he was.  
Luke then went up the stairs and almost bumped into a girl comming down.  
"Oh, would you look at that, Luke brough his girlfriend home," she scoffed, but not in the mean way. In the way I tease our guys. She was a year or two older than him and very likely his sister. Her hair was in the same golden brown shade, except a bit wavy, and her eyes also stood out. Like me, she was in a dress. I was pretty sure she was also heading somewhere.  
"She's not my girlfriend, and don't act like you're not going on a date right now," Luke smirked. Wow, I was right.  
The girl rolled her eyes and passed him. She stopped when she met me. "Hi, I'm Amber," she told me. We did the formality things and she seemed really nice. Then she left, Luke finally went to change his shirt and his dad took me to the kitchen, where we talked about being royal and their family and Luke and whatever came up. They were all a really nice family. The kitchen was as clean as the outsides of the house, and the inside was bigger than it seemed. The furniture looked new and well kept and even if they didn't have a dining room, the house was still spacious.  
I couldn't help but feeling like a spoiled princess, when I noticed every detail and immediately thought they weren't that good of a family when I saw the size of the house. I didn't mind that, of course. I lived just like that for most of my life and knew there was nothing wrong with it. But my new lifestyle was already affecting me.  
A few minutes later Luke came downstairs with a fresh shirt and the youngest member of the family in his lap.  
"Jill, last, but not least, meet Nancy," he said. The girl wasn't older than five years and she looked astonishingly lot like her sister, except that her hair was a few shades darker. She was probably the owner of the bucked and shovel I saw outside.  
"Are you Luke's friend?" she asked me after I shook her tiny chubby hand.  
"Yes," I chuckled. "I'm his friend."  
"Then you're my friend too," Nancy said, took a step closer and hugged me. I hugged her back with an emotional smile. I was melting. She was so adorable.  
"You must look a lot like your mom," I said.  
"Oh, God, don't mention mom," said Luke with that broken voice I already knew. I looked at him and saw his gaze was down, with his hand on his heart, looking like he might start crying. Did I hit something tragic for real this time?  
"What happened?" I asked quietly, feeling horribly sorry.  
"She's..." Luke paused and I felt more stupid than ever. How did I do this? In front of sweet little Nancy this time? And with his dad in the room?  
Luke continued after what seemed like hours: "At work."  
"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed. "I can't believe I fell for tis again!" We all laughed, although I think Nancy didn't get it. She just laughed because everyone else did.  
Luke soon dragged me out of the house and took me for ice cream. He told me he knows the best stand in town. It meant a bit more walking, but who cares. Ice cream is life.  
And so, after what only seemed like minutes, the date slowly came to an end. Luke walked me back to the bar we began our date at because it was close to the hotel. Eddie was still waiting there, turning his head when we came back. Our gazes met for a second, giving me chills.  
"Hey, Luke?" I said. He looked at me and I held both of his hands. "Thank you for this. I know I was wrong, but I needed this date to cheer up a bit."  
He smiled. "No problem, princess. I told you, I enjoyed more than you did."  
"I highly doubt that," I chuckled. Gosh, we were on the verge of an I-love-you-more debate.  
"Anyway. Thanks. I'm sorry I messed the first time up, but I think you desserve this..."  
I kissed him. It was more like a peck on the lips, but it felt nice. Nothing like Eddie's kiss. Still, it was something I could deal with. But when I opened my eyes, I saw it was way more for Luke. Maybe he wanted a bit more than that. He really fell for me. I was really sorry. And I knew it was our first and last date.  
"Hey, thanks. But I get this not working out. You still care about him. You need more time. Alone time," he said. Yeah, just as I thought. He wanted to make sure no more guys would end up like this. I smiled.  
"You're right. It's gonna take a while. Really, thanks for not being mad," I said. Trying not to make things worse, I left.  
Eddie followed me back to the hotel a minutes later, so that it wouldn't look too weird. He already called me to wait on the staircase.  
"Hey, you okay? That fall was pretty nasty," he said. Funny that was the first thing he had to say.  
"Yes, I'm fine. I mean, Luke was there to help me," I replied provokingly.  
"Mhm, I saw that. He seemed very helpful," he said coldly, with a major sarcastic emphasis on the word helpful. "And he really liked that you decided to help him too," he added more indifferently. Oh, that was low!  
Maybe I should stop analysing everything he said.  
"Good thing you were watching so carefully. You could see Moroi aren't useless and that I don't need your help or control," I snapped. Okay, maybe I got a bit too into this. Eddie snorted, seeming to agree with my conclusion.  
"Jill, I was only there because it's my job. Lissa told me to. And you know anything could happen, I mean, if I'm in my job, no matter what we want, I have to do it, right? Cause-"  
"Okay, fine! You already told me that a thousand times! We were just talking!" I exclaimed and speeded up my step. Three things upset me enough in that moment to force me into that reaction: he was completely right, he was very good at keeping his distance, I didn't need a reminder of what had happened yesterday, and all I wanted was him to be as 'helpful' as Luke because I just wanted to feel his touch again... Okay, maybe four things. His mention of 'we' also didn't help. I wanted to be over him. Or at least to talk normally to him.  
It was past midnight, and I was in no mood to keep awake, so I went to bed the moment I got into the room. Putting Eddie's dress away was more hurtful than I'd expected. So was laying on my back. I squealed in pain as I hit the mattress.  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Eddie asked, pulling his shirt off. I only gave a quick squint and looked away. Why do guys have no shame?  
"Yes! It's just, sometimes, you fall on your back, and it hurts you for a while, and-"  
I turned the light off and turned away. What on Earth was I babbling about again? This was exactly the kind of tension I was afraid of when he moved in.  
"Jill?"  
I turned around again, making the cover rustle. "What?" I sighed annoyed. Eddie's face was impossible to read in the weak light of only the lamp on his bed stand.  
"You looked beautiful in that dress today," he said so quietly I could barely hear him. A human couldn't. I pulled the cover cover over my head and blocked my mouth to prevent sobbing. It was official: Eddie was trying to kill me.  
Huh, tears instead of kissing goodnight. This is not how I imagined this vacation.  
The next day was dedicated to packing, because we were leaving the day after. Eddie was - although I had no idea how he did that - done when I woke up. Maybe to have an excuse to get away. Things between us were, mildly said, awkward and tensed. But before he managed to run off, Adrian came to visit. I knew why.  
"How did it go last night?" he asked before even comming through the door. "Wow, you must've really loved the hair," he added. I was so worn out last night I didn't even undo it. Now the messy braid was just a messier version of its original self.  
"Oh yeah, it went great. She has so much to tell you," Eddie said with that sarcastic tone again. I never knew that side of him.  
"Or, Eddie can tell you too, since he was there," I hissed. Adrian gazed from one to another, thorn between being amused and feeling sorry for both of us. It must have been an interesting scene to see.  
"I told you, it was my job!" he exclaimed.  
"Well, I don't know what you're getting so upset about or why you keep starting this! I told you I get it! Are you that jelous?" I asked and caught him unprepared. His eyes almost popped out. It took him a few seconds to answer.  
"No, I'm not jelous. I just find it a bit weird that you kiss me one day and him another, especially since you leaned so far back you fell off that chair at first," he said.  
"Well, sorry for trying to get over you after you gave me no choice about it! You kissed me! And then you turned me away! You keep saying it yourself, you're 'just a guardian'! It's your job to protect me. So do it, and don't get involved in my life if you keep pushing yourself out of it! And yeah, I was trying to get over you with Luke. Now I know I made a mistake. It was too soon. And I'm done with that. But everyone knows your mistake was bigger than mine," I said bitterly. Eddie gave me a small sad smile. He always smiled when he was supposed to have a fiery reaction, another damn adorable thing on him that drove me crazy.  
"You're right," he said quietly and left the room. Again, he didn't slam the door. He never slammed the door! He was always so calm when he was supposed to get angry about things like that!  
"What the fuck was that?" I exclaimed. Adrian shrugged.  
"I have no idea. Sometimes I just can't figure him out. He actually calmed down at this, he wasn't even boiling on the inside, you know that?" he asked. I nodded.  
"Yup. I know. Is he being serious? Like, I save his life, it's like I just shot down the entire Royal Army. Now, I give him a dosen of heartbreaking truthful lessons about what an idiot he's being, and he smiles like he's on crack and leaves, gently closing the door?! He could've at least slammed the door. He could have that kind of respect for me if he cares so much!" I shouted.  
"Maybe he's afraid that, if he'd slam, he'd pull the door knob out, because, I mean, he has been training his whole life. That's where you can notice it," Adrian said. He sounded very sure, but he was just trying out options that would calm me down.  
"He has more respect for the door than me..." I cried and leaned my head on Adrian's shoulder. He hugged me.  
"No, he just doesn't want you to pay for the damage. He's only looking out for you."  
I laughed. I couldn't stop laughing.  
"I think this is what happened to him," Adrian commented. "By the way, you kissed two guys in two days?"  
I shrugged and stepped on my fingers to kiss his cheek.  
"Three guys in three days." He laughed.  
"Seriously, Jailbait, you get more like me every day."  
Adrian left and I brought the suitcases on. They were folded into one of the closets and I hoped I'd never see them again when we came and I pushed them in. I hated packing, especially when in rage. Of course my clothes were in the suitcases, so that's when I used them, but packing still sucks. Fortunately, most of my clothes weren't very delicate and sensitive, because this wouldn't end well for them otherwise. The way I folded things in this mood would kill them if they were alive. And I honestly wanted to rip that gorgeous dress apart.  
Some time later, after about half way through, a knock on the door stopped me from venting my anger on the clothes. I took a breath to calm down. It surprisingly worked, so I walked towards the door and opened it up. It was Trey, only wearing his pyamas bottom.  
"Oh, hi. Come in," I said. He followed me with a devastated expression that almost made me laugh. He looked like a sad puppy, especially with his big brown eyes.  
"I need your help with something," he said. I gave a slight nod, waiting for him to say it. It was surprising, because never in my life Trey had asked me for help.  
"Do you think Angeline really cares about me?" he asked in a hoarse, tired voice. My eyes widened. Why on Earth...?  
"It doesn't really feel like she does. You saw the way she treated that Luke guy. And... She keeps checking them all out... I don't mind her being free and all, she's her own person, but does she even care? Is she serious about us? Cause I am, I love her more than anything, I gave up my life for her, so if she doesn't feel the same, I want to know now. Sometimes I feel like she does... But right now, we were watching TV in bed, and there was a volleyball game on, where some guys took their shirts off, and she started telling me all excited how hot they are! You know her backgrounds better than I do. What, is she going to love me or dump me in three days?" he exclaimed with clear hope on his face that I'd say it's the first one. I really was about to say it.  
"Trust me, she loves you just as much. But you gotta deal with the fact that she's from a completely different enviroment. She doesn't know loyalty like you do. Her dad married a 20-year-old while still being married to her mother, and she was okay with it. Her brother gave a girl a bracelet and thought they were engaged. She spent most of her life in a cave. Why do you think she didn't bother to break up with Eddie before making out with you? She never knew it was wrong!"  
And just like that, all of Trey's hopes were shattered. The effect was worse than if I said she's on the verge of breaking up with him.  
"So she'll stay with me, but she might cheat on me and feel like she did the absolute right thing," he said slowly. I nodded.  
"Pretty much, yeah."  
Trey leaned back and gazed off like an empty shell, trying to process what he just found out.  
"But don't get too scared, she's making obvious progress. Look, people fall in love, get their hearts broken and move on. If you're lucky, you found the one you'll be with forever. But you gotta take them the way they are. If you love her, accept her. She'll adapt to our life soon, but never completely, because that's the way she is. And if you love her, if she's the one for you, then you love that about her too," I said. Trey looked at me for a few seconds. Then he said: "Can I ask you something? And please, don't get insulted." I nodded and gave him an expectant look. Don't get insulted? That's never a compliment.  
"How can you tell me something that amazing, and your love life is where it is?" he asked. I laughed. He sounded so much like what Sydney told me a few days ago. Maybe they were on to something.  
"Ask Eddie about it," I replied.  
Then Trey left me to pack again. Luckily I calmed down a bit since the last time. At least the rest of my clothes survived the rage.  
I was actually done sooner than I'd expected. Most of my friends were at the beach again, but I just wanted a day for myself. What happened between me and Eddie finally came behind me completely, now, when all the excitement about Luke was over. Of course he was right, I still cared. It's only been a few days! And it was going to take so long... But I had to get over him. People fall in love, get their hearts broken and move on. My own words rang in my head. Eddie couldn't be the one. How could he be? He didn't want me.  
But after him, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. I mean, everyone knew what happened the last timw I tried. Oh, gosh, I didn't want to think about that. I needed time, that was true. And I needed to think about it as little as possible.  
Suddenly, I felt like something hit my head. Maybe a hammer in my brain. No, but the pain wasn't inside my head. Literally, like something hit me. The room spunn around me. I squealed and crouched down, holding my head. If it was really a hit, it'd be enough to make me faint. But nothing happened to me, which is exactly why it was weird. It only took a minute or two to stop.  
I realized I'd been standing in the middle of the room for about half an hour when it started. Was I on my feet for two long? Was I that out of shape? Probably not, but I sat down just in case.  
The door jerkily opened. At first, I thought it was Eddie, who could probably tell me something clever about my sudden headaches. And I already missed him.  
But no, it was Angeline, as I should've assumed the moment she practised her old habit of breaking in.  
"Have you seen Trey?" she asked. "I've looked everywhere, I've asked everyone, but no one knows. He told me he's going to the bathroom, but no one's in the bathroom for that long. And I should've known when he left through the door, while we have a bathroom in our room."  
Wow, he really gave her an amazing excuse. Bathroom. But I didn't expect him to run off. He seemed pretty okay with everything when he left. I quickly gave Angeline a recap of his visit. Her jaw dropped more with my every word.  
"Trey has doubts about me? About my love for him?" she asked with her voice shaking. I nodded and smiled sympathetically.  
"But I never knew I'm doing anything wrong..." she whispered. I nodded again. "That's what I told him too."  
I've seriously never seen Angeline so down. Trey was way wrong, she really did care about him. And she had no idea about our life.  
"Look, he'll calm down. He probably just needs some time to work things through. Then he'll pop out and everything will be fine," I told her. She nodded and put a brave smile on. Then I told her about my date with Luke.  
And then someone else broke in. Someone who never broke in.  
Sydney.  
"Jill, where's Adrian?" she asked with an urgent voice. Angeline laughed.  
"In the bathroom maybe. I'm sure Christian will be missing in five minutes."  
As hilarious it would be otherwise, I didn't feel like laughing.  
"That's what happened!" I exclaimed. Something had hit him in the head. I'd felt the consequences. Now I reached for his thoughts. Silence. I couldn't get to him. It wasn't like the blockade he'd made three days ago, because I'd felt him back then. This time, it was like he's not even on the other side. The bond broke. Like when I freaked out because of the effects. Something was seriously wrong. And it was terrifying.  
Sydney explained what even happened so she didn't know where Adrian was. He finally explained what'd happened the first time I lost the bond on this vacation, like he promised he would. He told Sydney the whole truth, including the excessive spirit use, and she got upset. She told me they actually had a pretty major fight. In the end he left from the beach. Sydney thought it was in the other direction of the shore, but then she went to look for him and couldn't find him there. He also wasn't in the hotel. She was afraid he maybe used spirit again and that it was too much. Now, putting the pieces together, I realized something had to happen to him. Trey was probably with him. But we stil didn't know where any of them is.  
We got the rest of our friends together and told them what'd happened. They both weren't seen in the hotel since the morning. Also, a few guardians on the island were missing. The ones that were supposed to fix the wards a few days ago. No one thought that was a coincidence. We were all immediately sent back to our rooms, except that Rose and Dimitri went with Lissa and Christian, Angeline and Eddie came to me and Neil and Olive were safe anyway.  
I was really worried, more about Adrian and Trey, because the ones of us who were still here were safe with all the protection anyway. I still couldn't reach Adrian. That also meant I couldn't locate him. I'd rather go look for them and help somehow, but I was no use until I knew where they are. I could only get myself in trouble too.  
Lissa guaranteed us that someone already contacted the guardian headquarters at the Court. They'd send a group of guardians to search for them and the guardians here would help them. We literally had nothing to worry about.  
But the air was still heavy with panic. No one knew what happened. And I was stuck in the room with Eddie until we found out.  
Sydney joined us in the room a few minutes after we were sent up. She honestly looked like she was about to cry. It wasn't easy for me too, and they had a fight the last time she saw Adrian.  
We were just waiting there for a while, each of us lost in their own worries. It took an hour or two. Then Eddie got a call that the guardians have arrived. By helicopter or something like that, because there's no other way they'd make it so quickly. Eddie had to join them.  
"Do not leave this room by any condition. We don't know who has them or what they want. Stay here, unless you're attacked," he ordered us with a tense, urgent voice. Then he left us alone, going so far in his paranoia that he locked the door.  
I don't think it was five seconds, when suddenly something in the back of my head hurt. Like I had a bump. In the same place as before. I felt my look distance away as a different picture popped into my sight. It dissapeared almost immediately, but it came back soon. Just for a second again.  
"Are we really gonna-" Angeline started saying.  
"Shut up!" I exclaimed. I had a reason to be this raw. I needed a few seconds of peace. The bond was comming back.

**I actually finished this chapter because I thought it was a pretty good cliff hanger ;) sorry about that, just had to. I hope the next chapter's comming soon, it should be, because I should write what's going to happen next in one piece, like I usually do with scenes like this. Anyway, let me know what you think!**


	11. Trapped Doesn't Mean Helpless

**So, here's a new chapter. I learned when you're writing a Jeddie story, no one really cares about Trey and Adrian, but I still hope you like this. I decided to post this today because it's exactly one year since I started reading Vampire Academy (which by the way belongs to the amazing Richelle Mead, who also ons the characters and most of the plot), my life changed to so much better and i also wouldn't be writing this story today otherwise. Anyhow, there are spoilers ahead and I'm sorry for mistakes. This chapter is also a little bit shorter than most, because I had to shrink the contents down a little bit, since, again, it would be too long otherwise. I hope you enjoy and please, tell me if you do (or if you don't), especially since I'm one review to 30!**

I dived into Adrian's mind completely. We needed all the details we could get to find them.  
His vision was blurry for a while. He hit his head pretty hard. Even when he was perfectly aware, black spots apperaed in front of his sight every once in a while. All I managed to realize was that he woke up sitting, leaning on the wall of the room he was in.  
He closed his eyes to mild the pressure on his mind. The feeling was similar to a hangover, and even thought his sight was probably the only thing to help me locate him, I understood he wanted to rest a bit.  
Adrian was just as confused as I was. He had no idea where he ended up or what was going on. He didn't even remember the last thing that happened. I felt something like a pounding hammer in my brain as he tried to focus. The fight with Sydney popped into his mind. I faintly smiled as he brushed it aside. He wasn't completely over that and he knew there were bigger problems to face right now.  
He remembered leaving down the shore upset about the fight. He walked for about an hour and then... Then he woke up wherever he was right now.  
Neither of us had any idea what could it be that happened to him. It couldn't be the sun, because it wasn't up yet when it happened. I honestly didn't have any other ideas, and Adrian didn't want to think on because of the pounding in his head. I just wished he'd open his eyes so that I could see where he was.  
He leaned his head back on the wall and regretted the action immediately. Obviously I was right about the bump. He squealed in pain. I was about to give up and go back to my own head, because there was nothing I could do right now, when a voice that sounded a lot like Trey echoed in the silence: "Adrian?"  
He opened up his eyes and turned his head towards where he thought the voice came from. Trey's eyes met him only a few feet away, confirming my guess.  
Adrian winced. Trey looked like he just got out of a fight. His face was full of scratches and he had a nasty bruise over one of his eyes. There wasn't much left of his shirt (although I have no idea when he had the time to change, since he was only wearing a pyjama bottom the last time I saiw him) , so I could see that most of his body was also black and blue. And he also looked like he barely kept his eyes open, not only because of the swelling around one of them. The creepiest part was that he was tied to the wall with chains on each of his hands.  
"Well, would you look at that? We're roomates again," Adrian laughed. The hoarse tone his voice had surprised both of us. "So, um, what even happened?"  
Trey leaned as close as the chains allowed him. "Come closer, so they don't hear us," he said quietly.  
"Who?" I asked out loud. I'm pretty sure Angeline said something, but I didn't listen because things got interesting.  
Adrian looked around to see who wasn't supposed to hear him and Trey talk. There were two huge shirtless guys by the door. And they were human. Maybe this was more than Moroi politics. Maybe some criminals took them for hostage or something. Could that be?  
He leaned closer to Trey. It surprised us both that he wasn't held by the chains. It looked like only Trey was locked up. So Adrian crawled closer.  
"I don't know much," Trey began, whispering, "But it's the Warriors. And I swear, I have nothing to do with it. I don't even know what happened, except that they found me at the beach and beat me up until I fainted. You were already here when I woke up, and I knew one of the guards. That's how I know who they are. And they have the tattoos. He told me they hit you with a baseball bat and got you here."  
"Wait a second," Adrian said. His thoughts were the same as mine: this was insane. "Why would they beat you up, and hit me with a baseball bat? I don't get anything, but this part the least of all."  
Trey laughed bitterly. "Because you're Moroi. And they know you're a spirit user. They were afraid you were gonna attack them in a way they can't deal with. At least I'm human and they know my weaknesses."  
This story just kept getting crazier and crazier.  
"And why didn't they lock me up too if I'm that dangerous?" Adrian snorted. Trey shrugged.  
"Dunno. All I know is that the guy who told me the first part got replaced by another guard because his coworker told on him. I don't even know where we are, except on the island," he replied.  
Adrian gave him a quick nod and looked around the room to finally find out a little more about the place he'd probably spend some time in. I stayed in his mind because, well, I didn't really find out much. The building looked like it was falling apart. There were traces of many years of rain and bad roof on the ceiling, and also a few cracks. I thought Adrian might need a helmet. His head was damaged enough already, he didn't need plaster to fall on him or anything.  
They were in a huge room, and it looked really empty with only the two of them and the guards in it. There was no furniture or anything. It made it look even larger. The door was also as worn out as the walls and the ceiling. Adrian smiled as he thought it wouldn't be hard to break through it if it wasn't for the guards. He wasn't in chains anyway. And he could use compultion, he realized.  
But I didn't think it was a good idea, and he let go of it soon too. There might be more Warriors outside the room. And he couldn't just leave Trey behind.  
Another idea struck Adrian's mind. He could use compultion on the guards to make them free Trey. Actually, he could use tons of compultion and all his spirit power. And if anything went wrong, Trey could fight. They could totally do that!  
But I still didn't like this very much. Adrian was speeded up by adrenalin and inspiration, forgetting to think reasonably. God knows how many of them were there. God knows where they were. God knows what physical condition they were really in. The Warriors proved plenty of times that they were dangerous.  
Adrian was still considering his idea all excited, and I was about to get to the guardians to save them before they could get into any more danger.  
Then a guy walked in. Again, all Adrian could realize from his look was that he's human. His clothes were completely casual, jeans and a T-shirt. I assumed he must be a Warrior, because how would he get in otherwise? Adrian glanced at Trey, who also looked like he's never seen the guy before. His aura was mostly red, with patches of brown and grey. From the conceited expression on his face, the tones and the combination, I assumed the colors expressed their worst possibilities; strenght, anger, ego, scepticism, greed, self-involvment. It was pretty sure the red didn't mean sexuality in this case. I'd learned that much about auras.  
"So you're both awake now," the guy said, chuckling in the cold, creepy way. He leaned on the wall. Both of the guards seemed afraid of him, so he was probably some kind of authority.  
"So you see our eyes are open, congrats," said Adrian. Trey quietly laughed in the back.  
"Cooperate, or I won't tell you anything," the guy growled and stepped closer to Adrian. He just raised his eyebrows and kept other sarcastic remarks to himself.  
"Why are we here?" Trey asked.  
"You're a bait," the guy replied. "We've been cooperating with the Alchemists for a while. They wanted to trap someone, but they didn't know how. We kind of messed something up, so they wanted us to help them with the dirty work in order to keep cooperating. We got this bait idea and now we're waiting for some naive Alchemist girl to come save you."  
Both Adrian and Trey gasped. Well, I did too, to be honest.  
"Sydney..." Adrian breathed. The guy laughed coldly.  
"You know what this reaction means?" He paused, but no one even tried to guess, so he continued: "It means we've chosen the right bait. The girl will be here in a few hours and boom, she's ours." He snapped his fingers to illustrate how fast that was going to happen. Maybe she will be here, Adrian thought. But my wife's not stupid. She's not comming alone and unprepared. Right, Jailbait?  
He knew! Well, of course he knew. Of course we'd try to save them.  
"And where exactly will she be in a few hours?" asked Trey. The guy laughed.  
"As if I'm telling you. We're still on the island, that's it. The west part, if it helps." Adrian stroke his hand impationately.  
"We know that! Don't you have anything better to tell us?" The guy only shook his head with an evil grin over his face.  
"And how, oh how did you find us?" Adrian asked then.  
"Oh, your friend over there helped us," the guy replied, making Trey's jaw drop. "Adrian, I swear..." he began. Adrian did nothing but laughed.  
"I know. But I'd love to hear what this idiot has to say to us."  
The Warrior didn't react to being called an idiot, he only spoke on: "You see this cute piece of leather you're wearing, former Warrior?"  
Adrian glanced at Trey who was looking at his wrist. I noticed a number of times he was always wearing a brown leather bracelet, more like a band, with a few simbols on that I couldn't understand.  
"It's the only thing I have left from my father since he cut me off. He gave it to me when I first joined the Warriors," he said quietly.  
"Yes, that's what you knew," the guy replied. "What you don't know is that every Warrior has one," he showed us his wrist, " And that it's a built-in GPS. That's how we found you guys when you weren't at Court. You're less protected here, so we knew we have to hurry up. We even replaced some of the guardians with our own people to destroy the wards. And so, we were able to get inside the hotel's property and capture the two of you."  
They destroyed the wards? No wonder I could see ghosts!  
Adrian was already a step ahead: "But you guys know wards are only against Strigoi, right?"  
The Warrior stared him for a while. "Um... Okay, thanks for the update."  
"What am I doing here? Why do you need me?" Trey asked.  
"Oh," said the guy. "Yeah, we want a few members back too." Trey clenched his fingers into fists and tried to get up, but the chains pulled him back, so he fell ungracefully on his butt.  
"I'm never comming back," he growled.  
"Yeah, you're never comming back to your 'friends'," the guy scoffed. "You're staying with us, whether you like it or not. We'll make you if you resist."  
An uncomfortable silence filled the room.  
"Hey, question," Adrian said after a minute or two. "You guys realize this makes no sense, right? I mean, except for the guards by the door, I can just walk out of here." The guy frowned and then started to laugh in the creepy way again.  
"As if. Yeah, since you're Moroi, we're still not sure if you're safe. For now we're keeping you this way, but if you try to attack anyone or escape or use your powers, you're going to be executed immediately."  
Adrian opened his mouth to say something, but the Warrior already interrupted him.  
"And you're not getting any food, water or," he grimaced, "Blood, of course. You're also executed for trying to bite someone." Adrian snorted.  
"Please," he said, "As if I'd bite any of you maniacs. Your blood'd probably kill me sooner than lack of it."  
I didn't like any of the things I'd just heard. So I left Adrian's mind and quickly reported what I saw to Sydney and Angeline. They agreed it was nothing good, so the three of us left to the hotel's conference hall, which the guardians had hired for a few hours to plan the attack.  
The hall was so large it didn't seem to have an end. Of course, not all the seats were taken, but it had been a while since the last time I'd seen so many guardians together.  
Hans Croft, the Court's lead guardian or something like that, was by the podium, explaining something with a bunch of tables while fiercly drawing something on a chalkboard. The other guardians were listening all focused. Only the best and most serious were here. Eddie's attitude to our relationship - as hurtful as it was - proved it very well. We couldn't have unreliable guardians. And we needed good protection, especially since this happened so close to the Queen.  
"How do we do this?" I whispered to Sydney and Angeline. Sydney shrugged, and Angeline, well...  
"EXCUSE me, we have something to SAY!" she yelled, making all the heads turn into our way. Sydney got one of those confident Alchemist smiles together, and I blushed under all those looks and froze. It felt like the time Rose first brought me to Court to confirm I'm a Dragomir. Not much's changed in the past year since then. Princess or not, I was still a shy girl who didn't like to speak in front of a huve croud.  
Then I caught Eddie's look somewhere in the last rows. He gave me an encouraging smile. I could almost hear him say it's going to be okay. It was good to know at least someone in the room was on my side. I smiled back and followed Angeline, who was already taking over the podium.  
"So, um, most of you know I'm bound to Adrian... I couldn't reach him before, but I made it now, and... Well, they were both trapped by the Warriors of the Light."  
The hall exploded with reactions. Hans clapped his hands to silence them down and started to plan something again, all enthusiastic. All the guardians looked as passionate as him and I realized this was about more than just Trey and Adrian. The Warriors, althought maybe not as known as a thread, unlike the Strigoi, had shown a number of times that they're a pain. That they do endanger us, especially if they really do unite with the Alchemists. We couldn't have those 'vampire hunters' control us or whatever they were trying to do. We needed to show them what we're made of.  
"There's one more thing," I tried to add. Nobody heard me. "THERE'S ONE MORE THING!" Angeline repeated loudly. I blushed again as the hall silented down.  
"Um, this may not be as major. I just wanted to say they're still on the island. The..." I had to think to remember, "... West... Part."  
Before I knew, I was back in the room with no idea how I got there. The weight of the day was already getting to me, but I refused to go to to sleep before I found out what's going on. Eddie wouldn't leave me without updates, would he? Would he?  
He wouldn't. I realized that an hour or two later, when he showed up, finding me and Sydney barely awake watching TV in my bed and Angeline snorring in his.  
"So?" I asked, trying not to yawn.  
"Well, we're going in tomorrow morning, around eight. Tonight the rest of the plans and preparations are going to be made, our weapons are getting ready, although we hope there won't be any victims or wounded. Hopefully, they'll cower away when they see us, but we're ready to attack in case of need," he replied, with his face distanced. I saw he was still lost in the plans, already thinking of the fight the next day.  
I wondered what I'd have to do. The timing seemed a bit late, they could go right away, but as long as we were saving them, I had nothing to complain about. Maybe, since we had time, I should call Christian up for another magic practise.  
Sydney seemed to be thinking in the same direction as me.  
"What will the rest of us do?" she asked Eddie. He gave her a blank look, taking a while to snap out of his thoughts and progress what she just asked him.  
"Nothing. You're going back home early in the morning," he said.  
"What?" I exclaimed. "We have to help! We CAN help! You can use us! And we can't just sit home helpless, waiting for you guys to do everything!"  
"Jill, calm down," he said quietly and held my hand. I winced. He glanced down and let go. "Look, I told you a thousand times, you can't expose yourself! And neither can most of you. For example, Lissa's the Queen. Sydney, the Alchemists are still on to you."  
Yeah, that reminded me of what I heard before from that Warrior.  
"Actually, Sydney, they trapped Adrian just to get you there. The Warriors are just doing dirty work for the Alchemists," I told her.  
"Wait, what?" she exclaimed desperat. "No! They can't do that! They can't get to him because of me!"  
"What happened, happened," I sighed.  
"But..." Sydney's miserable look was quickly replaced by a determinted one. "Okay. The rest of them stay here, and I come with you. This is my fault anyway." Eddie gave her a look that told her she's making zero sense.  
"But by doing that you just let them win! You can't let them get you!" he said incredulously.  
"I..." Sydney began, but got interrupted.  
"What's the yelling about?" Angeline cried. I explained the updates Eddie just gave us. She was as outraged as the rest of us.  
"My point was," Eddie sighed, "That we can handle this. We'll take care of them, and you guys have nothing to worry about."  
As reluctand as I was about it, I let go in the end. At least they were saving them. Eddie went to bed for an hour or two, and I stayed awake. I knew I wouldn't sleep even if I tried. And I was still hoping for updates on the location or anything else.  
Something actually happened in the middle of the night. Adrian woke up as three other Warriors walked into the room. They passed him by and stopped in front of Trey.  
"Are you comming back?" one of them asked.  
"I already told you, I'm not," Trey hissed back. The second guy put a whip into his hand and hit his body.  
"How about now?" the first guy asked. Trey only clenched his teeth and shook his head. He didn't even twitch when the second guy hit him again. He was used to tough conditions like that his whole life. But I already knew Adrian didn't support violence in any kind of way, especially when it came to his friends.  
"What are you doing?" I whispered - even though I knew he can't hear me and I actually knew very well what he's about to do - as he got closer to the Warriors who were beating Trey up.  
"Hey, stop," he told them. They sure didn't expect him, so they all looked up. And that was all Adrian needed for his plan. Eyecontact.  
"I said stop," he repeated, but this time put all the spirit charm he possesed into those words to make them obey. He used compultion. And they strictly forbidded him to.  
So, the three Warriors actually left Trey alone, but I guess their supervisors realized they didn't do their job, because the guy who first got on my friends' back stormed inside only a few minutes later.  
"You used your magic!" he exclaimed disgusted to Adrian.  
"You beat my friend up," he replied.  
"I knew we shouldn't have given you that much freedom. You're being exectued in the morning," the Warrior told him. This was exactly what I was afraid of, but Adrian only laughed it off, like most of the serious things in his life.  
"I'm being executed? Cool. I've always wanted to die in style," he said. He didn't think he was in real danger, because he didn't believe the Warriors were actually capable of killing him. I wasn't so sure. I left his mind and set off to take some measures.  
Back in the conference hall, the preparations for the attack were more feverous than ever. As I was breaking through all the busy guardians, I realized I'm here alone. I quickly looked for Eddie in the croud.  
"Eddie, you guys have to speed this up. The Warriors are beating Trey up and now they want to execute Adrian," I said with a desperat look. "What?" he exclaimed at first and looked at me shocked. But he got himself together in a second.  
"Look, we can't! All the plans are made already and... We just can't. We won't be ready in time," he told me. I groaned and hurried away to try the same metode with other people. But when neither Rose nor Dimitri and not even Hans could help me, I gave up.  
Well, not quite. The moment I was back in my room (all I did today was run up and down the stairs), I woke up Sydney and Angeline, quickly telling them what was going on with Trey and Adrian and what happened at the conference hall.  
"You're going to help me save them, right?" I finished.  
"Let's go. The sooner the better. They'll want us to get on the plane if we don't hurry up, and we have to overtake the guardians," Sydney said.  
"Girl power?" Angeline asked, making both of us laugh.  
"Girl power," we agreed.

**I guess this is kind of a cliff hanger again. I hope you liked this chapter, I think it was a bit more dynamic than the preious ones, but i'm not sure I'm ood in writing that. Also, it was almost kind of like in Adrian's POV, which I hope is a good thing. Anyway, the next chapter should be… Comming soon. Please, review!**


	12. The Late Night Trip

**Here I am, with a new chapter. I decided to post today because it's World Book day today :D I kow this isn't literally a book, but who really cares, so long as we read. So this chapter is quite long. I'd put it in two pieces but i just feel like it has to be in one. I hope it's not **_**too **_**long for anyone. That shouldn't be a problem. Thanks for the lovely new reviews and the new follow! Please, keep going with that. Oh, in the time between this and the last chapter I posted a Sydrian oneshot called Me and You. It's my first onshot ever and I'd love you to check it out if you have a second. As always, I own nothing, Richelle Mead does, I'm sorry for mistakes, there are spoilers, and please review! I hope you enjoy!**

Sydney was right, there wasn't much time. We quickly got everything we needed. That didn't include our phones. But I did leave Eddie a note. I couldn't be that heartless, because I knew too well that he cared. The note only said we left to save them. Nothing more because we didn't even know where we're going. The west part, of course. From then on, we were going to follow the bond and look for buildings that look like they're about to fall apart.  
"Do you think anyone else can help us?" Angeline asked as we were heading down the stairs, as quietly as possible, because we were supposed to stay inside. I mentally went through the list of people we had left here. Four of them were guardians. One was an unoffficial guardian, but still in the team. One was our Queen. And one...  
One was a reckless royal retard that could burn that building down with his left hand in a blink of an eye. Literally.  
"I don't really think so," Sydney said. "We're on our own here." I shook my head.  
"Think twice. I bet Christian would be all for it." Angeline's face lightened up, showing she agrees, but Sydney still looked skeptical.  
"But he's in the same room with Lissa, and she'd never let him go!" she said dubiously.  
"Yeah?" I asked. "Watch me convince her."  
A minute later we were standing in front of their room. Luckily, it was Christian who opened up. He was easier to trick than Lissa.  
"Yeah?" he yawned. It was pretty clear we didn't wake him up right now, because otherwise he wouldn't be at the door so quickly. He was just sleepy from staying up most of the night, like the rest of us. I don't think he was usually the kind of person who'd stay awake with worry, even though he cared, but I knew Lissa was, and she kept him with her as mental support.  
"The guardians need your help with something," I said and pulled him out the door before he could resist. His eyes popped out, but he didn't say a thing. I guess he already got used to the weirdness of his life. Although, he did notice we're dragging him into the wrong direction.  
"Hey, I thought the guardians are in the conference hall. Which is in that direction," he said, pointing towards it. I nodded and pulled him further away, out the back exit and to the parking lot.  
"They are. But they don't need you, we do. You and your flames," I replied. He chuckled.  
"I see how my flames could be useful, but I don't know why you need them right now, at 3 am the day before we leave," he said. I smirked and Sydney explained: "The Warriors of the Light have Adrian and Trey. They're violent to Trey and want to execute Adrian. We have to save them before it's too late, but the guardians aren't leaving before the morning, which could take about forever. So we have to get there and do something. The three of us are in this plan, and we could use you."  
Christian frowned and took a few seconds to consider the idea.  
"Well, it sounds like bullshit, I'm in," he smiled in the end.  
"Wait, but that means no more girl power," Angeline commented.  
"Why, we're all girls here," I smirked.  
"Hey!" Christian exlaimed. Both of the girls laughed.  
The parking lot was empty. Probably from the reason Christian had pointed out before, because it was 4 am. The empty places reminded me of a very important, crucial part of the plan we'd forgotten. I slapped my forehead.  
"Wait, how are we getting there?" Sydney asked. It was exactly what I'd thought of a second ago. Though that didn't mean we were any closer to the solution.  
"We could take one of the Guardians' cars," Angeline suggested. Sydney and Christian's face told me they agree, but spending so much time with Eddie learned me a few things. I shook my head: "No, they'll find us if that happens. I mean, we need them to come eventually, we can't defeat the Warriors alone, but they have every tittle planned. And they have GPS in their cars. They'll follow us and we'll be in trouble."  
Angeline rolled her eyes to my words. "Aren't we already in trouble?"  
"What if we tell the hotel's managment they sent us somewhere safe? Jill, you're the princess, they'll have to believe you," Christian said. No one had anything to say against that, so we did what he said. We had to wait at the counter for a while because, obviously, most of the staff were alseep, but we got the car in the end. It even had palm trees on it. Sydney drove it and I sat in the passenger seat, to give her directions if I got any by the way.  
What was late afternoon sun in the human world was blinding me, so I pulled the shade on the window down. Unfortunately for me, it had a mirror on it. My hair was sticking in all directions like an overused broom and my eyes were bloodshot, both from the lack of sleep. It all made me want to lean my head on the window and take a nap on it's cold glass. But I was needed right now.  
"Too bad I didn't take my sunglasses," Christian said. "I bought new ones in the giftshop. The frames look like they're carved out of a coconut." I didn't even bother responding, but Angeline did: "Yes, I see a billion ways to be longing for coconut shaped sunglasses while trying to save people from being executed by vampire hunting maniacs." Christian frowned and clenched his fists, but did a lousy job at pretending to be insulted. His lip corners twitched too much and a second later he bursted out laughing.  
"Listen, girl, sarcasm is my thing."  
Angeline raised her eyebrows.  
"The last time I checked, you were a girl too." That kept him quiet and made me smile.  
The car filled with silence that went on for at least an hour. All that time we were driving and I tried to reach out for Adrian. But I sensed nothing except for what I already knew. Nothing was going on with him and Trey anymore. No one came. He wasn't even nervous about the upcoming execution. I felt no hint of where they could be located, not even if we're getting closer. The bond unfortunately wasn't a searching device. Then we reached the coast and Sydney stopped. She looked around the, forming a question with her eyes. Her gaze stopped on me. As if I knew how to help her.  
"This is as west as we can go," she said insecurely. "Did you, erm, sense anything?" Her expression told me she had no idea what to imagine when the bond stepped into the story. I shook my head sadly.  
"You see, I thought this could be a problem," said Christian.  
"Then why didn't you mention anything?" Angeline growled. Whoa, there was some weird tension between them. Not the sparkly kind. Which still wasn't good. The last time I saw that with Angeline was when she threw a textbook into Trey's head. A few weeks later she tried to sneak him into our room. We couldn't afford that now. Especially since she just might try something, when her relationship with Trey was on thin ice. Sydney's look told me she was thinking the same thing.  
"Let's look around and see," I suggested. The three of them agreed relieved. No one seemed comfortable now. Maybe our rescue group wasn't desinged very well, it occured to me.  
There was something like a rain forest around us. I didn't see the building, but it might as well be in the middle of it, because it looked abandoned enough to let the trees grown in the mean time. And if I were trying to hide people to execute them later, I wouldn't pick a very obvious place. So we made our way through the bushes and into the woods. At least the shadows of the trees protected us from the sun.  
I was in the group's front. Not because I'd be leading it or anything, just because it seemed I was the only one aware we don't have forever to find them before their ridiculous rituals or whatever start. After half an hour, when all we had was scrathed elbows and knees, ripped clothes from the branches and some lost time, I was about to suggest we give up and go back to the car. There wouldn't be a house that deep in the woods, right?  
Then a glimpse of something came into my sight.  
"What's that over there?" Christian asked, pointing into the direction I noticed too.  
"It looks like a cabin," I established. He nodded.  
"Would a cabin be big enough to keep them there?" Angeline asked dubiously. Christian rolled his eyes and I shared his annoyance. When did Angeline get so precise?  
"Depends on how big of a cabin," I said. Sydney gave me a distanced look, saying that she was calculating something too complicated for everyday mortals to understand.  
"Actually, when it comes to the Warriors, they'll make it big enough if they have to. They might not be very mentally and morally developed, but they're organised. When they tried to kill Sonya, they made an arena in a week. They're stubborn enough to do this too," she said.  
"Well, fine, let's go check," Angeline retorted.  
We walked into the cabin. It was dark inside despite the sunlight and the scent of dust filled the air. The cabin must've been abandoned for a while. Any electricity was long gone. If it was ever there. Clearly, there was no sign of the Warriors. But there was a cracked door on the other other side of the room. We still had to check, even though the silence in the cabin wasn't very promising.  
Christian lighted up a flame from his hand. The room lighted up a bit and I noticed a notebook or something like it open on the table. The paper was yellow and dusty, but the pen next to it looked like it was just dropped. I couldn't decide if the cabin had been empty for decades or if someone was just here. I could've sworn I saw footsteps in the dust. Maybe they were just ours.  
However, I never got a chance to get a good look at them, because Christian's flame quenched. He squealed in a way that would give me a fair excuse to call him a girl again if I wasn't kind of scared myself too.  
"I swear that wasn't me. It even burned me a bit. I'd never burn myself," he said with his voice shaking.  
"Oh, come on, he's just messing with us," Angeline groaned. Sydney sighed and lighted up a fireball of her own. As our surroundings became visible again, the three of us crouded around Christian's hand to see if it was actually a prank or not.  
It turned out it wasn't. His palm was actually red and hot, covered with small boils. There was normally no effect whatsoever with fire users. He could even attack people with fire without damaging them.  
"Maybe it was just the wind...?" Sydney asked hesitantly.  
Then the door slammed closed and Sydney's flame burned out too. Actually, it looked like it was blown away from her hand, out of her control. The fireball grew to the size of a football. We all cried in fear and stepped back, covering our faces. In a wooden building, what was going on didn't seem very promising. But only a few seconds later, the fire burned out completely.  
For a moment we all stood there looking at each other, as much as we could see. Then, still with no clue what was going on, I moaned and raced towards the exit. The others were right behind me. I was already holding the door knob when I stopped jerkily. Sydney, whose vision wasn't as good as a Moroi's or a dhampir's, bumped into me. I ignored it completely because I found myself face to face with the ghost of Queen Tatiana again.  
The last time I could kind of handle it at last, because I already got used to the weird situation. Now I was at the beginning again. This vacation was like a roller coaster, except every time I thought it stopped, it went for another lap the moment I caught my breath. I thought this ride was almost over, but now I was realizing it's barely begun. And I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't even scream. I could barely breathe. Wasn't it bad enough we were all trapped in this horror film? All it was missing was the ghost only I could see.  
The pressure was too much for me. Yes, I was the princess, but I never had such responsibilities, I never had the weight of other people's lives on my shoulders! I wasn't good at this. No one even got me right now. The ones around me, yes, they'd help me, but they didn't get it. They were counting on me. I couldn't tell them.  
I wanted Eddie.  
I wanted the Eddie I had to get over. He got me and he could help me. He knew me. He could calm me down. But I even messed us with him. He was probably mad at me when he found out what I did. I messed this up too.  
I thought I'm going to throw up with the pressure I suddenly felt.  
No. I had to be strong, and I always was. I wasn't like Rose or Angeline, who'd never yield down, not even when they were probably supposed to. But I could take it. It was just a ghost. And a scary house. And two missing people. It wasn't as bad as royal event or something. I sobered up. "I. Can. Handle this," I mentally told myself.  
"What is it?" I sighed, out loud this time.  
"Huh?" the three of my companions asked.  
"It's... The ghost," I explained, turning towards them, then back to the ghost. My friends tried to find out from ach other what I was saying, talking in a whisper. Neither of them knew exactly. I could basically feel Christian and Angeline exchange glares behind my back. But I ignored them. I couldn't lose much time, because it seemed the Queen's time with me was always short. Or maybe not, since we were out of the hotel wards' reach. Oh, who cares, they weren't working anyway. And I thought, hoped even, that she had something important to tell me. I could use some information, really. It was pretty obvious I've stopped catching up with my life.  
Tatiana (I should really decide how to call her by now) pointed at the door behind me. At least so I asumed, since, even with my Moroi vision, I had a pretty lousy orientation in the pitch black room. Only the ghost, now that I looked closely, was shining lightly. She was still transparent, like the first time. Although, who would expect a ghost to be material?  
It had no use resisting. Even if I panicked, like the last time, she'd calm me down and make me follow her... Signs. I was over the panic anyway. Since a minute away, when I almost cracked, I decided to follow. I felt like a shell, I didn't think, I tried not to not use reason more than I had to. Because if I actually tried to logically understand my situation, I'd crack for real. I've cried enough on this vacation. The roller coaster doesn't stop if you scream. It stops when you reach the end and walk out. But I had to reach that point first.  
"We have to go into the other room," I ordered swiftly, like I just said an ordinary thing. So that they wouldn't notice. It sounded kind of crazy to do that, since there was probably a demon trying to chase us out, according to the quenching fire and the slamming door. Maybe I was over it, but I knew that they weren't.  
"Why?" Angeline squealed. Yep, they weren't over it.  
"There's already a ghost in here, what worse could happen?" I replied without a slight change to my expression. Of course Angeline couldn't see that. But I suppose she realized there was nothing to be afraid of, because I heard steps behind me.  
After tripping a few times and feeling around the whole wall and door I finally found the door knob and opened the door up. The second I did that it fell off the hinges and fell apart into plain old wooden boards. Something like that probably already happened to the wall of the room we just walked in, because a pretty big gap was adorning it. The light coming through it blinded me, but I was glad to see it. No matter how much the sun sometimes worn me out, I still liked it better than the jet black surroundings I couldn't even see.  
I looked around for the ghost. Funny, I could see her better in the dark.  
"What now?" I asked her. She pointed towards the gap. I gave her a look from the side. I didn't know exactly what she wanted. To get through the gap? Where to? She pointed towards it again, getting unpatient.  
"You want us to go out?" I asked dubiously. She nodded in the way that was letting me know I should already know that.  
"Then why didn't you just point at the door I was already at?" I groaned. I was starting to see the family resemblance with Adrian. He could make you go around in circles too sometimes.  
I crouched through the gap shaking my head in disbelief. The others followed me back into the woods. Well, we actually found ourselves on a small clearing. No matter how tough I was trying to play after my crack, I was relieved to be standing in the light again. The air had a soothing scent of soaked wood. The last remainings of my earlier sickness finally dissappeared in the freshness.  
"What now?" Sydney asked. Angeline and Christian were both still a bit frickly. I shrugged.  
"I think we should go back to the car. We've already lost enough time."  
"Yeah, I agree, but do you know where the car is?" she sighed. I bent my head.  
"We should've left a trail of crumbs," Christian said accusingly.  
Queen Tatiana's ghost appeared in front of me again and pointed at me.  
"Guys, let's follow the ghost," I said. "I hope we don't go to the north and the east before we get there."  
After a bit of walking, actually way less than before we found the cabin, we reached the car. We all jumped in quickly and, logically, wanted to follow the ghost again. But she dissappeared in a blink of an eye again. We were on our own. I felt guilty that I can't help. Shadow-kissed for nothing. But no, I told myself immediately when that though hit me. I had nothing to complain about. I was shadow-kissed to stay alive.  
We drove aimlessly for ten minutes or so. I was tourturing my brain with trying to come up with an idea. I had to. Time was running out, and if we didn't think of something, we did all this and got ourselves into danger for nothing.  
"Luke," I realized.  
"Luke? What about Luke?" Angeline asked suddenly cheerful. I was starting to see Trey's point. She was all eager about another guy while we were trying to save her boyfriend.  
"Luke knows the island better. He lives here. He might know something about an abandoned building or two."  
Sydney gave me a sad glance and focused back on the road immediately. "Jill, neither of us brought our phones. And unless he lives ten minutes away, we don't have time to go find him in person for a little to zero information that might as well be wrong."  
"I brough my phone," Christian said.  
"Finally, you're useful," Angeline muttered. He squinted at her with his eyes narrowed and then looked back at the phone.  
"About ten thousand missed calls. Thank God I put it on silent."  
"We still don't have Luke's number. I didn't memorize it," I sighed.  
"I did!" Angeline shrieked. Christian passed her his phone. She held it with exaggerated disgust and typed the number in. Then she dialed and gave it to me. I decided to give her a bit of a lesson while waiting for him to answer. Her reaction was really a bit weird for a girl in a serious relationship. She had to hear this. And so what if the other two heard it. Sydney knew already, and Christian wasn't that annoyed by her to give her mean comments about that... Or so I hoped.  
"Angeline, you still love Trey, right?" I asked her with a sad tone in my voice.  
"Of course!" she exclaimed, looking a little upset that I could doubt. I didn't really. But she gave Trey some reasons to, even without realizing it. She was worried about him before we knew what actually happened, so I told her he'll appear again. Now we knew his dissappearance had nothing to do their relationship and her loyalty, but they probably would have some issues once we saved him.  
"Then... Look, be sure that I don't doubt you do. But I promised you I'd help you whenever you're confused with our culture. Here, when you're in a serious relationship, you don't look at other guys or flirt with them or..."  
Angeline's jaw dropped and she interrupted me: "But didn't you see those girls at Amberwood? They all had boyfriends and were obsessing over boybands and didn't have a single problem with that!"  
"That's true, but... Did you memorize Trey's phone number?" Angeline's silence told more than a thousand words.  
"You and Trey are different people," I continued, "And you'll both have some adjusting to do if you want to stay with each other. I just want to help you. It'd be the best if you leave other guys alone and focus on him if you want to." I really only wanted to help her, not get in the middle of them. Trey wouldn't talk to her about that alone. And even if they didn't work out, she needed to know that for future relationships.  
"You're the one to talk! Don't you want to be with Eddie? Because you actually went out with Luke! Take your own advice!" she exclaimed. She looked really angry, but couldn't hide the tears glittering in her eyes. That was one more thing about Angeline. She got defensive when you hurt her. I didn't mean to do that, but now, when she brought Eddie up...  
"That's different!" I cried with my voice unusually high. "Eddie..."  
"Hello?" a sleepy, raw voice said through the phone. I winced startled. I already forgot it was by my ear.  
"Luke," I slowly said, slightly confused.  
"Princess...? I thought I saved your number... Sorry it took me so long, I just woke up and couldn't find my phone. Anyway, at your service at 5 am," he said. I already got myself together from the fight while he spoke. I wasn't even mad at Angeline. But Luke's words made me feel stings of guilt.  
"Sorry for waking you up. It's important, if it makes you feel better." I paused to let my words get to him (I knew how hard that was when you're half asleep) and then continued: "Do you know about any old houses around? Really old, about to fall apart. And in the middle of nowhere. Like, where no one would notice you're holding someone for hostage and want to execute them." Luke laughed, his voice still hoarse from the sleep.  
"Why, are you looking for a midnight tour or did Eddie do something again and it's guillotine time for him?" he asked.  
"Neither," I replied and outlined the events of the past day in the shortest, fastest form possible. The other side went silent for a second after I finished.  
"Yes, there is one old building. There are even signs towards it. It has the oldest inside stairs in the world or something. I'm willing to give you directions over the phone, but promise me to be careful. Those guys sound like maniacs. And I've been there once on a school trip. Something can literally fall on your head."  
"I promise," I chuckled.  
"Okay. First, where are you?" he asked. I leaned forward the window to look around, but found nothing. I've always had problems with geography.  
"I wouldn't know. I'll put you on with my friend who's driving," I said and gave Sydney the phone after he agreed. I leaned back into my seat, knowing I did what I could, and closed my eyes. It wasn't long until I fell asleep. For the first time after too long.  
My body jumped in my seat. The shake we woke me up. Our surrondings were no longer moving. Sydney wasn't on the phone anymore. She was taking the car keys out. It seemed that we were there. Except that once again, we only saw woods in front of us.  
"There's a small path leading towards it," Christian told me, noticing my confused look. I followed his look and found a narrow lane of sandy brown dried dirt below my feet. It looped between the trees, towards a white outline of a house. That had to be it.  
"Got it," I told him with a smile. We headed down the path. It was only wide enough for one at a time. Sydney leaded this time, seeing as she was the most updated one after talking to Luke. Christian was behind her, and I walked between him and Angeline. Safety first. Although I knew Angeline was no big fan of me right now either.  
I needed to do something about that. I turned around towards her and walked backwards, decided to talk to her. I hoped it would be in a way that'd end better.  
"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have gotten in between... I only wanted to help."  
Angeline narrowed her eyes. I didn't know if it was because she didn't believe me or because the last glimpses of the sunlight were blinding her. The sun'd be gone the next time we'd get out of the woods. Which was a plus for us, because - except for Sydney, but I was sure she'd find someone to lead her after we were leaving - we could see better in the dark.  
"Yes, you're right. I was just upset that I messed up with him... I really didn't know. Thanks. Maybe... Maybe it'll work out." Words seemed stuck in Angeline's throat and she looked crushed. I wasn't used to seeing her like that.  
After five minutes or so we reached the building. It was actually more of a villa or something like that... I didn't intend to go into details, since I was no arhitect. Anyhow, now the building finally shone in all of its dumpness. It was falling apart from all sides.  
We tried to walk in immediately, but it was locked.  
"I should've seen this coming," I muttered reluctantly. Sydney groaned and started to pound her hands on the door.  
"Come on!" she screamed and pushed the old-fashioned door knob. She kicked the door and, well, looked mad in all ways. It wasn't much like her. I guess she realized that too as she moved back and stared at the damage she's done. Well, she didn't really do anything. She took her bag - which I hadn't really realized she'd brought before - and took something out of it while the rest of us stared at her raptured. She sprinkled that something on the door knob and said something in Latin, or maybe Greek...? She's doing magic, I realized. The door knob melted in front of our eyes. Sydney pushed the door open, grimaced and then blew her breath into her hand. So this was probably the kind of reaction that heats up the metal much.  
We walked in. Finally.  
I coughed with the first breath I took inside the house. Even though there weren't many people to see right now - which scared me that there were preparations for an execution going on - a Warrior rushing up the stairs proved we were in the right place. But still, the air gave the effect that no one lived here for a long time. Also, it was a lot colder than outside.  
"Where should we look?" Angeline asked. I was about to say I have no idea. Then I remembered the bond.  
Now when I started to think about it, I did sense Adrian in this building. I just didn't know where to look. I focused on the bond so hard my head was pounding it. But it didn't help. Nothing turned up. My head was empty. My breathing became heavy and I was panicking again... Were we too late?  
Then I snapped out of it. Of course we weren't too late. Adrian was here a minute ago. You just can't force the bond. You can only eventually learn to control it. Which I did, but right now I got nervous again.  
I sighed and relaxed. Adrian was still in the room and... The room was upstairs. He didn't remember the way, it was just... Something was dragging me up, I got back in the rythem of the bond, and it was one of those things that just give you the intuition, you can't understand them, you only follow.  
"Upstairs," I said decisivly. Angeline gave a short nod and followed my lead with the rest of the crew. I walked with fast steps, determined to do what it takes. The bond led me. But as the stairs were in front of me, I hesitated. They didn't look like they could hold four people. Like Luke told me, they were old. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years.  
No, but that Warrior before made it all the way. And there was no sign saying that you can't walk on them. If a school trip had gone here, they sure would've put those up if neccessary, right? I really hoped so and stepped up. The stairs held. I heard a relieved exhalation behind me. It looked like I wasn't the only one worried.  
The hall upstairs was dark and wide. The week light only came through the small windows and cracks next to them. It was twillight outside. It took us even longer than I thought. Warriors were rushing through the hall, all in hurry and busy with something. Luckily they didn't notice us, so I led the group on towards the door Trey and Adrian were behind. They were on the extreme right of the building. But I stopped in front of the room.  
"The Warriors are in already," I muttered. Then the bond dragged me into the room, but not with my body and mind.  
"Time to go," one of the Warriors told Adrian. He only raised an eyebrow.  
"Unless you give me food, I don't think so," he replied. He was hungry. And thirsty. And tired. Who wouldn't be? The good thing was that he wasn't one bit afraid of them. But his resistance was no use. Two men leaned down and grabbed his arms to drag him away. It hurt, but he didn't react. I, however, grimaced without realizing it.  
"Back, move from the door," I said and pushed them behind me, a bit dizzy from being in two heads at the same time. In that moment the Warriors holding Adrian came crashing through. His eyes widened in surprise. But otherwise, when our looks met, he was surprisingly calm, almost... Cheerful. Like our appearance was a sign, both of the Warriors collapsed in the floor because of the wave of spirit that knocked them down.  
"If may I ask, why didn't he do that before?" Christian asked.  
"Because they could execute him sooner for it," I muttered.  
"Because he knows I'd rip his head off for it," said Sydney.  
Adrian ran towards us. I was about to hug him, but his thoughts told me that was right now the last thing on his mind. He was right. First we had to save Trey, and then get out of here. There'll be time for emotinal embraces later.  
The croud of Warriors came at us. I guess we should've realized before that we're a bit outnumnered. And unprepared. Our resistance probably looked ridiculous, since we all dealed with the attackers in our own way. Adrian and Angeline developed a sistem where he compelled them and she knocked them out. Christian and Sydney both used their fire-wielding skills. Me...  
I decided to try out the trick Christian showed me a few days before. As the first Warrior came closer to me to attack, I moved my fingers and made a squirt of water splash from his mouth with an elegant move. I was proud that it worked so well. He froze in surprise, giving me the time to collect the small amout of water I had together, forming it into a stick so dense it was like ice. It took one well-aimed hit through the air to knock him down. Waterdrops splashed all over the floor, but I quickly gathered my weapon back together and joined the others in fight, adding a little water of every victim I fought. They were afraid of magic. It was good for me, because when we ran out of Warriors (or so we thought), I didn't have a scratch.  
But of course we weren't done.  
"The guard on the right has the keys," Adrian told us. The room they dragged him from was closed. Trey was still in it. Angeline was the one who crawled carefully towards the door and opened it. Of course, the guards tried to grab her, so she attacked one of them, slidding from the other's reach like an eel.  
"Give us the keys," Adrian ordered to the remaining guard. But he used too little compulsion because he was used to weak humans, and this one was just a bit tougher. Maybe that was why he was the one who got the keys. Anyhow, the first try didn't work. The guard only took the keys into his hand, but didn't give them. Adrian would've surely made it in the second try, but before he could say the words, the guard came at him and tried to hit him. Luckily, Adrian was far and fast enough to jump back. The guard didn't give up. It was like a race - who will react faster, who will defeat the other first. Only their skills were different.  
Then the guard burned it flames. He cried in shock and fear, dropping the keys. I dived towards them and picked them up. Glancing back for a second, I saw Christian already let go of the fire - the guard was undamaged, because they were far enough from him - and Angeline, who was already done with her first guard, now dealed with this one.  
I rushed towards Trey and kneeled down to unlock the chains around his wrists. He looked at the first one as it was freed, finding bruises and scratches on it.  
"Thank you," he said quietly. I only smiled. "Is Angeline going to kill me?" he asked then. I chuckled and unlocked the second chain. It clicked lightly.  
"Well, you guys'll definetly have to talk," I said. "And it might be better if you talk armed." Trey grimaced and got up.  
"That's probably a good idea."  
We joined the others. Angeline dealed with the guards in a blink of an eye. Now we had to get out unnoticed. There were probably more Warriors outside, waiting for the exectution that wasn't likely to happen.  
It wasn't until we reached the exit when we heard steps behind us. Well, more like a stampede. At least thirty Warriors raced down the stairs towards us.  
"And we're screwed," Adrian said.  
They still kept coming closer, and I opened the door to let all of us out. We'd have better chances to run outside. There was no time to be playing brave right now, all we had to do was get the heck out of this mess. I tried to get to the path that led to our car, but one of the Warriors grabbed me from behind before I could go far. I screamed in panic. It waslegitimate now.  
With no idea what else to do, I recalled the little of the fight practise we had with Eddie back to my mind. I kicked back without a real aim. The first kick was a miss, but with the second one my assailant gasped in pain and let me go, falling on his back. Once again, I drained water out of him, but more this time. I went to the point where he was completely dehydrated because of me. He couldn't stand up anymore. Of course, he'd be fine if this fight ended in time. And if he wouldn't be, well, I couldn't risk right now.  
Or maybe that was just a way to comfort myself.  
I dealed with the others without letting them attack me first. Except that this time I was in the worse position and was more or less just wriggling out of danger. I was fighting for my own safety, from moment to moment. I couldn't even see my friends in the firce fight that had started. All I knew was that they don't have Adrian yet, but I had no time to dive into the bond.  
"That's the Alchemist!" I heard in some direction. I was too caught up the realize which one it was. I wished more than anything that I could go help Sydney, but I couldn't even jelp myself enough. They were just trying to chase us like fish in a fishing net. We were outnumbered and escape seemed impossible.  
I just dealed with one of the Warriors when other arms clenched around me and pulled me back. I was about to scream...  
... When the arms started to feel familiar to me.  
"Are you out of your mind? What on Earth were you thinking to do this? I was worried sick!" a familiar voice whispered into my ear. In the hopeless situation I found myself in, it was easy to overlook the stern tone of the voice and be happy to see its owner.  
"Eddie!" I exclaimed and threw myself into him, surprised to realize my voice was more desperat that happy. "You have to help us! I thought it was over!"  
Eddie, still surprised over my reaction, nodded towards the place where the fight was still going on. When I looked closely, I could see there were more people now. Most of them were dhampirs. We were winning again.  
"You have to go help Sydney!" I exclaimed. "She's the reason they trapped Adrian, because he was a bait for her! The Alchemists still want her back. And I think I heard them catch her!"  
"I'm on my way," Eddie said with the fierce guardian look I knew so well in him. But he didn't move. "First I have to get you safe," he told me. I groaned.  
"I'll be just fine! Like I was before. I'm actually pretty good at this, you know. I could really use some lessons, because I obviously do get into these kind of things. But..."  
"Okay, okay," Eddie chuckled. "We'll discuss that later. Now get the hell out of here."  
I was about to argue again, when, just like Eddie before - man, guardians were good at that - Neil appeared out of nowhere and pulled me down that path I was already about to walk before.  
"I saw the way you fought," he said completely casually, as if it was an everyday chore for him to pull a princess out of a fight scene with crazy vampire hunters. "Eddie probably won't be willing to train you after all of this lays down. Because of the..." he paused to choose his words carefully, "Unsolved issues between the two of you."  
I was about to argue, but he continued: "I will be willing, however. The recent events made me realize you aren't the kind of charge that would sit down, waiting to be protected. Although that makes my work harder, I respect and admire that in you. And seeing as you are officially my charge too, it's my duty to keep you safe. Whatever that includes. So if you want, I will train you."  
I cheered in joy and wrapped my hands around his neck. He smiled and hugged me back. He's gotten used to my emotional reactions and often hugging that went on with me. By that time we already got back to the road, where at least twenty guardian cars were now parked. He led me into one of them.  
"Now please, wait here," he said and closed the door.  
One by one, the rest of my friends joined me in the car. Trey and Angeline sat behind with me. Christian was in the passenger seat and one of the guardians I didn't know drove. There wasn't enough room for Sydney and Adrian. I could see through the bond that they were in the same car with Eddie, and that, after being reunited, he wasn't the one they payed much attention to. Their earlier fight was already forgotten, nad after apologizing to each other for putting the other in danger for about a thousand times, they let themselves to... Other activities.  
Trey and Angeline were oppositly quite quiet. They didn't talk, except from making sure the other was okay. My guess was that they don't want to make a scene in front of us. Trey seemed to take my advice about weapons very seriously. I just hoped they'd work it out.  
Christian and I were the only ones who stayed alone from our rescue team. I wouldn't rely on Eddie, as Neil said, we had some unsolved issues. I was alone, so I leaned towards Christian.  
"Thanks for helping us, even if we made you," I said. He grinned at me.  
"It was my pleasure. As I said, I love doing bullshit," he replied.  
"Speaking of that. We have to do some magic again." Christian nodded eagerly.  
"Yup, we do. But we have to call Mia in too now that we're going back to Court." I smiled excited. If Christian, a fire user, knew this much, what could Mia, a water-wielding pro, show me? And now that I was getting my training... Step by step, I was walking towards the independence I wanted so bad.  
"So I guess it's just the two of us, huh?" I asked after a few seconds, seeing as everyone else was coupled up. Christian smiled.  
"Yeah, I..."  
Then his phone rang. He answered eagerly. His greet to the caller confirmed my suspision: it was Lissa. So much about the two of us staying alone.  
"No, no, I didn't mean to scare you! They made me do it!" he exclaimed to something that sounded like hell on the other side of the line.  
"Seriously? You said you loved it a minute ago!" I hissed. He only gave me a desperat look. I snorted and threw myself back into my seat. And once again, I slept through the rest of the ride.  
We were supposed to leave in the morning, but after Lissa was the only one to actually stay in the hotel, our departure was moved. We only got back by noon and Lissa called us all into her room. It's been a while since the last time we were all together.  
Adrian came talk to me soon after we both arrived and were waiting for the others. Well, he was going to. But something about my aura bothered him before.  
"Hey, Jailbait, what are you so stressed about?" he asked. The question caught me unprepared. I mean, I knew there were a lot of things going on in my life, but since the big deal was over, I thought I was better now.  
"Well, we have my horrible love life, the fact that I'm moving in two months, your execution, pick one," I said.  
"Yeah, you do need a break. But look, you shouldn't worry so much. It all works out in the end. Like my execution. Did it happen? No. I wasn't stressing about it the whole time and now I'm just fine," he smirked. It didn't seem that simple to me.  
"But it would have happened if we didn't come to save you," I pointed out. He shrugged.  
"I knew you'd come. And if you didn't, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't just leave them do that to Trey, you know."  
Maybe he was right. Maybe life wasn't worth stressing so much about. But I was too deep now. Adrian probably saw that from my aura or simply my expression. He swept me into a hug.  
"I haven't even thanked you for saving me yet," he said. I laughed bitterly.  
"I told you, you don't need to help me. I owe you my life."  
"And I told you, you owe me nothing," he said strictly. His face soothed when he saw my dubious expression. "I guess we own each other nothing and just help each other because... Well, because it's us," he added.  
"Well, then don't thank me for my part," I retorted. He smiled gently.  
"You know what I think you need, Jailbait? A break. A real one, away from all of us. Away from him, especially. You correctly pointwd out that he's a huge part of this. I mean, you're turning 16 in month, you need to be fresh for the party!" I nodded laughing.  
"I think you're right."  
I didn't even think of my birthday! It was on July 27th and I almost forgot how soon that'd be. The year just passed by me.  
We both remained silent for a second, when I thought of what that break just might be.  
"I'm going to Detroit! I already promised my mom and John that I'd visit them this summer. This is my perfect chance," I said. Adrian agreed. I decided I'd do that as soon as we get back to Court and I tell Lissa about the way I've decided about school.  
Everyone got to the room soon and after Lissa yelled at Angeline, Christian, Sydney and me for running away to help, she asked Trey and Adrian to explain what actually happened. Most of the Warriors were knocked out, and even though the guardians took them for hostage, the ones that were still awake didn't give much hope they'd give us information about their organisation and whether it was a serious thread.  
Trey was the one that took over the explaining. I already lmew the story, so I only listened to it with one ear. In the end, like Trey himself already did while they were trapped, Lissa asked how they even found them.  
"Well," Trey said, looking ashamed. "They found us because of me and then sent members of the organisation working as guardians to destroy wards. We have to tell the hotel managment. It was, although, kind of my fault." He took a deep breath, like he was even more ashamed of being a persom and wanting to keep a memory about his family.  
But before he could continue, Angeline jumped in: "So you betrayed us? I thought you said you were done with the Warriors and are with me now!" Trey gasped in shock.  
"But I didn't really do anything! Just let me explain!" he begged. Angeline crossed her arms over her chest.  
"Didn't you just say it was your fault?"  
Trey rolled his eyes.  
"I did and it was. But I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I had this leather bracelet my dad gave me. The one I was always wearing. It was my only memory of him. But it had a built-in and they found me by it," he said desperatly. Angeline raised both of her eyebrows.  
"Oh, yeah, how believable. Blame the bracelet," she said sarcastically. Adrian and I were both about to jump in, confirming Trey story. Christian almost interrupted too, but I think he just wanted to demand copyrights for the sarcasm.  
Neither of us got the chance though, because Trey wasn't exactly happy of what Angeline's words accused him of.  
"Don't you believe me, Angeline? I have nothing to do with this! At least nothing that I'd want to!" Trey exclaimed.  
"No, actually, I don't! You've always been thorn between me and them, and they obviously won, and now you're sorry! And you lie cause you know there's no apology for such a betrayal! You pushed Adrian and all of us into an ambush!" Angeline screamed her throat out. Trey trew his hands into the air. Everyone in the room looked like they were in the middle of a soap opera, not knowing what to do.  
"Why don't you trust me? One bit, Angeline, why? What did I ever do?" he asked. Angeline sighed dramatically. This whole fight was way too dramatic for my taste.  
"Because! I get why they'd want him, he's Sydney's husband and a perfect bait for her!"  
"That's what I always wanted to be. A perfect bait," Adrian mind-messaged me.  
Angeline continued: "And I don't understand why they'd want my human boyfriend, since you're not important in any way-" she bit her lip and everyone in the room caught their breath, including me.  
"And I don't understand why your human boyfriend would want you, since all you ever do is look for a way to replace him!"  
With those harsh words that seemed to break Angeline's heart, Trey slammed the door and left the room.  
For a few seconds, Angeline only sat there, quiet and shocked. Then she got up. Looking at her, I saw the tears in her eyes, but she was more angry than sad. For now.  
"Trey the traitor, sounds about right," she said bitterly and left the room.  
Later that day, in the late afternoon, we finally set back to Court. This time, luckily no one forced me to sit next to Eddie. In my current shape, I don't think I could handle it. I got to sit with Adrian and Sydney. Which was more or less like sitting by myself, because they were constantly busy with each other.  
God knows where Angeline was sitting now that Trey wasn't an option. I hoped not with Christian. For both of them's sake.  
Soon after the plane took off and we got to untight our seatbelts, Neil came to my seat. At first I thought he was going to cancel our fighting lessons. Then I saw the smile on his face.  
"Jill, I want to thank you so much for convincing me to go to this vacation. I found Olive again and I've never been this happy," he said all cheerful. He was right, I'd never seen him like that before. Sometimes I wondered if he had something scarring like Eddie behind him or if it was just him. It didn't matter, because that side of him was now only a distant memory.  
"You're welcome. I told you you'd have fun," I said, happy it at least worked out well for one of us.  
"I really did. It was great. An amazing week. I'm so glad we really all got that break we deserved," he said. I smiled, trying to ignore Adrian next to me who was doing a very lousy job at trying to hold laughter back.  
Apparently Neil and I got a very different impression of this vacation.

**As I already said, this chapter is REAL long. It would probably be better if I put some of it to the end of the previous chapter, but now it's done, who really cares, it's written anyway. Actually the 10th, 11th and 12th chapter were originally supposed to be one, but that would seriously be just. Too. Long.**

**One more thing: the deal with Aimee is still going on. If anyone has any ideas what Jill's best friend should be like, any idea at all, let me know, please! Character, looks, anything. You can write it in your reviews (right, please review ;)) or PM me or whatever. But before I get too annoying, it's not an obligation, only if you happen to… You know.**

**I'll probably post the next chapter soon, maybe even the next week, because I have school holidays (YAAAY), but I can't promise anything. That would be it.**


	13. Home Sweet Home

**The lucky 13th chapter! I guess not so lucky because i had to shrink it down again. Sorry guys, I just can't write short. I wrote this quite fast because I'm on school holidays and I had plenty of time. Although I was supposed to do some things for school, but I didn't do most because writing is so much BETTER. Okay, so thank you for the new reviews. Richelle Mead, the author of VA and Bloodlines, owns everything, not me. There are spoilers. I'm sorry for mistakes, typos and stuff. And guys, please kep on reviewing. I love you all. Writing this chapter made me kind of sad, because, well, it's really sad. I still hope you like it.**

There were two things I needed to do before running away to Detroit. No, I wasn't really running away. I just needed a break. Which I was already supposed to get in Pentisuala. I guess wherever Eddie was included in my life, there was no break for me.  
It was funny, when the law changed I came back to the Court. Now I kept coming and leaving all the time. But that was the beauty of the throne not relying on me. I was free.  
The first thing I needed to do was report Lissa my decision of how I'd continue my schooling. Except that I still haven't dealed with it completely myself. Nothing made sense without Eddie. But I didn't really have a choice. I had to get over him in order to ever be in a relationship again.  
I guess I'd have to deal with it.  
The second thing was talking to Angeline. She couldn't be okay after the whole mess with Trey. I really didn't want to get in the middle of them again, but she deserved to know the truth.  
Except that it was far more complicated than just the 'Trey the traitor' fight.. Trey correctly pointed out that she hadn't trusted him. Not that he gave her good reasons to do that. A leather bracelet wasn't that good of a proof he was telling the truth. But still, Trey had reasons to be upset. He deserved more trust. And speaking of that, Angeline wasn't exactly trustworthy either.  
But she had told me herself she's decided to change. That she was willing to change for Trey and be with him for all or nothing. And Trey already gave everything up for her.  
Although... After everything that's happened between them, I didn't know just how true that still was. And that's why I needed to talk to Angeline.  
There was also a third thing I needed to do, namely calling my mother and letting her know I'll be coming home, if she's okay with it of course. I didn't even know if she had the time. It wouldn't be very pleasant if I got there and found the house empty.  
Of course, I didn't do any of that the day we arrived back to the Court. We landed early in the morning and all I had the strenght to do was stumble to bed and fall asleep.  
When I woke up the next morning, it wasn't exactly morning anymore. It was lunch time and every bone in my body felt like it's been torn apart into hundreds of pieces and then constructed back together, but pressed so close together it hurt even more. I assumed it came from running through the rainforest of Hawaii and fighting a bunch of maniacs who were trying to kill me and my friends. None of those two things were my normal way to spend time.  
I decided I'll first do the calls I can from my bed before getting up and tourturing my poor bones even more. No matter sleeping, I still felt exhausted. It was probably less physical and more mental. That's why I was getting my break.  
I called Lissa first. I didn't know if she was still asleep or already on a meeting. The Queen, always busy. But it still felt weird, having to schedule a meeting with my own sister.  
I still called to her personal number, though. Her official phone was always busy and, well, too official.  
After a minute or two of ringing blankly, when I was already about to cancel, Christian answered, about as sleepy as I felt.  
"So I suppose you survived your close encounter with the devil?" I teased. That was how scared he was yesterday when he was on the phone with Lissa.  
"You have no idea what she turns into when she's mad," he whispered with a tone that didn't even sound fake-scared.  
"Okay... May I speak to the devil myself?" I asked, trying not to scoff.  
"Just let me wake her up," Christian replied. I held laughter back. I said it twice, but he didn't even try to deny the devil part or that he's afraid of her.  
A second later Lissa's sleepy voice greeted me. She didn't have meetings today yet. She was only human, like the rest of us (if you ignore the biology part and other stuff you could endlessly argue about with Sydney). We agreed to meet after lunch, just the two of us. I already hinted what we'd be talking about, and she sounded pleased that I've decided.  
Then I called my mom. She couldn't be happier about me coming home, telling me I could come anytime I want, as long as I call her and let her know before I leave. She even told me I can bring a friend if I want. "How about Eddie?" she asked.  
I quickly turned that idea down, but was really excited about bringing someone with me. Although none of my friends really had the time right now. It was a wonder I did.  
What could be done from bed was done, and I had to get up. I decided to go get some lunch, since that's what you normally do at 12 am. I technically still had the time to go talk to Angeline, but I somehow didn't. I was kind of avoiding it, I guess. The last time didn't end so well, and considering the mess they got themselves into, I might as well have to talk to both of them. Which didn't sound very appealing. I didn't even know how they felt about each other and if they even still wanted to be together.  
I quickly put on some of the clothes from the suitcases that I didn't wear on the vacation. Maybe, just maybe I really did pack too much. Then, walking into the living room, I found Angeline asleep on the couch. It felt like a huge deja vu to the morning after returning from Palm Springs, except that on that time, it was Eddie who was asleep on the couch.  
I missed him.  
Angeline streched her arms and yawned. She blinked her eyes at me. "Morning," she muttered.  
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, more confused than accusive. Angeline grimaed and bit her lip, as pain crossed her features. She looked sad and I was sorry I asked anything. I already realized what happened.  
"Trey and I got a room together. Now, when everything's so complicated... Well, he doesn't know any of you as well, and we roomed together for almost a year. I couldn't get a new room in the middle of the night. I thought it'd be okay if I'm here until I do," she said. I saw the way she tried to sound cheerful, but her eyes were too red to make it look believable. She was playing so tough. I knew she always was like that and thought everyone expected her to be like that, but this was probably the first breakup that hasn't left her cold. She couldn't be okay.  
I was no psyhiactrist, so instead of getting in between again, I offered something else.  
"Listen, I know you're not okay. You can't be. But the thing is, I'm going to Detroit for a week in a few days. To my mom's house. You can come with me if you want, you know, to get away from everything for a while."  
Angeline nodded eagerly. "I'd love that," she said.  
So maybe I didn't mention Trey yet, but if she was coming with me for a week, there'd be plenty of time to talk. And I was excited that we'd spend some time together. I loved her. She had her flaws, but she's alwas been a good friend to me. Now, when she was having a tough time, I wanted to do the same.  
I took Angeline to lunch with me. Before time could fly away from me, I tried to gently bring up the thing with Trey. Only resulting in something I couldn't agree more with: "You know what, who needs guys anyway?"  
"You are so right," I said stunned. Who needs Eddie or anyone else? Girl power! It was time to have fun and forget all about him. To erase him out of my life. And Angeline could do the same with Trey.  
Maybe like that... Life at St. Vladimir's wouldn't be so empty.  
"Hey, since this is how it turned, I'm going to St. Vladimir's Academy again. I don't know what you want to do with your life, but if you really want to get rid of the Keepers once and for all and be a guardian, you can come with me," I said. Angeline opened her mouth, looking kind of surprised. "If you want to, of course," I quickly added. Back at Amberwood, we never talked about the future. What we want to become. We just... Lived in the moment, kind of waiting for the future to come. Now it was here.  
I didn't even know what I wanted to be. Before I became a princess, I supposed I'd just go to college and lived a normal life in a human city, like my mom. Then I became a princess, and it looked like that's what I'd be for the rest of my life.  
But a princess had to do something too. I didn't want to just wander through life, being a spoiled royal. Eddie told me I was different. I wanted to be.  
"I should do that," Angeline admitted. "I never really knew what would happen to me. All I know is that I don't want to go back."  
It looked like we'd be spending quite some time together in the future. Which was good. I always knew I'd need a guardian now that I was a princess. If that was Angeline... Well, I guess it couldn't be better.  
Actually, it could be better. If it was Eddie.  
NO! I was done with him.  
Now, why would I really want to be done with him? If he'd want me, I'd be with him in a second, I knew that. But now I knew he didn't. I had to get over him, even if it felt wrong.  
The meeting with Lissa was supposed to be just for the two of us, but I decided to take Angeline with me. If she was going to the academy with me, why not? I quickly explained the whole thing to her on the way to Lissa's private rooms. I wasn't going to her office this time. As I said, this meeting was way more private that the others.  
"Hey, Jill," Lissa said when we arrived. "Angeline."  
After the greets and formalities I explained my decision to Lissa. She accepted my wish without any real entusiasm. I didn't know what that was supposed to mean. Was she sad that I was leaving? Felt better with me at Court? Or was she just hiding her good mood that well?  
"Without Eddie?" she finally asked. Oh, that was her problem. Yeah, as hard as that was to admit, it was my problem too. I decided to ignore her point.  
"So? I know he's a good guardian, but so is Angeline. I'll be just fine with her." I avoided Lissa's gaze, smiling at Angeline instead, but even she tillted her head and gave me an are-you-being-serious look.  
"I know that. But... Look, maybe things between you and Eddie are looking bad, but that always changes. You can't just cut him out of your life, you'll only hurt him," Lissa said gently. She was trying to sound reasonable, but I was getting too sick of this story to believe in its happy ending anymore.  
"You think he hasn't hurt me yet with being this way? I've given him enough chances. I want him out of my life for good," I said grimly. "At least until I get over him."  
"Okay... So you're firing him?" Lissa asked slowly. That thought sobered me up. To fire him? He did hurt me, but should he lose his job for it? Not really.  
"Um... Not firing. Maybe you should just... Get him another job. Or put him on wait or on fence duty or whatever it is that you do with guardians. He won't be sitting around," I said promptly. Lissa chuckled.  
"Of course. We'll find him something to do. I suppose you want me to break the news to him?" she asked with a small sigh. This conversation was going as if Lissa was my employee, not the Queen. Or maybe our relationship really became more sisterlike. Which I loved.  
I also let Lissa know I'm leaving for a week. She only told me that I shoukd relax, because I'll probably have a lot of royal things to do when I get back. Just like she promised me before going to vacation. I guess she didn't expect me to be out of Court so soon after we get back.  
The next two days just sonehow passed by. That was how much time it took me to pack different clothes and get ready to go to Detroit. A few people came to say goodbye to us before we left. Eddie and Trey weren't among them. Lissa was, however, and as curious as I was, I had to ask her about Eddie's whereabouts.  
Of course, to keep some dignity, I didn't exactly shoot that question out.  
"So, did you tell Eddie yet?" Lissa nodded and gave me a soft smile. I stared at her for a few seconds, and when it seemed like she won't elaborate, I asked on: "How did he take it?" She shrugged.  
"Pretty well. Considering that the girl he loves fired him just because he wants to protect her, which is impossible now that he's been fired," she replied. I rolled my eyes.  
"Why are you all on his side? He's the one being unreasonable! And he's not fired! Now please tell me how did he really react," I said wearily. Lissa tilted her head in some kind of a failed apology.  
"As I said, he was okay. Very understanding, as he always is."  
Well, that was better. Although I'd lie if I said I'd like it better if he cared just a little bit.  
"And where is he now?" I ignored Lissa's sympathetic smile that was probably telling me I'm not really over him. Well, I said I want to be, not that I am.  
"I'm not sure. I sent him to Hans, and I think he's doing some... gardening," she said. Gardening? Yikes, what did I do to my poor guardian?  
I convinced Neil to take me and Angeline to the Philadelphia airport our flight went from. We'd go from the Court, but we'd catch too much attention to ourselves, two ordinary girls in Detroit coming out of a private jet alone. No one was really after me anymore.  
My mom accepted us the moment we left our plane. She swept me into a big hug, which I gladly returned. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she let go. It wasn't even that long since the last time I saw her.  
"I remember every summer I picked you up at St. Vladimir's when you didn't even let me hug you because you didn't want to be embarrased," she told me. I blushed, recalling that as well.  
"Well, a lot's changed since then. My whole life, better said," I replied. Then, weirdest thing, my mom hugged Angeline as well. The dhampir's reaction was hilarious. Apparently, it was easier for her to take the school guinea pig to her bed as a thermophor (she did it once... said that's the only way to stay warm at the Keepers if your bed is away from the fireplace) than to hug a basically unknown middle-aged woman.  
John back at home accepted us in a similar way. The house, however, almost brought tears to my eyes. It was still small and not so new. The parking lot was barely big enough for my mom's car. But I spent the happiest moments of my life here. I remembered the first - actually only - time Rose came to visit. Even not wanting to admit it, she was used to better luxury. My friends were surprised to see how normal, downright poor was the enviroment I grew up in. Pretty weird for a princess. My reaction was similar at Luke's place a few days ago. But now, I was so happy to see this house, as old and poor as it was. I couldn't take it if anything changed.  
Mom and John made us an early dinner, almost competing which one of them would show more hospitality. Their cooking's gotten more delicious than I remembered. Maybe because they teamed up. Angeline looked impressed. But I thought they'd die when they realized we're out of ice-cream. John hurried to the nearest supermarket and my mom tried to distract us from the lack of desert by chatting. It kind of stung me, because it gave me the feeling we'd distanced away.  
"So, how are your other friends doing? You and Eddie? It seemed like there was something between the two of you when I met him, am I right?" she asked after working through all the lighter subjects. Okay, maybe she still knew md well. There was something else that stung me now.  
"Oh, don't mention him," Angeline said promptly, leaving her surprised. Then John showed up with ice-cream, closing the subject Eddie for a while.  
My mom had to leave in the evening. She was still working as a ballet dancer and most shows were rather late than early. That left me and Angeline to spend some time with John, which was surprisingly fun. I hadn't realized until then just how much I'd missed it. I'd missed my old life more than I liked to admit.  
The week passed completely ordinary. I showed Angeline all the places I could remember and kept on being shocked every time I realized how much our part of town had changed in a year. I refreshed some of my old friendships and mostly became even better friends with Angeline.  
One of the evenings we were switching through the TV and found Pride and Prejudice, the part where Elisabeth rejects Mr. Darcy's proposal. I've seen the movie before and that part always broke my heart, because it was just so wrong, but with Angeline by my side and in this girl power state, we both reacted differently than we would have otherwise.  
"Yeah, that's how you do it! You go Lizzie!" Angeline exclaimed. "Who needs guys!" I added just as eagerly. John, who was just passing by, gave us a look from the side. We both laughed.  
He probably told my mom about what he'd seen, because the next day she came to talk to me, asking if I was okay amd stuff. I soon knew which way the wind blows. She'd always been the kind of mother you can easily talk to, and soon I ended spilling my heart out over the mess with Eddie. I've kind of gotten my mind off of him these last few days, but it felt good to talk about it again, to hear different opinions. Although Mom mostly agreed with the who-needs-guys policy, even being a married woman. I guess she realized I've already made up my mind.  
Or, better said, Eddie made it up for me.  
Anyway, my mom didn't mention Eddie again that week and the next evening she joined Angeline and me when we found another romantic movie the next evening. She even made us popcorn, but we threw it into the TV when the cliche happy ending happened, ranting something about how no one needs a guy. It probably wasn't healthy. And my mom made us vacuum clean later. But it made us feel better.  
One afternoon Adrian called me. I found out there was nothing new at Court, but he reminded me of the mess between Trey and Angeline that was theoretically still solvable. I quickly told him I'd do it and we didn't elaborate on that.  
But he got me thinking. I was about to mention it a few times, and somehow never did. I kept on putting it off. I supposed I subconsiously knew just how solvable their mess really was and was afraid to lose the only thing holding me up right now. Angeline, my also heartbroken friend, kept me busy and with her wild spirit kept on drawing smiles on my face. I'd crack without her. That's how we already were at Amberwood, and she barely ever had the time for me again after her and Trey got together. I was afraid to lose it again.  
Except that it wasn't fair. She deserved to be with him - if she wanted to, of course. She deserved to know the truth.  
I still didn't find the opportunity to talk to her until we were on our flight home. It was hard to find the words to begin the conversation.  
"Are you still angry with Trey?" I finally asked. Angeline shot me with a surprised glance.  
"You mean the traitor?" she replied fiercly, making it pretty clear how she feels about him. I can't say I didn't understand her. Of I knew what she knew, I'd be angry too. But I knew more. She basically didn't let him explain. It was weird no one told her it wasn't really his fault.  
That's because it's your job, a voice inside my head told me. Tell her now. Better late than never. I exhaled.  
"Listen, I know it's hard to believe, but he was telling the truth," I said slowly, avoiding her look. I expected the reaction that followed my words.  
"You were on his side this whole time? And pretended to agree with me? How could you?" she exclaimed. She turned away in rage, but I caught the glitter of tears in her eyes.  
"I'm sorry, but please just hear me out," I pleaded. "I'm not telling you this because I'd want to hurt you, it's the opposite. You don't know the truth, but you deserve to. I was there through the bond and Trey really had nothing to do with the ambush."  
"So let's never wear bracelets again. They might have GPS in them." I ignored the scoff in her voice and continued: "I saw Trey throw that bracelet into the sea the day we left Pentisuala."  
Angeline glanced at me with a downright despizeful look. "You could've just made that one up," she remarked.  
"Why would I do that?" I wondered desperately.  
"I just don't believe it," she insisted. I sighed. This wasn't my battle. My own has exhausted me enough.  
"Do as you like. But I really believe he deserves you to at least talk to him."  
I doubted she's do that, because she didn't even talk to me for the rest of the flight.  
Or so I though until the flight attendant announced we'd be landing soon. That's when Angeline turned towards me.  
"You were right. He at least deserves a chance to explain," she said. I nodded with a smile, a bit surprised over her sudden change. What shocked me even more was that she apologized next. I was really proud over how mature she'd gotten. I just hoped Trey would still be willing to explain.  
Lissa kept her promise and involved me into more royal events, including council meetings, luxurious dinners, things like that. It included getting dressed and fixed up until I was unrecognisable for each one of them, because it was a must to look your best or such opportunities. It was a relief for me that it didn't require a guardian. I'd always had one - Eddie - around last year, because of how important my life had been. I can't say I missed the attention. And I clearly didn't need a reminder of what happened between me and Eddie when someone'd be replacing him.  
The problem about these royal things was that it was the most boring thing ever. I couldn't work through how Lissa could stand it every day. The council meetings weren't even that bad, because I actually cared about some of the changes Lissa was trying to achieve. Dinners were way worse. Some royals were downright disgusting, spreading rumors that I caught weren't even true. Sometimes they even did that with people they laughed with and claimed how much they love them just the night before.  
I was starting to understand why Eddie was so afraid of their judging. I could hear how rude they were, even to people I knew. From time to time, Adrian and Sydney faced some judging from people their own age because of their marriage, but it was so much more pathetic when they didn't even want to do it face to face.  
Lissa was mostly by my side during these things, but the moment she left every once in a while, the others started to talk about how she's too good for Christian. He couldn't shake his past off. He'd given up on these events long ago. Who could blame him?  
I got Adrian to come with me every once in a while. At least that helped me get through. Most of my other friends weren't eben on the elite list of people that could attend this hollow self-worshiping. But that didn't matter. Adrian and I could basically have the best time ever anywhere. It was one of the rare moments when he got me to cheer up.  
But other than that, I felt Adrian blocking himself from me again. Not permanently, just every now and then. Like he was hiding something from me. That's where it showed how much I'd grown. I was kind of proud of myself. If this happened a few moths ago, I'd go crazy stalker on him to find out what's going on. Now... Well, whatever was coming up, let it. As long as he didn't use too much spirit, I was more or less okay with it.  
Whatever it was that he was hiding, it probably wasn't a disaster, because in my life, disasters didn't show any signs of coming, they just happened, forcing us to deal with it.  
Honestly, I assumed Adrian was talking to Eddie to convince him into changing his mind about me. I wouldn't mind if he succeded.  
By now, I kind of knew I won't get over Eddie while I was here. He was too close, even though I barely ever saw him. I needed a fresh start, which was the reason I was returning to the Academy. Until then, I needed to stay away.  
But I hated how out of my life he was. I missed him with every part of my soul. I didn't use to understand lovestruck girls longing for their boyfriends. Well, Eddie and I weren't anything to each other. Not anymore. Ouch. He was missing in my life so much it hurt me. It felt empty.  
I mostly missed him at night. I couldn't even sleep anymore. I guess I wasn't stressed anymore, but I was miserable.  
Well, during the day, I didn't leave myself the space to feel lonely. Other than royal events, I found a few ways to keep myself busy.  
Neil kept his promise and started to train me. At first it reminded me of my lessons with Eddie, but that spark of nostalgia was soon gone. Neil didn't sugarcoat things for me, he wasn't as gentle. It was phisically harder for me, but it was the only way to learn. He actually thought I needed the defense I could offer myself, and I appreciated that greatly. He and I were both excited to see progress in me.  
After a few days of that practise passed, Neil started to call me to trainings himself. But they were mostly short. And that mostly happened when Adrian blocked himself from the bond.  
Something was definetly going on. I still didn't bother finding out what it was.  
But I was still mostly the one who scheduled training. It was fun for me, a good way to pass the time and do something for myself. I mostly wasn't even doing anything in those days, except for being miserable.  
I also started to practise magic on my own, with a promise to get with Mia nad Christian and anyone else interested as soon as I get phisically stronger. Which I thought would be soon, if I kept progressing the way I did until now.  
Angeline only stayed with me for about three more days after we returned home. I was perisistent about her talking to Trey, and when I came home from what I think was my second fight practise, just about to go see Trey myself to tell him that she'll listen, I found them kissing on the couch Angeline'd been sleeping on.  
"So, um... We talked," Angeline told me. I smiled, happy for both of them. I reached my goal - got them back together.  
Trey even came to talk to me the same evening, as Angeline moved back in with him. A huge grinn was drawn over his face when I opened the door for him. Neither of them looked like they'd ever stop smiling again. They probably didn't realize what a hard time they had withoutbeach other until they were reunited. Knowing I was kind of responsible for it was one of the small sparks of happiness in my life.  
"Jill, I can't tell you how grateful I am that you were willing to do this for us. She wouldn't let me talk to her... Thank you for doing it for me. We had to work a few things out, but she promised to try and change," he said. I think I beamed in that moment. I couldn't explain how happy helping them made me.  
"And of course you'll try to trust her," I added, reminding him of our conversation when he first expressed his doubts abiut their relationship. They seemed to be long forgotten by now.  
"Yes! Definetly," he said promptly. "You were right... She's perfect the way she is." Angeline was far from perfect, but I didn't want to correct him, seeing how happy he was. "I mean, perfect for me," he added immeadiately. "I think I love her."  
"Make sure you tell her that as often as possible," I said, choking on my words. I was about to add it's nice to hear, but my voice failed on me. Trey smiled and left, while I bursted into tears, no matter how happy I'd just felt.  
From then on, I mostly cried through the nights.  
Two weeks passed in that similar spirit - royal events, training, Adrian blocking from me, missing Eddie wildly, mostly crying at night.  
I literally barely ever saw him. During those two weeks, I think it happened twice. I only saw him from afar, once in a garden when I was passing by, and once leaving the gym when I was waiting for Neil. We never talked anymore.  
But after those two weeks passed, there was a night I didn't spend in tears. I didn't even think about Eddie. It was the night before my birthday.  
I used to get really excited about birthdays. Like, way too excited. But not this time. It's actually been a while since I really got excited about something. Without Eddie, nothing seemed worth it. I still couldn't let my birthday go completely. It kept me awake and thinking about it for a while. I wondered if anyone would even remember. Probably.  
"It has to be a good day. First after a while," I thought. "If this isn't going to be my day, what is?" I had to stop being miserable about Eddie. He wasn't worth it. He was never really mine, so what was I even mourning for? For the first time in a while, I felt positive about my life.  
Right before I drowned into much-needed sleep, I decided I'll be happy again from now on. And that I'll ignore my birthday unless someone brings it up. Just because. To prove I can do it.  
Well, it was hard to ignore it a few hours later, at 4 am, when I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I moaned and stumbled towards it. After only sleeping for, what, three of four hours, the noise made my head ache. "Shut up," I muttered when I finally reached the phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey, Jill?" a nervous voice greeted me. Like whoever was calling wasn't sure if they have the right number. The voice was familiar, but right now, all sleepy and blurry, I had no idea where to put it.  
"Yes," I said carefully, unsure what to expect.  
"Hi, it's me, Micah," the voice said cheerfully and more securly now. A cling sounded in my head. Of course, now I knew the voice!  
"Oh, hi!" I exclaimed with a huge smile drawn on my face. I certinately didn't expect him to call, but this sudden surprise cheered me up to a point I could never imagine. I was wide awake now. I hadn't heard from my Amberwood friends in so long!  
"I, um... I don't know what schedule you're on, so I decided to just call. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday," he said warmly.  
"You remembered?" I laughed in disbelief. I was amazed. He called even though it was a month since I moved half of the country away and at least six months since I broke up with him for no reason.  
"Of course I remembered! How could I forget?" he chuckled. I seriously wanted to give him a hug.  
We talked for quite a while. He told me what's new in Palm Springs and asked if I'd be coming back. There was some longing in his voice and I was a bit sorry to say no. Maybe because the longing in my heart reflected his. I missed the good old simple days.  
I kept tossing and turning in bed after canceling the call. The air tasted too much of the day already to keep me sleeping. A bit before 7 am I finally got up, even with a smile on my face. My reflection in the mirror surprised me... These days I was mostly looking like a zombie, but right now, a rare thing for me, I had to admit I look beautiful.  
For the first time since the vacation it took me a while to choose what to wear. Lately I'd been just pulling on whatever I found, but with this new energy, I also cared about looking decent. It was my day, after all.  
I chose a blue, black and white striped short dress. The summer was still on full strike, so I wasn't afraid I'd be cold. Rather hot.  
And really, the heat almost knocked me over as I stepped through the door. The sun was low, but still hot and dangerous. I had to be careful not to stay outside for too long if I didn't want to get sunburns.  
I was about to go toward the river I could see through my window to practise magic a little bit. Then, strange thing, I ran into Adrian. Strange because I never ran into him, I always expected him. It was one of the times he was blocking himself.  
He was surprised too, I saw it in his face, but he recovered immediately and smiled wide.  
"Jailbait, I didn't expect you out so early! Happy birthday!" he exclaimed honestly cheerful and hugged me. I returned the hug and the smile, but couldn't help thinking this was a bit odd. He usually wasn't out this early either. And there was something weird, almost panicked in his expression when he saw me.  
I was suddenly dying to know the thing he was hiding from me. Maybe I hadn't really grown, I just became curious again as life began to return into me. I didn't care about anything when all I saw was my misery. I also always slept really late once I managed to actually fall asleep.  
Did Adrian start to get up early in that time? And was whatever he was hiding from me really just convincing Eddie? Maybe he was just surprised because I really hadn't gotten up willingly in so long. Maybe Lissa was dragging me to council meetings and Neil was calling me to trainings just to actually get me somewhere. I realized I'd been drowning.  
Why would I want to be drowning when breathing felt so good? I hadn't felt it in so long. It was surprising how addictive crying becomes if you do it every day. I had to stop this.  
"You look really happy today. I'm glad to see that," Adrian remarked before he was on his way again. My smile widened as I continued my walk towards the river.  
The air around the water was invigoratingly fresh and because of the shadow the trees gave even the sun was easier to stand for a Moroi. It was more or less perfect and I just stood there enjoing it before getting to practise.  
Wielding water was a joy too. We've learend plenty of times that using too much magic was exhausting and even dangerous for spirit users, but with us, 'normal' Moroi, it was an amazing feeling. I never felt more free than when feeling the power of water in my hands, having complete control over it. I really had to contact Christian and Mia. I had less time than I'd like, because I was meeting my friends for breakfast. We still had most meals together in 'our' cafeteria, except that I'd been frequently missing breakfasts in the near past because, as mentioned, I slept late. And I didn't feel like spending much time with my friends, except when they made me.  
Well, now I was more than happy to join them.  
I got about a thousand congratulations when I got there, which went on for the rest of the day. Rose called me up a bit after lunch and took me to the Court's spa, telling me she has a small surprise.  
"You said you want a fresh start, and I thought you could do that with a fresh hairstyle. There's this guy who basically does anything at the spa, he's got hands of gold, so you should let him do what he does," she told me with a misterious smile. "And he's really cute," she remarked.  
"Then I can't wait," I giggled.  
A few minutes later one of the most gorgeous creatures I'd ever met greeted me.  
"Hello, you must be the famous Dragomir princess," he said with a warm, charming voice and gave a slight bow.  
"Famous?" I repeated with a wide grinn, feeling a blush coming up. The guy - he was a dhampir - smiled, making his flawless face even more attractive. I felt like I was a year back in the past mentally - I was afraid I might faint.  
"Well, there's only two of you, words come around. My name is Ambrose and I'll be taking care of your hair today, or so I heard," he told me. I nodded excited and placed myself into the chair he stroke his hand towards.  
My hair was done by different people for every royal dinner I attended, and they all complained about the material, but what they'd done was never permanent. Now, in only half an hour's time, Ambrose created a very casual but pretty hairstyle. My hair still floated free and it was still curly, but the difference was obvious. I don't know how he did it. It looked like I could brush it with no fear of the brush breaking, and it was so shiny and not at all messy and... And it would stay like that. It would be too weak of a word if I said I was impressed.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I squealed, not really knowing if it was meant for him or Rose. They both looked happy they made me so happy. I obviously lost the self-control I thought I'd gained during this year. But I didn't care. I was realizing it's more important to be happy than to look normal.  
Rose walked me back to my room. She did it in a bit weird of a way, though, leading me around most of the buildings and through the park. It was supposingly to "get a little excercise". She stayed with me in my room. I was glad she did that, because I hadn't really spoken to her in a while. All of my friends, actually.  
It was around 6 pm when Lissa called me.  
"Your favorite," came her voice. "A royal dinner." I groaned in dismay. I never hid my opinion about those dinners. "I'm so sorry," Lissa said, sounding sincere. She told me when and where and that I don't need to go to the spa or too fixed up, because it was supposingly in a more 'casual spirit'.  
"Well, you get dressed and I'll just go there," Rose told me. Guardians were always on such events. They were even before I died on one last year. The royals were most vunerable at night, when they all gathered together and were possibly a little drunk too.  
But that wasn't the part of Rose's words that bothered me.  
"Wait, how did you know?" I asked. She stared at me for a while and then smiled innocently, looking like a child caught stealing candy.  
"I know eavesdropping isn't nice, but do you have any idea how loud your phone is?" she exclaimed with a high-pitched voice, looking more nervous than I was used in her. She must've felt really bad about listening to my conversations.  
I picked out a dress I still had from last year, not too formal but not too casual, and set on my way. The dinner was in one of the halls in the main building, close to where the council meeting were. It was designed like a huge fancy diner with some room for music and what was supposingly a dancefloor, but was barely ever used. There were several halls like that in the building, and this was one of the smaller ones.  
I walked through the streets of Court. The sun was about to rise and the air was pleasantly warm. The week light actually made a pretty romantic effect, as did the fact that everything was prety empty for the usually very busy Court. It was a nice walk, and I wished it was the only reason I set outside, instead of having to go to that meeting of devils.  
I made good time even with the lingering, I was even a bit early. That was when most people came to these things, to get good seats or something. But it was weird that no one was there yet. Everything looked completely empty. Even the lights in the hallway were off, althought they had motion detectors. Which was a bit weird for chandeliers. But that's just how the Court was made. Old and new everywhere.  
The hallway looked a bit scary with all the shadows and in the dark, although I saw well. With the misterious effect and the - I never noticed how much - realistic oil portreits, I felt like in a haunted castle. I was starting to wonder if I'm in the right place. But I was completely sure Lissa told me to come here.  
I hesitantly pulled back the heavy wooden door's huge golden door knob, walking into darkness.  
Suddenly, all the lights turned on. I squinted as the light blinded me.  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" a hall of people who jumped out of nowhere exclaimed.

**I am very sorry for the lack of Eddie in this chapter. I miss him just as much as Jill does and I'm sure you do too. He'll pop up eventually. So please don't give up on the story, even though it's in a bit sad direction right now. Jill didn't give up on herself either, and things are lookin quite promising now. Probably. Still no spoilers for the future chapters ;) So please guys, keep reading and reviewing. I can't tell you when the next chapter comes, but I hope soon. May's gonna be a busy month for me, but I'll try.**


	14. Write Your Own Story

**I'm really sorry for being a bit late with this chapter, it's just that I'm so busy with school these days because the year is coming to an end and as always you have to do most things in the last second. I'd love to have writing for my first priority, but it's impossible at the moment **** It also took a little while because I think this is the longest chapter till now. Thank you for the new reviews! Please keep reviewing, because it honestly means the world to me to know you read my story… I own nothing, Richelle Mead does, and there are spoilers. I'm also sorry for mistakes. And the most important part: I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

My jaw fell and I just stared there quiet in disbelief for a few seconds. Then I bursted out laughing. "Oh, my God," I said almost histerically. My friends came closer to me. Maybe they have before, I just didn't notice because of the shock. A surprise birthday party! I couldn't believe it. It's never happened to me before.  
"So that's what you've been hiding from me," I told Adrian. He gave me a mischievous grin.  
"You didn't guess?" he asked. I shook my head, still chuckling.  
"I had no idea!" I couldn't believe I didn't notice. Although I wasn't really in mood for noticing things lately. "Well, I didn't care about anything."  
"Yeah, I know. We were hoping to cheer you up a bit," he replied. "But you did a pretty good job with that yourself."  
"I almost gave the party up like half an hour ago!" Rose laughed.  
"You all knew?" I asked with a new disbelief. Of course, they were all there, grining wildly, they all loved me.  
Well, Eddie wasn't there. But I wasn't going to let that bring me down.  
"Of course we all did! We were all a part of this," Christian said.  
"It was Adrian's idea, though," Lissa admitted.  
"The credit goes to the one who makes the idea reality," Adrian said with a wise voice. "Which is me, so. You're welcome."  
"Aren't you one modest person," I scoffed and dragged them all into a big group hug. My eyes were kind of tearing up. For the first time in too long, the tears weren't coming from misery.  
"Since we know how much you love the kind other royals, we didn't invite those," Sydney told me.  
"Yeah, you guys love those too," I teased. "Sure, definetly," they all replied whining.  
"Well, anyway, only friends and family," said Adrian, nodding towards the tables where the rest of the guests were sitting. I glanced around the hall, seeing faces that looked familiar everywhere, but I was too shocked to recongnise them. My parents got up at the mention of family.  
"What?" I exclaimed with my lips wildly curling up. I could somehow process the thought of a surprise party, but my parents? They came here? I was amazed.  
"Yes, that goes under family," Christian said. "Including Liss over here," he remarked, hugging her over the shoulders as he spoke. They were always around each other.  
"But you don't know all that goes under friends yet," Rose said cheerfully. I was about to ask but didn't. A few people from my eariler life got up. My old friends, from Detroit, St. Vladimir's and so on. Not from Amberwood, unfortunately. You couldn't bring humans to the Court. But those people did include...  
Luke.  
"Wait, they even brought you here? From Pentisuala?" I asked.  
"Well, you see me, don't you. Yes, princess, they brought me," he chuckled and swept me into his arms. I barely realized how much time'd passed since we last saw each other. It was almost a month, but it felt like a few days.  
It took me an hour just to greet all the guests I hadn't seen in forever. As I was about to sit down and eat something (because all the food on the tables looked really delicious), my friends - Court friends, because there were many here - announced one last surprise. The person who was that last surprise obviously knew it, because I noticed some moving in the back of the room. A well known face neared me. I missed her as the first wave of people came, but didn't say anything. Of course I should've known they were too brilliant to forget about anyone.  
"Aimeeeee!" I squealed and hugged her tight, happier than I could imagine I'd be, especially after they'd already cheered me up to the max. I couldn't believe I saw my best friend after a year. We've been in contact over the past months, and I still called her oftenly, but it just wasn't the same anymore. It was different seeing her in person. I missed her, even though she didn't know everything about everything anymore. She didn't, for example, know the hot mess Eddie and I were. But I knew I could trust her with that. We'd debated my crush on Adrian a thousand times while at St. Vladimir's. I was just starting to relize how much of my old life I'd simply cut out.  
"I could barely keep quiet for so long," Aimee shrieked, her gray eyes shining. She was just as excited as me. "But your friends told me it has to be a surprise. I totally get that. I would've otherwise called you for your birthday, but seeing you is so much better. You can't imagine how horribly I've missed you!"  
We both couldn't stop talking at all for a few minutes. It was one of the things we had in common. The rest of my friends just stared and laughed. They had no idea how good we were at rambling. Our conversations could take hours, make no sense and never get boring. And now we had about a thousand things to talk about.  
Our endless talking was interrupted with another guest joining us. It was my party, so of course, I had to accept them. Lissa came to call me for that reason. I was a bit annoyed about leaving Aimee after not seeing her for so long, and surprised, because I just didn't know who else could come. Almost everyone I knew and loved was already here, in one room. But I still had to accept the new guest, whoever it was.  
Unlike me, my friends already knew who joined us. At least according to their faces. "Damn, I didn't think he'd show up," I caught from a thought Adrian couldn't hide from me. I should've known who it was.  
And I recognised him the moment I turned around to go towards the door. My jaw fell. I shared Adrian's thoughts; I certinately did not expect him here. I didn't even know if I wanted him here.  
It was Eddie.  
Before I knew it we were standing face to face. One look in his astonishing brown eyes, those depths of hypnotising color that make me lose myself in one moment, brought back all the despair I'd walked out of so succesfully. But I was also so amazingly, unbelievably happy to see him it didn't seem possible he was the one who crushed me into pieces. Seeing his perfect, angel-like features, it also seemed phisically impossible he was capable of that.  
It took me a month to take one little step away from him and be happy with it, now one look from his eyes pushed me several feet back again. No matter what I wanted, no matter what I told myself, he still had me on my knees.  
"Happy birthday," he said quietly. Oh, his voice! I'd missed it so much! So warm and soft, sweeter to me than any music, the sound I wanted to fall asleep to, I wanted to wake up with that voice whispering into my ear. Why did he have to tourture me so bad?  
We never dropped eyecontact in the few second when all those thoughs raced through my brain. We couldn't. I was glued to him. I couldn't look away. And now, taking a step through my own agony, I saw the despair in his eyes as well. I recognised the sad tone in his voice. His look was tired and the smile on his face was so faint, barely covering a month of frowns that never went away. He was hurt too. I couldn't even be mad at him.  
I could only feel how desperately agonizingly horribly I miss him. And suddenly, with no way I could stop it, my own voice, filled with one month's tears, rung in my mind: "I miss you. I miss your face, and your eyes, and most of all, I miss your smile. The kind that could make my whole day. I miss your laugh. Any kind of it. When you're trying to hold it back, because it's something ridiculous I did and you don't want to insult me, or just because you're so restrained and you want control of yourself. But I miss your real laugh even more. The kind where your lips just find their way up your cheeks and you do nothing but laugh. When it's just the two of us, and you don't hold back, don't care and your eyes tell me you're happy. But honestly? I already missed that laugh before I lost you. I miss you, Eddie. I miss you a lot."  
But it stayed in my mind. I didn't say any of this. It took so much restraining, the kind of restraining he'd be proud of if he knew. Well, who says he didn't? He could always see through me. Those words in my head were so true it hurt me. That was part of a reason I didn't say them. Before I lost him. It was over now. I've come too far, I've been hurt too many times, and I've learned that he won't change his mind. At least I couldn't make him. Which was right. It was his mind. And I've learned that... I'd be okay without him too. It would take a while, but it was worth it. I couldn't be that... that addicted to a person. It wouldn't even be healthy to be depending on him that much. I needed my own strenght. Mental too, not just physical.  
And thinking this way, I realized, was the first step towards it.  
"Thanks. And thanks for coming," I said finally, breaking the silence that was neither pleasing nor truly uncomfortable. A sincere, wide smile drew on my face as I said those words. Like a giant weight fell off of my shoulders because I wasn't dependent anymore. It was a small win. I didn't need him.  
I spent the rest of the party as light as a feather. The energy of everyone around me fueled me and I felt amazing.  
Only minutes after Eddie's arrival they brough the cake. He could sure pick his timing. By shape and size it kind of reminded me of a wedding cake. "But that's why it's called a sweet sixteen," Adrian told me. This party was also my official sweet sixteen party, as they said, and I didn't mind at all. I never wanted a big party, so I was happy this was the way they made it.  
The music was taken care of too, first just on the stereo, then, as a present, even Smoking Blue performed, since all the other members came too. And like in the restaurant that night, we all danced. Me with most of my male friends and some of the girls too. It didn't matter with who really, it was just about having a good time. Everyone got their turn.  
Except...  
I saw Eddie sitting by one of the tables, all alone and kind of sad. Our eyes met for a second, but he looked away immediately.  
Why did he even come?  
I kind of understood him by now. I saw the reasons for his fear. Royals were a battle you couldn't win. No matter what you did, someone had something to gossip about, someone would judge you. But I didn't understand how could he put that above the ones he loved. Like me. He loved me, right? That was what everyone claimed. Including him. But he never really proved it.  
Later we were siting by one of the tables, eating each our tenth piece of the cake, and Sydney asked me about my hair. After rooming with me for so long at Amberwood, she knew the problems it always caused me, and the difference was probably quite obvious. Rose explained she took me to see Ambrose, making everyone at the table smirk, especially the ones that were sitting opposite to me.  
Adrian's eyebrows rose. "So I'm getting some competition? Challenge accepted," he said with a pretend-to-be-jelous tone, reffering to the time I named him my official hair stylist. He only failed because he was too close to laughing out loud. My friends found everything that had to do with me and guys hilarious. Sometimes I still felt like they took me as a child.  
"Yeah, not only with styling my hair. Ambrose is disturbingly attractive," I said excitedly, unable to hold myself. Thinking back at him, it was indeed true.  
A sudden noise behind me startled me to the point where I almost fell off my chair. As if I didn't have enough experience in that already. I turned around to see what happened and faced Eddir and some girl, a dhampir, who were leaning over a fallen-over chair. The girl was laughing and Eddie looked devastated. He shot me an apologizing glance and looked away immediately, before he could notice that my lip corners were twitching too. I assumed he was responisble for the chair falling over. It was very unlike him to be this coordinated and... Well, clumsy, until they get a better word for it.  
Unless...  
Was he jelous? Because I commented Ambrose like that? Did the jelousy make him knock a chair over? I was definetly capable of something like that while being jelous at the coconut bra girl and the Barbie gone bad. And most of my friends laughing and smirking were sitting opposite of me, where they could see him and whatever it was he was doing before the noise. Were they laughing at him?  
But Eddie was never like me.  
Oh, God, I'll never get guys!  
I wished I could just talk to him, like I used to. The distance between us bothered me. A small part of me promised myself that even when I'd be over him completely, I'd still give it a chance if he ever changed his mind...  
Maybe that was just what I told myself because I wasn't ready to cut him out of my life completely.  
"Jill?" Lissa asked. Her worried tone told me she hasn't said it for the first time. I gave her an expectant nod. "I hope you realize Ambrose is too old for you. I know it's annoying, but it's mostly about your public appearance..."  
"As if I don't know that," I said quitely. I only listened with one ear, partly because I already knew what she was telling me - I mean, the whole thing was just a joke - and mostly because my attention was wandering to Eddie.  
Did he react the way he did because of me? How did he actually react? Was that girl just an innocent witness or... Was he spending his time with her now that I was gone?  
Stop this, I told myself. It doesn't matter. And after everything he told you, it probably has nothing to do with you.  
I did manage to keep my mind off of him, especially after he left early. The rest of us stayed long past midnight. The night passed without any further complications. As the morning was nearing, we barely kept on our feet and it was about time to go home. The cleaning was left for the next day. I was firmly decided to help with that, princesss or not. It was my party after all.  
"I feel like I can't thank you guys enough for this. It was the best sweet sixteen I could imagine," I said as we were leaving. Adrian stifleda yawn and gave me a worn-out smile.  
"It was enough of a thank you to see the smile on your face," he told me.  
Aimee stayed in my room. Of course, it wouldn't make sense to come from a different state just to leave at 3 am after a day. And I was really excited to have her there, because we still had a lot to catch up with. The fact that we hadn't distanced in all that time made me happier than I could imagine.  
"Are you okay with sleeping on the couch? The room still has one bed, but you can get it if you want," I told her. She only stroke her hand: "No, no, I'm completely okay with the couch. A couch at Court is probably more comfortable than all the beds at St. Vladimirs."  
Her eyes were glittering with awe and I suddenly realized how excited she must be. Not only because of seeing me. Back at the academy, we both dreamed of going to the Court. It was like... I don't know, Hollywood to humans. Now, when it was basically my primary residence, it just didn't seem so great anymore. But I didn't want to ruin it for her.  
"Except for Kirova's bed maybe," I remarked. We both laughed. Most of the students always had something to say about our headmistress, mostly because she was so strict, which made us accuse her of many things she really wasn't, like haughtiness.  
"But they might as well give me double room here. You have no idea how many people have slept on this couch in the last month," I sighed, not realizing what I actually said until I saw Aimee's face getting red. "That's not what I meant!" I exclaimed promptly as she finally bursted our laughing. Her suddenly face turned back serious.  
"I know you didn't mean that. What's up with you and Eddie?" she asked. I'd smile if she asked me about anything else. My best friend, after a year she still knew me like the back of her hand.  
"Well... Wait, how do you know he's Eddie?" I asked, suddenly realizing I hadn't even introduced her to half of my friends yet. Although, seeing what secret plans they were making behind my back, she probably already knew all of them. But I highly doubted Eddie was a part of planning the party.  
Aimee's eyes turned big, filled with a weird dismay.  
"I know all of their names. Don't you remember when you first met Rose and then started to train with Christian? You met all of them gradually and told me each of their names and we were both so freaked out about the fact that the biggest names at our school - and now Court - actually know who you are. Don't you remember the night Adrian first walked you back to our room and we both shrieked so hard at the fact of seeing him alone that he came back to check if anyone attacked us?" she asked with a grim voice, leaving me speechless.  
They were my heroes - people I couldn't imagine remembering my name. Now they were like family to me. Screw that, Lissa was my family. I was one of them. And I knew Aimee was afraid of losing me to them, leaving her to fangirl about them alone. Except that if I left her for them, it would probably leave too bitter of a taste to keep that kind of awe for them.  
But I'd never leave her for them!  
"Of course I remember that," I said gently. I had no other words.  
"I still almost freaked out when Adrian called me to come," she continued with a bitter laugh. "They really love you. And they're really nice."  
"I know," I said, staring blankly at the space in front of me. "It's gonna be hard leaving them when I go back to St. Vladimirs in three weeks."  
I broke the news to her this casually on purpuse, but I still squinted at her when finishing my sentance. So I wasn't completely dumbfounded when she hugged me even stronger than at the party, squealing happily. If I didn't see it coming she would've knocked me off the couch, but this way I could return her embrace properly.  
Then I told her the whole Eddie story without leaving a single detail, not even his muscles under the wet shirt. Her reactions were very appropriate, including the thread to throw a brick at him after I concluded.  
She always had that kind of hilarious comments that cheered the room up. That's why she was always the popular one of us. How pretty she was also helped. I'd always been a bit envious of her flawless straight platinum blond hair and her beautiful grey eyes, or I better said admired that in her. So did the guys. But she never bragged about it. She was just the one invited to the cool parties, and she always had a good word for me, allowing her to bring me with. That's how I got a lot of my friends. But the royals - the ones our age - still mostly chose her over me, probably because of her looks.  
Then I met Rose, turned princess and boom, I was the one with the connections.  
But that never mattered between us, because we were friends simply due to getting along. She got me and I got her.  
And once again, even though I wouldn't have wanted that for her, we were in the same place. Once she filled me in with her life in the past year, it was clear she still wasn't over Brett. Or, maybe over wasn't the right word. She kept repeating what a jerk he is and that she'd rather die than be with him again, which I believed. First because she was always an honest person, true to her words no matter what, and second because he begged her to take him back a thousand times. According to what she told me, that still wasn't over.  
Brett Ozera was one of the royals our age who liked her. He always seemed like a nice guy, and when he asked her out she agreed gladly. They had a somewhat perfect fluffy romance for two months or so. I still don't know if it was all an illusion or did he change to worse. The beggining of the end was when he got beaten up - we still didn't know who was responsible for it. Then he became different, more hollow and, well, mean. And then I caught her kissing that girl, Christine Lazar, as my diary reminded me a few weeks ago. Aimee didn't believe me at first, but only days later she caught him herself - with a third girl. She left him irrevocably, but after more than a year, she was still bitter about it and didn't trust guys.  
Which was basically a good thing. Guys weren't to be trusted most of the time. Of course she realized it. She was, besides her looks and personality, also a very clever girl. Her and Sydney alone could refute the dumb blondes stereotypes.  
But not all guys were garbage. Some were emotinally scarred, like Eddie (the best expression I could think of) and some were really just good people. I needed to change her opinion to better once I'd return to St. Vladimir's.  
Then we shared the other, general news and I told her about my bomd with Adrian. At first she was a bit hurt she hadn't found out before, but she understood as I explained I couldn't tell anyone.  
In the end we both ended up sleeping on the couch. I assumed that at some point we just fell down asleep. The next day I showed her around the Court, which was a bit difficult, since she wasn't the only guest we had right now. Most of them left sooner, only Aimee, my parents and Luke with his band stayed. I got all of them to help me help the staff clean the hall the party was in, just as I promised.  
I spent most time with my best friend, obviously, but when I took time for my parents, whom I was also very happy to see, I tried to get her to spend some time with Luke. I felt guilty about both of them and I wanted them to be happy. They deserved each other. Luke was certinately a guy among the ones that were just good people.  
Unfortunately nothing happened during the three days they spent here. Maybe it was for the best, considering the distance. And they probably weren't really focusing on each other, since they were both having their first time at Court.  
I was quite occupied even after they left. But I quite liked it, because, again, I had no time to miss Eddie. I wasn't drowning anymore, but it would still be more than great to keep him in my life.  
Anyways, Lissa stopped tourturing me with those dinners every single day. She had no more reason to keep me busy because I did it myself now. And even those few times we still had to attend because of the protocol weren't that agonizing for me anymore. I didn't like them, but I also didn't feel sorry for myself the wjole time. I started to look at life more optimisticaly.  
At one of those dinners Lissa brought up a subject I'd forgotten about long ago.  
"Yesterday I saw Ariana Szelsky and asked her about that Dragomir ring," she told me. I looked at her with interest, noticing she didn't look very keen. I knew instantly there were probably no news about the ring's location. Or at least no good news. But I asked her what she found out anyway.  
"Well," she started carefully. "The good news is that she confirmed the ring's existance. She told me she even saw it a few times, and that our guess that my grandpa had it is correct. It's also golden, the same design as the Ivashkov one, except that it has an emerald in the place od the ruby. So we know what to look for." She paused and glanced at the floor. I knew her well ebough by now to know what came next, but she hesitated.  
"And what's the bad news?" I asked.  
"Well, it's not that bad, because the ring is not a matter of life and death," she said. "The thing is that my grandpa gave it to my - and your - dad before he died. Ariana and I agreed that he probably always kept such a precious thing with him, so after he died, since almost no one knew about it... Well, the ring was probably buried with him." She refused to look at me and I could tell that she was dissappointed.  
"So it's lost?" I asked quitely.  
"Yeah," she replied sadly. "I mean, it's not worth that much. We're not going to dig into the grave for it."  
Moroi, always holding on to traditions, were mostly buried in coffins instead of urns, especially royals. So we could suppose the ring survived.  
"But they probably changed him before the funeral. Don't you think he kept it in a pocket or...?" I was ridiculously clinging to hope. The ring didn't even really matter than much.  
"Then whoever took care of the clothes probably kept it, not even knowing what he owns," she said. Her eyes were sad. I didn't excpect my always so proffesional and positive sister to be so upset about this.  
"I mean, it's not like it's that important," she quickly defended herself. She must've been realizing the same thing I was, although I didn't say anything. Maybe it was in my aura. I hoped she knew I didn't judge her for it.  
"It's just that... I don't know, every single ruler in our family wore it. This way, I feel like I could be more connected to them. And I already broke all the traditions just by beeing the Queen. I though I'd at least keep this one. And... I know it's not very likely that's true, but Ariana also told me the ring was compelled. Like we read, this is a really old tradition and I couldn't even replicate that kind of compultion. It was even made on gold, which I have no idea how to do. Well, that compultion was centered at the person wearing it - for them to be a better monarch. Everything's falling apart, I haven't achieved almost anything in a year, except for the quorum, and I feel like maybe it could help me be a better Queen. I don't actually believe this stuff, but..."  
Lissa avoided my gaze again. I began to understand how was it possible that we were sisters. Or at least where I'd gotten my over-talkative skills from. I had to respond to this emotional outpour. First thing first.  
"Sis, you are not a bad Queen," I began, making her muster a wan smile. I never though I'd be the one comforting her.  
"Do you have any idea how big of an achievement it is just to be crowned at 18? Those other over achievers only hurry with changing the constitution because they have like ten years of life left. You have a full lifetime." She smiled again, this time in a more cheerful way.  
"Unless I get assassinated first," she remarked. I snorted. "As if Rose's gonna let that happen."  
I continued my earlier pep talk: "Anyway, I get you wanting to have the ring. I mean, the late Queen had to have some reason to reach out for me. It must be important in some way. And you saw how many things no one believed turned out true. Spirit. Coming back from death. Ghosts. An eighteen-year-old Queen. Restoring Strigoi. Human-Moroi relationships. Angeline apologizong." She chuckled.  
"So I understand you wanting that ring. But maybe you could actually replicate it - what if you study the other rings? They still exist, don't they? Call Sonya and Adrian with you, you guys will figure something out. It won't be the same, but it will be something," I sad, losing track of where I was going with this. But it seemingly made sense to Lissa.  
"Yeah, you're right. I'll do that. Thanks!" she gushed and dissappeared somewhere for the next ten minutes. The night was coming to an end anyway.  
The next day I finally found the time to call Christian and Mia for magic practise. After a fighting lesson with Neil, of course. Christian and I agreed to go to Mia's and then head to the spacious distanced meadow where we'd already practised last summer. It still wasn't completely legal, so it was better to move away from the curious looks a little bit. And Mia was living in a part of Court that was closer to that meadow than us, the 'Creme de la Creme' of Moroi. Oh, how I hated that.  
Well, it wasn't that far, and Christian and I made a nice walk out of it. It took a while for Mia to open, and as soon as she showed up at the door I knew why.  
Eddie was there.  
Of course, he left the moment he saw us - me. Or maybe Mia told him it was us before. He greeted us completely casually before dissappearing, but I saw the blush on his cheeks. How could I miss it? It was adorable.  
I must've blushed as well, because I suddenly felt Christian's hand on my shoulder pulling me closer. "I wouldn't worry abiut that," he whispered into my ear. Did I look that jelous? "I did the exact same thing to Lissa when I was trying to make her jelous."  
I laughed, but Eddie was doing a hell of a good job, because I felt a sting of that jelousy in my chest. At least I had no time to start missing him since I saw him more now.  
"He didn't have to leave just because we got here," I told Mia, trying to sound calm and selfless.  
"You'd actually prefer him to stay, wouldn't you?" Christian teased. I blushed once more. I didn't even know if he was right! If Eddie had stayed, it would've been very awkward, but I'd lie - again - if I said I didn't miss him. I guess the truth was there was good in him staying and in him leaving.  
"I don't care about him," I said evasively. At least that was a complete lie. Christian gave me a knowing look and Mia gazed at me in surprise.  
"Am I missing something?" she asked curiously. She blushed right away too. After having some bad experience in that, I knew she didn't want to get in other people's bussiness.  
"Oh, you're missing a lot," Christian replied with an emphasis on basically every word. Mia shrugged and gave me an apologetic look.  
"Well, I can assure you there's nothing between me and Eddie, at least nothing I know about," she told me. I was about to say I'm not worried anyway, but I rather bit my lip. They weren't buying it anyway.  
The meadow was different than I recalled. It wasn't that much of a meadow anymore, there was almost no grass. And the small patches that remained were all dried up and brown. The rest was just bare ground. As hot as this summer was, I doubted it was that hot.  
"Oh," Christian said, noticing my surprised look. "There might have been something like a small fire here in September." He spoke so casually I was pretty sure the fire wasn't just something he heard about.  
Magic was, as always, an amazingly refreshing activity. Mia showed me a few things as well, not quite as big as the draining and ice crystals Christian taught me in Hawaii, but almost more efficent and useful. She was a water user, you know. I was also struggeling to get better at changing water to ice or steam. Mia and I agreed ice was the best way to attack someone, because it was stiffer and easier to keep in shape. But it was harder to create and wield.  
"Let me show you this," Mia said and summomed something like a cylinder of ice out of the water we were both wielding. Christian stepped aside in the process. He'd lost interest to evaporate our water to tease us a while ago, because we'd just gotten too good at changing it back, so now he was just watching. Mia held her cylinder into her hand and showed me its tip. It was sharply carved out, like the tip of of a silver stake. A weapon out of nowhere.  
"How did you do that?" I exclaimed zealously. Mia chuckled. "I wanted a weapon as deadly as a stake or fire. And so, I practised a lot. It was really hard to get ice into this shape instantly at first, but after you do it once, you can do it in your sleep."  
I decided to give it a shot. It was difficult, since I was used to a softer material, and my cylinder looked more like a failed cube. With no sharp edges. I groaned, but Mia encouraged me to try again. She said the same thing'd happened to her the first time. So I gave another try, forming something a bit more oval now. Stimulated by that fact, I refused to give up on my bunch of weirdly shaped ice, so I tried to push it closer together, to re-shape it and form a sharp tip. I felt myself sweating and breathing heavily in the process, because I was putting so much strenght into it. The feeling reminded me on the time when I tried to move a table I later realized was nailed to the floor. Plenty of strength with no use.  
Finally, I figured out how to press the ice right, and it narrowed right in front of me. I squealed in joy and kept going. The shape was becoming more cylinder-like. But the volume was shrinking. I realized that couldn't be good, because the ice would get just too dense. As that thought hit me, it exploded into thousands of sharp little crystals. They flew into all directions possible.  
Christian shrieked behind me. I turned around and realized some of the crystals also flew his way. He reacted in a decently fast way, sending a wave of fire at them to melt them. They left wet drops on his T-shirt, but he couldn't stop all of them. Mostly his forearm that he'd put up in a defense reaction suffered. As I neared him, I could see hundreds of little bleeding cuts on it.  
"Gosh, I'm so sorry! I had no idea that would happen!" I couldn't believe my failed stubborn attempt ended up injuring him.  
"I know, I know. But I think you just found a new weapon," he replied with a mischievious grin. I found it a bit surprising he was that eager, since this discovery costed a fair amount of his blood. Mia was equally impressed, and we agreed we'd try that again later. With better protection, of course. It basically went by the same principale as Christian's "pepper spray", except that it did more damage.  
But right in that moment, we took a break, at least for Christian's bleeding to stop. Mia told us she'd go pick some s nacks back to her place. And maybe some first aid equipment. I told Christian what Lissa'd learned about the Dragomir ring while waiting. He listened carefully, especially when I told him how upset she seemed. She'd probably tell him herself otherwise, but since she was crowned, I knew they barely ever still had the time to talk.  
"Damn shame," he remarked when I finished. I nodded and grimaced.  
"What are you talking about?" Mia asked. I noticed she's just joined us again. She was eating a sandwich and she offered one to each of us. I gladly accepted. So did Christian.  
"Oh, just some thing called the Dragomir ring," I replied, stroking my hand. Mia's jaw fell.  
"Do you know anything about it?" Christian asked promptly, noticing her reaction. She nodded.  
"Yeah, I know the monarch wears his or her family's ring. And I know Andre had it." Christian and I both gasped. "What?!" we exclaimed at the same time.  
"Yeah, his dad - Eric - let him have it since he was so sure he was never going to be the King. Andre didn't know yet, of course. But he kept it. He always had it with him, and he told me about it and even showed it to me while we... Dated..." she said and exhaled. I knew her well enough to know this was a painful subject for her.  
"Thank you so much," I breathed. Mia gave me a wan smile. I couldn't wait to tell Lissa.  
Christian, although no less excited about this than me, pushed the entusiasm down and focused back on the training. He realized there was nothing he could do about it right now, since we were here. He got up and clapped his hands. "Okay, so we could..."  
"Jailbait, you gotta come see this," I heard through the bond. Christian by then finished his sentance about begining to train again, and I shook my head to him. "Something's going on in front of the palace. Adrian's calling me."  
"This might he interedting for Ozera too," Adrian mind-added.  
"Come with me," I told Christian and Mia. They followed me suprised, but with no further questions. Which was good, because I wouldn't be able to answer them. I didn't know what's going on as well.  
It turned out I wasn't the only one. There was a smaller crowd where the bond led me and Adrian was almost in the center of it. I surged towards him and found him, Lissa and Rose talking to a guy who seemed familiar to me. I couldn't remember where I remember him from, but I knew I'd seen his blue eyes before.  
Then it hit me. I hadn't been in quite that much contact with him when we last met, but he had the same features as his sister I knew better, so there was no doubt who he was. I asked anyway.  
"Are you Reed Lazar?"  
"Yes, he is. I don't generally like Lazars, but this is so weird that I... Anyway, don't get too close to him. Remember the last time," Adrian mind-messaged me. Before Reed'd been taken to wherever he'd been taken, he'd been quite agressive towards me when I argued with his sister. We later learned those were the consequenses of him being shadow-kissed and Avery, his sister, using him.  
Reed nodded and gave me a quick smile. It looked like he's been doing that for a few minutes now, because, well, everyone kmew what'd happened to him and no one believed he was the Reed Lazar. But then, glancing at me, he did a double take. He caught the hold of my hand and pulled me closer.  
"And you're Jill Mastrano," he breathed, looking like a memory of a nightmare crossed his mind.  
An uneasy feeling through the bond told me Adrian was far from happy about Reed's actions. After Avery and Blake, he really had no reason to like the Lazar family.  
"She's Jill Mastrano Dragomir, and you leave her alone," he hissed at Reed and pulled me back towards him again. He was the one to protect me as well when the first incident happened. Honestly, I found it cute how protective he always was over me. And I knew I was the same, in times like when Sydney refused to date him, or when Rose cheated on him.  
Reed grimaced, looking geniuelly sorry.  
"Calm down, Adrian, he didn't mean any harm, neither now nor back then," I said softly. "He was just facing the effects of being shadow-kissed, you know we can relate to that."  
"Exactly, I was just about to apologize for that when I recognised you," Reed said, giving me a grateful smile. Adrian nodded and let go of me reluctantly, but kept an eye on us anyway. I couldn't blame him.  
"Ever since I started to think normally again, I've been apologizing to people I was agressive towards for no special reason, just because Avery made me," Reed told me, still with that apologetic expression. I didn't miss how harsh his voice became when he said his sister's name.  
"Okay, okay, I forgive you. As I told Adrian before, I completely understand what you were going through," I chuckled. Reed smiled, then, once again, gave me an astonished look. I kept surprising him. He quickly overcame that surprise, though, and a grim expression snuck on his face.  
"You can't know what happened to me. Not unless-"  
"I can. I'm shadow-kissed," I said cheerfuly. His eyes popped out. "Of course not in the way you were," I continued. "But Adrian brought me back to life."  
Reed still looked surprised, but I wasn't done yet: "So I know the bond doesn't just go away. What happened?"  
"Well..." he wavered. "While we were in that mental hospital, the three of us, I wasn't really aware of anything. Like an empty shell, you know? I just sat there and did nothing and I barely even remember. There was nothing on my mind. The nurses had to lead me of they wanted to get me somewhere. One day, when they were taking me... I don't remember where, I fell down some stairs and crashed my head or something... I didn't even feel the pain, they thought I'd die, but I healed completely. Mentally and phisically. And the bond's gone." It was kind of awkward for him to talk about it, but he smiled after saying the last sentance. I was sure it really was great for him to be free again.  
We got involved into a conversation, the kind that led from the effects of being shadow-kissed to everyday life. The crowd surrounding him vanished in the mean time. He told me he's staying with his father at Court until school starts again. "That's when I'm going back to St. Vladimir's. I should graduate this year, but I missed one, so I'm a senior now."  
"I'm going back to St. Vladimir's too!" I exclaimed happily. I was glad we were going to the same school, because he seemed nice.  
Thinking back at St. Vladimir's, I remembered Angeline telling me Trey needed a job there, or somewhere near, so that they could stay together. Actually, he needed a job specifically there, because there was no life near the academy.  
A shriek interrupted my thoughs. As I turned around startled, I realized it was more of a shriek of joy, namely when Mia saw Jesse. Now I remembered fleetingly that she'd mentioned they were dating. I also saw Eddie standing next to them like a heap of misery. I realized he'd probably been talking to Mia until Jesse came. Our eyes met for a second, his filled with a regret I wasn't used to. I thought, though it was hard for him, that he was standing firmly behind his decision. Also, the pain in his eyes reflected mine. I looked away before either of us could break. And because it was too painful. What'd happened was right. In a way. I guess.  
That was the last memorable event in the next few days. I spent quite a lot of time with Reed, partly because we were going to the same school and mostly because I felt some kind of connection between us since the first time we talked, probably coming from us both being shadow-kissed. I mean, I really had no hard time with the bond, even all the negative effects stopped and I didn't even take over spirit anymore, because there was more or less nothing to take over. But Reed and I could still relate.  
Even Adrian began to trust him a bit more, after I promised to be careful. I really was. I looked for signs anything he was telling us isn't true, but there were no signs. Lissa and Adrian both also checked his aura and said it looked completely normal.  
"Well, it still looks a little dark, which is weird if he's not shadow-kissed anymore," Adrian noted. I shrugged at his words. "That's probably because it makes sense there would be some emotional consequences after being basically used as a puppet by his own sister for God knows how long."  
Other than that, Adrian was still blocking himself from me every now and then. And unlike when I cared about nothing, I was a bit worried about what's going on. But he refused to tell me. He said he was just arranging the things that were to do after the party, and didn't want me to do or know anything because it was a surprise and sort of a present. I didn't completely buy that, but as long as there was nothing notable, I couldn't do anything about it. I mean, I could use all of my strenght to break into his thoughts, but I doubted it was that important.  
I still didn't completely shake off the theory about him convincing Eddie to change his mind. Maybe that was the reason he disliked Reed so much, because I had to admit he acted kind of flirty with me from time to time... But I refused to give him any wrong signals. It didn't bring me far with Luke, and I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship since I still wasn't over Eddie.  
And speaking of Eddie... I, once again, barely ever saw him. I missed him all the time, and not only the kissing-and-a-bit-more part, the part of us being friends as well. Maybe I'd said I had a connection with Reed, but that was nothing to what was between me and Eddie. Chemistry? It was too mild of an expression. We just got along, and he understood me when no one else could. Sometimes words weren't even neccessary. Like the time in the hotel when he just climbed into my bed and held me until I cried it out. He knew what I needed.  
And I got him as well as he got me. Sometimes I asked my friends who had more track of what's going on with him, because they didn't have the weird twisted rule of not speaking to each other with him, and I guessed in most cases. I knew he was miserable too. No matter how much I blamed him in the beginning, I knew with no doubt he was sorry about what happened too. He just believed it was right.  
And I... I didn't know what to believe. All I knew is that I'm far from being over him. Still. I couldn't forget him, even though he was practically out of my life now. Although that was more of a tourture than reassure.  
There was one single time we saw each other after Reed's arrival. It was one of the rare rainy days in that summer, otherwise it was at hot as hell. That day it was cold enough to make us wear jackets. It was a devastating action to do in the summer, especially since it was my favorite season, no matter the time I spent in Palm Springs, no matter how much the sun killed me. I didn't even mind the rain, only the cold.  
Sydney and Adrian were at my place that day. As it started to rain, Adrian noticed Eddie pruning the trees next to the river you could see from my window. There were only a few of them, but I guess they'd given him whatever sensless job they could. Lissa wasn't even wrong about gardening. Or whatever pruning trees quilified as.  
"Damn, he can't do that in the rain," Adrian sighed with a worried tone in his voice. 'That' meant he can't qualify pruning as well.  
"I know..." I replied. "But he won't stop unless someone goes tell him." I glanced at him meaningfully as he leaned his head back on the couch. Then, seeing my look, he sat up jerkily. "Oh, you mean me?" I nodded. "Nah, I don't feel like getting up. You could however." His lip corners were twitching and he obviously wasn't as careless and lazy as he pretended to be. But he was doing a pretty good job at hiding his smirk. If I were almost anyone else, I'd never figure it out.  
I arched an eyebrow to him, then gave up with a sigh and turned towards Sydney. I knew Adrian was actually doing this to get me five minutes with Eddie, but he refused to admit it. Like I refused to admit those five minutes would actually be the best moment I'd have all week.  
Sydney gave me a desperat look. She didn't want to lie to me because she cared, but she also wanted to help with the 'plan'. Adrian, seeing her reluctance, helpfully restrained her to the couch with his body, pulling her into a kiss. She blushed amd shrugged at me. "I'm powerless," she said, hiding how hilarious she finds this way worse than Adrian.  
"Oh, and that's not too hard," I said to Adrian with my eyes narrowed. He only shrugged innocently.  
"Fine, I'll go," I groaned. "But I'm taking your jacket." He reached towards me with an incredulous gasp, but gave up almost immediately. I already took his jacket, laying all over the table next to Sydney's that was hung neatly over the chair. Sometimes I still wondered how the two of them ended up together.  
I only took Adrian's jacked because it had a hood. I pulled it over my head while walking towards Eddie through the rainy day. I made quick steps because I wanted to get there as soon as possible and then go back inside, to my warm and dry room. The sounds of Eddie's gardening scissors clenching and opening reached me when I was still far away. I didn't hear them when we were feet apart anymore because he stopped the work, looking at me in surprise.  
"Jill?" he asked. I nodded and pulled out a lock of hair to convince him. He chuclled softly, almost killing me in the proccess.  
"You're not actually going to work in this weather, are you?" I asked. He shrugged.  
"Well, I have to get it done. That's what my supervisors told me," he said and wiped the raindrops off his forehead. I was horrified to realize he was only wearing a soaking wet T-shirt.  
"Okay, tell your supervisors that the Dragomir princess told you to get home and dry up before you freeze," I said decisivly, in the bossy royal look-who-I-am tone. I think I was pretty convincing, but he, as much as he knew me, knew I was dying inside from having to play the I'm-the-princess card.  
"Alright, if you say so," he said with a small smile on his face. "Thanks." I only returned his smile and left.  
And that was it. We'd spoked three sentances in five weeks. I really had some good reasons to miss him, but I was still trying to push the dark thoughts away. And I felt a lot better than before my birthday. Every once in a while I was still forced to attend all kinds of royal activities.  
And I still practised magic and fighting. Mia and Christian were well above my level and they sometimes got so caught up in the fighting that I just stood there. One day, when Christian was winning, I thought of something. I created a small cloud and made a small storm above his head. Mia and I kind of teamed up, both water users. Christian's reaction to the rain above his head made my day. Mia and I laughed until our stomachs hurt.  
Once I thought of bringing Neil to the magic practise, so that we could do two things at the same time. Since then we combined the two as often as we could, because Mia and Christian were both eager about physical fighting too. It surprised me, seeing how much Neil always tried to protect me, how seriously he took this and what a good instructor he was.  
Reed joined us a few times too. Things actually turned pretty realistic at those times, seeing as there were four of us and we had three different element. Reed was an earth user.  
And so, the days passed happily but with a bitter taste, and before I knew it, it was the day before my departure back to St. Vladimir's Academy. Lissa and I agreed I'd leave a week before class starts, so that I could adapt well to the rythem of the school again. Angeline and Trey were coming with me. Trey in the end got into a nearby college. He decided to study history. Sydney told me it didn't surprise her, because he was the best student in their class before she came to Amberwood. But that was just Sydney - always the best at everything she did.  
Reed was going to the academy the same day and with the same private jet, although we weren't really going together. A few other students spent the summer at Court with their families as well. All of us were going with that jet and Reed was basically just one of them.  
I actually started to pack two days earlier, because I practically had to pack everything I owned. It could be said I was moving. The last day I started to think how funny my life was. I hated packing - and yet I found myself doing it every few weeks nowdays.  
I couldn't be happier when I (with sitting on it, of course) closed the last suitcase. The radio was on the whole time I was packing. Now I turned it off, but a song was stuck in my head bad. I knew it was called Unwritten and the original singer was Natasha Bedingfield, but I felt like it was begging to be sang by me. Except that I couldn't sing very well. I avoided it as much as possible.  
I leaned on the window shelf and said goodbye to the magnificent view with my eyes. The lyrics were still pounding in my head. I couldn't help myself.  
"Staring at the blank page before you,  
Open up the dirty window,  
Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find  
Reaching for something in the distance  
So close you can almost taste it  
Release your inhibitions  
Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten..."

A noise interruped me before I could finish the song. I turned around startled, knowing someone heard me sing. My horror increased when I saw who it was. It was Eddie...  
"Sorry, I... I shouldn't have... It was awful, I... I just had to," I stuttered, the panic in my voice obvious. Eddie didn't have anything against singing, I just never sang in front of him before and I knew I've just embarrased myself completely.  
But that's not what his expression said. He was looking at me almost in awe.  
"No, Jill, don't feel bad. It was beautiful. It's like you're meant to sing..." he breathed. He looked like he just found all the answers in life and there was a weird agony on his face. He always seemed restless, but right now I thought he was going to explode if he doesn't do whatever was on his mind in the next five seconds, except that it looked like he was glued to the floor.  
I was sorry I wasn't turned towards him when he walked in, so that I could know if he already came like that or... Or if it was me who made him like that. It was still just a song.  
"Sorry, I'm out," he chuckled nervously. I also noticed he was more confused than usually as I stared at the door that closed behind him. It turned out I was right a few seconds later when he came back in.  
"Right, I was here because I need to take my things from your room before you leave," he said, anxiously shifting from one foot to another. He was acting really weird, nothing like himself. But I no longer had any right to question that. He came for his things because I was leaving and he wasn't coming with me. He was no longer my guardian. He was officially nothing to me.  
I smiled and let him pass me as he walked towards the closed where most of his things were. It was empty except for those.  
His look turned towards mine while he was leaving the room. He opened his mouth to say something and bumped into the door frame in that moment. "Bye," he said. I gave him a quick nod and turned around before I could start laughing. His lost behaviour was painfully amusing, even when I didn't know the reason for it.  
It hurt me I could practically consider him gone by now, since he would be tomorrow. The worst part was that because of all the complications, after the wonderful friendship we had, we wouldn't even have a decent goodbye. His "bye" was probably the last I'd hear from him for a long time. By then, he'd probably mean nothing to me, even though right now I had a long way of getting over him ahead of me. I thought it would probably go a lot faster when I'd begin my new life.  
I couldn't help but mourn for our relationship. Even if we couldn't be together, our friendship was something not all people could have. Our souls just somehow matched. I wanted him in my life, even if just as a friend. I knew how much I'd miss that. Screw that, I missed it already. But it was too late now. It was over.  
Before such an important day, that certinately wasn't something I wanted to think about. Rather than that, I called back his words into my mind. He said I sang the song well. I didn't know if it was true, but it felt nice to consider it.  
I threw myself on the couch and smiled at the thought about how weird my life actually turned. I had no idea what would happen tomorrow. But I guess it was up to me to make the best out of it. The song I sang ironically matched it.  
"And the rest is still unwritten..."

**I would like you all to know that Jess Hayes helped me with designing Aimee, Jill's best friend on Twitter, and I would also like to thank her for it. I didn't put that before because I didn't want you to know Aimee'd be in before you get to it yourself. If anyone gets to reviewing, please let me know what you think about her! I hope you missed Eddie a little less in this chapter. The next one has a little surprise for everyone, and I think I'll post it before the end of May. But I can't promise anything, because I'll still be busy for a while now… I can only promise I'll update more once school ends.**


	15. A Boy's Story

**I AM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A MONTH! The thing is, I was just finishing things in school (I'm done now ****) and also, this chapter is sooo very long. It could't be done in more than one piece. And it's very special, you'll soon know why. It was also very hard to write, I don't know if Imade it the way I wanted to… But I really, really hope you like it.**

**First, of course I own nothing, Richelle Mead does. And there are spoilers. And I'm sorry for mistakes. Thank you for all the reviews and follows and favorites, please kep reviewing. Especially for this chapter. I really want to know what you guys think. Even if it's awful, I have to know if this is good or bad so that I know if I should ever do it again. And I'd really love to reach 40 reviews, I'm only two from it…**

**Now, before I tell you to enjoy this chapter, I know there's been a huge lack of Eddie in the last two chapters. So I thought I'd make up for it. It makes everything else easier to understand. Let's go back to the time when Jill and the gang came from their vacation…**

**Eddie's POV**  
I reluctantly put on the black jacket of my guardian uniform. My uniform wasn't the real reason for my sullenness, although I also wasn't happy about the thick clothes they made us wear in the middle of July. We could fight just as well in swimsuits.  
It was weird to think how excited I was to first get the sign I was a guardian a bit more than a year ago. The uniform was made just for me and it was only my own ever since. I thought I'd never get it after all the trouble I'd been through that year. The death of my best friend, running away with a princess - officially to a wild party in Las Vegas, luckily no one found out we were really breaking a criminal out of jail - then helping the assumed assassinator of the Queen escape, and even killing a Moroi, I was really lucky to even get a job. It helped that the princess I ran away with became the Queen.  
Now I was looking at that uniform on me like at my biggest enemy. Hell, I didn't even know who my biggest enemy is anymore. The year that proceeded after I actually got a job was even crazier. But I certinatelly didn't spend it in official clothes. It had been a while since I last wore the guardian uniform. And the reason I had to put it on... Well, was the real reason for my reluctance.  
Two days ago Lissa called me to meet her in her office. I got the feeling something strange was up when she told me to sit down.  
"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" I asked. She shook her head with sympathy on her face. I tossed in the arm-chair I'd sat in nervously. I never liked hearing bad news, and this looked like it might change my world, from the way Lissa was acting.  
"Here's the thing," she said and exhaled. I knew she liked to tell bad news just as much as I liked to hear them. "Jill has decided where to go to school." I nodded, waiting for her to continue. My heart jumped at the mention of Jill's name, even though I didn't want it to. Lissa's tone told me that every word was a tourture for her.  
"She's going back to St. Vladimir's." I tilted my head. I could take that. I liked the school. And there'd be no need for me to pretend I was a student.  
"And since she's going to be safe on campus, she asked if Angeline could go with her... And you'd stay here." Lissa's voice was weirdly desperat. She tried to put her point as kindly and politely as possible. That was probably the reason it took me a second to realize her actual point. My reaction to it was that more fierce to make up for it.  
"She's firing me?!" I exclaimed. I didn't even realize how loud my voice became. It wasn't like me, and I immediately looked around out of habit to see if anyone noticed my yelling in the moment of weakness.  
"Well, I wouldn't exactly say firing..." Lissa said, sounding like she was trying to apologize for something she did to me. Her beautiful face, reflecting so many Jill's features barely anyone noticed, was lost and sad. I, or so I'm afraid, was the incarnation of outrage and despair. My reaction was probably exactly what Lissa was afraid of.  
"Yeah, because you're trying to say it nicely. She's firing me," I sighed.  
"She's hurt. Because you don't want to be with her," Lissa blurted. I saw in her eyes that she was sorry immediately. So was I.  
"I really screwed up," it suddenly hit me. It had never been my intention to hurt Jill. I loved her! And because I loved her, I wanted to protect her. Which would be impossible if we were together. Those same facts, although in different, a lot more complicated words with plenty of other things that were true as well were exactly what I told her when she asked me why.  
"It's not true that I don't want to be with her."  
Lissa gave me a sad smile, her eyes expressing just how much she was trying to understand me, but couldn't. Not even guardians could get it. No one could. I didn't. I only knew it was wrong.  
"But everything you told her wasn't the real reason you rejected her," Lissa guessed. The annoying thing about spirit users was that they were disturbingly good at reading people who didn't want to be read.  
"Actually, everything I told her was true," I argued.  
"Yeah, but as much as I know, none of it made much sense," Lissa said in a tone unusually cold for her. "Look, why don't you just ell me what the real reason is?" she then asked more gently. "You'll feel better."  
"I don't know," I said quietly and left the room.  
"You have to be at the headquarters in two days!" Lissa yelled behind me. I turned around just for a second to nod, then closed the door behind me.  
It was hilarious how nothing could scare me in a battle, but I was terrified about whatever it was that was going on between me and Jill. I really didn't know the real real reason. And no matter what Lissa said, I was pretty sure nothing could make me feel better.  
The further apart we grew, the better it was for her. I still felt the agonizing urge to protect her, but... I tried to push those thoughts away, so that I wouldn't feel too quilty. It turned out whenever I was around her, I only ended up hurting her. I never knew I broke her heart. We used to fight the way we did that night all the time, always from the same reason. Except that every time our words grew sharper, as the kiss that happened before grew deeper. I thought everything would go back on the same track after that. It wasn't until now that I realized it was a turning point in our relationship - all or nothing. She finally realized I won't let it go. The two of us being together... It was just wrong in every way.  
Nothing changed in the two days I had off, although I had plenty of time to think. I kept going to the guardians' gym as often as possible, to be in full condition to fight all the time. And also to keep my mind off. Always, when I had doubts about my choices, I trained as hard as possible to be sure in at least one thing - my strenght. To get rid of the guilt that had been chasing me ever since Mason's death. And yet, I believed I was never ready enough.  
And so, here I was right now, getting ready to be one of the guardians again. From the deficient experience I'd gained in the last summed, I liked working in the field much better. Here, at Court, a guardian could feel like they're about to tear him apart.  
Of course, thinking like this was exactly the kind of positivity I needed on my first day. Not.  
Lissa infromed me about the time of my meeting as well. And so, I was in front of Hans Croft's office at 2 pm, waiting for the secretary to call me into the office. The meeting with such a busy man was scheduled, of course. But I wasn't a fan of the fact that everyone else arranged everything for me. I felt like a marrionette.  
Okay, I seriously didn't understand what was up with me. I've never been this bitter and disgruntled. I should be happy I didn't have to deal with the office stuff. It really wasn't my field.  
The secretary called me in after five minutes or so. As I walked inside, the Hans's expression was downright amused.  
"Eddie Castile, I'd never expect to see you here again," he said with a smirk unusual for him. Although, what did I know? I only saw him four or five times, all for bussiness.  
"Of course you would, my meeting was scheduled," I replied, my expression cold. His remark gave me a feeling he was mocking me. Who wouldn't? I was stupid enough to get myself into this.  
"That's true. Let's get to bussiness," he said. "Why are you here exactly?"  
That certinately wasn't a question I'd expected.  
"Didn't Liss- um, the Queen tell you?" I asked. It was over a year, and I still didn't get used to calling my friend by her royal title. Hans shook his head slowly.  
"She only told me to schedule a meeting with you as soon as possible."  
Seriously? If she was to arrange the meeting for me, she could've just saved me the struggle of explaining my messed up situation.  
"Okay," I exhaled. "So, I suppose that for a while, until I'll be needed somewhere else, I'll be at my service to the Royal Army or wherever it is that you need me at Court."  
"Really?" Hans gave me a surprised look. It was hard to stay cold under his scrutiny, because I felt like a child caught at stealing candy. When really, I didn't do anything wrong. At least nothing against the guardian rules. My personal life was my personal life, right?  
"Yes, really, I certinately didn't come over here to tell you lies," I said fiercly.  
"I'm sure of that, I'm just a bit surprised about that after how much Queen Vasilisa stood up for you, saying that it'd be a loss of great guardian potential to not give you that job. Which I agree with. I remember how satisfied you were about getting the princess for your charge, and she was just as eager, so it intrigues me why any of you would decide to break this deal that seemed to work so well for everyone, that's all," Hans replied, his face completely indifferent.  
"Well, Miss Dragomir is leaving back to St. Vladimir's Academy, where she will be, I dare say, decently protected, so she doesn't need that many personal guardians around her. I'd only get in her way," I explained, hoping I sounded convincing enough. But Hans had been in his position for too long, although my explanation was completely reasonable. Unfortunatelly he wasn't as proffesional at holding back his curiosity as he was at seeing through lies.  
"And she decided she'd rather take her other guardians with her than you," Hans said with an exaggerated sympathy in his voice. I felt more humiliated by minute, but I refused bent my head. I've always believed you have to fight until the end, even if it's in a fight you're losing.  
"Does that come from personal reasons, or have you dissapointed her in bussiness...?"  
"Actually, the guardian she took with her hasn't completed the guardian training yet, so it's more logical to take her to the school," I said coldly. I was talking about Angeline, of course. "If there are any personal reasons behind the decision, turn to the princess, not me. I haven't been told about them if there are - and besides, who am I to expose her private life?" I retorted. Hans only arched an eyebrow and finally gave the subject a break. Who would've thought I'd ever be hiding my privacy from the Court's lead guardian?  
Hans then told me I'd be working whenever and wherever I'd be needed - I wouldn't be sitting around for sure. Honestly, that was the last thing I wanted. Sitting around inevitably leaded into thinking about Jill.  
And so, in two days time I recieved a call from the headquarters. A voice I didn't know told me I'd be removing some flowers that had dried in the heat and replacing them with more durable ones until they find me something better to do. I wasn't exactly in joy when I heard that, because, really? Gardening? Couldn't they just find better flowers in the first place? And the whole thing painfully reminded me of the punishment Rose and I got when we ran away to Vegas. I'd known how much I'd screwed up back then, and I had the same feeling now, although I did absolutely nowthing wrong.  
But I supposed it could be worse. At least I didn't have to wear my uniform. No matter wheter I liked it or not, I had to be there. The work wasn't even hard, neither phisically nor mentally exhausting. I just had to throw all the plants out and make sure all the roots were gone.  
Sonya Karp-Tanner came to visit me once in between, shaking her head in exasperation to what she saw. She was a spirit user as well, and her favorite part of using her element was dealing with plants. She asked me what I was doing there as well, and I somehow dodged my way out with some made-up answer. She saw right through me, but didn't say anything.  
But Adrian, who showed up later, was a harder nut to crack. Partly because he knew me better, but mostly because he knew exactly the reason I was there.  
"Seriously? You're just gonna deal with this?" he asked me, tilting his head. As if I was hurting him personally. What else did I have left to do?  
"I don't see what choice do I have," I replied and pulled another flower out with a strong pull. I think they were peonies, but they didn't look much like anything anymore. They were completely withered.  
"Well, you could be with a girl you love more than the world, doing the thing you've always dreamed to do for living, be as happy as a person can, and make her happy as well, but no," Adrian said with an annoyingly long emphasis on the "no". He was surprisingly straightforward today.  
"You know I can't do that. Why are you even here?"  
He rolled his eyes dramatically while I pulled another flower out. Who even had the time to plant that many flowers?  
"I'm here to change your mind. Thought that was clear."  
"Well, I thought it was clear I'm not changing my mind!" I exclaimed standing up. I gave up on getting my work done as long as he was here. "Doesn't she know you're doing this? Where is she anyway?"  
"Who?" he asked, although I saw it in his face he knew who I was talking about very well. He probably only wanted me to say her name.  
"Jill, fo goodness's sake!" I exclaimed. I was slowly but definetly losing my mind.  
"Oh, she's in Detroit, visiting her parents. She's really worn out after eversthing that's happened to her lately," he replied, looking me straight in the eye while the saying the last sentance. As if his words weren't meaningful enough alone.  
"Stop staring at me like that. Your eyes bother me," I muttered. His eyes were an impossibly intense shade of green, just like... Jill's. I sighed.  
"I think I know what's bothering you," he laughed. "And Jill doesn't know we're having this conversation right now because I'm blocking myself from her."  
"Won't she ask you why?" I asked. He nodded, his face reflecting he thought this through. He didn't do that often, and I could be quite sure he wouldn't do that for one conversation.  
"If she does, I'll tell her I'm doing it because of spirit effects. Not much of a plan, I know. She'll probably think I'm up to something. But in three weeks I'll have a decent excuse. I'm also blocking myself from her because we're throwing her a surprise sweet sixteen party."  
"Oh," I said numbly. I wasn't able to say any more. This was all news to me. A week ago I'd be the first in line to participate.  
"Yeah, while we're at it, you're invited," Adrian told me, completely indifferent for my shock. He probably thought I deserved it. He was right if he did.  
"If you want to be invited, of course, which I doubt," he added. "27th, 6pm."  
I was about to reply, although I didn't know how, but an unexpected - although I should've learned to expect everything with Adrian - change of subject saved me.  
"Why are you doing this, really? When you love her more than you'll ever love yourself and miss her with all your heart?"  
"Exactly because I love her. I want her to be safe! What does it help me to keep an eye on her if that eye's distracted with her beauty?"  
I told him the first reason that came to my mind, but I literally had a response for for any argument they could give me. There was a problem for any solution. There was just no way I could be with Jill.  
"You want to not love her to keep her safe, and now she won't let you keep her safe because you refuse to love her. Do you realize that?" Adrian asked. He said the words so swiftly and cunningly I didn't even understand him. My blank expression probably told him that. "If you want to keep her safe, how are you going to do that with her trying to avoid you?"  
"That is very mean, and a very good point," I said glumly. Adrian smirked.  
"Think about that. And the party. I'll talk to you as soon as I think of more very good points," he said and left.  
I sat on the ground, lost in thoughts. So Jill ran away to Detroit. Ran away from me. Was it that hard for her to be around me? Did... Did she hate me?  
I gazed around the large garden around me. I didn't even see the end of it at at some points, and the others ended with the Court wall. Eventually my look hit the bucket half filled with the removed flowers. I got back to work with a sigh. They really gave me an important job, no kidding.  
I was stuck doing it for another two days before I was done. They passed quite quickly, which was a relief, because I could hardly think of a more boring thing to do. Unfortunately I stopped doing it because I was done, not because I'd get something better to do. The guardians didn't have a new job for me, especially since the summer holidays began not long ago and the new guardians, who had just passed their trials, arrived to Court and were now a part of the Royal Army until they got their charges. That would happen to me last year if it wasn't for the thousand things that went wrong. But hey, I still wasn't the one that ended up in prison, so I probably have nothing to complain about.  
I knew I'd be stuck in my apartment for a few more days, and I decided to take them at ease. I couldn't remember the last time I did that, if ever.  
Now I slept late, probably because I spent most of the nights tossing and turning in bed. I ate whenever I was hungry, which wasn't often. Our gang mostly had meals together in that one Court cafeteria we all kind of loved, but I doubt I joined them twice in those days. I felt like they were all mad at me for what I did to Jill. I sometimes got just as mad at myself, and I was on the verge of changing my mind a few times. Luckily she was away, so reality hit me again before I could make my position even worse.  
But I felt like all of my friends were on her side, and sometimes I wondered if they were really my friends or hers. Did they only put up with me because I was her guardian? I knew the preparations for the party were at full strike, and maybe they just didn't want to push me. Adrian left me alone for now, and I still had no idea whether to attend the party or not. I didn't even think about it.  
The only thing I really still did was work out in the gym. I knew my freedom wouldn't last long, and maybe that was for the best. I wanted to be just as ready as ever. I also kept working out because whenever I wasn't, I was just slouching around the Court or my apartment.  
One day I randomly ran into a congratulations card on a dusty shelf. I knew it had to be there for a while, because I forgot what it was. I picked it up curious and opened it. A very lousy version of the graduation music filled the room. It suddenly hit me where the card came from.  
I grew up in a dhampir commune as my mother's first child. She wasn't even eighteen when I was born. I was just an accident. Well, I was born anyways and she resorted to the dhampir commune in Colorado where I spent the first four years of my life. She got a job that took most of her time, so she could barely take care of me. My grandmother lived with us and used to babysit me, but she had some kind of accident when I was four. She was on a wheelchair ever since and I moved to St. Vladimir's Academy. I met Rose, Mason and dosens of other friends there. Everything was fine in my life. I had nothing to complain about and I was happy. I spent the holidays in the commune every year in middle school, but was more or less out on my limb. My mom still had that job.  
When I was eight, I once got there and learned that I have a baby brother. And yet, I didn't get to see my mother much that year. The next year Mason invited me to come home with him for the holidays. I agreed and was impressed over how bonded his family was, even though in a commune too, and how nicely they accepted me. I went with him every year from then on and hadn't seen my mother since. We were never close, but we grew even further apart.  
I knew she had to send me away and I didn't blame her one bit. But I still didn't know a thing about her and basically didn't know her. It's easier to imagine just how distanced our relationship was if I just recall the event that happened a while ago, when I had to fill in a form and one of the blank spaces demanded her name. I actually had to think for a minute to fill it in. I literally forgot my mother's name. Now at least I knew her name was Melanie.  
The card I was holding right now was the one she sent me for graduation. I was a bit surprised and even confused to recieve it, after ten years of zero contact. Then I turned happy she remembered. I could've failed my trials, but I didn't want to be that hairsplitting. I wanted to reply or even visit again. But somehow, it never got to that. I always forgot.  
Now that card was in my hand again. And I felt like it was the time to do something about that. Maybe I should at least call. I hadn't heard from her her in so long it wasn't healthy anymore. A spark of positvity ran through my veins after a long time. Maybe we weren't close, but who said we couldn't be? And I wanted to meet my brother! I wanted to know a bit more about who I am.  
Most of all, I had no duties whatsoever lately. Not real ones. No priorities. Jill was the only one, and I guess I failed that. She fired me. Kind of. I needed something to take my mind off of her. My actual family seemed like the perfect choice.  
After a few minutes of just standing there frozen a sudden urge got into me. I dropped the card and frantically started looking for a phone book. I probably would've found it sooner if I wasn't that swift. It made me sloppy.  
It took me a few minutes of mad search with no results before I realized that even after all those years, I still probably have my own mother in my contacts. I took my phone out of my pocket (I always had it with me) and looked for her number. With fingers crossed she hadn't changed it, I took a deep breath and dialed.  
"Hello?" a female voice answered almost immediately. I was dumbfounded at the sound of it. I recognised it promptly and it drove me right back to the time I barely remembered anymore. I must've been very little, but I still recalled the voice so very well.  
"Hi... Mom? It's- it's me, Eddie," I stuttered, sounding more insecure than I liked. But I had no idea what to say! How would she even react? Would she be upset to hear from me after ten years? Would she be happy? The answer was sad: I didn't know her well enough to know. I had no idea how to take the silence on the other side of the line.  
"Eddie?" she asked after a few agonizingly long seconds. She sounded surprised. Which made sense. Then she laughed in the histeric way that also sounded really glad. In that moment I knew it wasn't a mistake to call her. "Wow, I can't believe it! I haven't heard from you in so long!"  
"I know," I chuckled. I was a bit touched by her response. "And I'm really sorry about that."  
Ten thousand questions about my life followed, and I responded to all patiently. It wasn't hard to after she told me how much she'd been thinking about me. I told her what happened with the congratulations card, and she told me a few bit about how things were at home as well. It was shocking how easily we got along after all those years, as if we never distanced away. The only thing I didn't know how to react to was when she asked me if I'd come to visit.  
"I'd love to," I said carefully. I was telling the truth. After hearing her voice and talking to her, I began to feel homesick. The last time I'd felt like that was when I was four.  
"But I can't do that right now," I continued. The other side was silent. "Things are a bit, er, complicated and I have no idea when I'll be needed at work." I refused to get into details. "As soon as everything gets more stable, I promise I'll come around."  
"It's about time," she chuckled, making me feel a pang of guilt. But I liked it a lot that she didn't ask too many questions.  
We talked for quite a while, because frankly, we just had a lot to say to each other. And I had to admit I felt a lot better in the evening. I didn't even mention my Jill problems to her, but I still felt like a weight rolled off my shoulders.  
A phone call woke me up early the next morning. The caller's ID didn't entirely surprise me. Sydney once told me only Alchemists wake people up in the middle of the night. She was either wrong, or Hans Croft did a very good job of hiding a golden tattoo on his cheek. He was the one to call, of course. He even admitted he'd completely forgotten that I was on tap. Now I was on fence duty that afternoon.  
I could've swore it was like the guardians were waiting for me to solve out my personal issues and then called me up for work. The day they called me up was also the day Jill came back from Detroit. Not that it affected my life in any way.  
Not much went on in the next few days. I was always doing something, but nothing really interesting. Fence duty, gardening (again), carrying 'heavy' things and more boring stuff like that. I never saw Jill and I barely ever had contact with people, except for guardians. I missed my friends. All of them. But I didn't have the courage to face them. Not with Jill there. And while we're at it, I, of course, missed her most of all. Even though I shouldn't.  
With all the boredom, it was a welcome change to hear my work would change after two or three weeks. One of the guardians in higher positions told me that the next day I'd be, with some other guardians, attending some luxurious royal dinner. Not as a guest of course. There were always a few guardians at things like this, for securety. I did this a lot the summer before. The position most reminded of an armed doorkeeper. I was kind of looking forward to breaking the routine.  
That is, until I got there and the guests started to come. Jill was one of them, and when I saw Lissa and Adrian with her, I knew with no doubt that it was no coincidence I got this position tonight.  
My main priority was still to be good guardian and consequently keep her safe, so I kept my gaze in every direction possible - exceot hers. I got so very nervous I didn't even dare to look at her. This was the first 'contact' we'd had in weeks, and the one before wasn't exactly full of love and harmony. Besides the fact that she was hurt, I had no idea whatsoever how she felt about me now. I was only sure she was coming to talk to me sooner or later.  
And yet, I still winced when I heard steps coming my way, echoing on the expensive shiny parquet. I exhaled deeply and looked up with great hesitation. To my surprise, the person coming my way was Adrian, not Jill. A part of me was really relieved, but I think mostly dismay was written all over my face. Adrian, mischieviously smirking at me already, noticed it in a moment.  
"Hey Castile, how you doing?" he asked innocently.  
"As if you don't know," I said with a scowl on my face. He tilted his head.  
"And why is that?" he wondered, pretending to gaze into the distance. I narrowed my eyes.  
"You know that even better."  
"Well, just imagine, only a few words could change that-" I felt another elaborate about my stupidity coming up, and I interruped him quickly: "I honestly think it's too late to change anything right now."  
"It wouldn't be if you only tried," Adrian remarked.  
"I won't!" I yelled a lot louder than intended. A few gazes turned into our direction, but the laughter and conversations coming from other tables mostly covered my outburst.  
"Why the heck not? Can you tell me, once and for all, why is it so hard for you to make her happy?" Adrian hissed. He didn't go as far as I did, but it surprised me how upset he seemed.  
"Because..." And then I realized the most obvious reason, the one I convinced myself most it was true, didn't work on Adrian. Actually, it didn't work on anyone. I would've choked with guilt if anything happened to Jill, even if it wasn't really my fault, but like everyone I knew, I also didn't think quite as much that I'd slack off because of loving her. It was true, I loved her now already. So I had to go with reason no. 2: "Because everyone would judge us! I've faced judging before in my life, and it wasn't nice. I don't want that again, and I want it for her even less. She's a princess - a Moroi princess - and I'm a dhampir. Don't you see those royals? Don't you see the way they kill with looks, throw words like blades... I can't stand that every day."  
I was careful to keep my voice low, because I really didn't want to attract any looks. I'd felt like everyone's blaming me already after Mason's death. After (barely) getting over that, it would kill me to be the only thing ruining Jill's perfect royal image. She really was perfect... Without me.  
Without realizing it, I dropped my gaze while speaking. I didn't have many fears, but to make up for it, the ones I had were that much harder to face. When I looked back up, Adrian was staring at me with a blank look. It felt like he was judging me already. I hunched under his scrutiny.  
"No one would judge you," he said. My guilt suddenly faded and I rose my eyebrows.  
"Everyone would judge me," I corrected. "And... And they'd be right. I'm not royal. I can't. I'm not worth her."  
"You still think she deserves a prince, don't you?" I nodded. Adrian sighed. "What she deserves is happiness. Would you rather have her safe and with dignity or whatever it is that you elaborated on before, or have her happy and actually have her? You know what she'd pick if you gave her a choice!"  
"She can be happy without me," I saud quietly.  
"Are you sure?" Adrian asked. "Just look at her."  
I carefully turned my head into Jill's direction, afraid of eyecontact again. But there was no fear, because her gaze was on the floor. Lissa was trying to talk to her, but she wasn't very eager to respond. I knew she must've been unconfortable in the middle of all those royals. She knew how mean and scheming they could be. But that's how she spent the whole last summer. I knew it wasn't enough to make her this miserable, especially with Lissa and Adrian here. Did I really do this to her?  
"And where did you even get the idea that you're less worth than we are?" Adrian demanded.  
"Well..." I said with a high-pitched voice, the kind that made it obvious there was a story behind this. And according to Adrian's expression, he was ready to compel it out of me if I wouldn't be willing to tell it myself. "You probably know I already had a crush on Jill last summer, when she became my charge." His face confirmed that he knew it well. "You're not the only one who noticed. Remember that Blake Lazar guy?"  
"Ugh," Adrian replied. I agreed with that very short, but very specific opinion.  
"So, he was once around in one of the events like this one, and caught me, um, staring at Jill. I think he said 'You just watch until she finds a prince like her. You know she'll end up with a guy like that, right?'. I know what he was talking about. Jill may not know it yet, but she'll realize it some day and I'll just save her the work," I sighed.  
"Oh, come on!" Adrian exclaimed. "The only thing Blake Lazar was ever right about was that our very own Queen is a pleasure to look at."  
"Well, he might have been wrong, but all royals think like that," I stated. Adrian threw his hands up in exasperation. I think we were equally annoyed with each other.  
"That's not true! That's like... Come on, have you seen the Moroi who still judge Christian?"  
I think I heard someone gossip about him just ten minutes ago.  
"Yes, Adrian, I've seen every Moroi ever," I retorted. And I couldn't even tell him how afraid I was of being the target of that gossiping.  
"Okay, I could theoretically be insulted now. And so could Jill be! Look, not all royals are mean and full of judgment. It's just... The bad ones are more flashy." He realized the absurdness of the last sentance almost immediately: "Oh, what am I even saying, I married a human and Lissa's the Queen..."  
My look wandered off back to Jill while Adrian was trying to think of another argument that would've worked better on me. I was glad he worried about Jill so much.  
"Just... Think about that, okay?" he said agitated. "And let me know if you change your mind. Or better, let Jill know. And come to the party."  
Adrian left after those words, but he stayed in my sight because I couldn't move my gaze from Jill. She never noticed in her misery. I'd felt down over the past days, but it seemed she took what happened between us in a worse way than I did.  
My mind was stuck on Jill days after the dinner. My schedule included a few more of those, but she didn't attend any. Or maybe she was just in a different hall. Anyway, the picture of the shadow over her face was burned into my brain, and guilt haunted me day and night. Would you rather have her safe or happy?  
Soon I couldn't do it anymore, and some night I decided I have to see her. I joined my friends for breakfast the next day with no clear intention in my mind, only to see her, to... I had no idea what.  
"Well, would you look at that," said Rose as I crossed the door of the cafeteria. "What brought you around?" "I just, um, wanted to... I don't really know. Make sure she's okay," I said with a shrug. I realized how weird that could've come out, but looking around the table, I realized she wasn't even there. "Where is she even?"  
"She hasn't been coming to breakfasts since she came from Detroit," Lissa said with a sad smile crossing her features. "I think she... Sleeps?"  
"Yup, she sleeps late," Adrian confirmed. I didn't know if they talked about it, or if the bond was working both ways now...? What I mostly realized was how alike we really were. I too slept late while I was free.  
"Did you change your mind?" Adrian asked me immediately. I shook my head. I was decided now. There was no way I was letting go of the decision I was holding onto for so long.  
"Come on, Eddie, you gotta do something already!" Rose exclaimed.  
"But... them first," I uttered. Such short words, but they were a reason Rose could get better than anyone else I knew, one that put a great danger on her relationship with Dimitri in the past. Maybe no one else behind the table understood, but Rose did.  
"Fuck it. She's one of them," she pointed out. So my words didn't hit as much understanding as I'd hoped.  
"Well, yeah... technically. But it's different. You know it. Not only that I have to protect her and I expect that from myself, others expect that from me too. You know that." The old Rose, the one I knew before Palm Springs, would agree by now.  
"Are you freaking serious? Who cares what they think?" she exclaimed. Well, I guess Court life does change a few things. And it was a lot like Rose - and everyone else by the table - to not care what anyone else thinks. I honestly didn't know why I still found myself caring.  
"I know, I know, you guys don't... But I do. I'm sorry, I just can't stand the judging. They judge me, I judge myself even more," I sighed. Rose gave me the look that told me I'm not making sense. I got that look a lot recently.  
"That is the most fucked up policy I've ever heard. You're not afraid of a bunch of Strigoi trying to kill you, but you freak out over spoiled royals who only judge others because they're too afraid to judge themselves because their lives are totally fucked up and they don't want to admit it."  
She gave me this whole speech in one breath, painfully reminding me of Jill. I couldn't escape her! Except that Rose swore a little more.  
"You're the one to talk," Dimitri jumped in. "Eating squirrels terrifies you more than Strigoi do." I laughed at that. Yup, I could easily imagine Rose's problems with questionable food. Even though she did once put ketchup on a taco.  
"I'm sorry, squirrels are delicious," said Angeline. I couldn't help thinking this conversation kind of lost its reccurent theme.  
"Anyway..." Rose said. Her expression told the the idea of eating squirrels alone made her nausious. "If you care what royals think so much, shouldn't you put Jill first of all of them?"  
Her attempt to make sense out of my poor confused mind would amuse me if the situation was any different. Too bad she wasn't on debate team in highschool. It was also funny how from Adrian alone my and Jill's relationship suddenly became everyone's problem.  
"No, she's different. She doesn't really belong into the picture of those spoiled royals. She doesn't even want to be one," I said, starting to dream about her already. A few annoyed looks around the table woke me up to quickly correct myself: "I mean, of course Lissa and Christian and Adrian are different that those jerks too, but Jill... She's a story for herself. She's completely innocent in this, she..."  
"And did you consider by doing what you do you're hurting that innocent girl who's a story for herself?" Rose asked, cutting me off.  
"You guys just don't get it," I sighed. Without saying anything else, I left the cafeteria. My steps were fast and decisive, and I was quite angry. Why couldn't they all just leave me alone? And Adrian, why did he have to start this? What right did he have to give me relationship advice?  
He'd always done that, in Palm Springs already. He demanded a number of times to get my act together and just ask Jill out, before she even knew anything. And then, when I started to date Angeline, he always told me that I can't date her if I still have feelings for Jill. I think he saw a reflection of what Rose did to him in those events.  
Although thinking back at those events , the thing with Angeline really didn't end well. Could it be that Adrian - along with everyone else - was right in this case as well?  
I slowed my pace down as that thought hit me, but just for a second. No! I couldn't just let it all go and leave everything, all my principles and all I believed was good behind me just to run into her arms.  
Before I knew it, I found myself on the outer staircase of Jill's building. Without even knowing it, my feet brought me there. I groaned and sat on one of the stairs. As I looked into the distance, I saw a familiar figure coming towards me. Sydney's blond hair was floating behind her and shining in the setting sun as she hurried up the few stairs that separated us.  
"I get it," she said as she sat next to me. "I know what it's like to have your heart and your mind in a war, to resist everything you've ever been taught, but it's no use."  
I leaned my head on her shoulder. That was exactly how I felt, yes. But she didn't get it, not even Sydney. Everyone compared me and Jill to her and Adrian. Because Sydney and I supposingly had the same reasons to avoid the inevitable. Except that Sydney's reasons were only a part of my own.  
I didn't even completely know myself. All I actually realized was that what I'd thrown into Jill were excuses. True ones, but not completely the point. What I guess was the truth... was everything that's been told to all young guardians during their training. It wasn't as strict as with the Alchemists... but I also wasn't as strong of a character as Sydney. From what I've heard, she probably got it from her mother. I had nowhere to get it from. I did what I was told. I wasn't the partying type. If I let anyone down, I let myself down. I couldn't forgive myself. Of course, I liked to have fun, but it wasn't in front of my duties. And I had to keep some distance. The last person that completely got me was Mason. He was really my best friend, and straight from childhood, we shared everything we had. Which wasn't much, but that's why it meant so much more. He was like my brother. I let him close. And we all know what'd happened. The next person that got me because, well, we were so alike and because she was basically my sister, was Sydney. I let her down as well. I let the Alchemists take her, and I still haven't forgiven myself for that.  
And now, Jill... she was everything to me, my whole world. She was so high, so far from me, but I still felt like we shared a soul. I've never felt a connection like that before... and it scared the heck out of me. More than loving her, I was afraid of letting her down. Of blewing this off as well. Of hurting her. Of dissapointing her. I've only had girlfriends for fun, mostly in the time when I was more open and carefree. Then the thing with Mason happened, and I promised myself to let our principale lead me more than ever.  
Them first. I suppose Rose heard the same thing and was influinced the same... but I wasn't Rose. The thing with Angeline also didn't help the matters; it sobered me up again. And I've already learned one thing; when I blow up, I blow up big time. Jill, she was already so much more in all the meanings of the word, how horribly could I possibly hurt her? Did loving her more automatically lead to ending in a bigger disaster?  
But no matter how right of a thing my brain was telling me I'm doing, it still just didn't feel right. I was told a million times that life never gives you a challenge you can't defeat. Why did life keep tourturing me with Jill then? I could clearly avoid it, you can stop now, you know?  
When I was with her, I felt better than I ever have before. I felt like we belong together, and I was incomplete without her. I missed her. Those were thing thst were the last thing on my mind before I met her. Life wasn't meant for us to suffer and regret, was it? I always assumed that as a guardian, I'd spend my life protecting. No family, no life. That's why I tried to live it up while I was young. When it ended in a disaster, I assumed it was time to grow up. But maybe I just wasn't meant for what life made me. Things in the world were changing now...  
No! I quickly snapped out of that thought. My heart was just convincing me into the easier way, into what I wanted. But everyone telling you to follow your heart was just saying bullshit. When I wanted to hunt for strigoi, I was following my heart. It brought me into nearly death.  
Except, a small voice told me, dating a princess who already loves you is a bit of a more realistic dream than hunting for strigoi. And it's something you're a bit more qualified to do than you were to hunt back then.  
That was true... But even if that happened, what could I ever offer to Jill? I didn't really have skills to be a good boyfriend, and I was even worse at royal stuff. I was the last thing she deserved. She was so much better.  
Even if I found a way out of that, there were ten thousand other reasons why I couldn't be with her. I should just. Give. It. Up.  
"No, Sydney, you don't get it," I sighed.  
"Of course, no one can get completely what's going on inside your head. That's science," she chuckled. "But you can always know I won't judge you for this."  
"You know, I keep finding myself on the verge of changing my mind, but I always realize what's right in the last moment," I said.  
"Well, maybe if we all think so, even your mind occasionally, maybe, maybe you should change your mind," Sydney chuckled. "If Dimitri and Adrian agree on something, then it must be true."  
She was just as twisted as the rest of them. What was up with her and her husband that they messed with my love life so much?  
I gave some kind of a forced laugh. "Isn't it funny how far we'd come? From Strigoi attacks, assassins, fighting back to the Alchemists and vampire hunters, to the point where the most important problem to discuss is my love life."  
I felt nostalgic thinking back of those days. It felt downright reassuring to know how free we really were now. Something was even funnier; back then, though the danger and the rush that busy life brought, I was somehow incomparably less miserable than now, when the only trouble in my life came from missing Jill.  
Sydney must've realized I didn't really find the situation all that funny from my face. "So, does that mean you'll consider it again?" she asked pleadingly.  
"No!" I exclaimed.

Days dragged on with nothing big enough to remember. Adrian, along with the reast of the crew, kept on perisistingly convincing me to be with Jill, whom I still never saw. The first interesting event in what felt like years actually happened while was on fence duty.  
"Eddie?" a surprised voice behind me asked. I turned around and met a well known face back from my highschool days. It was Meredith, one of the novices in my class at St. Vladimir's. We were quite good friends back then, although never as close as me and Rose.  
Meredith told me she was a part of the army as well until she'd leave in autumn. It was probably a coincidence that Hans put us into a patrol together. I felt as though Lissa told him to isolate me.  
We agreed we have to meet sometime soon, as long as we were both at Court. Guardian life can be, as I learned, quite unpredictable. And I was eager to spend a little time with Meredith, one of the rare people I knew who wouldn't nag me about the in-love-with-a-princess drama in my life. Mostly because she didn't know about it.  
"Tomorrow?" I asked. She shook her head, looking more sorry than she should feel. "I'm working in the morning, and then going to Jill Mastrano's birthday party."  
"That's tomorrow?!" I exclaimed. Time ran ahead of me while I was complaining about how slow it goes. I wasn't really going to go anyway.  
The next day I got from my shift at about 5 pm. I'd been fixing some old fence all day long. The job was quite phisically exhausting, and I went into the shower the moment I stepped through my apartment's door. The clothes I'd worn that morning were no use anymore. I was about to go straight to bed after the shower, especially since I was starting at 4 am the next day, but my phone stopped me from doing that. The caller's ID told me it was Meredith.  
"Aren't you coming to the party?" she asked the moment I answered. It took me a few seconds to recover from the shock. Even though my life wasn't exactly normal, I was still used to phone calls starting properly.  
"I wasn't going to, why?" I replied slowly.  
"You misssed the 'SURPRISE!'."  
I chuckled.  
"And I don't know many people here," Meredith continued. "I don't want to be stuck here all alone."  
"Alright," I sighed. Wasn't I kind, swallowing my pride for her?  
Also, it would be a good idea to see if Jill was doing okay after how sad she was. That was all for her sake, none for mine. There was no reason whatsoever for the smile drawing over my face.  
I quickly put the first clothes I saw on, jeans and a T-shirt, and walked out the door. I had a knot in my stomach, rising higher and higher to my throat the closer I was to the building the party was held at. It would be a shame if I met Jill and spoiled the surprise... Although Meredith told me she was already there.  
Before I knew it, I found myself at the entrance of the smallest hall in the building. From the laughing and talking echoing from it, I knew I was in the right place. I felt like I'm about to explode with anxiety. I shouldn't be this nervous.  
"Here we go," I told myself and pushed the doorknob.  
I saw Jill immediately. Just like on that dnner, she was impossible to miss. She was lost in the middle of the crowd, talking to a girl I didn't know, and she stood out, she stood out big time. I don't think she'd ever been that beautiful before, not even in that dress she'd gone on that date with Luke in. But I could've sworn she had been trying to kill me with that dress.  
"Eddie?"  
It was Christian's voice that pulled me out of my thoughts and admiration. This was the second time in two days someone was surprised to see me. Except Christian didn's seem as pleased.  
"Come on, she'll accept you," he saud with a misterious grin oh his face and ushered me closer to Jill. I watched her walk towards me when they told her to, not very eagerly. She didn't even notice it was me she was going towards, she was too caught up in the conversation with the unknown girl.  
Then her eyes met me and the smile on her face dissapeared immediately, an expression of pure shock replaced it. But I'm not one to talk about the feelings on her face, because I couldn't move my gaze from her eyes.  
Green, so very green. So very beautiful. Now that I got a closer look, she really did look like a princess tonight. But not the stuck up kind she was afraid to become, more like the Disney ones that were supposed to be perfect. Except that she was more beautiful - and she was perfect for real.  
Of course she was perfect, it was her birthday and today was all about her. I - an intruder - ruined it. Suddenly I was sorry I came. My arrival erased a smile immediately, but she should smile, because it made her that more beautiful. And I couldn't stand being the one responsible for her misery.  
It was her birthday. She shouldn't be sad.  
"Happy birthday," I said quietly. I wanted to say so much more than that. I wanted to wish her to be as happy as a person can be, cause it's all I really wanted too. I wanted to wish her to forget about me, even thought she'd always be my whole life. She didn't deserve this. I wanted to tell her I miss her more than the world, the cute cute self of her she was that couldn't help but bring a smile on your face because she was so adorable. I missed her scent. She always smelled so nice; a little bit of lemon and a little bit of Jill. It was amazing. She took my breath away. I couldn't explain it, I could only stand there and admire her.  
Watching emotions shade on her face like a rainbow, I had a feeling she was thinking the same. I knew she missed me, us, our friendship.  
Also, watching her like that, I wanted to kiss her once more. Or ten thousand times more. But it felt so wrong! Guilt and longing inside me were threathing to tear me apart.  
The silence in the air during my internal war was a bit awkward, but I could do nothing to break it. I'd said my part, it was her turn to reply. And I was too stuck in my mind to come back to reality.  
"Thanks. And thanks for coming," Jill finally said. A huge smile played on her face. Something told me this was the first moment in a while she was sincerly happy. And if I talked about beauty before... I was a sucker for her smile. It made my knees weak.  
Jill left soon, and I just stood there for a while like the idiot I was. Then the cake arrived, which I took as a reason to find myself a seat. My eyes looked for Meredith, since she was the one that made me come in the first place. To my dismay she was already sitting by a full table, so I found some random chair by a table with some random people I didn't know.  
Everyone in the room was dancing and having a good time, except for me, party breaker, being miserable again. I distracted myself with watching the dancefloor. To my surprise, Smoking Blue, the band from Pentisuala, was responsible for the music. They were good, I suppose, but I never liked that Luke guy. I guess I was just jelous.  
My friends were a funny sight to see. They were dancing like crazy, switching partners every five minutes, with Jill as the Queen of them, although she was techincally a princess. Trey and Angeline were once again locked onto each other. I never knew they made up.  
Seeing them all dance reminded me of an event a bit more than a year ago, in our last days at St. Vladimir's. I barely knew Jill back then. Our only communication was due to our mutual friendship with Rose and I didn't really pay her much attention. I wasn't even with them very often.  
Then, somewhere in April or maybe May, a school dance was held at the academy. I went there and danced with a few girls, had a blast and so on. Rose was there with Adrian (whom she was dating back then), but I knew she wasn't really into things like that. They both only came because they were trying to get Lissa and Christian back together. They were broken up in that time.  
Anyhow, sometime late the slow songs started. Jill was dancing with Christian, Adrian and Rose were together and I talked to Lissa who sat next to me. Then, after a few songs, Rose came to dance with me and Adrian danced with Lissa. I remembered dancing with Rose was actually very emotional, because it brought memories of Mason back to both of us. Meanwhile, Lissa almost slapped Adrian in the face a few times.  
Especially when he called over to Christian if he wants to switch partners. For the next song, he actually danced with Jill and pushed Lissa towards Christian, but she came to me just to avoid him. Rose (who ended up dancing with Christian) and Adrian made some signal conversation through the whole song and Rose drove Christian towards me to tell me to dance the next song with Jill. I agreed just because, and hurried over to her when the song was over. She already knew what's going on, so she didn't mind. Adrian and Rose were also back together, so by all the sounds of logic and the laws of physics, Lissa and Christian should end up dancing too. But they rather decided to sit on the bench.  
Meanwhile, I talked to Jill. For the first time in my life, really. She told me she had a crush on Adrian (although it was kind of obvious back then) and that he promised her one more song later in normal circumstances. We could also talk like we did now, just the two of us, we had a connection. And it was already like our bodies match and are made for each other. The song was over too soon.  
Then everything went back to normal, and Rose even teased me about how I liked Jill the next day. I laughed along, but the picture of those big jade green eyes placed perfectly on her innocent face was already burned into my brain forever.  
Back in the present, Jill's eyes met me for real. Just for a second, then I dropped my gaze. My nostalgic face probably didn't look very happy, and a hint of sadness went over her face. After a too short second I was stuck to just watching her from afar again.  
"Hey," I heard behind me. It was Meredith.  
"You like to sneak behind my back, don't you?" I teased, chasing the memories and bitterness away. She laughed.  
"Finally made my way through the crowd. Let's find some place to sit together. Or should we go for a spin first?" she asked. She didn't have to tell me twice. It wasn't hard to get tired of such an awkward position and thinking why I even came. I gallantly took her to the dancefloor, where we stayed until our feet started to hurt. There were some wild parties in highschool, where it was hard not to learn how to dance.  
Then, both of us exhausted, we went into search for some seats. It just so happened that the only free spaces were at a table behind the one Jill and our friends placed themselves at. And I happened to overhear some conversation.  
"Oh, I took her to Ambrose this afternoon," Rose said proudly, refering to Jill.  
"Mhm," said Jill with her voice overly-excited. I didn't like Ambrose whatever-his-last-name-was very much. I could've gotten over the fact that he was a dhampir not wanting to be a guardian, but I couldn't forgive being a male blood whore. And he didn't seem to care much about age of his, erm, lovers. Wheter they were much older or much younger. I didn't think it was good that Jill liked him. He could've used her.  
Not that it was any of my bussiness.  
Meredith was eyeing me curiosly. I realized how rude I'd been.  
"Oh, I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, trying to put Jill out of my mind. "Let's sit down." We were just standing there awkwardly until then.  
But before we could do anything, I couldn't skip one of Jill's remarks: "-my hair, Ambrose is dusturbingly attractive."  
I recognised her tone immediately. It was like that remark was meant for me. This was exactly the kind of things she'd been doing during our vacation to make me jelous. Now she was trying to get over me by throwing herself on a guy she was only phisically attracted to. The fact that she was getting over me alone stung me in the way it shouldn't.  
Well, two can play that game!  
"Actually," I said, deciding to be a gentleman.I pulled a chair out for Meredith to sit on, but I accidentally dropped it on the floor. It hit the ground with what sounded to me like the loudest pang I'd ever heard.  
Meredith laughed out loud and I think I blushed. Well, maybe two can play that game, but I'm certinately not one of the two. "I am so sorry," I said quietly. Meredith only stroke her hand helplessly, unable to say anthing more due to the laughter shaking her body. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this ashamed.  
Although my lack of gentleman skill only strengtened me in my belief that I'd have nothing to offer to Jill, Meredith didn't seem to mind. We spent the rest of the party together. Our plan to meet out of bussiness kind of fell flat, so it surprised me a bit when we met a few days later. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if we met, but the first thing she told me was that she'd been looking for me. Why would she do it after I blew up so greatly?  
You know, maybe not everyone in the world is as stern to you as you are to yourself, a voice inside my head told me. That voice had been remarkably loud lately.  
"I told you I'm leaving in autumn, but things kind of changed," Meredith told me. "My charge, Jane Drozdov, is leaving to a human college tomorrow and I'm going with her. So I wanted to say goodbye." She put on a smile, but it had a bitter taste. I didn't know if she wasn't happy about leaving or if she'd really miss me. I liked her, but we weren't that close.  
"Oh," I blurted. I had no idea how to react. Should I hug her, or...  
Meredith solved that problem for me: "I also want to tell you that... I like you. A lot. For a while." She blushed and dropped her gaze while I stared blankly in surprise. Alright, maybe that only add up to the difficulty of my position. If that was still possible, of course.  
She, another unexpected action, stepped on her fingers and kissed me. For a moment I just stood there awkwardly, then I returned the kiss. I had nothing to lose, I was single, right? And if Jill could throw herself at other guys, why couldn't I kiss a girl back?  
Why did it make me feel so guilty?  
The kiss was nice, gentle and sweet like a bar of chocolate. But, well, if it was a bar of chocolate, then kissing Jill was a chocolate fountain. With Meredith, I felt almost nothing. She read that from my eyes when she moved away. She flashed me another sad smile. "Don't worry," she said. "I knew you don't feel the same. But I had to try."  
She turned around and left quickly, while I was like glued to the ground. I still felt guilty, for both Jill and Meredith. But... The dhampir knew well what she was doing. It looked like she wanted to leave things this way. There wasn't much chance we'd ever see each other again.

I don't know how, but no matter what job the guardians gave me, Adrian always somehow managed to track me down. He had Sydney with him this time. I knew quite well by now what to expect.  
"Really? A team-up? Haven't I heard enough of this already?" I sighed. Sydney chuckled quietly.  
"Have you chaged your mind?" Adrian asked, his voice telling me he didn't think so.  
"No!" I groaned.  
"Then no, you haven't heard enough of this," he decleared. "We aren't giving up," Sydney added. Their harmony would've been adorable if they were a little less annoying. I always wondered if they had arguments ready ahead or if they were just winging it.  
"Have you thought about everything at least? Do you have any more decent reasons?" Adrian asked. I wondered would he give me a break if I started to elaborate on the reasons I'd been thinking about the day Sydney came after me from the cafeteria.  
"Anything?" Adrian asked. I didn't want to expose all of my weaknesses. I felt too vunerable already. I scratched through my mind desperately to find something to say.  
"Sydney, didn't you say you won't judge me the other day?" I finally said accusingly. "Why are you tourturing me like this?"  
Sydney coughed in outrage. "I'm judging you? You still can't see we're all trying to help you?" I was one of the rare people who knew her well enough to sense a pinch of guilt under those words.  
It was ridiculous how we all refused to just speak what we really thought.  
Adrian, noticing his wife's uneasiness, repeated: "Anything? Anything at all?"  
I remained silent.  
"We're not leaving until you say something." Adrian crossed his arms over his chest.  
"Why? I know you love her, but don't you care about me that little bit to let it go when you see I won't change my mind and this only makes me feel worse? Why are you all on her side? Don't you see I'm trying to do good for her?" I exclaimed. I didn't mean to explode again and I was sorry immediately. It was irresponsible from a guardian to focus only on his own emotions. I was losing control lately.  
"Eddie, please!" Adrian shouted. My words didn't leave him cold as well. But he was allowed to freak out. I took a deep breath to stop myself from it.  
"Do you have any idea how agonizing it is to know someone loves you, but they just won't admit it and let it he because of reasons that couldn't be more ridiculous?"  
His words were so sincere it looked like they came right from his heart, not Jill's. Did they have that deep of a conversation? Could he read all of that from an aura? The only thing I noticed was that she was sad.  
"I'm sorry, okay?!" Sydney exclaimed. I suddenly realized Adrian's words actually were coming from his own experience. I didn't know the whole story behind their relationship, but it was clear he just revealed another part of it.  
"Yeah... Maybe I get a bit too into reliving the past..." Adrian said.  
"You think?" Sydney scoffed.  
I turned around in order to get back to work as they started to kiss, when Adrian started to speak again: "Anyhow, don't let her have my past... It's the last thing I want for her. I really don't want her to end up like me. I brought her back to life because I wwanted her to live, but.. Not my life. Well, she can live they way I do right now, because my life is freaking awesome, but the way I lived before... I didn't even live for real! Please don't let that happen to her."  
"I guess it's my turn for a spill of emotions?" I asked. Sydney and Adrian both nodded. Adrian'd spoken with that serious voice people always get when they tell something hurtful, but he already looked perfectly fine now.  
I exhaled and dealed with the fact that I'd have to uncover my soul for them. More or less.  
"I feel like I have nothing to offer her!" I exclaimed. Sydney glanced at me surprised and Adrian's look told me I was repeating myself.  
"Yes, now she wants to be with me and doesn't realize how much less I really am, but some day she will notice. I wouldn't even be a good boyfriend for her. I'd just mess everything up and dissapoint her. I don't really care what everyone else thinks about me - well, maybe a little bit. What I'm afraid of is that when Jill realizes what I'm really like and how very nothing I am, she'll leave me. I couldn't survive that," I said, my voice cracking. "Yes, I love her, yes, I want her," I chuckled, "But I'm too afraid. I've never let fear control me before, but this just scares the heck out of me and I think I'm out of control."  
Sydney and Adrian were watching me with blank looks, both of them dumbfounded. No, they didn't expect something like that from someone like me.  
"Eddie, that's not-" Sydney began, but Adrian cut her off: "No, Sage, let it go." Those weren't words we heard Adrian say very often. "He'll find a new problem every time we find a solution. He needs to realize alone. You've been thinking quite a lot about this, huh?" he asked, looking at me. I nodded. "Well, think a little more. You have a point, but there's more to realize. I just hope it hits you before she leaves."  
I had no idea what he meant, I saw no solution from my problem - except for avoiding Jill. My friends left me alone after that. I once passed the cafeteria by in the morning and noticet Jill was there again, so I didn't dare to join them either. With Meredith gone as well, I was damn lonely. It hurt me so bad every single day that I couldn't be next to Jill, that she wasn't even near, but I just didn't dare to see her.  
It once hit me that maybe I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong. But I wasn't, I'd go beg her forgiveness in a moment if I saw a way. Deep inside, no matter my doubts, I was still convinced it's wrong for us to be together. She would've realized it soon and dumped me.

There wasn't a single thing the Court didn't have. A supermarket - a dosen of them, actually - wasn't an exception. I mostly ate at the cafeteria, because it was cheap and the clock was always ticking on duty, but now I had time over my head. I started to cook for myself and the supermarkets were a very welcome factor with that.  
One of the people making use of that same supermarket was Mia Rinaldi. Or so I assumed when I once met her shopping for eggs. I had to admit I was delighted to see her. She was a Moroi, but not a royal and not at all conceited. Not anymore. Mia was also there when Mason died. It brought us a lot closer, but it's been a very long time since we last actually talked. I visited her in the beginning of the summer with Jill and Neil, but we never got a chance for a little conversation. She invited me to her place, which I gladly accepted after I took my groceries home.  
Mia served me some ice crem - it was becoming a tradition - and told me everything I'd missed. She showed me some of her magic moves I immediately thought Jill would be thrilled to see.  
"Hey, can you show me some fighting moves? I've practised a lot with guardians, but I'm afraid they're not taking it as seriously as I'd like. They're too gentle with me. They still think I'm weak," she said with a pout.  
I agreed to train her a bit. That pout made her even more like a doll, with her chubby cheeks and blond curls. And her attitue reminded me of Jill a lot. I couldn't deny her of anything. We moved the furniture to the side a bit and began. It wasn't hard, especially since Mia was a quick study.  
I even had the time to let my mind fly away every once in a while. To Jill, of course. I gave this up to her! It felt wrong, guilt was haunting me again. It was the most common emotion I felt lately. At least Neil told me he's going to train her when we sat together on our flight from Pentisuala. I never found out if he stood by his promise.  
I think Mia saw something was bothering me. She noticed I wasn't as focused as I should be and after I showed her a move to ruin your enemy's balance, she used it on me and nailed me to the floor.  
"Ah, defeated," I sighed with a smile on my face. Her face said the small win delighted her, especially since I didn't go easy on her. I managed to shake off the oppressive thoughts and focused again. Once I did that, we made a true party out of that training.  
"I should probably get going," I told Mia after two hours or so of practise. Actually, I wouldn't even really call it practise because of how much fun we had during it.  
"No, why? I think Jill and Christian are coming over later, but you can still stay," she said.  
Jill? Jill was coming? I hadn't seen her since the party. It didn't feel like it because she was always in the corner of my mind. But I wanted to see how she was doing. If she felt any better. She definetly looked better at the party.  
And even if I hated to admit it, I kind of wanted to pay her back for the Ambrose comments and all the other things that happened on vacation. She fired me, and although I guess I was the one pushing her away, I felt like my pride was forcing me to show her I'll be just fine without her. If she saw me with Mia, especially during fight practise, she might think...  
It suddenly hit me how desperate I am.  
And yet, I waited, every minute dragging on like eternity.  
Then, a knock on the door. My heart raced out of my chest. I dug my nails into my palms to calm it down and watched Mia open up. It was Christian and Jill, of course.  
My desperate plan was working. An expression of shock drew on Jill's beautiful face. She gasped quietly, then quickly flashed a smile with her cheeks blushing. She was so beautiful and adorable and perfect it suddenly made me like the world's biggest jerk for wanting to hurt her on purpuse. The fact that I succeeded killed me even more.  
I knew I have to get out of there. "Hey, Mia, I'm gonna go now, I said quickly. "Hi, guys." I sneaked through the door and closed it behind me. Then I leaned on it with my back, my heart pounding and my face burning. What the heck was I doing?  
I didn't have much time to calm down. Mia told me Christian and Jill were coming so they could practise fighting with magic together. That meant they were leaving her apartment, and my department wouldn't be very efficent if I just ran into them a minute after leaving. So I left the building, walking in the opposite direction of the meadow that I knew was their regual fighting spot.  
After it felt like I was far enough from Jill, I wandered the Court's large gardens aimlessly, lost in thoughts about how wrong everything went. I didn't have anything else to do.  
After what could be minutes or hours, I heard a racket coming from the palace. From behind it, to be precise. Even though it was a palace, there was a huge parking lot behind it. It was only meant for the cars of councilors, the palace's permanent residents and important guests, but it was still always full.  
A small limousine stopped in the driveway, letting a boy my age or a bit younger walk out of it. He was Moroi, tall and brown-haired, wearing expensive-looking clothes, and I'd seen him before. He must've been a royal, because there was no other way he'd have access to this parking lot, even if the driver couldn't park because of the crowd.  
And speaking of crowd, a bunch of people were standing there, staring at the poor boy with huge eyes. I wished I knew where I'd seen him before. He seemed important.  
I didn't realize just how very important he was until I saw Rose and Lissa rushing out of the palace towards him. Even the always-so-busy Queen had interest in him. Who the heck was he? I couldn't ask neither Lissa nor Rose, because they were both already swallowed by the crowd.  
I saw my chance to find out when Adrian neared the crowd. We hadn't spoken since he promised not to involve into my love life anymore. I didn't know if he was mad at me or anything, but I didn't care. I was curious.  
"What's going on? Who is this guy?" I asked. Adrian eyed me surprised for a second.  
"He's Reed Lazar," he replied.  
"Reed Lazar?" I repeated in disbelief. It couldn't be true. Reed Lazar had lost his mind. The last time I heard, he was in a mental hospital.  
"The guy who-" Adrian continued, noticing my confusion, but I cut him off: "Okay, I know who Reed Lazar is. But how is he here? How us that possible?"  
"That's kind of what I've come to find out. I'll let you know if I do."  
He dissappeared in the crowd as well, joining Rose and Lissa who were with no doubt the ones who let him know what's going on.  
More and more people were joining the crowd. That included Christian, Mia and, of course, Jill. The bond seemed to be working. Christian and Jill found their way towards Reed, while Mia joined me standing by the side.  
"I'm not really a crowd person," she told me. I smiled, glad I wasn't alone. We didn't talk much, we were mostly just watching what was going on. I couldn't hear words, but Jill looked very close to Reed. It made me so very jelous again, I didn't even know how did she do it every single time. She'd talked about the events with Reed and Avery once, she hadn't had a very positive impression about him back then, he was even agressive to her once. But she had also told me it wasn't his fault, it was all Avery's. And now he was here, perfectly fine, obviously sweet to her, making the blood in my veins boil.  
"Jesse's coming," Mia said with her voice happier than I'd heard it all day. Her words hit me like a cold shower. I suddenly remembered she'd mentioned earlier this summer that she was dating Jesse Zeklos. That toppled all my attempts to make Jill jelous. I don't even know why that hurt me so much, when I'd decided it was wrong. Maybe because I'd made an even bigger fool out of myself than I'd thought.  
Jesse, confirming Mia's words, arrived a few minutes after she'd announced it. Mia squealed with happiness and threw herself into his arms. He picked her up and spunn her around, both of them laughing. I felt stakes of pain piercing my heart when I though that could've been Jill and me.  
Maybe it was an instinct, maybe I wanted to avoid the hurtful sight and rest my eyes on something beutiful, but my gaze looked for Jill. She was watching me as well. I craved for that look in that moment, I needed it. I just wanted to rush towards her and hold her next to me, to beg her forgivness and have her mine.  
She looked away instantly. Like she subconsiously wanted me to keep the promise I'd given to myself. It worked; it sobered me up. I sighed. What did just get over me? Again? I had no idea it'd be this hard.

The next days were a tourture. She was the only thing on my mind, every attempt to forget her was in vain. I changed my mind every day. Mostly when I was at work. Thankfully, I always said later. That way I didn't get a chance to do anything and regret it later. Reason always reached me a few minutes after the longing won me over. I was counting down days until her departure. I knew it wouldn't get better. But at least she'd be out of my reach then.  
I craved for her every minute, but I couldn't be more happy we never met. I loved her with my body, heart and soul, but I hated what she did to me. What I did to her. I was so confused, but I saw it all so cleaely. Jill looked happier than before when I saw her, but I'd never hit the ground harder. I just wanted it to be over already.  
My work was my only sanctuary. I still believed in what we did, even if it robbed me a life with her. They come first. It doesn't matter who they are in this case.  
The harder I worked, the better I liked it. It took more energy and my mind only had one focus. I didn't like pruning, for example. It was easy and I thought about Jill while doing it. I especially didn't like pruning in the rain. I of course had to do it on one of the rare rainy days in the hot summer. It didn't pick up my mood.  
My shifts were arranged very strangely. There were days when I barely worked, but today I had to stand in the rain for hours. It was late afternoon, and I didn't even get lunch yet. Hans told me to work until I'm done. After thinking about it at least ten times, I decided it was impossible to read wheter this guy likes you or not.  
And so, I was standing there in the rain, pruning trees, when I heard steps coming my way. I put my head up and my eyes almost fell out. I let go of the gardening scissors I'd been using to get a better look. The person walking towards me was wearing an oversized jacked and had a hood over her head. And either I was seeing things, or it was Jill.  
"Jill?" I asked. I was quite sure it wasn't her, because she couldn't go anywhere else than towards me in this direction and I was sure she didn't come to me. But it seemed so like her that I just had to ask. Who else could it be? I'd recognise her in a crowd of people from a mile away.  
The figure gave a barely visible nod and pulled a light brown curl od hair from under the hood. I chuckled. Yes, it was definetly Jill. Excitement mixed with fear swelled over me. It was the feeling I recently always seemed to get around her.  
"You're not actually going to work in this weather, are you?" she asked me in a tone that let me know she isn't going to allow it.  
I shrugged. "Well, I have to get it done. That's what my supervisors told me." She didn't have to know about Hans's changing opinion about me.  
Jill rolled her eyes. "Okay, tell your supervisors that the Dragomir princess told you to get home and dry yourself before you freeze," she commanded. I almost laughed, for the first time in a while. Even when we couldn't be further apart, she was still the best thing that had ever happened to me, always saving me like this.  
"Alright, if you say so," I said amused. "Thanks." She smiled, turned around and began to walk back in the direction she came from. The rain was so violent you couldn't see ten feet ahead of you. I'd never admit it, but I was very happy I could escape these conditions. The princess's order was quite an excuse, and although I'd never admit it, I was happy to escape the cold and the rain. I was sorry I didn't bring a jacket. Or diving equipment, with all the rain leaking into my eyes.

A few days or weeks (I lost track of time) later I felt this was going to stay the last time we'd met. Ever. I hadn't seen her since, and it was the day before her department. It was killing me, but I had no excuse to meet her. I certinately wouldn't do it without an excuse.  
Then the not-completely-unexpected happened. Adrian almost broke my door pounding it. When I opened up, his expression told me he came for another 'intervention' despite his promise.  
"I know I said I'd stop, but hear this out," he said. I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm afraid you won't realize it. Not in time. For what I know, you've loved her since forever. You've always been waiting for a chance with her. Now you've got it, and you won't take it? Let me tell you something: you'll never get over her. And she'll never get over you as well. You won't find someone else, because if a girl who loves you and gets you scares the heck out of you, how will you ever be with someone else? You'll always wonder 'What if...?' But she will find someone. There are candidates gathering all around her already, I'm sure you've noticed. You've got plenty of girls around you as well, but you're pushing them all away. Jill won't, as soon as she convinces herself she's over you. Maybe you'll even get to be her guardian again when that happens."  
"But then I'll be stuck watching her for the rest of my life with whoever's my replacement, dying in the process," I guessed. Adrian nodded.  
"Or you'll never see her again," he added.  
We both awkwardly stood in silence considering that thought for a few seconds.  
"Look, she's leaving tomorrow." As if I didn't know that. "She misses you wildly, and I know you miss her too. Just... Gosh, you're killing both of you! At least go see her and say goodbye to her in a decent way, don't you think she deserves that?"  
"I can't just go there and..." I sighed, then a memory hit me. "Wait, I think I left some stuff in her room, I need to go pick that up anyway."  
Adrian's face lit up. Sometimes I got the feeling that he took my relationship with Jill for a personal project or something like that. "Okay, good, go. Go! Right now. Bye! Go!" he said, pushing me out the door. I shook my head in disbelief but kept walking towards Jill's building anyway. The day was coming to an end and I didn't have forever.  
As I was walking the hall her room was at the end of, I heard her voice. Just like her face, I'd recognise it in a crowd of thousands. But it sounded like she was singing. I'd never heard her sing before. With no reason, I rushed towards the door with sudden excitment and opened it up. I was sure she's wince at the sound, but she didn't.  
Actually, I think I faced the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen in my life. Jill was leaning on her window shelf, only showing me her back, singing the lyrics: "...so close you can almost taste it  
Release your inhibitions  
Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten..."  
She took a break as the chorus was over, and I gasped with a realization in that same moment, startling her so that she turned around. But I didn't care that she caught me in a creepy stalker-ish position, because the lyrics of her song reached into my heart, as if they spoke right to me. While her angle-like voice reached directly into my soul. How come she'd never sang before, when she could do it so well? How come I didn't know it?  
I forgot about that quickly, because the song's message still shocked me. But honestly, it was exactly what I'd been waiting for.  
"Sorry, I... I shouldn't have... It was awful, I... I just had to."  
Jill's big green eyes were looking at me desperately. I couldn't let her think her singing wasn't good! I... She... I didn't even have the words to tell her!  
"No, Jill, don't feel bad. It was beautiful. It's like you were meant to sing..." I breathed. Better said, she just gave me all the answers I needed in my life in the most beautiful way possible.  
I had been afraid of the pain she'd cause me if she ever break up with me, especially because of my social position. But now I realized I was in much more pain for holding myself away from her. And so was she. A pretty bad plan for making her happy, right? But I always claimed her happiness was all I ever wanted.  
And no one said we have to be together forever! I should enjoy the present while it lasted. I should be with her, the girl I love, the girl who loves me. If she dumps me later, that's okay. I could say I tried. No 'What if...?'  
I'd talked about protecting her, about being a good guardian. But was I really one? Recently, I'd been doing nothing except for feeling sorry for myself, drowning in my own suffering without her. It would be much efficent to protect my girlfriend, the only thing I crave and love, the one I'd actually do anything for.  
And after all, it was my life! I should live it, it wouldn't last forever. Jill was probably one of the rare charges I could get that would let me. And it's not like I wanted anyone else. You have to feel your life now and live it... You have to trust your instincts. They'd never let me down before... And they also told me about danger anytime it was around.  
Who cares about royals, they can't feel what I feel! I loved Jill and that was all that mattered.  
Of course she would be the one to let me know of all that I could have but was rejecting.  
Jill's gaze was still on mine and I realized I'd been staring at her for a few minutes blankly. I suddenly felt extatic, hyperactive, but I had no idea what to do. Panic swelled over me. What do you do in a position like this!?  
"Sorry, I'm out," I quickly chuckled and set towards the door. After I closed it, I realized I haven't yet fullfilled the actual reason I came: I didn't get my things.  
Well, I also didn't say goodbye, but after what just happened, I was sure we'd see each other again.  
So I walked back in.  
"Right, I was here because I need to get my things before you leave," I told her and opened the closet I knew they were in. Actually, there was nothing else in there.  
I looked at Jill while leaving the room. It occured to me that since she was the girl I wanted to be with, it might would have been a wise idea to say something. In that moment I bumped into the door frame, almost dropping my things in the process.  
"Bye," I quickly blurted, promising myself I'd come back.  
But it turned out I had no idea what to do. I couldn't just go there and say "Hey, Jill, I know we barely spoke for a month and a half and I know I've been a complete jerk to you, but after you sang a song, I realized I actually love you, so please don't go back to the academy and stay with me."  
So a few minutes later after the revealation of my life I found myself in front of Adrian's door. He seemed surprised.  
"Please, block yourself from Jill," was the first thing I said.  
"Done," he replied. "What happened?"  
"Your were right. All of you," I said. My enthusiasm still didn't fade.  
"About...?"  
"Yes!"  
Adrian stared at me in disbelief. I could barely believe it was true as well. I felt as light as a feather and I loved her so much...  
"What changed your mind?"  
"Huh?" I asked. "Oh. Her! She sang this song..."  
"Okay, I don't even wanna know," Adrian stopped me laughing. "What did she say? Why didn't I get ten thousand texts?"  
"I, uh..." How did I find myself in sucha weird position? "I haven't told her yet."  
"Wait, so let me get this straight. She was there when you changed your mind. And you haven't told her?"  
"Well, it doesn't make sense when you say it like that," I wavered. "I couldn't even think! I don't know how to tell her!"  
"Wait, first. Are you sure about this now?"  
I nodded.  
"Well fuck, get yours together and we go!" he exclaimed. I was completely in a mood to colaborate, but Sydney stopped us. I didn't even know where she came from. I was really off my guard.  
"Hold on, guys, you can't do that."  
"Oh, really?" Adrian sighed in exasperation. "Now that he changed his mind, you're against it?"  
"I'm not against it," Sydney argued. "But you can't break a girl's heart, leave it broken for a month and then just expect her to take you back! You gotta do something big, flashy, romantic!"  
"Actually, I think she will take him back," Adrian replied. "I mean, remember us? You broke my heart, and I was the one who did something big, flashy, romantic!"  
"Well, I paid for the fondue! And I generally make you food!"  
"So, what, I do the romantic and you make the food?"  
"That's what we've always done."  
"Sounds good."  
I usually found their pickering for nothing annoying or adorable, but this time I didn't even mind it. No matter what they came up with, I'd end up with Jill once and for all!  
Right?  
Wait. I suddenly realized Sydney was right. Who said she'd take me back? I left her hanging for a month, she could already be all over someone new, like Luke or Ambrose or Reed Lazar. What was I thinking to just let everything go? I couldn't do this! No!

**So? What now? Did he just change his mind? Again? Could Eddie be any more confusing? Wait and find out…**

**As hard as it was, I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I loved the change. I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. For the next chapter, I'm going back to Jill, starting where the last chapter finished. I hope and think I'll be done with it quite soon, although I think it'll be a bit shorter than the rest. But who knows, I thought I won't have enough material for a chapter while planning this one ;)**

**I might write another chapter in Eddie' POV later, depends on the responses i get for this one. So pleae, review and let me know if you'd like that!**


	16. Once And For all

**This is exactly how soon I hoped the new chapter would be done. It's a bit shorter than most, although I don't think it's the shortest… I was also finished so soon because I had a few parts written before, so I just had to fix them a little now.**

**Thank you all so much for the new reviews… 40 REVIEWS YAY! So, yes, please keep up. And, as always, I own nothing, Richelle Mead does, there are spoilers, I'm sorry for mistakes and enjoy!**

I had a whole day in front of me before the flight in the late afternoon. But I had no way to spend it, with everything packed. I knew it was going to drag on like forever. And I was already very anxious, I couldn't wait for the whole thing to happen already, no matter how nervous I was. I couldn't calm down until it happened.  
My main distraction was thinking about Eddie, until it made me even more anxious cause I knew less than ever where we were at. I wanted to see him! And so, as thinkimg about him got too overwhelming, I tried to focus on something else and became nervous about my department even more. I kept walking in circles with no way out.  
Angeline gave me the impression she's just nervous and anxious as me, and she decided to chase the uneasiness away by visiting me. I didn't mind, because she gave me a distraction. She greeted me in her usual relaxed way, but I saw a tensed expression under that mask.  
"I haven't talked to you in days. What did I miss?" she asked.  
I shrugged. "Nothing.  
"Eddie?" she said, lifting her eyebrows in a way that made me laugh.  
"I don't know, I really don't know what are we... Does he hate me? Mabye he can't even look into my eyes? Does he even still care?" I gave up on pretending I don't care. I was still trying to get over him, but who even cares one day before I'd never have to see him again. Except actually... That thought kind of stung me.  
Angeline put her hand on her hip in outrage. Someone was being extra dramatic today.  
"Are you being serious? How can you even doubt that he loves you? It's so obvious that..."  
"You know what?" I cut her off. "I keep repeating that like an old record, if he loved me for real, he would've done something about it. Love is not something you put your fears in front of. Not if it's real. When you love, it takes over the center of you and you're willing to do anything for it. At least that's what happened to me. The only person who can hold you back from that is - him. And that's exactly what he did."  
Angeline just stared at me with her eyes popping out. The amount of bitter emotional speaches I'd given lately has grown alarmingly high.  
"Hey, let's not fight over wheter he loves you or not," she suggested. I agreed with that part. "Let's find out!" The spark in her eyes made me worried about the way she'd want to find out, and I was reluctant to agree with that.  
"Find out how?" I asked gingerly.  
"Let's make a quiz," Angeline replied, lost in her vision. "You know, just for fun. I doubt you'll actually want to give it to him, but let's make it anyway."  
It was either that, or thinking in circles while watching TV.  
"Sure, why not."  
I dug out a pile of paper and a pen for each of us. We decided to handwrite it, to make it more authentic.  
And after two hours, during which we got into a few fights, we were (quite) happy with our final product:

_**Do you love Jill Mastrano Dragomir Quiz**__**  
**__**By Angeline Dawes and Jill Mastrano**__**  
**__**1\. How much do you think about her?**__**  
**__**A) all the time. Like when she... What was I talking about?**__**  
**__**B) I gotta, duh, I'm her guardian!**__**  
**__**C) tryin not to.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**2\. Would you die for her?**__**  
**__**A) anywhere, anytime!**__**  
**__**B) duh, I'm her guardian!**__**  
**__**C) yeah, I'd do it for any friend.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**3\. Do you dream about her?**__**  
**__**A) every night. Tonight we... *blushes***__**  
**__**B) sure, you gotta know the person you protect.**__**  
**__**C) um, yeah, I mean, no, I mean, sure, but it's totally normal and it doesn't mean anything, I mean... *blushes***__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**4\. What did you feel when she dated other guys? **__**  
**__**A) pure jelousy and the need to kill.**__**  
**__**B) I checked really well if they're dangerous. They weren't unfortunately.**__**  
**__**C) nothing! Nothing. Well, I was happy for her. That's what the sting stands for, right?**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**5\. How did kissing her feel?**__**  
**__**A) Wanna hear every detail? Cause it's all I ever think about.**__**  
**__**B) it was her fault! I was still watching around!**__**  
**__**C) no biggie. Not my life and stuff. *blushes***__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**6\. How do you face being next to her and touching her?**__**  
**__**A) I burn. I'm alive. But I won't be complete if I don't kiss her again.**__**  
**__**B) it distracts me from protecting her. But I guess it feels nice. That's not wrong.**__**  
**__**C) I try to act normal. I can be honest here: it's hard.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**7\. What's your idea of a perfect date?**__**  
**__**A) Jill.**__**  
**__**B) no time for dates. But it would be Jill if I had a chance.**__**  
**__**C) not Jill! Or, well, maybe. As a friend.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**8\. What's your favorite eye color?**__**  
**__**A) jade green!**__**  
**__**B) I don't think about it. Simply: green.**__**  
**__**C) green. But only cause I see it most.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**9\. Would you leave her if you could get anything you want?**__**  
**__**A) never!**__**  
**__**B) she's my charge. It's my job not to. So no.**__**  
**__**C) no! I mean, no calmly. She's my friend.**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**10\. Why don't you just ask her out?**__**  
**__**A) good question. I love her anyway.**__**  
**__**B) because I'm her guardian! I can't do that!**__**  
**__**C) um... Why would I? We're friends. Maybe I should. Should I?**__**  
**__**D) other.**__**  
**__**Most A answers:**__**  
**__**It's clear you're 100% in love with her! What are you waiting for? Advice: ask her out.**__**  
**__**Most B answers:**__**  
**__**You're using your job as an excuse. You love her and you know it. Advice: don't do that. Relax! You can still do your job. Ask her out.**__**  
**__**Most C answers:**__**  
**__**Oh, honey, who hurt you so bad that you can't trust? Can't you see you love her? Maybe you're just insecure. Advice: don't be. Love's knocking on your door, let it in! Ask her out.**__**  
**__**Most D answers:**__**  
**__**What is your problem? There's no way at all you're normal! Come on! Other's not always an answer! Are you lying about this? Advice: there's no helping you. But still, one last shot. Ask her out.**__**  
**_Most of the results and advices were written by Angeline, plus the questionable parts of the quiz. I was called "no fun" several times for pointing out how questionable they were. There were plenty of clever remarks on every page (my personal favorite was on the cover: For a Not At All Specific Guardian Whom She Has No Feelings Towards), a lot of doodling and crossing, most of the pages were ripped in several areas. Angeline was also obsessed with the 'other' answer and had to write it down every single time. I wrote it once and took it for a victory with no comparation. Actually, the quiz was probably nothing to be proud about. But we still were. And we had a crazy amout of fun while writing it.  
We couldn't agree on what to do with it, so we left it alone for a while. The quiz definetly served its purpuse - it cheered me up. Well, maybe that wasn't the purpuse in the beginning, but that's what it turned out to be.  
Maybe an hour or two later Trey dropped by, to tell us we should start getting ready to leave. Not to the airport, though. Adrian was the one taking all three of us to there, but I wanted to say goodbye to all my friends that weren't coming with us, so I told them to come to 'our' cafeteria for the lunch for the last time.  
Before we took off, Angeline and I decided to show our quiz to Trey. He studied the paper for maybe a minute or two, then bursted out laughing.  
"Damn, I wonder who's it for," he said, catching his breath. "But seriously, if you give him this, Eddie will definetly realize. Either that he loves you or that the two of you are as creepy as hell."  
I laughed, but Angeline glared at him with his blue eyes narrowed.  
"That was a compliment," Trey added promptly as he saw his girlfriend's look. "I know no other girl who could nail a board and knock a person twice her size out at the same time. And look lovely while doing it," he said lovingly. They began looking at each other all cute and couple-like.  
"I also know no other girl who owns the board, the nails and the hammer to do it," I remarked dryly.  
As the three of us arrived to the cafeteria, I felt a lump in my throat. All of my friends were sitting behind our regular table and I knew it was the last time in a while I saw them all together. I didn't want to leave. But I also didn't want to stay.  
In the two hours we were there, I didn't eat a thing. I couldn't. Lissa kept asking me if I wanted anything special, but I'd be perfectly happy with the regular if I could eat. I couldn't even think about food. It was weird, because I normally had an appetite people couldn't imagine with my size. But right now everything was too overwhelming. I only took a glass of water and spent those two hours slowly sipping it.  
Another thing tourturing me, besides leaving the place that became my home and the people who became my family, was that Eddie wasn't there. He was the reason I was leaving, for goodness's sake! Couldn't he at least tell me goodbye? I was realizing it's over between us, for real this time. If he wanted to, he would've come here and did something adorable in the way he knew, but it wasn't happening. It was over.  
The flight was at 5 pm, and we had to be there at least an hour earlier. We still had loads and loads of luggage to take there, so the goodbyes began at 3 pm. People kind of lined up in front of us. I would've laughed if the situation was any different.  
Lissa was the first in line. When my eyes met hers, completely identical, the tears swelled up. We were so far apart, but now we were sisters for real. I'd never had a sister before, I'd never though I'd have one. Now, after months of missunderstanding we found a common language, and I was leaving her.  
"Lissa..." I suddenly thought of something I could say to slow down the attack of emotions. "Mia told me Andre was the last one who had the Dragomir ring. He showed it to her. She told me and Christian when she overheard us talking about it."  
Lissa's face lit up, but only for a second. "Thank you, but unfortunately that doesn't change anything. Andre is dead too."  
Right.  
"Well, now for that goodbye. I never thought I could accept a sister into my life, especially with the royal title drifting us apart, but it happened. You, you're impossible to not love. I'm going to miss you so much..." I felt tears slid down my cheecks. Lissa pulled me into a hug.  
"I could never want a better sister. I was afraid I'd ruin your life with all this royalty, but from your words, I assume I did quite a good job," she chuckled, her voice intersected with tears as well. "I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you. If you ever need anything... I get busy, but I'll always have time for you."  
Christian stepped towards me next.  
"I hate goodbyes, let's just get this over with," he muttered and swept me into his arms. We didn't say much, but I saw his eyes were red when he let me go and joined Lissa. It made me cry even more.  
"You people are making it completely impossible to look tough," Rose said and hugged me.  
"I certinately didn't imagine this when we first met," I said through the tears.  
"Me neither," she laughed. "Listen, you may do stupid things, but not too stupid. And keep fighting, with both magic and fists, you'll only use it later in life."  
"And you..." I wasn't sure what to say. "Never change."  
I noticed people were in line by couples as the next person to step towards me was Dimitri.  
"Listen, stay the most badass princess ever," he said. I gave a broken laugh.  
"That really means a lot coming from you."  
Mia normally didn't eat with us, but she joined this time for my sake. I was really grateful for that.  
"Keep practising magic," she told me.  
"I'm gonna miss practising with you," I replied. And then we hugged, both in tears. All these goodbyes were starting to kill me.  
It was Neil's turn then.  
"I would like to thank you for everything you've done for me. I was too uptight, it wasn't good for anyone. And I never would've met Olive if it wasn't for you. I... Thank you." His words honestly surprised me. I was still used to Neil being restrained, but I was really happy he opened up.  
"Thank you just as much," I replied with new tears in my eyes. "For the training and... Well, everything."  
Sydney was the last person standing there. She hugged me immediately, neither of us saying anything. I had another sister, even if not by blood.  
"No, this isn't it," she whispered. "You know we'll see each other again."  
"I wonder when," I said, my voice shaking.  
"Soon."  
With this not-quite-as goodbye it was time to leave. The lunch was too emotional for anyone to handle. I don't think any of us remained cold. Stepping over the cafeteria's door, I sobbed once again. I didn't care about the stares from everyone there, I didn't see them with my vision blurry from the tears. I didn't have the power to look back at my friends. Actually, I had a hard time walking and Adrian had to usher me towards his car. The bond told me he was quite stable for now, but both of us were sure it was only because he didn't get his goodbye yet.  
Taking us to the airport included driving us around the Court to gather all of our luggage. I don't think he minded, because, just like me, he didn't want to say goodbye. We were both pretending waiting for the plane would last forever.  
We first went to my room. All four of us had to put quite some effort into carrying all of my bags to the car. I was literally moving to a different state, you know. For the second time in the summer.  
Then we stopped at Trey and Angeline's place. They were in a different building. No matter the change of authority and so many scandals in that direction, dhampirs - and especially humams - would have to wait for a long time to be worth as much as Moroi in the eyes of the publicity.  
Trey and Angeline said they'd take care of their luggage on their own. All of it together probably wasn't as massive as mine. Well, Trey was a guy and Angeline basically owned nothing when she came to Amberwood, I doubted she had much more than one bag of property all together.  
I also doubted they were only getting luggage, seeing how long it took them. Of course I could understand they wanted to have some couple time before Trey would leave for college. They wouldn't be living together for a long time.  
Adrian and I were alone in the car. We were in silence, but it was comfortable. It was a perfect moment to have our goodbye now, more private than it would be at the airport, in everyone's sight. But I wanted to delay it for as long as possible. Shutting my eyes from the truth wasn't healthy, but I'd be forced to meet it soon enough.  
I did have another thing on my mind, although.  
"Adrian?" I asked.  
"Yeah?"  
"Honestly, do you think I'm over Eddie?"  
It was a question I'd been wondering for a while now. Adrian would be forced to tell me the truth, I'd recognise a lie immediately. He knew that. He was taking his chances. He could block himself from me, but it would be slightly obvious if he did it now when I had the track of his mind.  
"I don't know," he said evasivly. "How do you feel about him?"  
I sighed. That wasn't an easy question to answer. "I'm not sure. You know how I was mad at him and miserable about myself? It's not like that anymore. But I still love him and want to be with him. I'd do anything for him." Adrian tilted his head and I groaned. "I don't even know why I asked you this, because... That's not over him, is it?" Adrian's silence was revealing enough. "But it feels different."  
"It is," he replied. "You're not over him, you still love him, but you forgave him."  
And once again, Adrian got me better than I got myself.  
"And besides," he added, "Keep a door open for today, he still might change his mind."  
"Oh, let it go, he won't," I sighed.  
"Trust me, he will."  
There was something dangerous in Adrian's voice, he was so convinced it was true. I couldn't get to the bottom it, no matter how deep into his mind I pushed. It had something to do with the memories he always kept from me. He'd gotten so good at keeping his mind from me I no longer stood a shot. In that moment Trey and Angeline returned and I forgot about the strange words.  
Usually the Court's airport wasn't very busy. Of course the day we were leaving was an exception. Summer holidays were ending and many royals from here were coming home from vacation in the world's luxurious places. Other royals were leaving their Court relatives. Many kids like me were going back to private schools after the holidays. St. Vladimir's had its own private jet and they sent it to Court every year a week before classes began. That was the one I was leaving with.  
The jet with the academy's logo arrived too soon. But strangly the moment I saw it, the well known old anxiety ran over me. It would happen anyway, the sooner the better. I wanted to leave already and get this over with.  
But that one goodbye was still waiting for me. The goodbye from Adrian. He understood why I was leaving better than anyone, I knew he'd never blame me. I was only afraid that I couldn't stand being ripped away from him. The realization - I'm leaving - hit me for the tenth time today once I faced Adrian's green eyes.  
"I can't believe this is happening," I sighed.  
"Remember when I said you can't leave me?" I nodded. He gave me a small smile. "Well, I still think so. I'm gonna miss you so freaking much, Jailbait, I think I'm gonna lose my mind."  
"You think we can survive without each other?" I asked.  
"Dunno. Keep in my head, so that I'll have someone reasonable up there," he said. I smiled. That was what he always told me. Gosh, I'd die without me.  
"I think we need a spirit expert on on campus," I said, making him laugh.  
"I'm sorry to say this, but my place is here."  
"I know."  
I hugged him then. I tried to not start crying again, but I failed. It was too much. Maybe I would've made it if it wasn't for the same horrible feeling leaking through the bond. We stood there in a hug for a few minutes until the announcment that we can begin the boarding. We carried our bags into the jet and then came back outside. That was possible because it was a private jet and everything was more loose than with public flights.  
"So I guess we're leaving with the same jet, huh?" I heard behind me. Reed's blue eyes were watching me mishceviously.  
"Yeah, we probably should've realized that yesterday," I smirked. We spoke the day before and I found out he was leaving to the same school on the same day, but it didn't occure that we were leaving in the same way. I was glad, although. It was cool to have my new friend - whom I'd been afraid of before he came from a mental hospital - with me to keep my mind off of what I was leaving behind. He was still showing signs of a small crush on me and I was still trying to keep him in the friend zone because I couldn't even consider being in a relationship after Eddie.  
Fifteen minutes before the flight we figured it'd be better if we go to the plane. I was almost already in yet, my head turned agains the door that led inside. Adrian called me back. I didn't realize when he appeared in front of me.  
"One last hug," he said. I smiled, unable to turn him down, and wrapped my armsaround him.  
It seemed the hug would never end. It was hard to explain how I felt - I loved him and I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to leave. But I was anxious, I wanted to do it as soon as possible. There was nothing left for me here. A new begining awaited. But I also didn't want to let Adrian go. I knew he'd miss me just as much as I would. If I snuck out of his arms now, I'd only hurt him. He was even blocking from the bond again. It crossed my mind he didn't want me to feel how vunerable he was right now, although seeing how many times he'd done it, I wasn't even sure if he blocked conciously anymore or if it was just a coincidence.  
I tried to release him once, but he pulled me back in. We were already hugging for five minutes, but I refused to let go for the second time. Even if it was a little bit awkward. And weird.  
Angeline, who'd already gotten inside before, swang out the plane's door frame and lip-synced me: We have to go!  
I know, I replied. One second.  
I was about to say something to Adrian. Something about how the plane is leaving in ten minutes and that it was the last second to board, even if it'd break both of us. Then I heard tyres squeal behind us. Their volume gave me the feeling the car was a lot closer than it was even allowed to drive in the airport. I ripped myself out of Adrian's arms to see what'd happened. I still couldn't feel him, but he didn't look surprised.  
Well, I was surprised!  
Eddie was sprinting towards me accros the entire airport. It was a day since I last saw him, and the vision of him runnimg my way made me realize I'd been missing him. It made my heart melt. He was next to me in almost a second, all out of breath.  
"Jill," he breathed. I had no idea what to say. What was his purpuse here? I didn't know. I didn't know his intentions, but I was happier to see him than I wanted to admit.  
"I'm gonna leave you two alone," Adrian said with a smirk crossing his face. He also unblocked the bond. I'd gasp with the realization that this whole thing was planned, but I rather decided to listen to whatever Eddie had to say. Adrian's thoughts were telling me he defiently had something to say.  
"Listen, Jill," Eddie began. He was trying to but a brave face on, but I could see through him. He was really terrified and insecure. I tried not to giggle. It was an important moment, I should probably stay serious... But I felt like I know a secret about him that no one else does. It felt good.  
"I'm sorry for saying no. I shouldn't have. But I... I was so afraid... Cause I... I don't ever want to lose you again. I can't live without you, you know I've tried." He sighed. I knew the past few weeks were just as much struggle for him as for me.  
"I feel like I always mess everything up. The more I care about it, the worse it gets. I've never cared about anything or anyone the way I care about you, how horrible could it get with this then?" He paused and looked deep into my eyes. Not only he saw through me... I felt like I'm seeing a brand new side of Eddie.  
"I don't want to ruin everything again. And I don't even deserve you, I mean it and know it. I... I know I would protect you even more if we were together, but... You're a princess. You deserve a prince. I've realized my biggest fear is that if I were with you... Someday you'd realize how much less I actually am and find that prince. That would break my heart. I don't think I could handle that." The agony in his brown eyes was so obvious I could imagine him going over and over it in his head through weeks and months... This was the real reason for everything. Just the fact that he'd revealed it to me meant more than I could ever express with words.  
"But..." he continued with a playful smile crossing his lips. The story wasn't over, and it looked like it had a happy ending. "Then it occured to me that I'm hurting more without you now that I would have if you ever dumped me, so, since I can't really live without you... I think we should be together."  
I was almost about to laugh again. I was torn between "Wow, how romantic!" and "Yeah, you really realized that soon!" But it happened. Kind of. I couldn't believe it! No matter everything, I was impressed.  
"Jillian Mastrano Dragomir," Eddie said, holding my hand. Oh, so maybe something more romantic was still coming. His eyes were full of love and courage. He was nervous. I knew this was a big deal, it always is when someone says your whole name.  
"I love you. Not as a charge and not as a friend, just more than anything," he said.  
That was the most beautiful thing anyone'd ever told me.  
I felt guilty about feeling this good about myself after all the incesure things he'd just told me. And I don't think I'd ever been quiet for that long in my life.  
"Eddie..." I began. I didn't really know what I was going to say. I loved him. I didn't want him to suffer. And he needed to know all the things he considered himself as... Were just bullshit.  
"Yes, I'm a princess and that shit. But that doesn't mean I need a fucking prince. A knight in a shiny armour will do. And damn it, you fight better than any knight I know." He chuckled. Yeah, I didn't really know many kinghts.  
"Also, you at least have to give yourself a chance to mess it up. Although I don't think you will. And I don't think I could ever break up with you. Didn't you ever notice I almost died without you as well?"  
This time, he laughed for real. Well, that was my point, to cheer him up a bit.  
"Trust me, I love you too. Not as a guardian and not as a friend, just more than anything. Way longer than you know. So stop resisting, you can't escape me anymore," I said with a naughty smile over my face. Eddie smiled. Oh, goodness, I lived for those smiles.  
I knew Adrian was watching us from behind a huge pile of luggage with Sydney (I would know that without the bond), but I didn't care. He kind of deserved that. Since he stopped holding the bond back, I knew everything he did in order to get the two of us together. He did it, and the only thing I wanted to do was be with Eddie, now that it was possible.  
And after all those words and silliness, Eddie kissed me. Finally. I saw it coming the moment he began to speak, and now it was happening. After months of agony, he was mine.  
It wasn't just any kind of kiss, he leaned me back and pressed his lips to mine so strongly I could feel the desire running through him. The kiss was even better than the last one. It was defiently worth waiting. I completely forgot about everything in the universe, nothing but Eddie and his lips existed. His arms around me felt like they were meant to be that way. Our bodies seemed like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together, and so did our souls. He was everything to me, he loved me, and he was mine. Everything was perfect.

**Awww finally it happened! I literally just wrote this and I'm all head over heels over the fact that they're together at last… I could put this up as the last chapter. This could qualify as the end, really. They're together, right? But guess what, it isn't over. I've got too much left to say with this story. And I really hope you want to see some Jeddie as a, you know, couple. I'm not sure where I'm going with this next, I had a specific plan up to this, now everything's a bit loose. The next chapter might take a while, maybe I'll leave the story alone for a few days to think it through. Let's just say perhaps everything was too perfect…**

**Please let me know what you thought about this chapter!**


	17. A Fairytale

**Here's a new chapter! Thank you all for reviewing the last one, I hope you enjoy this one as much. Also, earlier this week I posted a oneshot called A Little Bit More, so if anyone wants some Sydrian, check it out! I own nothing, the amazing Richelle Mead does. I am sorry for mistakes, misspelled words and things like that. There are spoilers ahead, so be careful. If you have a minute, please review, follow, favorite, let me know what you think in any way that suits you. Enjoy!**

I didn't think the kiss would ever end, nor I wanted it to. I'd love to drown in the sweet, sweet oblivion. But nothing in my life was ever that simple.  
"Jill, are you coming!?"  
Angeline's yell woke me up from the heaven I'd been experiencing. I could've ignored it easily and forget about everything, but Eddie, the responsible one - as always - broke the kiss gently. I opened my eyes with a very legitimate fear that it was over, that the magic would dissappear... But the brown depths of Eddie's eyes were looking right back at me with the same love. His smile was just as wide as mine. No, he wasn't sorry. It was all real. The fairytale has begun.  
"JILL, THE DAMN PLANE IS LEAVING IN FIVE MINUTES, ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!?"  
Eddie and I exchanged mischevious smiles.  
"Um... Take the luggage back out. We're not leaving yet," I replied. Yeah, there was no way I was leaving him behind now.  
We both ran up the stairs to the entrance and helped carry the luggage. Angeline had gotten the hang of the whole guardian thing enough that she didn't ask any questions and just got to work, along with the confused Trey. But even with the help of Sydney and Adrian, the flight that ended up leaving without us was a bit delayed.  
"Okay, what is going on?" asked Angeline as we watched the academy's private jet dissappeare into the evening sky. The sun was just rising and the colors above the horizon were shining in beautiful red and purple shades. I never noticed airports were that romantic. Maybe it was because of Eddie's hand in mine.  
"Are you two a thing now?" Angeline kept asking, noticing us holding hands. Eddie and I looked at one another. We both smiled at the same time and nodded.  
"Well, that's great, it really is, I'm so happy for you two," she said. I knew she meant it, but the confusion on her face told me she excpected a deserved explanation of what would happen next. "But what now?"  
"I don't know, I really don't," I sighed. The smile on my face couldn't be erased. "The only thing I can tell you is that we're going nowhere today. We'll talk about what's next soon. I guess."  
I felt kind of bad for ruining all the painstakingly made plans about me and for stealing more of Lissa's already limited time to talk about what to do - she still considered me her responsibility -, but at the same time I wasn't sorry one bit. I was too busy being head over heels in love.  
"So what made you change your mind?" I asked Eddie. It was two hours after the airport events and we were walking down my beloved river, hand in hand, trying to make up for the lost time. We were supposed to meet Lissa the next afternoon. I wanted to spend every moment until then with him. Everyone had gone somewhere and I just wanted to be next to him. Well, to think, I'd wanted that before. Now I was allowed to it.  
"You changed my mind," he replied. Like me, he couldn't stop smiling as well. I couldn't believe we waited for that long. It almost seemed to good to be true.  
But I didn't understand how I changed his mind. What did I do? Ten thousand kisses and speeches couldn't change his mind, what could then? Noticing my confused look, he continued: "It was the song you sang. Remember? The lyrics spoke to me... I know it sounds weird, but think about it. They told me to live my life the way I want it, and that's with you."  
I looked down. I didn't want to show that my eyes were watering up. Of course I knew what he was talking about. The song I sang? That was so adorable and romantic and cute...  
"Is it crazy?" he asked suddenly. "To let a song dictate my life?"  
I looked back at him jerkily. Doubts were glittering in his eyes. How come I never noticed how insecure he actually was?  
"Eddie," I said defiantly, holding both of his hands. "You shouldn't let anyone or anything dictate your life."  
He shot me a wide grin, put his hands on my hips, lifted me into the air and kissed me. His touch was so exciting and magical, his taste so sweet.  
"So I guess we have our song, huh?" I breathed as the kiss was eventually over. He chuckled.  
We spent the next few minutes walking in comfortable silence. It was fascinating how it wasn't even awkward between us. We'd been pretry close before, I guess. And we'd been kissing often enough.  
I was lost in thoughts about how great everything turned out when something crossed my mind.  
"Wait, but you were actually in my room when it happened. Why didn't you just speak your mind?" I asked.  
"Well," he wavered. "I didn't know quite what to do. I don't know if you noticed, but I got really confused and shocked and energized, and I had no idea what to do about it. So I just left to get myself together." He paused shyly before saying the next words: "It was like I found all the answers in life."  
Thinking back at that afternoon, I remembered that was exactly what I had thought he looked like. Wow, I knew him well.  
"So I went to Sydney and Adrian's," he continued. "Adrian got surprisingly excited." I smiled at that. Yes, now I knew why he had been blocking from the bond. "Then Sydney told me I have to do something stunningly romantic and flashy in order to ever win you over and fought with Adrian in the process, while I got some serious doubts about the whole thing. Again. I actually told them I can't do it, but they both almost killed me instantly. Then I suggested I make you a romantic surprise at lunch, but Sydney, the brain of the operation, insisted that the last minute airport run would be the most romantic and movie-like."  
I knew the rest of the story.  
"Then Sydney drove you by in the last second while Adrian was hugging me for a disturbingly long time and keeping me weirdly still. Then you came and we both know what happened, while Sydney and Adrian both watched from behind a huge pile of luggage," I finished. Eddie smiled. I still couldn't get over how astonishing it made his already handsome face. He was so stunning.  
"Bond?" he asked.  
"Bond," I replied laughing. "Get used to it, I always know more than I should." Most of the things Adrian'd been hiding have already revealed to me. "I hope it didn't annoy you too much when he tried to change his mind."  
"Oh, only in the begining. But it actually helped, you know. He made a few things much clearer to me," he smiled. "And now... Now I wouldn't trade what I've got for anything in the world."  
I smiled, feeling my heart melting. His arms wrapped around my waist. We kissed again. I'd comment that we're not getting very far with this walk... But I couldn't mind less.  
We were still holding hands when Eddie brought me back home in the late evening. "You can't be in the sun that much," he told me.  
I asked him to stay. At least for a little while. I didn't want the day to fade away. I was afraid it would all vanish into thin air when he left. He said he can't deny me of anything. We both sat on the couch, his arm around my shoulders. It was like a dream. "This is all I ever wanted," I kept thinking. Cuddling with Eddie. A day ago I couldn't imagine that. Well, I could imagine, but I was aware very well that it's not real. At least it wasn't.  
The TV was on, but we didn't need it. We were talking in the way only we knew, blocking the entire world out. This time it felt even more personal, we were closer than ever. Maybe because we kissed every once in a while. The later it got, the more often we kissed. I stifled a yawn every now and then, but I refused to fall asleep. Eddie must've noticed I became tired. He pressed me another kiss, longer and sweeter than all the ones before. I gave him one last sleepy look and closed my eyes.

I'd never been that happy in my life before, that was all I knew. There was something I should've done, but I was so happy and tired and comfortable I didn't want to move... Everything around me felt warm and soft. I couldn't think clearly, I only realized I'm still half asleep.  
A beam of blinding light shone directly into my eyes, forcing me to open them. The sun had just gotten low enough to make its way through the window. I put a hand above my eyes to protect them.  
Suddenly memories of the day before hit me. Eddie had changed his mind... Or had it all been just a dream? I didn't know anymore. I haven't woken up completely yet, and panic swelled over me in my sleepiness. Had it been a dream? I didn't know.  
My gaze, roaming aimlessly around the room in confusion, fell on the nightstand next to my bed. It was wooden and small, usually where I kept my phone at night, along with a few books. Now my phone wasn't there, but a tiny sheet of paper lay on the surface. It was written all over with a writing I easily recognised as Eddie's. I picked it up, my hands shaking.  
You fell asleep. It was really hard to let you go because you looked so adorable when you slept in my arms, but I figured in the end that you wouldn't be very comfortable waking up on the couch. Call me when you wake up.  
Eddie  
P.S.: I love you.  
The further I read, the faster my heart raced. I felt myself blush as my lips curled into a smile. How could he possibly say he always messes everything up? He was the sweetest boyfried ever. And yesterday, the perfect day, the best day of my life was real.  
I began looking for my phone, so that I could call him right away. It was nowhere in the bedroom or the living room, I dug through half of the suitcases I was going to bring, making a mess out of the room I'd painstakingly cleaned two days ago, until in the end I found it in the large purse I'd wanted to turn in as my hand luggage.  
"Damn," I muttered. But I was still smiling! I felt like nothing could get me into a bad mood anymore. I dialed Eddie's number the moment I got the phone into my hands.  
"Hello?" my favorite voice in the world asked. Eddie answered on the second ring. I knew he hadn't in fact been sitting by the phone waiting for me to answer, he was just always available. His tone was as serious and ready to work as ever, but I sensed a glimpse of excitement after that. He had the caller's ID on his phone.  
"Hi, it's me," I said happily.  
"Hey," he replied, his voice turning even more eager. "I'm sorry I just left yesterday, I-"  
"I get it, I'd do the same if I had a sleeping girl in my lap," I chuckled, cutting him off.  
"An adorable sleeping girl," he corrected. My heart warmed up.  
"Oh, and I love you too," I said, reffering to his note. Gosh, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him! I was so extatic and happy, life was so wonderful I couldn't believe it was true.  
"I love you more," he said.  
"I love you most!"  
"I love you... Man, I don't know a superlative big enough to tell you," he laughed. I sighed happily.  
"I can't believe this is really happening. You're going to hear so much of this, but it just seems too good to be true..." I said with a dreamy voice. I was starting to bore myself with doubting the reality when I should just enjoy it, but I couldn't help myself.  
"Well, maybe it was too tourturing to be true before. I think this is how love is supposed to feel," he told me.  
"I know! I mean, I've been in love before... But it didn't feel quite as powerful and great. It's only been a day, and I've never been happier," I said, another smile drawing over my face.  
"I've been in love with you," he replied. "For a year. But it never felt quite as great until we were together for real. It's true, it's only been a day, and I feel like we're meant to be like this."  
"That's because we are," I chuckled. I was bursting with happiness that he felt the same as me. "But it still seems so perfect it's unreal... I got scared it was all a dream when I woke up. Are you really mine now?"  
"I always was," he said hotly. We were both quiet for a while, then we both laughed.  
"Let's get some breakfast," I suggested.  
"I was just about to ask if you're hungry," he replied. "In the cafeteria in ten minutes?"  
"Are you crazy? I still have to get dressed!" I exclaimed.  
"Okay, no hurry," he chuckled. "I'll pick you up in half an hour."  
I stood in the room blankly for a second after the end of the call. I wasn't sure what to do first. Should I clean up the mess left after my mad phone search? In my pyamas? I decided to chage first. I grabbed my favorite T-shirt and shorts, along with my toothbrush that I still had packed. I brushed my teeth, showered and got dressed as quickly as possible, then tried to decrease the explosion of clothes on the floor the best I could. I knew he didn't really care, but I instinctly wanted to look my best in front of him.  
A knock on the door stopped my hysteric cleaning. Eddie was exactly on time. I dropped the clothes I was holding on the ground and hurried towards the door. The smile on his face took my breath away. I ran into his arms and kissed him.  
"I love you," he said after he let go.  
"I love you too." We couldn't say it enough.  
"I'm so sorry about the mess," I sighed, awkwardly gesturing around the room. Eddie did nothing but smiled in return.  
"I really don't mind, as long as I get to see you."  
"I'm gonna have to get you a key," I chuckled. He didn't reply, but the look on his face was talkative enough that it was clear he wouldn't mind that.  
We were kissing and holding hands all the way to the cafeteria as well. "Wait," I said when he kissed me in front of the entrance. "Should we be hiding? You know, so that we wouldn't attract too much attention?"  
He hesitated for a few seconds before answering. "Maybe, but isn't it a bit late for that?" he said in the end. The smile on his face was warm and amused and I knew he was right. This wasn't Hollywood, we had nothing to hide.  
"So this is how it's gonna be from now on, huh?" I asked and flashed him a huge smile. I knew things wouldn't be perfect forever and that this euphoria our relationship began with was only present in the beginning. But I wanted to enjoy my fairytale.  
"I'd sure love it," he said and pulled me a bit closer, making me giggle in the process. "You said you hardly believe it, and on one hand it's the same with me. But on the other it feels so different that I can't forget about us for a minute. I feel so free-"  
"Wow, I should be proud. Not many guys say they feel free in a relationship," I remarked. I knew I'd cut him off, but I just had to. It was worth it to see the grin on his face. "You were saying?"  
"I finally know my life is my life," he said. His eyes were glowing in a way I hardly knew in him before. "I mean, I'd still die for you in an instant, but I don't want to treat myself like a shadow of a charge anymore. You never treated me that way in the first place. You, Jill, you showed me there's more to my life than following orders. I'm finally living my life and I'm so glad to have you in it."  
I felt tears stinging in my eyes. I was so touched he appreciated my influence on his life so much. One of the tears slipped down my cheek. Noticing that, he carefully wiped it away. At that point we began to kiss again. It felt so good to be a lovestruck teenager again after over a year.  
Eddie kissed my hand and gallantly walked me into the cafeteria - finally. We spent the rest of the day together until 4 pm, when were all supposed to meet. I didn't want to separate from Eddie now when he was really mine. I finally realized it was real, and it made me a tiny bit clingy. I didn't see him mind, and he seemed more than eager to spend every minute with me as well. I was probably a bit subjective, but he was the sweetest, most adorable and most romantic boyfried there had ever been. We were so in love it was cheesy.  
When we showed up to Lissa's office, where we were supposed to meet (we were a few minutes late due to... being busy), he gallantly opened the door for me. "The last of the gentleman," Rose smirked inside of the room. I couldn't hide the smile on my face.  
"How's it going, Jailbait?" Adrian asked, his smile equally wide. He must've noticed my aura. Or maybe the happiness I felt was radiating from me that much.  
"Thank you so much," I replied. It didn't make much sense if you only listened to the conversation, but Adrian knew what I meant, I knew that when another smile lighted up his face. I hadn't thanked him before for everything he'd done, and according to Eddie his actions helped quite a lot. I knew he'd understand, and the bond told me he did. That made me realize that... I hadn't heard from the bond since I felt him hiding behind the luggage. He hadn't been blocking from me. My guess was that my feelings were finally stronger than Adrian's, and I'd been so busy with enjoying everything that was out of my reach before that I cut myself off the bond.  
I let those thoughts go for the afternoon and focused back on the reason we were first here.  
"Jill, I don't know what to do anymore," Lissa sighed. I didn't see the problem, to be honest. "What's the big deal?" I asked. "Okay, I know we missed the flight, but the classes start in a week! We'll just arrange another private jet to go there. Or we'll take a flight to Missoula from Pittsburgh if it's a problem and get some ride to the Academy," I said. Silence. I glanced around the room. Troubled looks around me gave me the feeling I missed the point.  
"Getting you there is the least of our problems right now," Lissa said and gave a dry laugh. "I can't send you to the academy - that's extra protected already - with two guardians! You are my sister, but I can't afford special treatment for anyone as the Queen, especially now that the law has passed! I guess you won't want to leave Eddie behind now?"  
"Of course not!" I exclaimed incredulousy. A knot formed in my stomach, and I felt as though someone was trying to rip it in two. Now that we were together, they were going to tear us apart? I reached for Eddie's hand in panic. His gaze was already fixed on me, but he didn't look much more optimistic than me. The smile I'd been seeing on his face in the past day faded.  
"What then?" Angeline asked. "Are you just leaving me here?"  
I winced. Lost in my perfection, I'd completely forgotten about her. My look must've been talkative enough to Angeline. I felt so guilty and selfish because of it.  
"You can't take both," said Lissa pationatelly. I was pretty sure she didn't expect ruling the Moroi to include so much dealing with a 16-year-old princess's problems.  
"Are you making me choose?" I asked with clear despair in my voice. Yes, she was making me choose. I wanted to take both! But if it could only be one... I tried not to squint at Eddie. And failed. His hold on my hand tightened.  
"Oh, I get it! You're taking him," Angeline hissed. "What exactly does Eddie have that I don't?"  
"Angeline..."  
"What. Does. He. Have. That. I. Don't?" she demanded slowly, incredibly succeeding to add great impatience into the sentence. Her voice was cold, murderous. I really must've pissed her off.  
"Well... A sixpack?" I tried to joke. It was a very inappropriate moment to do that, but I was hinting towards the right reason.  
And for a moment I thought I'd be going on my own. Because Angeline would be in jail for attacking someone and Eddie would be in a wheelchair because of a broken everything. Angeline knocked Eddie off his chair and started to pull his shirt off. Except for the terrified expression on his face he reacted quite calmly. Pure opposite of the rest of the room, which mildly said exploded. My friends were sure Angeline had finally lost it and reacted in different ways. Neil and Dimitri (along with the few decorational guardians in the room who probably expected no work during this sessions) feverishly attempted to stop her in a way that gave the impression she was on a killer rampage. Lissa and Christian panicked like they were next on the list. Inappropriate thoughts were leaking into my head through the bond and I could've sworn I heard Trey say "Not this again!"  
Me, I was one of the few (Sydney was obviously used to the drama, Trey was just sick of everything and Rose and Adrian were having way too much fun) who remained calm. As soon as Angeline was 'removed' from Eddie, I helped him back on his feet.  
"You okay?" I asked. I tried not to laugh, but his face was just as amused as mine.  
"Only my dignity is hurt," he said. "The student became the master."  
"Can I become the student?" I asked, attempting to put an alluring expression on. Eddie threw his head back in exasperation. Or so he thought. I saw his lip corners curling up. "Well, you've waited long enough," he sighed. "Not only for fight practise," I smirked. He smiled and kissed me.  
The same sudden way the chaos began, it vanished too. Everyone settled again and all eyes turned to Angeline with the request to explain her actions.  
"Well, um," she wavered. "I just... Uh... I have a thing for sixpacks." Her voice was small and she probably felt horribly alone under our scrutiny. She probably felt betrayed by me. I tried to smile, but she didn't give me a single look. Trey was kind of holding back after what just happened.  
"Back to the point! Jill, you seem to be so into love. Trey's going to college either way now that he was accepted, do you realize that? You're tearing us even further apart?" Angeline asked. Her voice was as sharp as a knife. She'd do anything to get back to me.  
"You think I'd get a position at the academy as a teacher? Or just a guardian?" Eddie asked no one in particular. He was talking about a job like Dimitri had a year and a half ago. But then we'd see each other even less and our relationship'd be forbidden since I was a student...  
"Wait a second!" I exclaimed. "Why don't we just sign Angeline in as a student? She hasn't graduated high school yet either way, nor passed the guardian exams, or however you call them."  
The idea was so simple it was scary. How come no one had thought of it before?  
"Will she get in a week before the beginning of classes?" asked Trey dubiously. A few of my friends exchanged looks.  
"Reed Lazar got in just in the middle of school year just like that," said Christian.  
"We pull a few strings, and she can become a novice tomorrow," Lissa said with a shrugg.  
"Didn't you say no special treatment?" I asked.  
"We can do that part annonimously," Adrian smirked.  
"So Eddie's her official guardian, and I'm just a novice?" Angeline asked. We all nodded. "I'd take classes either way, right? Okay, cool."  
I thought the meeting was over and was about to get going, but Lissa called us back. "You still don't know when or how you're leaving," she said with a wry smile. "Classes start on Monday, a week from yesterday. I figured you'd leave with one of the royal jets, best on Saturday so that you have a little time to adapt before."  
Eddie and I exchanged glances and both smiled. I quickly squinted at Angeline too. I really didn't want her to feel left out. She gave me a smile too, and it didn't seem like she was still holding a grudge.  
"Sounds okay," I finally told Lissa. She was holding her breath the whole time we made that silent communication and exhaled as I agreed. "Thank God, I didn't have a second option," she said.  
We made our farewells then and all left. I was planing to go somewhere with Eddie, but I stopped him as he held my hand and tried to led me off. He gave me a surprised look and I explained I need to talk to Angeline. I barely caught her since her and Trey were already heading somewhere.  
"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier... Are we cool now?" I asked, catching the hold of her hand. She broke into a full smile.  
"Of course. I'm sorry too, I just got a bit upset... Sorry for attacking your boyfriend," she said. I only laughed. We got into a whole lot of things like this back when we were roommates.  
I said goodbye to Angeline and hurried back towards Eddie. He gave me a wide smile and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.  
"Everything okay?" he asked gently.  
I nodded and kissed his cheek, steeping on my toes. Most Moroi were tall, but dhampir guys didn't stay much behind and Eddie's head was a few inches above mine.  
"Really? The cheek?" he exclaimed with fake exasperation.  
"Are you saying you didn't like it?" I teased, twirling a lock of my hair.  
"I liked it a lot, but not as much as this..." He drew me closer and gave me a full kiss on my lips. I returend the kiss hungrily. I couldn't get enough of him.  
Later we were at my place again, making a party out of cleaning my room. Clothes were still scattered everywhere from the eariler mad search. It was astonishing of many of them I managed to pull out in ten minutes. We tucked most of them back to into bags and suitcases. There was no point in unpacking when I'd be leaving in a few days. The conversation between us was light, when once in between there were a few seconds of silence and Eddie's expression strickened.  
"You know, I'm worried," he said seriously. An ache of fear stung in my chest.  
"About what?" I asked with uneasiness. Eddie, seeing the change in me, held my hand and smiled.  
"About how the hell am I going to organise a perfect first date in the next three days."  
"Oh!" I exclaimed joyfully and pressed myself closer to him. We were squatting on the floor and kind of collapsed on the ground with that action, both of us laughing in the process. "Then I better leave one nice dress outside, eh?"  
"Maybe... Or better, surprise me with it," he smirked. "Not that I'm not loving this. You can come in these clothes if you want."  
I smiled and maybe blushed a little. I knew my favorite T-shirt wouldn't let me down. I also knew he would've loved me in my pyjamas and that he couldn't mind the blush less.  
"So... Where would you like to go?" he asked. He was trying to joke earlier, but the part about him being worried wasn't a lie. His face was tensed with anxiety as he eyed me expectantly.  
"Uh... I don't know." How could I know so quickly? I didn't care either way as long as the date was with him. "Why the hurry anyway?"  
"Well, the most appropriate place in the academy campus is the club room and the most romantic movie they have is Fast and Furious. And I don't think sneaking away to Missoula is a good idea," he said with a wry smile.  
"Yeah, you're probably right," I chuckled.  
"So?" he repeated. "Where to?"  
"I don't know!" I laughed.  
"I just want you to like it!" he cried.  
"I'll like it as long as you're there," I assured him, stroking his cheek gently. It was coarser than it appeared, because the hair on his faice was so light it was almost invisible. "For example, this is just fine."  
He moaned with joy quietly and pulled my head to his jerkily. We began to kiss again, and sitting in the floor as we were, it wasn't long until his body was on top of mine, his hands nailing mine to the ground. I was sure he turned me around with some martial arts thaf guardians do move. Maybe it was the high his presence caused me, but it was more likely that he was careful enough I didn't feel his weight one bit. What I did feel was the kiss growing deeper within seconds. I was eventually the one who tore us apart. His face above mine was red, probably a reflection of mine, and we were both breathing heavily. As much as I enjoyed it, I didn't want things to go any further. I pulled myself slightly back. Eddie took the clue in no time and helped me get up. There wasn't a glimpse of dissappointment in his face. He understood it was just too soon for me.  
"About the date," I breathed, "You're on your own. Surprise me." Those were the same words he told me earlier and he knew it.  
"That's just mean!"  
"And you can't ask Adrian about it."  
"Now I'm really nervous."  
I shrugged and took his hands in mine. "You know I'll love it," I said gently, my voice barely louder than a whisper.  
"But I don't want you to love it because it's something I did, I want you to love it because it's something you love for real!" he exclaimed. The only thought in my mind was: is it possible that a person is perfect?  
"Oh, Eddie," I sighed. "I'll love it because you know me well enough to come up with something I love."  
He didn't bring the topic up again in the next few days. We spent them together without exception. Unlike the whole summer before, the weather sucked. Eddie and I ignored it. Actually, it was almost better than it would be in the warm, because we had an excuse to cuddle and Eddie let me borrow his jacket. It was a bit big on me, but it was also warm and smelled like heaven. Another awesome part was that we went to the pool in the building where Ambrose worked. I loved seeing Eddie in his swimsuit and it was fantastic to be in the water. Whenever it wasn't raining, I actually managed to convince him into fight practise. We often ended up kissing on the groud, but we still got further than back when he wouldn't even consider it.  
Friday afternoon, after I prepared the last details for the department (for real this time), I thought of calling Aimee to the academy to explain why I was coming late. We were in nonstop contact now and she knew every detail of my relationship with Eddie. Except since I actually got to spend some time with him, which left me with less time for everything else.  
"Oh, my God, so you guys are finally together!?" Aimee squealed.  
"I know, right!" I didn't have an opportunity to let out all my excitement until now.  
"He's coming with you, right?"  
"Yup, all of us on Saturday."  
Aimee let out a happy sigh. "I can't wait to see you. We're gonna have so much fun..." she told me. I smiled.  
"Hey, did you happen to meet a guy named Reed Lazar?" I asked, changing the subject suddenly. I wondered what happened to him. "We were supposed to fly together, but then Eddie came and... You know." I'd already explained the events earlier in the conversation.  
"You two are so adorable..." Aimee gushed. "Anyway," her voice got a more serious note, "Yes, I met this Reed guy. We happened to start talking about you and I told him you were coming later." She paused for a second and then added: "He's really cute, you know!"  
"Yes, I know, I-"  
A knock on the door cut me off.  
"I'll be right back, someone's at the door," I told Aimee and put the phone on the couch where I'd been sitting, screen up. Another impatient nod sounded. I opened up and met Lissa's eyes watching me, identical to mine..  
"I'm so sorry about this," she said with no regret at all, "But there's going to be one last event tonight. You have to be ready at seven. Someone's picking you up." I was about to protest, but Lissa didn't let me. "Also," she continued, her eyes shining, "I know from reliable sources that Eddie's going to be there, so make sure to look nice." A comment about how he really doesn't care about my looks, just so that I could argue, was at the top of my tongue, but Lissa hushed me again. "That didn't come from him, that came from me. I mean, you always look gorgeous for these things, but... You know." She blushed under my scrutiny.  
"Kiss-up," I scoffed.  
"Okay, this went into a strange direction. And don't overdo it, put on something that's cute and comfortable." I rolled my eyes. "Just... Be ready at seven," she said, patted my shoulder and left without saying another word. That was some of the strangest behaviour I'd ever seen in my sister.  
I returned to the couch and picked my phone up.  
"Did you hear that?" I asked Aimee. I knew she hadn't hung up yet, even if the conversation took a bit longer than expected.  
"Yup," she confirmed. "Every word. It was Lissa, right? Your, er, sister?" The word got stuck in her throat, because she was used to me being an only child. Also, Vasilisa would've been the right name, but who could blame my best friend when I'd always reffered to her as Lissa.  
"Yeah, it was her," I said thoughtfully. "What do you think that was about?"  
"Dunno." Silence hung in the air for a second, then Aimee took a sharp breath that meant she had a realization.  
"What? What is it?" I demanded excitedly.  
"Uh... Nothing! Probably just a royal dinner. Like Lissa said-"  
"Aimee!"  
"-What's that? I'm coming!" she said swiftly and hung up.  
I sighed and looked for a dress to wear. Of course I had to search through the suitcases again, wondering if the packing - and unpacking ten minutes later - would ever end.  
I didn't remember neither buying nor wearing the dress I went with. It was nice; a dress with a tight top that looked like it had several cutouts on the spot that covered my collarbone, but if you looked closely, you could see it had multiple straps, placed so they left rectangulad and triangle bare spatches on my skin, while the skirt was loose, reaching a few inches above my knee. The basic fabric was covered with another transparent layer, giving the dress a lighter, summery effect. The most important fact: it fit me perfectly. It was almost in the same shade of green as my eyes, except that it was a tiny bit more on the blue side. It still matched and looked gorgeous.  
It wouldn't be right to let my hair ruin the picture, so I tied it into an acceptable ponytail with a few painstakingly picked locks falling on my forehead. I don't know why, but I wanted to look my best. I even considered applying a little make-up... But I didn't do it. I usually had proffesional make-up artists for that. This dinner was apparently more casual, which I should've realized when Lissa told me to stay comfortable.  
And so, I sat on the couch, waiting in my beautiful dress, looking just as pretty and cute and nice as Lissa ordered me to be. "The last time I'm faking the perfect princess," I told myself.  
Someone knocked on the door. I checked the clock. 7 pm. That someone was exactly on time. I exhaled and got up to open the door.  
Someone was Eddie.  
"Oh, so you're the one picking me up!" I exclaimed.  
"Of course," he said, smiling. "And I was right. You do get more beautiful every day." His voice had that dreamy note he always spoke with when complimenting me. I felt a blush color my cheeks. I had absolutely no shame with him, but he still did that to me.  
"You already saw me for lunch," I chuckled.  
"Then I guess I meant by minute, because you look-"  
I cut him off by wrapping my arms around him and pressing a kiss on his lips. I couldn't hold on longer.  
"Let's go," he said after we separated. He took me in front of the building. I let him the lead because he cleary knew where we were going and I didn't have a clue. As we stepped outside, I took a breath of the fresh air. It was early morning for humans and the sun was on the verge of rising, illuminating the horizon in red and orange colors. After a few rainy days, the sky promised a little bit of sunshine.  
Distracted with the surroundings, I didn't notice Eddie led me to a brand new Honda (I didn't know which one since I never had a clue about cars) until we were right there. I was taken aback to have a ride for an event I normally walked to. Especially since I knew Eddie didn't have a car. I smiled as he opened the door to the passenger seat to me. Everything he did made me smile.  
"Where did you get the car?" I asked once he hit the gass.  
"Borrowed it." His eyes were on the road, but I heard a smile in his voice.  
"Why?"  
I was surprised to realize he drove a bit out of the center of the Court. Not far, but definetly no place a royal would've hosted a dinner.  
"We're not really going to a royal event, are we?" I smirked. Eddie only laughed in response. "Are you kidnapping me?"  
"Just for tonight."  
I stared at the road blankly while trying to figure out what was going on.  
"This is our first date," I realized.  
"Yup." Somehow I knew by the tone of Eddie's voice that he's no less excited than me.  
"Oh, my God, why didn't you tell me?" I squealed. I felt a wave of shock in my stomach, the kind that came with excitement that I could hardly control.  
"Well, you told me to surprise you," he replied, clearly amused with my reaction. "I had no help and... Well, you'll see."  
Now I knew why no one told me what was going on. Eveyone but me knew. Even Aimee figured it out since I mentioned the first date conversation to her.  
"But you told Lissa to..."  
"I only asked Lissa and Rose for their opinion, but Liss insisted on telling you something's coming up. I told her to make up an excuse," he explained.  
"Oh... Okay." I was still a bit dumbfounded by the whole surprise thing, but I also couldn't wait. And it strenghtened me in my belief that I couldn't get a better guy than Eddie.  
"So, where are we going?" I asked.  
"Not far," he said with a shrug. "Actually, we're here." He pulled the car into a macadam exit that only went on for twenty feet or so and parked on the grass. Bushes and trees were the end of the road, so that I couldn't see what was on the other side. "Come on," Eddie said once we left the car, took my hand in his and pushed some of the bushes out of my way so that I could get through. He gestured me to do so, and as I stepped through, I found myself at the bank of my beloved river.  
But that wasn't all.  
The bank had a ten feet wide sandy lane that looked just like the a beach. On it, there was a short table with two chairs around it and candles everywhere I looked. In the light of the rising sun, it looked beautiful and so romantic I couldn't help but gasp.  
"Whoa..." I breathed.  
"You like it?" Eddie asked. I tore my look from the patch of heaven in front of me and looked at him. He was certain I'd it - how could I not - but anxiety was crossing his features. He wanted to impress me so much it made my heart ache a little bit. Little did he know I was swept off my feet the moment we met.  
"I love it," I said and wrapped him into a hug. His lips found mine and united in a kiss. My heart was racing and the only thought on my mind was that I love him so much it could kill me.  
"I should've brought the food earlier," he murmured, his lips still almost pressed to mine. We must've looked like one of those cliche couples on beach photos that looked like just shadows pressed to each other in the setting sun.  
"Where is it?" I asked, a bit dizzy from his body next to mine.  
"In the car. Wait here."  
He slowly took a step back and dissappeared in the bushes. I sat into one of the chairs. Five minutes or so later he appeared again, carrying a huge picnic basket.  
"How much food have we got?" I laughed.  
He considered the basked again and replied: "For a week or two. Maybe I went a bit too far."  
"Or maybe you're actually kidnapping me for longer than tonight. I certinatelly wouldn't mind," I said alluringly.  
"How am I supposed to resist that?" he chuckled.  
"You don't."  
The next moment we were kissing again. It probably took a few minutes for him to break the kiss.  
"If we go on like this the food's gonna last for more than two weeks," he remarked. "Not that I mind." He opened the basket and began to take fold out. As I assumed, it appeared to be bottomless.  
"When did you get all of this? We spent ninety percet of the last week together!" I exclaimed.  
"It was a bit hard to organise," he admitted. "But worth it."  
Somehow, we managed to eat all the food. I couldn't think of a single thing he didn't bring; there were all kinds of sandwiches, fruit and vegetables, desserts and a lot more. I don't know how, but after we finished, I flund myself asking: "Do we have ice cream?"  
"Of course," he said with a wink that made me sink into the chair because it was so adorable. "I left it in the car in a cooler. I'll go get it."  
He even got several flavours. He thought through every single detail.  
"You're amazing," I whispered.  
"The ice cream made you say that?" he teased.  
"Don't underestimate ice cream," I replied.  
We also finished the ice cream and stayed on the beach for a while, talking and kissing on the sand. I never thought we'd be doing that after the vacation disaster between us. I thought that was a chance wasted. I was glad it wasn't.  
The sun had eventually risen and we didn't need the candles anymore. Eddie, worried about the heat's effect on me, set up a sunshade, even when I told him there's no need. "The memory from Amberwood PE's still too fresh," he said.  
Somewhere around 3 am we head back to the Court. We probably should've done that before since we had a flight tomorrow, but we needed one last escape. Eddie walked me to the room and then insisted to leave right away so that I could get some sleep.  
"Thank you for tonight," I said. "I know how much you tried for it and it was amazing."  
"Well, it was our date and I enjoyed it just as much," he replied cheerfully.  
"I love you."  
"Love you too."  
With a smile on his face, he turned around and left. I closed the door, feeling a smile cross my face. I squealed with excitement and spunn around the room. I'd never been so happy in my life, I couldn't believe it was possible. What he did to me, the way he made me feel, he made me lose control, but I didn't even care because it was so great.  
The alarm clock woke me up at 7 am. I groaned and turned it off, wondering why I'd set it up so early when the flight was in the afternoon.  
The day passed faster than I assumed it would. We met for lunch this time as well to make our farewell, but it didn't seem as painful and emotional for the second time. Maybe because we'd already said everything we could. Or maybe because I'd gained a much more positive perspective of life in the past two days.  
Adrian took us to the airport one more time, this time along with Sydney. It turned out she hadn't come the first time only because she was bringing Eddie over.  
But as I hugged them for the last time, I once again felt my chest getting tighter. I managed to hold tears back this time, but I was very close to crying.  
"Fifteen minutes, let's go," Trey said.  
But when I reached the top of the stairs that led to the private jet, the reality suddenly stroke me. I tightened my grip on Eddie's arm and slowed down my pace. He noticed my hesitation and gave me a gentle look.  
"You ready?" he asked. I nodded and tried to smile. It came out as a sigh.  
"Can we go say goodbye again?"  
"Hey," Eddie said, cupping my face in his hands. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna be with you the whole time."  
"I know." My voice was shaking. I sighed again. "Why am I suddenly so nervous?"  
"Because things are about to change," he said softly. "But you've been through this once before. You can do it."  
"Thanks," I whispered and kissed him. Suddenly everything felt a little better. For a second I thought I saw fireworks and lightining bolts...  
...But when I opened my eyes, I realized it had been camera flash.

**Camera flash? Does anyone know what that means?**

**I was really insecure about putting this chapter up, because I was afraid it's too fluffy aand cheesy, there isn't as much story and I although I enjoyed writing a horrible lot, I kind of feel like the quality is crap. According to how long we've been waiting fo them to finally get together, it deserves better. It's not my best work when this chapter of all of them should be. I don't know, maybe i'm just overreacting. Please tell me if there's anything you didn't like and I'll try to work on it until the next time. Which is probably going to be a bit longer than usually, because I'm going on vacation tomorrow and I won't have as much time to write next week. Also, I had everything painstakingly planned up tp this, and ahead everything's more foggy. Anyhow, please review!**


	18. Rumor Has It

**Here is a new chapter! It took a while because I couldn't write every day, but it's the first chapter I've been writing on a plane, in a hotel and on a beach. Also, since I'm updating today, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Liv (AKA Satan), one of the biggest Jeddie fans and constant readers of my story because it's her birthday today :D I wish her all the best and to enjoy this chapter.**

**As I always say, I own nothing, Richelle Mead does, and I'm sorry for mistakes and misspelling, and... Well, I've distanced from the original story line so much that I don't think there even still are spoilers. Review if you have the time!**

"...Shameful..."

"...A royal disgrace..."

"...Bad influence..."

"...Unworthy..."

"...An embarrassing relationship..."

"...Scandalous..."

"...Waist of potential..."

"...A princess and a guardian..."

"...Impulsive and irresponsible..."

It's hard to eat your breakfast with a feeling that everyone's staring at you. I learned that the first morning back at St. Vladimir's Academy. It was a Sunday, a day before the beginning of classes and a day before becoming a junior. For now I was just the center of attention. I wasn't the only one.

Eddie's arm was wrapped around my shoulders. I may had asked if we should be hiding, but whether we wanted it or not, it had no use now. Everyone knew.

The camera flash we'd seen the evening before? There were at least a dosen of them. Moroi basically have their own network. That includes an online browser, sections of social networks that are hidden to humans, and plenty of magazines and newspapers. A few of those are for serious news like new laws and council meetings, but cruical events in that area are so rare and the curiousity of Moroi is so great that most newspapers and magazines focus on gossip. Royals are the main target. Everyone wants to know what the Creme de la Creme is doing. Sometimes I had a feeling that's the main purpuse of royalty. Some of them don't mind. I don't like it all that much.

I'd been all over those magazines once the word had come out that I'm a Dragomir. I'd gone from happily invisible to one of the most famous Moroi. Everyone'd wanted to know what I'm wearing, where I'm at, what I'm doing, whom I spend time with, what I talk about, and of course, most importantly, whom I'm dating. That had been no one back there (there had actually been a few Adrian related runors, but they'd silented down when we laughed them off). After the assassination, it had been worse than ever. Eventually the pressure had been off of me as I'd 'dissappeared' to Palm Springs. When I'd returned, there had been a few articles about me, but most attention had been on Sydney and Adrian's infamous wedding.

When I'd seen the news reporters at the airport the day before, I'd thought there might be an article or two the next day. People would find out, but so what. We'd been hiding our emotions for long enough. I certinately hadn't expected this.

After landing at an airport in Missoula (they refused the get the academy's private airport ready just for us) with a few hours of delay because of the weather and a ride to St. Vladimir's with not very comfortable cabs, we'd gone to our rooms and straight to bed. Trey had taken a bus to his campus back in Missoula, Eddie had gotten a room in the guardians' building, Angeline in the dhampir dorm and I had been back with Aimee. I'd barely had enough strenght to text everyone at Court that we'd arrived safely, Eddie'd called me up to make sure nothing'd happened to me (even though he'd walked me to the room), then I'd literally fallen asleep with my clothes still on. I hadn't had a single worry in my head.

The next morning Adrian'd called me up, telling me Eddie and I are all over everything. Since you could get Moroi magazines in all Moroi places, we'd bought today's issue on our way to the cafeteria. We were on all the covers, a high quality photo of us kissing on a plane entrance. I guess they'd been trying to mark another 'dissapperance' of mine - the princess's department - and hit the 'jackpot'.

And those weren't positive articles about me finding true love amongst all of our differences, the fluffy and romantic story about how we're all the same inside and that it was a great step towards equality. No, no. They all wrote how I shouldn't be dating someone so out of my league, that I'm disrespecting myself and shaming my family with it, that I should find 'someone my kind'.

I was really upset about it, and I'd thought it'd hurt Eddie. I knew that had been one of the main reasons he had against our relationship. Our young and fresh relationship, that was now so fragile and exposed. The relationship everyone was suddenly tearing apart. I'd thought I'd lose him. Even Adrian'd warned me about it when he called. And Eddie had been browsing through all of those magazines the whole time we'd been here.

But he seemed more amused than upset.

"Look," he laughed. "This one says Adrian has a bad influence on you and that after he married a human, you felt the need to do something similarly scandalous."

I shook my head in a mix of amusement and exasperation. "That's a good one," I remarked. "I knew exposing the bond was a bad idea."

"I've never seen my name written so many times," Eddie said thoughtfully. "I've always been invisible."

"This is how I felt last year," I replied. "Except that things stood a bit more positivly back then. With an exception of a few people saying I'm faking it."

It appeared a forbidden relationship was even harder to believe than a secret member of a dying family. Dozens of people'd come asking if it was true only this morning. They of course reacted differently due to their social status. "So you two are like actually... Together?" was the most common reaction we got from royals that so clearly despized us it was a wonder we were worth speaking to. It didn't help that Aimee and Angeline were behind our table. Some royals that weren't so shallow and self-conceited seemed surprised, but not disgusted. And normal Moroi - the kind I used to be, especially my friends - more or less gushed about how adorable and romantic the whole thing is. There were also a few haughtly dhampir guys who came to our table and asked questions like "Do I stand a shot?"

"Okay, this one says it's disgusting," Eddie said, pointing at a magazine page. "Isn't that a bit exaggerated?"

"All of it's exaggerated, if you ask me," I sighed.

"And this says I should do my job instead of being lovestruck. And this one says I should've waited at least until you turn twelve!"

I rolled my eyes and dug my face into his chest. "How stupid is this?"

"Very," he replied distantly. I didn't see much else than his shirt, but I knew he was still reading.

"Look at this," he said in disbelief after a few seconds. I lifted my gaze with mild interest. "It says," Eddie continued, "'This shameful relationship could might as well be the final strike to the almost extinct Dragomir line, because dhampir children can in no way be considered as royals, no matter their mother's bloodline.'"

"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed and laughed histerically. "We've literally been together for a week! It's not like we..."

Our looks met and I saw thoughts that were reflecting mine in Eddie's eyes. I could easily imagine spending the rest of my life with him. That would've eventually led to settling down, and... Was I being selfish to my family? Should I really marry some Moroi prince in order to have decent royal children? When I loved Eddie?

"We can deal with that later," he said with uneassiness in his voice. Like he was reading my mind.

"I'll bet Adrian would gladly help you with that if your kids' bloodline's a problem," Angeline remarked. The uncomfortable silence that had fallen on our table vanished with laughter. It was the first time any of our friends by the table spoke (Aimee and Reed besides Angeline) in a while. I supposed they were hesitant about starting an awkward subject, when everyone that came by only pointed their fingers at me and Eddie. I didn't want to be the center of attention and leave them out of the conversation... But it's not like I chose to have all eyes on me.

"This is exactly what you were afraid of. Isn't it?" I asked Eddie. "The attention and the judging."

He eyed me blankly for a second after the sudden change of subject. "Yes, that's it. And it sucks." My heart stopped. "But," he continued, "Now that I'm with you, I can't stop anymore. I love you. And it's worth it. This'll pass."

"I love you too," I said quietly. My voice was shaking with emotion. His words made me so happy. He just told me himself that I can't lose him anymore, not to guardians, no to royals, not to other girls he'd been pushing away. Not even to Strigoi. He was too good at fighting to ever die in a battle.

We'd tried to hold back a little here in school, especially with all those eyes and our friends there, but I was going to forget about all of that to kiss him. His lips were the only thing I saw.

"Wow, there's an entire article about you. 'Who is Eddie Castile?' And an entire resime," Angeline said, reaching towards one of the magazines. And breaking the moment.

"And a shirtless picture," Aimee added. Both of the girls leaned in and watched the page closly for what I thought was too long.

"Okay, girls, I'm gonna have to ask you to back off sooner or later," I said tensly. Then Eddie kissed me out of nowhere and I forgot everything.

That Sunday was a day when I tried my best to block out the world around me. I'd never recieved that much attention in my life - especially negative attention. I felt like a caged animal. But, as Eddie pointed out correctly, as long as we had each other, all was worth it.

All of the worries about my personal life and public image were forgotten the next day at the ring of my alarm clock. The shortest horror story ever written: school.

"Unless you got better waking-up habits in the last year, I have to throw you out of bed now," I heard Aimee's voice in the distance.

"Ugh," I responded. I was so sleepy wasn't really aware of what's happening yet, but before I could get to myself, Aimee was next to my bed, pulling me out of my safe shelter.

I'd had trouble waking up my whole life, and since I was rooming with my best friend, the early bird, she put up with it and helped me out. Right now I wanted to turn her off and pull the covers over my head, but I knew I'd thank her later. As always.

"How are you up already?" I muttered as I finally managed to open my eyes and notice she was fully dressed.

"Been up for hours," she replied cheerfully. "I tried to wake you up a while ago, but you wouldn't wake up, so I got some breakfast. You missed it. I brought you a bagel." I couldn't muster a reply. Her energy was way too high for both first day of school and that early in a day. She made sure I'm awake one more time and hurried over to the full-sized mirror on the closet wing of our room, brushing her blond hair to perfection. I yawned and streched my arms. The cold air sent chills over my body as my legs dangled from the edge of the bed.

Aimee was still busy in front of the mirror. She was applying mascara, which I don't think I'd ever seen her do before. It wasn't until now that I actually noticed how nice she looked. I mean, she was naturally pretty, but she put a lot of work into her appearance today. She was wearing what I recognised as her best jeans and a tank top she must've been freezing in. The weather in Montana wasn't very kind in September.

"You look great," I said and smiled to her. She turned around, her cheeks colored with a faint pink shade. I got up, dug into my closet and brought up a thin beige jacket, handing it over to her. "But don't catch a cold."

"Thanks," she said shyly. Like she was reading my mind, she continued: "I don't normally wear make-up to school, but he doesn't know..." Realizing she's spilled me some information, she covered her mouth with her hand. Her blush became even brighter.

"_He_?" I exclaimed. "Who is _he_?" I attempted to sound insulted that I don't know yet, but the smile drawing on my face gave me up. I could hardly contain my excitement. Aimee deserved all the best - especially finally forgetting Brett.

"He is... Uh..." Aimee's face was a few shades brighter than usually and she just didn't want to say it. To her obvious relief, she was saved by a knock on the door.

"Open," I said quietly and pulled the cover over my head. I was aware of how great my hair and face must look after a full night's sleep.

The squeaky sound of the door opening accompanied Aimee's surprised - and a bit amused - gasp.

"Hi, is Jill here?" Eddie asked. I kicked the cover off and met his eyes. He was already looking towards my bed because he knew where I'd been hiding instantly. I ran into his arms, not caring that I'm still in my baggy flannel pyjamas and that my hair's a mess.

"Am I too early?" he asked.

"No," I murmured into his chest. "You can't be too early. I always want to see you."

"I wanted to wish you good luck today," he said, pressing a kiss on the top of my head. "Since I can't be there."

Both of us kind of hoped that as my guardian, he would be with me in class, following my every step like guardians in real life. But the head of the school informed us that classrooms are perfectly safe and that Eddie would only me a distraction for me. Headmistress Kirova not-so-subtly let us know that she's aware of our relationship and that she doesn't aprove it.

I snuck out of his arms and into the bathroom to get dressed, then Eddie walked me and Aimee to our first class. We ignored the stares and I had a feeling they'd decreased since yesterday.

Our first class of the day was World History. We'd gotten our schedules the day before. Aimee sat next to me in one of the last rows.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said. "Ever since you left, I feel like Ms. Malloy hates me." Ms. Malloy was our history teacher. "She has different criteria for me, she keeps 'accidentaly' skipping points on my exams and calling me out."

"Weird," I remarked. Ms. Malloy had been completely nice the last time I'd seen her.

"You know what really fascinates me?" Aimee asked. I thought she was still taking about our teacher, but a second later I learned that she'd changed the subject. "How you could just walk to Eddie a few moments after you woke up. I mean, you looked perfectly fine, but... You know. You don't let just anyone see your pyjamas. I love how close you guys are."

"Well," I smirked. Her admiration made me feel good. "Maybe you and the misterious _he _will be that close as well."

She blushed, still refusing to tell me who is it. I would've questioned her further in my curiousity, but in that moment Ms. Malloy walked in.

"Hello, freshly juniors," she said. "New school year, new beginnings," her eyes narrowed as we made eyecontact, "And new students, I see. Better said new old students. Miss Mastrano has had quite a few adventures in the year she's been gone, am I correct?" Maybe it was just the impression I got, but I had a really strong feeling that her voice became colder as she began to speak about me.

"I believe you should be reffering to her as Miss Dragomir, Ms. M," a guy named Caleb said.

"Mastrano is just fine," I assured. I had to put some effort into making my voice sound relaxed, because the whole thing was making me uncomfortable. To be precise, my official title was the Dragomir princess, but I prefered Mastrano because it made me feel more floored.

"Well, let's not argue about students' names," Ms. Malloy said. "Let's rather dedicate to history."

She began to elaborate on the Russian revolution, but as much as I tried, I couldn't pay attention to it. Something was constantly buzzing in the back of my mind. It was the bond. Nothing bad was happening, but Adrian was excited about something. After fifteen minutes that felt like forever I let feelings stronger than mine defeat me. It was too exhausting. The next moment I was looking through Adrian's eyes.

He was running through the luxurious halls of the main palace towards Lissa's private rooms. A few members of the staff were flashing him surprised looks, but he ignored them. A minute later he stormed into Lissa's living room. She was sitting on the couch, her hands resting in her lap, apparently waiting for him. A quick search of Adrian's memories confirmed they'd agreed to meet.

"I've got it!" he exclaimed. "I've got the Tarus ring!"

"Yay!" Lissa squealed and jumped on her feet to hug him. "Let me see it!"

Adrian pulled a small shiny object out of his pocket - a golden ring, shaped exactly as the Ivashkov one we'd seen on that photo, except that it had an oval indigo-colored, blue-violet tanzanite in the middle instead of a ruby. Obviously, since the Tarus family color was violet.

"Finally, we have one of the rings," Lissa said, admiring the ring in her palm. "Now we can begin to study them. You think you could get the Ivashkov one?"

Adrian scowled. "I doubt it. No one in my family is a big fan of me right now, except for my mom, which is the reason we got this one. Although she had trouble getting it, since she's not at her best as well." His mom had been born a Tarus. "But I assure you, I could easily get an Ivashkov ring if my aunt was still the Queen."

"You do have a way with queens, don't you?" Lissa smirked. Her face turned serious again in a second. "Wait, maybe I could get the Szelsky ring from Ariana. And the Conta ring from Marie!"

Ariana Szelsky and Marie Conta were two of her closest advisors in politic matters. They were both the princesses of their families and had been in the field for very long. Next to them, I felt like I'm just faking a princess. They were both in the council and candidated on the last election. Also, they were both probably the keepers of their family's ring.

"I don't doubt you could get them, but do we really need so many? I mean, don't you think they're all the same?" Adrian asked. Both him and Lissa sat back on the couch.

"That's exactly what I want to find out!" she exclaimed eagerly. "I mean, it's charmed gold we're talking about here!"

"You think there's a difference between casters?"

"Maybe. Maybe there are several ways to do it. I don't know."

"Well, as long as we're here, we should focus on the ring we've already got."

Lissa put the ring on the coffee table in front of the couch. They both watched it for a minute like it's on an exhibit. Then Adrian picked it up and opened himself to magic. I felt shimmers in my - his hand. There was definetly spirit in that ring. Very powerful compultion, it seemed.

"Whoa," Adrian breathed. "I couldn't have done that on silver!"

He handed the ring to Lissa. Her face reflected almost awe as she touched it.

"That must've been a powerful spirit user," she said quietly. "Do you think it was the only one who managed to charm gold? Do you think there are any records?"

"Wouldn't know," Adrian shrugged. "But it's worth a research." He paused, unsure what to say. "Although, how hard can it be? They generally use silver because it's easier to charm, the magic fades after a while. Gold is more durable, I think. That must be why the magic's still in there after all those centuries, just as powerful as it was. And we have to restore wards every few weeks because silver's more susceptible."

Lissa looked at Adrian in disbelief, perplexed over both his words and the number of facts he'd just recited. "So, what, you say we should just try harder and boom, we'll charm gold?" she asked dubiusly.

Adrian laughed wryly. "No, I seriously doubt that."

After a few minutes of silence as they both stared into the ring like some kind of a deity Lissa stirred in excitement. "You should ask Sydney! Alchemists use charmed golden tattoos, right? I know she's not one of them officially anymore, but I bet she knows all about it!"

Adrian shifted uncomfortably. "I have asked her, actually." I dug from his memory that it was a tourture for both of them. Alchemists were an unwelcome subject. "The thing is, the compultion in their tattoos comes from Earth magic. While I'm sure you felt the spirit in the ring. Alchemists don't even use it."

"Oh." Lissa's face fell. "But aren't there dosens of spirit charmed objects of all kinds? Not only silver, not only gold, I think I've seen wooden things and stuff."

"Yeah," Adrian scowled. "I'm afraid there's a difference between charming and soaking, or how should I put it. You can shower any object with magic, but it won't catch on. We only know how to charm silver in the way that controls people's will or heals them. I think. You know-"

"Miss Mastrano!"

Like a cold shower, Ms. Malloy's words pulled me away from the Court.

"The holidays are over, and if you think this is sleeping class, you are wrong!"

"I wasn't-"

"And you are even more wrong if you think I'll have any special treatment for you because of your so-called royal title!"

"I never wanted that!" I exclaimed. "I know I'm just a student like everyone else and that's what I want to be!"

It was true. Attracting attention was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to be normal, not some spoiled brat that gets everything brought to her butt.

"I should've sent you to the headmistress for this!" Ms. Malloy yelled. She looked really pissed - but I was too. "You can thank me I won't do that because it's the first day of school. Next time get some sleep and don't spend your night doing God knows what."

She seemed to have calmed down a little. The class laughed quietly at her last words. I knew very well what she was hinting at, and so did everyone else. They might had been staring, but no one had been that obvious. I may had spent most of the night texting Eddie, but that was no reason to call me out in front of the entire class! Especially for a teacher! I was about to raise my voice, but Aimee kicked me under the table. I took a deep breath and managed to keep calm until the end of the period. Luckily, there were only minutes left.

We rushed outside the moment the bell rung. After that torture of a period, the rest of the day went by smoothly. Aimee had a sacred rule of listening in class, so I didn't get the chance to talk to her until lunch.

"Are you sure you're the one Ms. Malloy hates?" I asked her, piling half-cooked mashed potato on my plate. She only scowled in response. "And I wasn't even asleep!"

"Really?" Aimee bit her lip with a puzzled expression. "I elbowed you at least five times and you wouldn't wake up! What was that?"

"That," I said, "Is called my bond with Adrian."

"Wait, what? That thing can just make you fall asleep like that?"

"I wasn't asleep, I was in his head. Seeing the world through his eyes."

By that time we were already at our table.

"Quite an experience, isn't it?" Reed asked. I kept forgetting he was once shadow kissed too. We explained how the whole thing works for Aimee together. I had a feeling she wasn't really listening. It was for certain Angeline wasn't, because she spent the whole time stirring her lunch, sighing about how she's heard it all before. I'd told her when we became roomates.

But I was glad Reed was normally talking to me again. The day before things were a bit awkward. Well, everything was a bit new and fresh, and no one knew how to treat me and Eddie.

Speaking of which, my boyfriend was coming our way, carrying a tray I thought would break with the weight of everything on it.

"Can you guys imagine how greatly they feed the staff?" he asked cheerfuly. "Two years ago I was here, treated like dirt, and now I'm gonna eat like a king."

"Wow, you're actually an employee here. I can't believe it," I said. He chuckled and sat down next to me, pecking my cheek.

Then Angeline explained all of us how her first day in the new school was. I'd tried to be there for her as much as possible, but we didn't have all classes together. I'd probably be no help with the training ones anyway.

"However," Angeline finished, "They said that I have lots of potential but I'll have to try really hard to graduate next year."

I elbowed Eddie. "You'll help her, right?" I kind of wished him and Angeline would be my guardians someday. That couldn't happen if Angeline didn't graduate.

"Sure," said Eddie.

"They said it's mostly my attitude," Angeline remarked. We all scowled.

Lunch passed with similar conversations and Eddie insisting on sharing his 'kinglike' food with us. Unfortunately, lunch break only marked the school day was half way through. The whole thing was quite exhausting. For no real reason I'd overwhelmed myself with the comeback to school. It calmed me down to see Eddie in-between. As we kissed for goodbye, Reed touched my shoulder. I turned around and flashed him a smile.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked. His look and voice were tensed. I'd thought the awkwardness was gone, but apparently I was wrong.

"Sure," I replied. We moved a bit away from the rest of our friends, to the crowdy hall full of Moroi and dhampirs on their way to their next period. The rush was even bigger on the first day of school and I saw plenty of students checking their schedules to make sure they'd get to the right classrooms. The air smelled with a mix of their sweat and the dusty scent of stony walls.

"Um..."

Reed's voice caught my attention back.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I, uh..."

I sighed. "Reed, the next period starts in five minutes."

"Does Aimee have a boyfriend?"

I felt my lips crack into a smile as a wave of excitement hit me. That would be perfect! Then I remembered I'd tried to set Aimee up with someone a bit after the Brett disaster and that she barely spoke to me for a week. And the misterious _he _was also there.

Was Reed _he_?

"No, she doesn't have a boyfriend," I finally said. Reed's face glowed and I hoped things would work out as greatly as it looked. "You should ask her out," I added.

Reed turned serious again and ran a hand through his hair. "You think she'll say yes?" he asked hopefully. I'd never seen him that insecure before.

"I don't know."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Then you'll know you tried."

I gave him an encouraging smile and hurried to my next class. The day dragged on like forever. I wanted to ask Aimee if she was interested, but I also wanted enough time to talk it through properly. I finally got to it later that day, when we were sitting in our room.

"Is Reed _he_?" I asked. Aimee gave me a surprised look. The question came out of nowhere, I knew.

"Well... Yes. How did you know?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to give Reed up, I didn't want to get in-between. But I could hardly hold my excitement back. "I'm just glad you're over that jerk," I said honestly.

The next day Aimee returned to our room late, excited to tell me Reed did ask her out. We both squealed with happiness and hugged.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" she chastised me. It was more of a joke than a real accusation. I gave her a recap of yesterday's events. Then she gushed about how great Reed is and I listened to her with a smirk on my face. I could most definetly relate to her - not with Reed, of course - and I was thrilled to see her so happy.

Two days of intensifying homework and my friends' lovestruck looks the famous date happened. Aimee spent two hours getting ready and had me walk her right to the place, saying she feels better with me there. She said she'd never felt so nervous before. She really liked Reed.

The date took place in one of the school club rooms, which meant I had our room to myself for an afternoon. Not that I was going to be by myself. Eddie and I hadn't spent more than an hour togeter since the Sunday we'd arrived and I'd spent the week feeling horribly empty inside. I didn't even realize that until I saw him. We met right in front of the door, as I was returning from walking Aimee. I threw myself into his arms, suddenly so happy and weirdly relieved.

"Hey, why don't we go outside for a little?" he asked.

I nodded, feeling dizzy with his nearness. "Just don't let me go."

He chuckled and tightened his grip on me. There was something about his hands around mine that let me know he missed me too.

We went for a walk around the strange-shaped pond close to the boarder of the school grounds. Woods surrounded every visible corner of the property, but the clearing around the water was just big enough for a small path. I could barely see the shining stars in the sky over the treetops. In the night, the combination gave a misterious feeling. It would've been scary if I were alone, but with Eddie it felt intimate and comfortable. It was the first time in a while we were truly alone. The moonlight gave a silvery-white shine to his hair, making him look even more angelic than usually. His kisses also felt heavenly.

"We should've done this more often, you know?" Eddie asked, pulling me closer. "I barely get to see you these days."

"I know," I said thoughtfully. "But this is just the first week. We'll figure things out eventually."

"I guess."

"And what exactly do you think we should do more often?" I teased.

"Something like this..." he said, swung me back and leaned in for a kiss.

I knew we could've stayed like that forever, but that wasn't how long we had. As the horizor begin to color in purple shades, we returned to my and Aimee's room. Since my best friend was still gone, it could be supposed as just my room at the time.

Eddie sat next to me on my bed. We talked for a while about everything that's happened in the past few days. I told him about the history incident.

"Well, Ms. Malloy is quite a change after Ms. Terwilliger," he stated. "I was assigned to Lissa during my field experience, so I was with her in World History, and let me tell you, the teacher was a bitch to her. To no one else. At least in the last semester. So if she gets on your back, let me know, I'll do something about it."

"Thanks," I said. I couldn't figure out why would she be like that. "Maybe she has a dislike for Dragomirs. She was perfectly nice before."

We changed the subject and he told me a bit more about his work on campus. He described he was mostly on fence duty, and also expected to make sure the boarders respect the rules. I was relieved to hear he even with all of that wasn't considered a teacher. That would've made our relationship even more infamous and truly forbidden. And I knew all about forbidden relationships and how unpleasant they are from my friends.

Things like that were soon off my mind, because before I knew it, we were kissing again. The situation was much like the one in my room back at Court, when he'd been laying over me, except that this felt even better because we were on my bed. It was as though are bodies are made for each other, two pieces of the same puzzle. The room was getting hotter by second and I felt all sweaty and out of breath... But I loved it. His hands were all over me, warm and safe, the hands of gold. I didn't even know what I'm doing, it all came automatically. Then his hands slid under my shirt, touching my back and the hem of my bra...

...And suddenly, panic swelled over me. Out of breath turned into unable to breathe. The sweat on my back was ice cold, scaring me even more. The fear was so sudden... But I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't what this to happen yet. I leaned on my elbows and pulled my body from under his. Eddie kept kissing me, he didn't even realize what's going on...

"Eddie... I'm not ready..." I breathed, making my voice as loud as I could in that panicked state. I barely recognised it as mine.

Eddie's eyes opened, baffled and dazzled from the high. "Huh?" he asked, his voice hoarse, like he just woke up.

"I can't..."

"Oh, my God!" he exclaimed and slapped his forehead. He climbed off of me immediately, so that his chest was leaning over my knees. His face was a reflection of despair and shock. "Jill, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about it, I automatically-"

"It's okay, I get it-"

"No, it's not, Jill, I-"

"It's not your fault-"

"It is-"

"You're still doing it!"

The devastation on Eddie's face turned into surprise. "What?" he uttered after a few seconds of silence. My words came out of nowhere and seemed out of context. "What are you talking about?" Eddie repeated as I said nothing.

"You're still doing it, even after everything we've been through. You're being so damn insecure about yourself. You may have accepted that we love each other and are better together, but you don't trust yourself with anything. You blame yourself for everything. And I don't see why! I know how much you've been through, but this isn't good for you! You're a storm in a battle and scared to act in everything else. Don't you see that you could't have known about this? That 99% percent of the things you're blaming yourself for are not even your fault? That I love you because you're amazing and strong and good at everything you do and you deserve more credit than you give yourself? Trust yourself a little, for God's sake! You deserve it!"

Eddie stared at me blankly. His face was a mask, looking like he hasn't heard a single thing I'd said, but I knew his ears swallowed every word hungrily. His look told me that. Everything about him seemed numb, but his eyes told a story of their own.

As for me... My head bent down, and my gaze with it, because I couldn't stand how piercing Eddie's look was. I looked down at my hands, noticing they're shaking. My whole body was trembling from the excitement and adrenalin than came with the river of words I couldn't stop. I'd been wanting to tell him that for a long time. It always surprised me how the best way to come clean was to get speach consumed me so powerfully I didn't phisically feel anything until the moment I could take a breath and calm down.

I wished for at least some kind of reaction from Eddie, but I knew I wouldn't get it. Not yet. We'd been through things alike a few times. I'd shocked him with this, and I knew him well enough to know he needed to clear his mind, think about what had just happened and... Well, realize I'm right.

Silence lay over the room. Chilling silence. I still didn't dare to look up, so I just watched my legs dangle from the edge of the bed, as I gradually stopped shaking. I noticed Eddie stir and squinted in his direction. He was checking the time on his phone. In the rising daylight, the screen lighted up the room just for a shade.

"It's five minutes to curfew," he said, his voice breaking. The first thing he's said in the last few minutes. "I should get going."

"Okay," I said uneasily. I'd been so sure I know what's going on, but now I wasn't that certain anymore. I was afraid my face reflected my worry. "I love you," I said quietly as he opened the door.

Eddie mustered a wan smile as we exchanged gazes insecurely. "I love you too." He closed the door - gently and carefully, as it annoyed me so oftenly - and dissappeared. I threw myself back on the bed, the bed where it all happened. I was frustrated. All I knew is that he's confused - and so was I. I didn't know how he feels.

I suddenly wished I had Adrian's ability to see auras. I'd gotten so used to it because we were normally so close that I missed it now. Reading people definetly had its good sides. I was probably one of the rare people who could understand auras without being able to actually see them.

A few minutes later Aimee returned, her face glowing with happiness. I swallowed my worries and gave my best to smile. She rushed towards my bed and held both of my hands, squealing.

"So? How was the date?" I asked.

"Perfect! He's so amazing! Everything was so perfect, oh, my God! We couldn't stop talking, and he walked me to my room, and I almost missed it because I was so caught up talking to him, and... He's the best, oh, my God... Thank you so much for meeting him!"

I laughed. Her excitement was contageous and I was glad I kind of brought them together.

"And what did you and Eddie do?" she asked. Of course she knew I'd be with him. She just didn't know the latest events.

"We, uh..." I wavered. I felt a shadow fall over my face.

Aimee gave me a worried look, her brows furrowing. "What happened? Did you guys fight?"

"Um... Kind of. It's complicated. I don't want to go into details."

She wasn't insulted that I dismissed her, but the worry remained on her face.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," I said, forcing a laugh. "You just had the best date ever, let's dedicate to that. How was it?"

Aimee broke into an excited smile and began to tell me what had happened between her and Reed. I listened carefully, trying to stay focused. I hadn't only changed the subject to not weight her, I also wanted to keep my mind off of Eddie for a while.

It didn't go very well. Eddie's words that were so short but said so much kept ringing in my head long after I got into bed. I eventually realized we hadn't even cleared up what had brought the fight on in the first place. Knowing I'd only have one more thing to worry about that way, I picked up my phone from my night stand, put it on silent and began writing a text.

_About earlier... I hope you understand it has nothing to do with you, it's just that I just turned sixteen and I'm just not ready yet. Hell, I know you'll understand because you're you and you get me. I just had to write this because... Because I'm me and I had to make sure._

I put my head back on the pillow. It had no use, I was even more restless than before. I knew Eddie was laying in bed awake just like me. Or maybe not in bed, since he wasn't depending on a silly curfew.

I soon got my proof that I was right about him being awake, because my phone chimmed with a text a few endless minutes later. His response was short, but very satisfying: _I know. And I love you for it_.

I smiled to my phone silily. _I love you too_, I responded.

As I almost already fell asleep, another text came: _And you were right. I've thought about it... It's hard not to believe someone telling you you're awesome. I'll try to trust myself more. Remind me if I fail_.

_That's why I'm here_, I wrote back, my smile cracking wider and wider. Everything was in order again. Even better than before. Thoughts like that echoed in my mind, becoming more quiet by second until I drowned in sweet dreams.

A few weeks went by without anything extraordinary happening (whatever passes as extraordinary in my life). After that night's fallout with me and Eddie everything was perfect between the two of us, and I felt as though he'd taken my words in knowledge for real. Our lives weren't any more flawless than before, but the shadows of misery and guilt I'd used to catch in his eyes from time to time had gotten noticeably rarer, almost vanished. Eventually, when we'd settled down in our new routine, I succeeded to convince him into that promised fight practise. He was a bit hesitant and we kept it down to everyone but our friends because we'd gone further than just self defence a while ago. Also, that huge school gym with every equipment you could imagine was the only spot in the campus where I could freely wield offensive magic. Both of those things - magical and physical fighting - were still considered tabboos.

And speaking of tabboos, the stares and whispers pressuring us had definetly descreased, almost dissappeared. Most people had simply gotten used to us, although some royals - the ones that always found something to pick on - still felt like they have to be exceptions.

Aimee and Reed dated ever since the night of their first date, and Angeline often mentioned that they were a serious thread to Eddie and me at being the school's most cliche couple. We hadn't seen much Trey since he went to college (the academy wasn't a big fan of human visitors, they also weren't eager on boarders leaving the property), and I knew if I found it little, Angeline must've been choking with longing. We all had sympathy in our hearts for her, and ignored it when she was being a bit difficult. In my opinion, it was no comparation to her first Amberwood days. At least it seemed that she would graduate next year. I had a feeling she'd thrown herself into work to silent her loneliness down. Most of her questionable attitude was pointed towards us, which I liked much better than if she were shaking her temperament at the teachers. I tried to be by her side as much as possible, but as was significant for her, she discuised signs of pain and acted as strong as possible. I'd seen similar behaviour in Eddie, Neil and Rose. No matter her faults, I was more and more convinced Angeline was guardian material after all.

School was exactly the way I remembered it; not my favorite part of life, but as long as it was there, you might as well make the best out of it. Most classes kind of went by, but magic was my favorite. Our teacher, Mrs. Carmack, wasn't as strict in the belief that magic was meant to be kept in a box, like it's some sort of a curse among the Moroi. Maybe that was the reason she'd seeked a job as a maogic teacher. She was my favorite teacher. In eleventh grade we didn't have much control in her classes anyway, as we were divided into groups due to our specialization. Mrs. Carmack was only there to keep an eye on us and guide us in our work, and so occasionally harmless magic fights broke out. Of course, according to everyone, they 'never happened'.

While World History became my least favorite class. It appeared Ms. Malloy really did hate Dragomirs, or at least me. Suddenly I was responsible for everything I didn't do, I picked every fight, I was found talking in class whenever I was quiet, or passing messages at least. I tried not to hold a grudge, but it felt as though it got worse within every lesson. Aimee agreed, and even a few uninformed classmates had asked me what I did to the teacher to make her so mad. I rather didn't mention anything to Eddie, because I had no hard proof, and because I knew he'd act even without it. I loved how he'd do everything for me, but that didn't mean I wanted him to get in trouble. I needed him around.

I hadn't lost my contact with the Court either, in more ways than one. I'd made a few short weekend visits, Adrian was on my speed dial and most of the time I knew every thought on his mind. Him and Lissa were still working on the ring - unsuccessfully for now. Lissa brushed as many of her royal duties aside to have more time to figure out, while Adrian uncharacteristically spent most of his free time searching for any signs of former spirit users who had succeeded in charming gold. Their zeal had moved into me as well, keeping me awake at night thinking about a way to help them.

The warm summer had turned into fall long ago, now the red and orange shades of the woods had faded into a dull grey winter. First snowflakes were glittering in the cloudy November morning; thick silver mist lay over the academy. Frostbite crawled over the the window that allowed me the view. It looked beautiful out there - but I knew it only felt that beautiful if your coat was thick enough. Winter in Montana had a deserved reputation.

I was in my history class of all places, trying to be as invisible as possible to keep me off of Ms. Malloy's radar, letting my mind wander off. I knew I should've focused, but I was too lost in thoughts. And soon my mind wandered even further; I found myself in a different room. It was Lissa's living room and I was once again watching it through Adrian's eyes.

"You think Sonya wouldn't help us?" he asked with a sigh. It had been months and they were starting to fear they won't make it. Three rings were placed on the table, Tarus, Szelsky and Conta, anf the only realization they'd made by now was that the compultion inside them had the same caster and the same power.

"Sonya is, uh, busy," Lissa said, mischief shining in her eyes for a moment. Then her smile faded to a frown again. This tourtured all three of us. "How about Nina?"

"Er, I happen to think Nina won't be eager on working with me," Adrian uttered, feeling stings of guilt in his stomach. He held up a the simple golden ring Lisda had brought from somewhere for experiments. "Seriously, how hard can it be to charm a goddamn golden object!?"

"I don't know, it's so easy with silver!" Lissa groaned and threw herself back into the cushions of the couch.

"Wasn't for me," Adrian muttered. "God, I really wish we could get Nina to help us."

"What if we first try to get that strong of compultion into silver?" Lissa suggested. Adrian nodded defeated. He was out of ideas. "You got any?" he asked. Lissa flashed one of those royal smiles of hers and rushed towards a big wooden dresser. She pulled the top drawer open, revealing a glittering stash of chains, jewelry, utensils and everything imaginable that was silver. Adrian, quick on his feet to follow her, gasped at the sight.

"Holy crap, cousin, where did you get that?"

Lissa blushed, half proud and half ashamed. "I've been collecting silver wherever I could get it for a while now, to practise charming. This is what I've got."

"Hold on a second," Adrian said, excited to feel an idea forming in his mind. It had nothing to do with Lissa's words. "How do we charm silver? In theory?" The question was purely retoric.

Lissa gave him a puzzled look, then replied: "Well, we draw the magic into it. Spirit magic is an element in nature that would exist in either way, our body is just a bridge from it to the material world. That's why it takes so much self-control and discipline to wield the magic anf that's why the magic sometimes wields us."

"Exactly," Adrian said, his face glowing. "And we use silver because it's so very susceptible to magic. But what if we use the silver as a part of the bridge, the magic's final destination being the gold?"

"You mean we use the silver as a conductor of magic?" Lissa asked. She paused, then began to nod slowly. "Yes, that could work. We should try it out."

She took a thin silver chain out and considered it quietly. "I don't think I've charmed this one before," she said thoughtfully. "How do we suppose we do this?"

Adrian took the chain from her feverishly and wrapped it around the empty ring. The sweet and powerful taste of spirit magic flew over him. He sighed in joy - spirit was almost an addiction to its users - and directed it into the intertwined metals. Automatically, the magic he was wielding was a healing kind. He felt the way magic occupied the silver, as it should have, but he pushed further. Spirit travelled through every particale of the chain, until it finally reached the end. That was when it should've gotten into the gold...

And it did.

"You made it!" Lissa squealed and hugged him. Adrian grinned and returned her embrace. He was shaking with the adrenalin and so incredibly happy and extatic. Half of it came from spirit. But not all of it. I felt myself smile. Finally! They made it, and they were only a few steps to replicating the original Dragomir ring. I was so proud of Adrian, he had once been so convinced he's a failure, and now I knew he couldn't think that anymore.

"It's not a copy of the ring yet," Adrian said, and I once again thought maybe the bond worked both ways, "But we can work on it. We're almost there."

"This is a huge step," Lissa agreed, a joyful smile playing on her lips. But suddenly he collapsed on the couch and dug her face into her palms. "But we'll never reach it!" she suddenly broke out. "We'll never replicate the ring, and even if we do, what's the point? It's not going to bring me any closer to my family because it's not going to be the real thing. No one's worn whatever we'll create, and the meaning is purely simbolic. What's the point?"

Adrian, shocked over her outburst, sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, desperatley trying to get a grip of any comforting words he could say to her. I wanted to help myself too. I wished there was something I could've done, that I wouldn't be just an outside observer. Lissa was my family, all that's left of it. And I don't know why, I wished so strongly for that meaningless simbolic ring it made no sense. We all did. What had gotten into us? Why did a charmed piece of gold fascinate and obssess us so badly? If there-

"JILLIAN MASTRANO!"

I winced at my shouted name, ripped out of my thoughts. I'd left Adrian's a while ago.

Ms. Malloy was staring at me, her black eyes wide, face red.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't use my classes as a time for your beauty sleep," she said quietly. Her face was like stone in silent rage, her charcoal-like eyes shining like fire. She'd shoot me in that moment if she had a chance. She only looked calm, but I knew she wasn't.

I wasn't much calmer than her. '"I wasn't asleep!" I exclaimed, completely forgetting I'm talking to a teacher. Students leaned forward on their chairs, looking like they found themselves in the middle of a soap opera.

"Then what exactly were you doing?" she asked, walking from her desk towards the middle of the class with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked like one of the teachers from the 19th century, walking with slow resounding steps. I felt Aimee shift away. I should've been scared, she was authority, but I wasn't. I felt resistance in every vein of mine, in every drop of my blood.

"What. Were. You. Doing?"

"I was-"

A flame lighted up on her desk, out of nowhere, thick black smoke filling the classroom. I didn't know what it happened, maybe one of the students messing with everything, maybe the teacher herself. She was a fire user, and maybe she lost control in her rage. I seemed to be the only one who noticed it. I rose my hand and sent a wave of water towards the desk, splashing the teacher in the process. The fire vanished... But it was like a brand new flame lighted up on Ms. Malloy's face.

"HOW DARE YOU!?" she shouted. I winced. I knew that if not before, I'm trouble now.

Ten minutes later I was sitting in the headmistress's office, waiting for Kirova to arrive. Her high leather chair looked much more comfortable than the wooden one they'd sat me on. I was in so much trouble it was a surprise they dared to leave me unsupervised when I could've caused another disaster.

I looked around the office. I'd only been there maybe twice. Never because I'd be in trouble. Tall closets and shelves were placed all over the room, filled with normal office props, objects I couldn't recognise as useful, records of teachers, students and others on separate shelves. They were only marked with initials. I gazed around hoping to recognise any.

I did. I was sure the initials VD marked my sister, Vasilisa Dragomir. The weird part was that it was placed along with the shelf that was meant for the record of others. I recognised a few names of former teachers that worked here before I left to Palm Springs, victims of the Strigoi attack two years ago, but no other former students. Actually, I was pretty sure I saw Rose's and Eddie's record along with other students, former and present. So why would they place Lissa with others?

I checked the door to make sure no one was there, then jumped up from my chair and stepped on my fingers to pick up Lissa's record and see what was so outstanding about it. She was the Queen now, but never at the time she'd been a boarder, so what did it have to do with the school?

I opened the dark blue record. It was lighter and emptier than I'd thought. After browsing through it for a minute, I also realized it wasn't even about Lissa. It was about Victor Dashkov. They had the same initials, so my confusion was understandable. But Dashkov was someone I'd never think about. I didn't have positive experience with him. In fact, he'd once kidnapped me and forced his spirit-wielding brother to compel me into not sleeping. The thought alone made me shiver. I almost stopped aimlessly browsing and closed the record immediately, when something caught my attention. _...the Dragomir ring..._ That was definetly what three words on a page I'd crossed said. The whole page was written all over with a hadwriting unfamiliar to me. It appeared to be a part of a journal that was enclosed to the record.

I glanced around the room to make sure I'm still alone, then stacked the journal under my cardigan. I tried to place the record back where it was before and sat innocently back on the wooden chair, waiting for Kirova again. It would've been better to look completely innocent, but I was shaking. I wanted to read the journal from one cover to another and find all it said about the ring, but I couldn't do it here, where I could get caught. I also felt a tiny bit guilty. I never would've taken the journal if I didn't find that reference.

_...the Dragomir ring..._

Was this a trail to finding it?

**I wasn't sure how to end this chapter, or better said where. Do you like it better if there are cliffhangers in the end or if I close an event and start a chapter a bit later? Should chapters be shorter? Please let me know in reviews so that I can get better! Also, I'm thinking about naming chapters. Actually, I have all the names picked already, I just want to know if you want me to use them. Maybe I'll just update somewhere in a few days just to change the names of the chapters. Otherwise the next chapter is coming as soon as possible, by the end of the month I hope.**


	19. A Glimpse Of The Past

**A new chapter's here! I'm not going to elaborate, let me just say I don't own anything, the wonderful author Richelle Mead does, and that I'm sorry for all mistakes i made while writing. If you have a moment, review, even if it's bad. Hope you enjoy!**

It turned out I didn't hide the journal a second too soon, because before my breathing steadied, the office door opened, revealing a furious headmistress Ellen Kirova.  
"Miss Dragomir! Who do you think you are to treat a teacher with such disrespect and use offensive magic in class!?"  
Unlike Ms. Malloy, Kirova wasn't a person of calm rage. Her face was turning purple and if the looks behind the frames of her glasses could kill, I would've been dead. And unlile Ms. Malloy, I was afraid of Kirova, because I knew several people that had experienced her rage on their own skin, and it was never pleasant. I swallowed and put on a face as innocent and meak as I could.  
"I- I know how ridiculous this sounds, but I have a perfectly good explanation if you are willing to listen to it."  
"I'm all ears," Kirova snapped and walked over the office to sit into her chair on the other side of the wooden desk. The wood was coppery brown and polished; just the kind you'd expect in a vampire's office. Its combination with the moonlight coming from the tall window in the back seemed to only bring out the anger in the headmistress's eyes. I crouched the smallest I could make myself in the chair and hoped her fairness would save me when she hears the story.  
"Well?"  
"Uh... I only called out the water because there was a fire on Ms. Malloy's desk. I don't know how that happened, but I'm sure of it. My reaction was just a reflex. I probably wasn't the only one to see it, and if you can't get a witness, I- I'm quite sure there must be consequences of the fire on the desk," I said. "I mean, Ms. Malloy is a fire user, maybe, as mad as she got, she was the one to set the fire..."  
I bit my lip and stopped talking. I expected to get a lesson about accusing teachers of doing illegal things, but Kirova only dug her face into one of her palms. All of her anger suddenly vanished. She looked tired, I realized.  
"I'm sorry," I said gingerly.  
"You should be in most other cases," Kirova sighed. "But you should know that Ms. Malloy often lets her political beliefs lead her before reason."  
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. "To me, she always seemed perfectly normal and reasonable to everyone." I paused, then corrected myself: "Well, anyone but me."  
"Yes, I thought so," said Kirova. "You see, the case was similar two years ago, when Vasilisa - your sister - was a senior. Except that it didn't go so far. But I did have a chat with your teacher, which calmed her down."  
Her words reminded me of the conversation Eddie and I had had after the first incident with Ms. Malloy. "Does she have a dislike for Dragomirs or something like that? She was never like that towards me before."  
Kirova laughed, although she clearly didn't think it was very funny. "'Something like that' is a better expression. Her beliefs are... Very old-school. I know about the things going on at Court, how your sister is putting her best efforts to make offensive magic legal, about giving non-royals more rights, dhampirs being our equals, all things in that area. Ms. Malloy is against all of those things. She knew your sister was striving for all of that, even before her possition in the society flew up to the hights, and she was being unfair towards her because of it. Now, when all she's against is coming true, she's venting her anger on you."  
"Oh." I didn't have a better reaction.  
"But," the headmistress continued meaningfully. "She still must've been very upset to set a fire in her own classroom. I heard you were sleeping in her class?"  
"I, ah, I wasn't really asleep," I uttered. The head of the school knew about my bond with Adrian, but it had always been an uncomfortable subject for me to talk about, because barely anyone ever believed me.  
"Then what could you possibly doing that looked like sleep but wasn't sleep? Were you meditating?"  
"I was in Adrian's head," I admitted with a sigh. Kirova's jaw fell in surprise. Clearly she hadn't expected that answer, and she eiter thought that she misunderstood me or that I've lost it. Or maybe she didn't believe me at all.  
"Explain," she blurted after an agonizing moment of silence.  
"You know I'm bound to Adrian, right?" I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to make sure. She replied with a short astonished nod.  
"Alright. I don't know if you know, but when Rose and Lissa were here, Rose slipped to her head quite a few times. After a while, you gain control of the bond for most times, but sometimes, when his feelings are too strong, I lose the control and just see the world through his eyes and there's nothing I can do about it. I seem absent, or maybe asleep, as the last time when it happened. I tried really hard to focus..." That wasn't entirely true, becuse I let my mund wander before and was then quite interested in the events at the Court, "But I was helpless."  
"I understand," Kirova said firmly. "But in the future, I need you to remember that Mr. Ivashkov's problems aren't any more important than yours, and that yours will be bigger if we ever catch you with similar behaviour in class again. Do we understand each other?"  
I gave a sharp nod, quietly wondering if she was threateining to expell me.  
"I will talk to Ms. Malloy and tell her to be more proffesional, and I hope the two of you won't cause any more trouble to each other." Her tone let me know that she didn't consider me completely innocent. "You may go. And it might be better if you spend the rest of today's classes in your room. This event will probably raise a lot of rumors, and you already have enough of those to worry about."  
I nodded. "Thank you." At least I got away without a punsihment. I got up with incredible self control I didn't know I had, closed the door in a reserved way Eddie would be proud of, and sprinted down the spiral stairs as fast as I could. The morning off was the best opportunity I'd have to read that journal. I was so wildly curious I didn't even around to hide from the teachers that liked to cause boarders trouble. Luckily for me, the second period began ten minutes before Kirova let me go, so everyone was in their classrooms already.  
I closed the door of my room behind me and collapsed on the bed, catching my breath. As soon as I calmed down a little, I picked up my phone and called Eddie. He answered on the first ring, as I expected. The tone he greeted me in was significantly worried.  
"Jill? Aren't you in class? Is everything okay?" he asked promptly.  
"Yes, I'm fine," I said, throwing my head back at the pillow.  
"Then why-"  
"I'm out of class for the day. Can you come over and I'll explain?"  
"Sure, I'll be there in ten minutes," he said, sounding calmer than before. "You're really okay?"  
"Come and see," I teased. He chuckled and hung up.  
I called him over because I didn't want to skip a single opportunity to be with him, because I wanted to talk to him about what had just happened and because I had a feeling I'd want to discuss the whole journal thing. But I didn't have the patience to wait for him, so I opened the journal on the first page, took a deep breath and dived in.  
It started aproximately ten years ago with the words_ This is a journal to the future generations, to let them know how the revolutions in their society were planned and performed. - Victor Dashkov_  
I turned the page because the rest of it was blank. The beginning told that Victor had become the Dashkov prince ten years ago and began to activly plan his revolution then. He also recieved the Dashkov ring, which shouldn't have surprised me. I'd always had the feeling those rings weren't for bad people, but of course no one was aware of Victor's plans at the time. The important thing was that he had known more about the rings' origins than any other temporary owner - at least as far as I knew.  
_The Dashkov ring is going to be a great help in my plan. Becoming a prince is opening a thousand options for me. It raised my political influence and my reputation between people. I will gain enough powers to become the king of Moroi until the next elections, especially with the ring. Its powers are exceptional; it possesses the most powerful compultion I've crossed roads with in my life. Even Robert says he's never seen anything like that and couldn't replicate it._  
Robert Doru had been his step-brother and one of the most powerful spirit users of all times - had been. He had been the first to restore Strigoi, and had also exceled in compultion the last rime I saw him. He'd used it on me when him and Victor took me as a bait. The thought of him made me shiver. But I was quite sure Robert had lost his mind without Victor's guidance - and Victor was dead. I'd seen him die. I had nothing to be afraid of. With a deep breath, I continued to read.  
My historic sources say a lot about the rings. They say St. Vladimir was the creator of them. I'm not sure if that's only a legend, but I have made sure of their strenght. Whoever wears the ring has the people he speaks to at his knees. That's why only monarchs were supposed to wear them, and I'm only supposed to be its keeper. But I can clearly use the ring, besides I do rule my people. They will obey every order of mine and find me the most charismatic person they have ever met. I will be a god to them. They will do anythimg for me. Of course, the bigger the crowd, the weaker the effect of the ring will be. But my crowd is not that big just yet, and by the time it will be, the closer circle of my subjects will be loyal enough for me to make others obey. If they won't, I still have Robert as a secret weapon.  
Then he wrote under a different date, about some of the plans that didn't mean much to me. I tried to read them at first, but they didn't catch my attention as much as the talk about the ring. All those plans were about his infamous revolution, which probably didn't matter that much anymore since he was dead. I made a mental note to take the journal to the Court the next time, so that my better-informed friends could tell us if this could still cause any trouble. Until then, I continued to browse. A mention of Lissa's name caught my attention a few pages ahead.  
_The number of my subjects keeps increasing as days pass by, which is a good thing, but I soon won't be able to control them anymore. I will need another royal ring. I suppose the easiest one to gain would be the Dragomir ring. But still not that easy. Eric might be my friend, but he won't willingly give me something so precious. It would be too suspicious to compell him. I'm also afraid Vasilisa would notice. She doesn't know it yet, but she will once be a powerful spirit user. And I will need her to heal me soon. My disease is progressing quickly, even with Robert's occasional healing. He soon won't be able to use much spirit anymore. Losing Aiden took a huge toll on him and he seems to be losing his mind more and more. I need Vasilisa. Only her. I need to get rid of the other Dragomirs and get the ring. She will be the last descendant and very protected, but as a trusted family friend I will get the ring from Eric, and Vasilisa will see me as her only relative and friend. She will trust me, which will push her into my tight grip. Then she can help me. That Hathaway brat could be a pain, but I'll get rid of her if she gets too annoying. Otherwise, I'll make sure she knows nothing or forgets what she saw by coincidence._  
"What the hell?" I exclaimed and threw the journal down. It hit the floor with a loud pang. Only its covers were thick, it was actually shorter than it seemed. By skipping those few pages I actually skipped four years. And now I was at the part where Victor had been planning the car accident that had killed Lissa's - my - family. Only to get control over innocent people and to get Lissa's spirit powers on his command. How could someone be so cruel?  
A loud knock on the door interrupted my rage. When I heard Eddie's voice, I realized it probably hadn't been the first one.  
"Jill? Jill, are you in there?"  
With a little guilt over worrying him again, I jumped off the bed and rushed towards the door, opening it up wildly. Eddie pulled me into his embrace.  
"Where have you been? What the hell was that noise?" he demanded with his arms still around my waist. His grip was tight and panicked, but not uncomfortable.  
"Calm down," I whispered, pressing a finger on his lips. "Everything's fine." Considering how mad I had been only a minute ago, it was a surprise I was able to calm someone else down. I pulled him inside. He closed the door by leaning on them from behind. As soon as the click provided us a little privacy, his lips were on mine, hungry and sweet. This wasn't the way I imagined my morning, but it was a thousand times better than a Slavic Art class.  
I felt a madness I didn't recognise in Eddie, he'd never been that fierce with me - at least not since we were officially together. He seemed... Relieved. I really must've scared him.  
As it often seemed to happen, Eddie ended up laying over me in my bed. He leaned on his hands in order to let me breathe and smiled. We both started to laugh for no reason. Maybe because his laughter was contagious. He pulled me up and helped me sit on the bed next to him. I climbed into his lap and kissed him again, slowly and gently this time. We didn't start to make out madly again, I just couldn't keep my hand off of him.  
"What was that noise earlier?" he asked, his voice heated up. We were both breathing heavily, sweating and still laughing. His question pulled me out of the sweet intoxication he'd caused me. I remembered the journal.  
"It was that book over there being thrown at the floor," I said, pointing into its direction. Eddie leaned down to pick it up, impossibly keeping me in his lap and holding his balance. I watched him in awe, wondering how a person can be so graceful. And how such a person would want his arms around me of all people.  
"Thrown at the floor? What did the poor thing do to you?" he asked, shaking his head at me. He turned the journal over in his arms curiously, stroking the cushioned covers. "What is this anyway? It looks like a... planner? A weird notbook maybe?"  
"It's Victor Dashkov's journal," I said and looked away. I still hadn't processed what I'd found out earlier. I mean... I didn't get past it, but he signaled hid plans quite clearly. But still, would he really...?  
"Jill?"  
I blinked as I realized Eddie's waving his hand in front of my eyes.  
"What?"  
"Where did you get Victor Dashkov's journal? Do you know how dangerous that man was?" he demanded. He was really on the edge today, and I kept making he go out of his mind.  
"No kidding, it's not like he kidnapped me and kept me awake with compultion," I muttered.  
He winced. "Right." We exchanged the glances, but the air wasn't as sweet and easy as before. His brown eyes were tensed and worried. "So what happened?"  
I gave him an outline of the morning events. He listened carefully, saying an incredulous word or two every few minutes. He never moved his gaze from me, nor I wanted him to.  
"What's the point of me being here if I can't protect you from things like that?" he asked in exasperation when I finished the story.  
"This," I replied and pressed another kiss on his lips. He returned it stronger than I'd expected, then let me go too soon and threw his head back.  
"I swear, I would've given up on myself already if it wasn't for you," he sighed to the ceiling. He purpusly kept his gaze away from mine, but I still thought the despair shining in his eyes had never been so clear.  
"Don't. Ever," I said, practically begging him. He avoided my look. My guess that something was wrong turned out to be correct. "Remember what I told you. You deserve to trust yourself, you're amazing and I love you." I caught the hold of his hand, but he barely responded. I wasn't used to him this vunerable. It was horrible - but on the other hand it meant he trusted me enough to reveal who he truly was, not only play the stoic guardian act.  
"I'm no use here," he stated.  
"That's not true," I decleared. "You just can't follow my every step here, no student gets that kind of treatment. And it's not like I was in any real danger. If there was - if, but there won't be - a Strigoi attack or something similarly disasterous, you'd still get to kick their butts."  
He chuckled and returned my squeeze of his hand. "I don't know, I guess I was just used to always keeping an eye over you and being next to you even before the potential danger could appear. Here... I barely get to see you."  
"Well, you can't exactly control my every move, you know," I teased.  
"I don't mean to do that. I just want to follow you around in the creepy-stalkerish way and crumble everyone who tries to hurt you into dust," he said innocently. I laughed. He looked better, calmer, but my gut was telling me something was wrong.  
"I-" I started, but he cut me off without realizing it.  
"So what's in the journal?"  
"Nothing good," I sighed my mind wandering back to what I'd found out before he came. "I found out what the Dragomir ring really is. Also... Is it possible that Victor caused the car accident Lissa's family died in?"  
Eddie's eyes widened. He had still been holding the journal. Now he opened it somewhere in the middle and began to browse through it. I took it from him and opened at the pages I'd read before. He stared into the paper for a few minutes and shook his head in disbelief.  
"Yes, it's definetly true. I don't think you got to this part." He started to read aloud: "No one assumed the driver was bribed and on a suicidal mission. As I hoped, only Vasilisa got out of the accident without a scratch. Impossibly, Hathaway survived as well. Impossible for the uninformed, at least. She should have died. This could only mean one; Vasilisa's powers have awoken. Soon she will be able to help my disease. First we have to bond a little. I have to gain her trust." Eddie cleared his throat, trying to look cold, but I knew he was as horrified as me.  
"Son of a bitch!" I cried. "How could he?"  
"I... I have no words for that man," Eddie said. "Him dead... It might be for the better."  
I sighed. "Is that it?"  
"No, I think you might be interested in this," he said and continued reading: "Meanwhile, I can practise ruling with two royal rings. Andre had the Dragomir one in his pocket at the time of the accident. I was a bit surprised, I thought Eric was its keeper. At least this way it was easier to sneak away. I think the Dragomir ring is more powerful than the Dashkov one."  
"No wonder if slimy idiots like Victor get them," I growled.  
Eddie gave a small laugh. "Then he only writes on about how everyone obeys him and how him and Lissa are super close and how she's becoming friends with Natalie too-"  
"Who's Natalie?" I interrupted curiously.  
"Oh. Right. You probably never knew her," he realized. I nodded expectantly.  
"She was Victor's daughter. Then he convinced her into turning Strigoi - which I get way better how he did now when I know about the rings -, she kicked Rose's butt and then Dimitri killed her. Natalie, I mean. Rose is still alive, as you know."  
"He convinced his own daughter into turning Strigoi?" I asked, my voice so small I barely recognised it. "What kind of a monster does that?" I whispered. I almost slid off the bed in horror. Eddie caught my hand and pulled me back into the safety of his lap.  
"I know," he said. "But that was after Robert restored his first Strigoi. It doesn't undo Victor's actions, but he wanted to change her back later."  
"Well, he sure nailed that one," I remarked, surprised to find my voice shaking a little. "Gosh."  
"If it helps, here's something that slams him," Eddie told me, his eyes on one of the pages. "Those two brats escaped!"  
"Go Lissa and Rose!" I cheered. We hit a high five and both laughed.  
Eddie then continued to read: "Vasilisa already considered me her only family and I succeeded in a few attempts of forcing her into using spirit without her noticing. She was already weak, therefore more likely to give in and help me volunteerly, and now they both vanished into thin air."  
"Oh, poor Victor," I scoffed.  
"There's not much more in the journal," Eddie said, looking through is swiftly. "Nothing but more plans. It ends just before he wanted to finally kidnap Lissa and they caught him."  
"Well, I guess planning a revolution in prison isn't very easy," I stated.  
"Oh, I think he was still planning it," Eddie said darkly. "He just had nothing to write his plans down. I was at his trial and he didn't seem like a person who would back down."  
Silence filled the room. It was impossible for it to get uncomfortable, since I was already cosily placed in Eddie's lap. I dug my face in the crook of his neck, letting the familiar scent of his and the smooth feeling od his soft skin alome calm me down. One of his arms was wrapped around my shoulders, his hand slowly stroking my upper arm. My breathing steadied. Somewhere in the back of my head thoughts about Victor and his evilness were still racing, but I didn't let them control me.  
"Did you know it's lunch time?" Eddie said casually.  
"Already?" I asked incredulously. "Are you hungry?"  
He gave me a guilty look and shrugged. "When am I not, really?"  
I laughed. "Come on, let's go," I said and pulled his arm.  
"It's okay, we don't have to, I'm used to it-"  
"I said let's go and that's an order," I said decisivly. "The fact that you're used to being hungry alone is wrong, and as lomg as you're my guardian, you don't have to suffer that."  
"You don't even know how attractive it is when you talk like this," he murmured. My heart fluttered as we kissed. He was everywhere around me and it felt so... Good.  
"We should really go," I said.  
"Maybe if we go now, we'll get there in two hours," he said with a smirk.  
Rushing him to lunch had no use though, because he insisted on giving me half of his. Lunch break was almost over by the time we noticed we should go there. The cold metal chairs of the cafeteria were almost empty and we didn't attract much attention. As always, we didn't have trouble talking, but in the corner of my mind thoughts of Dashkov's journal were still rushing.  
"Do you think we should tell Lissa about this?" I asked out of nowhere. Eddie's looked turned blank for a second, but he soon realized what I'm talking about.  
"The not-so-accident and that Victor had the ring?" he asked. "I honestly see no need. Knowing her family was murdered would be quite a hit, I'd rather let her think it was an accident. And Victor is just as dead as Andre and Eric, so it wouldn't help anyone if they knew he was the one who had it."  
"You're right," I sighed. "I just wish there was something I could do about it. You know? There's no way of finding out what Victor did to the ring, right?"  
He knew what answer I was hoping for and his expression told me he was sorry to let me down before he spoke. "From what Rose told me, they got rid of his dead body. There's no reason to think he didn't have the ring with him, especially if you remember how precious if was to him."  
"Don't you think they seized his property in prison?"  
Eddie sighed. "Very likely, but no one's breaking into Tarasov again." He put a heavy emphasis on no one and his stern look demanded me to not even think about it.  
I didn't even think there was a way of breaking into the most protected Moroi prison. But...  
"Again?" I asked.  
"Long story," he said. Even though he dismissed it so quickly, his lip corners were twitching. I tried to get to the bottom of the story, but he wouldn't tell me anything.  
By the time we headed back to my dorm room class was almost over. We walked in silence and I noticed he was distanced. I remembered how tensed he'd been in the room earlier. My intuition that something's wrong hasn't faded.  
"What's wrong?" I asked as I closed the door. He narrowed his eyes in wonder while taking his coat off. "Nothing," he said.  
"Oh, come on. As if I don't know you," I said and crossed my arms over my chest. "Something's bothering you."  
"I just wanted to talk to you about something," he admitted and sat on the bed. He made it sound like a question.  
"Okay," I said and sat next to him. "What is it?"  
He looked down at his knees in hesitation. He looked so nervous I wasn't even sure I want to know anymore. "I-"  
The door bursted open and revealed Aimee's head, half covered in a thick scarf. "There you are!" she exclaimed. "Or, both of you. I could've known. Am I interrupting something?"  
Eddie and I both opened our mouths, but before we could say anything, another head appeared, followed by a matching body.  
"What happened to you? Where were you all day?" Angeline exclaimed. Her auburn curls flew behind her as she rushed into the room. She was wearing Rose's old coat that reached over her knees unzipped, as if she came here in a hurry.  
"I was called into headmistress's office after causing a flood in my history class," I explained.  
"Oh, so you were telling the truth," Angeline said, turning towards Aimee. "I thought I lost you before even becoming your guardian," she said back to me.  
"Wow, both of my guardians protecting me from mad teachers," I remarked.  
"Yeah, what happened with that?" asked Aimee. I explained the whole story again, only leaving the journal part out. Then they told me what I'd missed and the whole afternoon went by. In the evening I realized Eddie never talked to me about whatever he wanted to talk about. It was after curfew and I was in bed, but I still texted him.  
_We'll talk when there's an opportunity_, he replied.  
_That was kind of clear. When?_ I wrote back.  
_Don't know. Can you sneak on Friday?_  
I smiled to myself. A few weeks after arriving to campus we decided we spend absolutely too little time together, so I snuck into his room every few weeks and spent the night. Of course, we literally only slept. We were both clear with that, especially after the little fallout we had in the first week of our stay. The perk of the whole thing was being able to spend time with each other. Now it had been almost a month since I last snuck off and I really wouldn't mind a little 'sleepover' this weekend.  
_I'll try_, I wrote. _Hope Aimee can cover for us._  
That was what she always did. All of us understood how forbidden what we were doing actually is. We probably broke at least a dozen rules, but I knew Eddie only agreed because there was no way of endangering anyone, and I had to see him, so we kept doing it. Aimee gladly helped us by making up a story if any teacher came to check if students are in after curfew. She always made up a story about how I'm in the bathroom or at the feeder they kept in the dorm over night just in case. Then, after she went to bed, she folded the covers on my bed so that it looked like I'm in. Eddie and I then appeared next morning, somwhere in the middle of breakfast, possibly a few minutes apart and on different entrances. It was risky, but worth it, and no one was on to us yet.  
I spent the rest of the night either fantasising about the weekend, or dreaming about it when I finally fell asleep. It was no wonder I brought the topic up to Aimee the instant we were both awake.  
"Sure, no problem," she replied and smiled. Her eyes were still a bit bleary but the smile reached them. I noticed from the way she crossed her legs over and over that there was something on her mind as well.  
"What's up?" I asked kindly.  
"Uh..." she wavered. "I kind of..." She exhaled and gave a sharp nod, as if she was encouraging herself, or maybe giving a sign she's ready. I knew her hesitation wasn't a sign of distrust, she was only shy to ask something of me. That was the way she was.  
"Could you cover for me on Saturday in a similar way?" she finally uttered. "Reed said if we could..." She blushed in a way that reminded me of myself, words stuck in her throat. Their relationship had grown quite serious and extremly adorable in the past months. She had never asked me a favor like that before. I wondered if they were takimg things to a new level... But then again, I didn't want to know.  
"Sure, no problem," I said and grinned. She gave me a reassured smile. "Did you think two years ago," I added, "That we'd be talking about sneaking off to our boyfriends today?"  
She laughed aloud. "No, I did not. I was getting over Brett and you had a mad crush Adrian. I never thought either of us could be happy with her love life again."  
"Well, thank goodness things turned out the way they did," I said. "Breakfast?"  
I spent the next days in agonizing wait for Friday. Weekends were everyone's favorite part of the week, but I was even more impatient as usually. I saw Eddie every day - but we had company. He never even brought up whatever he wanted to talk about and I didn't push him, although I was becoming curious. Not only with Eddie.  
I couldn't proccess that after every overwhelming piece of information I got from Victor Dashkov's journal, there wasn't a single clue about the Dragomir ring's current information. I just refused to believe it, and I kept reading the pages I'd come to know them backwards. I didn't lose hope that maybe I skipped a paragraph, or that I didn't read something between the lines. There had to be at least a single trace, right? He wouldn't just throw something so valuable away... Of course, under the eyes of Tarasov's security, he didn't have much choice.  
My impatience was at its highest on Friday after school. I felt as though I was waiting for a delayed plane to vacation on an airport. I couldn't leave my dorm too early because it be suspicious if a teacher happened to see me at Eddie's and later noticed I'm not in bed after curfew. I wasn't worried about my punishment, I'd probably get away easily like every other student that had ever tried to sneak into a different dorm after curfew. No, my concern was Eddie. He could even get fired if anyone found me in his room. That would disable him from being my guardian permanently (or maybe anyone's guardian). It would kill both me and him. So I had to wait before seeing him for a while.  
Naturally, I spent the extra time reading the journal again. Aimee tried to engage me into a conversation a few times, but she gave up soon because I only responded with a word or two and left to find Reed. I knew she wasn't insulted. She noticed how the journal sucked me in, even though she didn't know what it really was. I never got into details. I didn't want to overwhelm her. The whole thing got me obsessed, more than I imagined I could be. I wanted to find the ring, I didn't even know why myself.  
I read the short contents of the journal once, twice, three times, whispering the words quietly as I passed them. I already had them memorized. But I was still focused while reading and I was still hoping that I'd find a lead. I reached the last page again, I'd lost count on how many times I'd done it. Blank paper was glaring at me, so white it hurt my eyes. The only thing breaking the whiteness were the bold blue lines the page was shot with. It felt as though it made the paper even more stern and judging. Like it was blaming me for not finding anything.  
I snorted at my own thoughts. Paper doesn't blame people. But I soon realized I could've done more. I'd never gone through the blank pages. I assumed they were just... Blank. But what if they weren't? I instantly began to browse again, so swiftly the harsh rims stung on the tips of my fingers, but I ignored it.  
I almost put the journal down when the page next to the last was empty. Then I noticed a faded stain on the bottom of it. I ran a finger through it and learned the spot was slightly convex, as though the paper had once gotten wet. The stain probably faded from a blue color to gray. I flipped the page over and saw the original stain on the other side. It looked like a drop of ink that accidentally dripped from a pen, but that wasn't the part that caught my attention.  
Just above the stain were a few words written in the narrow lanky writing I'd gotten so familiar with: _Robert Doru_, next to it what I assumed was his phone number, and under the name an address in Las Vegas. But that couldn't be his address... Could it?  
Another thought crept into my mind: was it possible that Robert had the ring? It was true I'd seen with my own eyes he'd gone quite crazy due to spirit, but from what I'd read, he had been one of Victor's closest comrades. There was also no doubt he wouldn't think about calling attention to the ring in any way, and that he was loyal to death - literally - to Victor without any influence of compulsion.  
Could it be that Victor kept the ring in prison, knew what was coming after he escaped and passed the ring to Robert? If he did, I had the key on my hand.  
My heart skipped a beat, then began to race. My impatience reached the point where I could no longer handle it. I grabbed my coat and put it on, slid my feet into warm brown boots, stashed the journal under my shirt and ran outside, almost forgetting to close the door.  
The chilly winter air made me shiver, but it calmed me down at least a little bit. I ran over the snow that creaked under my feet through the school grounds that felt endless. Finally the familiar outline of the guardians' building came into my sight. Just a few more steps... Warmth hit me as I crossed the doorstep. Unnoticed, I sneaked through the lobby and over two sets of stairs. I knew the way so well I didn't even think about it. Not bothering to knock, I almost broke the door of Eddie's room. He wasn't locked in, as usually. He liked to always be available to everyone.  
"Goodness, Jill, what happened?" he exclaimed as I walked in. He jumped from the bed he'd been sitting on, worry all over his face. There was no asking why I'm so early or anything alike, he knew better than that. I don't know if it was my expression that gave me up, or maybe the door that still hadn't recovered from my brutal attack. He read me, as always.  
"Look at this," I said and reached under my shirt. Eddie's eyes widened and I rolled my eyes, pulling the journal out. He gave me a knowing look - he knew how much I'd been obsessing over it in the past days. I still didn't take my coat off as I opened the notebook on the last page and showed Eddie my discovery.  
"That's Robert Doru's phone number and address," he said.  
"Is it?" I asked. "In Vegas?"  
"A bit out of it, actually," he replied. I gave him a perplexed look. Itseemed weird that he was so sure. He must've realized that, because he scowled and spoke swiftly: "So why does that matter?"  
"Well..." I said and smiled. "Since Victor was with Robert at the time of his death and a while before it too, do you think it's possible..." I trailed off and gave Eddie a hopeful look, not daring to express what I wished so wildly to be true.  
"Yes," he said promptly.  
"Could we..." I gave him a pleading look that I knew he couldn't resist.  
"No. Absolutely not," he said firmly, and just as instantly. He knew very well what I was talking about, and there wasn't a glimpse of consideration in his voice.  
"Why not?" I asked stubbornly and crossed my arms over my chest. He knew I wouldn't accept his answer. Who would? He just confirmed I could get what I along with the rest of my almkst instinct family had been stuck on for the past few months, a piece of my past, and now he wouldn't let me get it.  
"Because!" he exclaimed and threw his hands up. "You can't travel from one of the safest places on Earth to the middle of nowhere to some crazy maniac who once tried to kill you! Maybe you could if he was the only crazy maniac that ever tried to kill you, but we both know that's not the case!"  
"So that's what we're talking about again? My safety?" I asked venomly.  
He gave me a look that asked if I'm kidding. "Well, what else would you like to talk about? It's not like it's my job to keep you safe or anything!"  
"Well, then keep me safe and and come with me," I sighed.  
"Sorry, but I can't yet control the minds of crazy people, and even if I go with you, it's just too damn dangerous," he snapped. Even though these situations - me seeking danger, him forbidding - were often, it wasn't like him to get upset like this. Too bad, it only heated me up even more.  
"Why to you get so damn upset about things like this?" I hissed. "How does this, every simple attempt of mine to help someone and be useful, piss you off so badly, but whenever I say something that would drive every normal person out of their minds, you just smile like an idiot and leave lile nothing happened?"  
His eyes widened at that, but he didn't react. I just called him an idiot and unnormal, but he didn't react.  
"See? This is a perfect example!" I screamed.  
"Because as your guardian, I find your safety more important than my feelings," he said calmly and restraindly.  
"That's the lamest answer ever." I said and shifted from one foot to another in a provoking way. "Sure, that's what you are to me. Just a goddamn guardian!"  
He winced. I hurt him, I saw it. I thought he'd strike back, but he was still looking me in that calm reserved way of his that always appeared whenever we were discussing his emotions.  
"Well, how's this for an answer?" he asked. I fixed my gaze on him expectantly. "I care about your safety first because as your boyfriend, I can survive a few words, but I could never survive losing you." His eyes made the distance of few feet between us vanish. They were so warm, deep and full of love. I knew he meant the words he just said and they made my heart melt. I almost ran over the room to hug him and drown him in kisses.  
But I knew he also meant the words he 'd said before, and I didn't want to let him get away with it. I didn't want to give up and yield down. The thought of the Dragomir ring and the fact that I could get it swelled me with a weird urge that was more important than a few sweet words right now.  
"That's sweet," I said as numbly as I could. It wasn't easy. "But that doesn't help me much right now."  
"Oh, for goodness's sake!" he exclaimed in exasperation. "I'll get you your goddamn Dragomir ring if it means so much to you, just stay here and stay safe!"  
"You just don't get it," I said. His eyes widened. "No one does."  
My eyes suddenly burned with tears. I couldn't last a second in that room anymore. Eddie's words hurt me for no real reason and I didn't want to look at him. I dropped the journal onto the floor, snuck through the door and slammed it in a fit.  
"Jill-" I heard Eddie say, but the door cut him off. It probably hit him straight in the face, but I couldn't look back to see if he was alright. I didn't even know where this came from. I just ran down the stairs, back into the freezing winter afternoon.

**I know I didn't get to name chapters yet as I said I would in the last AN, but that's because of my disability to write short. Yesterday I realized the chapter I'm working on is going to be too long – again-, so I put it in half. This is the first half and the next is coming in a few days. It might be a little short, but this is the only part where I could break a chapter, I didn't think anywhere else made sense. The problem with chapter names is that I had a name for two chapters together. I'm going to use it for the part above, but the part that is yet to post is unnamed for now. As soon as I figure that out, I'm gonna change the names. So, in a few days new chapter, plus chapter names.**

***Update: I was really upset when I realized yesterday that nothing I put as italic in my phone stays italic by the time it reaches my computer. With this chapter - the journal parts and all - there was a bit more, so I decided to fix it. Now I need to remember this and take care of it before I post the chapter!**


	20. Privileges

**Hi folks! Chapter 20 is here! I was going to post this on Adrian's birthday, but here August 3rd was over two hours ago and I wasn't done yet because I began to read Harry Potter and I read too much and wrote too little. (not that you can actually read too much) Anyhow, since I had so much done already and i tried really hard, I figured I might as well finish. So what if it's 2 am! So, happy birthday to Adrian Ivashkov, even though that was yesterday, or at least that's what his Wikipedia page says. Not the most reliable of all sources, but you take what you can get. Also, chapter names! I finally made it! Let me know what you think if you happen to leave a review! Everything beongs to the magnificent Richelle Mead (thank you for crating Adrian) and I am sorry for my mistakes. Enjoy!**

How could he do that? Him of all people? How could be so ignorant about something that meant so much to me? Didn't I mean anything to him?  
"Ignorant?" I whispered to myself. He wasn't being ignorant! He even suggested to go get the ring for me! And he literally just told me how much I actually meant to him. What was the matter with me? Maybe those were delayed side effects of Adrian's recent spirit use...  
But Eddie didn't understand! He wanted to find the ring instead of me because he thought what I wanted was getting it. What I really wanted was to do something! I didn't want to be helpless and useless, with my only potential my royal title! But he'd never allow doing something dangerous, yet good, because he was too obsessed with protecting me.  
I let out a quiet sob and ran further into the dark. Months ago at this time of the day Eddie and I set on our first date. The sun had been rising, now there wasn't a sign of dawn on the horizon. I rushed towards the only thing I saw in the pitch darkness - the edge of the forest. I just wanted to dissappear. Tears, still unshed, were blocking my vision and it wasn't long until I tripped. I collapsed into the snow, finally letting out the cries and tears.  
It had been snowing nonstop ever since that disasterous morning in Ms. Malloy's class and the white blanket was over a foot high. I was freezing, kneeling in the snow, my jeans wet. The air was sharp, every breath mixed eith snowflakes felt like a thousand needles piercing my lungs. I was so cold... The only warm thing far around were the tears streaming down my cheeks. But instead of making me feel better, they were a painful burning contrast with the snow. They also reminded me of how hopeless my situation was.  
I sobbed out loud again and dug my face into my palms. I could barely feel them; it felt as though my bare fingers are about to fall off.  
A noise I barely heard over my cries echoed in the otherwise silent whiteness. It sounded like creaking of two more feet running. The noise was becoming louder, suggesting the person was nearing me. I wiped the tears off and turned around with as much dignity as I had left. The figure looked a horrible lot like Eddie. The blizzard of snowflakes raging around was veiling my view, but my suspicion was soon confirmed.  
"Jill!" the figure yelled over the distance separating us. Its voice was supressed by the wind, but it sounded a horrible lot like Eddie. I felt like my own voice was taken away from me, I didn't have a response in my throat. The figure accelerated its pace and reached me in a few seconds. Now I was sure it was indeed Eddie.  
"Jill," he repeated. He was only a little out of breath. He reached his hands towards mine to help me get up. I took them, but still said nothing.  
"Jill, what happened up there? I only wanted to help-"  
The rage from before bulked up inside me and I ripped my hands out of his. "Help, you say? Sure you do!" I screamed. "If you wanted to help me, you'd let me-" My own words were cut off by a loud sob. I covered my face and turned away from him.  
"I don't understand-" he said incredulously.  
"Gosh, just leave me alone!" I exclaimed. No matter my efforts, my voice broke. I pushed him away without doing any harm and ran off again, further between the trees. This time, though, he was right behind me. His fingers, cold as eyes, clenched around my wrists. I tried to shake him off, but his grip was too tight.  
"No!" he shouted. His eyes on mine were telling me this is about more than the ring or my breakdown. "I'll never leave you alone. I'll never leave you! You'll have to beg me to leave. I want to be in every part in your life. I want to be in every part of your life. Not because I'm your guardian or because you need me, because I want to! I want to laugh with you and cry with you. I want to be the reason you laugh and the one to dry your tears." He cupped my face in his hand and looked into my eyes that were, how ironic, filling with new tears right now. He gently wiped one of them away and continued: "I may not understand what this is about, but I'm willing to listen and do all I can. You just have to trust me."  
I nodded. "I do. I do trust you." I knew I got this touching speech because of how little time we spent together and because right now, I was pushing him away when I needed him most. He wanted to let me know he was there for me.  
"Then what's the matter?" he asked softly.  
"I don't want to be her!" I cried.  
"Who?" he asked in perplexion.  
"That... That perfect princess everyone's talking about!" Another sob came from my throat and I dug my face into his chest. His hands pulled me into a tight hug and stroked my back gently. I cried in his arms until I words came back to me, then continued.  
"You know that about me, I don't want to be helpless, sitting around and waiting for help. I was on a good way there before I found out who my father is. Now everyone's protecting me like I just got a brand new value just because of the title, but how does that help me if by doing that they're stopping me from protecting myself?"  
"I would've wanted to protect you even if you weren't a princess," he whispered into my ear.  
"That's not the point!" I cried. "And anyhow, they wouldn't let you. I don't want them to! I love having you around, but I don't want you to do all the work for me if there are things I can do myself!"  
He tried to say something, but I cut him off.  
"I know," I said, "I'll never kill Strigoi like I once dreamed, or that no one will ever actually let me into a real fight. But if danger finds me... I need a way to defend myself, don't I?"  
"Yes, you do," he admitted. "And that's why we practise fighting and magic and everything. You were perfectly capable of taking on your mad teacher. Trust me, she isn't the only person you'd take out. You're nothing like the rest of the royals. You're not defenseless when guardians are gone, you're far from it."  
"Then why won't you let me fight?"  
"Because..." He sighed. "Because I have to do something, don't I? I know you'd be alright on your own, but I still feel better if I can protect you myself. Don't think I don't trust you, but it is my job to keep you safe. And I meant what I said earlier: I couldn't possibly survive if something happened to you."  
"But do you understant that I have to do something to prove myself I can? That I'm not weak?" I asked, begged practically, and fastened my eyes on his from below. It was one of the looks he couldn't resist, and I was acting against myself; I made myself look small and defenseless to get him to let my prove myself I'm not actually defenseless.  
"I do understand," he said with a stickened voice. "But even if I'm with you, I can't let you go to Las Vegas and track Robert Doru down."  
"Fine," I said shortly. "I won't push you anymore... For now. But keep in myind that I'm not goving up on this."  
"Noted," he said and grinned. "Can we go inside now?"  
I snuck out of his arms and took a look at him. Suddenly it was clear why his arms had been so cold. He was only wearing jeans and a hoodie, the only part of his attire that let me know it was winter were his boots.  
"God, you must be freezing!" I exclaimed.  
He only stroke his hand. "Nah, I'm used to it."  
"Oh, come on, you can't be used to everything!"  
"That's what happens in years, you know. We have to be ready for anything," he said and held his chin high in faked self-satisfaction.  
"Anything, you say?" I teased. "Are you ready for this...?"  
I stepped on my fingers and kissed him. He froze for a second, then kissed me back, so fiercly I knew he'd been holding back ever since he saw me at his doorstep today. I broke the kiss a minute later and took a step back, grinning wildly.  
"You were right," he said, catching his breath. "This always catches me off guard."  
We hurried back inside, running to keep ourselves at least a bit warmer. It got undeniably warmer since the kiss, but I was still freezing, even in my coat. I didn't dare to think how Eddie must've felt.  
The first time I'd walked into Eddie's room in the guardians' building I couldn't help but gasp. It was enormous compared to my dorm room and even big next to my room at Court. There wasn't that much equipment - he was there to work after all - but it was pretty fancy. He had enough room for a small sofa, a king-sized bed that wasn't actually supposed to be double but was still very comfortable for us both, a huge TV, something Aimee and I could only dream about and a closet that was bigger than the one me and my best friend shared. It was half empty, though, and plenty of clothes in it were mine. The most dreamy of it all was his own bathroom that even had a small bathtub.  
Of course, all of that was nothing next to the glamour we'd been enjoyimg at Court, but I'd grown up in humble surroundings and I was used to my dorm room most of all places, so a place like this was astonshing to me. To Eddie too, it seemed. He couldn't even believe the respect he was treated with as a guardian when we'd arrived.  
I'd already gotten used to all that 'luxury' in the few months we were here, so I only sat on the couch when we arrived, glad we're in the warm again, and waited while he made us tea. Ironically, in the end he warmed up before I did.  
"Your jeans are wet," he noticed.  
I followed his look and learned he was right. That was probably the reason I was still cold. "That's from kneeling in the snow," I stated.  
He nodded and dug into his closet, passing me one of his sweatpants. "Warmer than jeans," he assured me. I smiled and went into the bathroom to change. I came back laughing out loud. Eddie joined me the moment he saw me.  
"You look like a rapper or something," he uttered through laughter.  
"Or a clown in surprisingly discret clothes," I added and spunn around to give him a better look. His pants were only an inch or two too long, but much too baggy. They were probably too baggy on him as well, but I could've comfortably gotten both of my legs into each pant leg.  
I placed myself comfortably into his lap on his bed. I was glad to see his hands were warm again. So were his lips.  
We kissed for a while, then we just stared into each other's eyes. I didn't think of anything, I only let myself enjoy the moment and how gorgeous he was.  
"Do you feel like everyone's taking you for a stuck-up royal because Ms. Malloy pressured you like that?" he asked out of nowhere.  
I didn't know what to say for a second. I truly had no idea where my earlier words came from, but maybe Eddie had a point. Maybe from listening how conceited and haughty I am all the time, I actually began to believe it.  
"I don't know. Possibly," I said, trying to make my voice sound as dissmissive and indifferent as I could. But even I heard I don't sound cold and Eddie's expression told me that one more time, as his words earlier said that he's worried about me.  
"You have to know," he said and gave me one of the looks that felt like his eyes are piercing my skin, "That no one really sees you like that. Because you aren't like that."  
"I sure hope so," I said so quietly I barely heard myself. But Eddie caught every word of mine and gave me another one of those looks. Brown met green, so powerfully I couldn't hold it. I looked away.  
"It is so!" he exclaimed, almost desperat to make me feel better. "You're probably the most modest princess there ever was!"  
That didn't calm me down because I knew Eddie's opinion wasn't very objective. He'd also say anything to calm me down. But I appreciated that and I hated him worrying so much about me, so I mustered a wan smile.  
"And the most kick-ass," he added mischeviously.  
"Then stop sugar-coating things for me and let me do something already!" I exclaimed, finally looking at him again. The stubborness shone clear in my eyes.  
Eddie returned the look. He said nothing and I knew he was sad and exasperated. I gave him an apologetic smile and snuggled into his shoulder. It had no use ruining the night over something he'd never agree to. I really had no right to vent at him like that when I knew he could never let me risk my life. His job was to protect me. The only way I could sneak off to Las Vegas was without him knowing.  
"I'm sorry," I said. "About earlier too, I know your job. Besides the obvious, you have to make sure I'm a good girl who stays out of trouble."  
"I wish I could say you're wrong," he said grimly. "A clash of interests. My job is to stop you from doing what you want."  
I shrugged. I had no better response, I was mostly trying to hide my thoughts were racing. A clash of interests, that was for sure. But there was nothing that could get him in trouble if he didn't know what I was up to. Did I nag him too much already? Would he guess I had no intention to let this go?  
"You know, I can still try to get the ring for you if that's what you want. Or get someone else, from the Court maybe..."  
He seemed to think my dismissive attitude was a sign of hidden dissappointment.  
"No, that's alright," I said as cheerfully as I could. "You know, Robert probably doesn't even have the ring, I just wanted to do something heroic."  
"I'm sorry about that," he said, regret clear on his face. But there was also a firmness to him, a firmness that signaled this was a closed subject for him. That was good for the plan forming inside my head.  
"Well," I said and flashed an alluring smile. "Doing something heroic isn't the only thing I want."  
I kissed him again, and again and again. In the beginning it was to hide my rushing thoughts, but with him making me feel as he always did, I soon forgot about them myself.  
A sound of a phone ringing interrupted us. Obviously, Eddie had his priorities sorted out better than me. I'd keep on kissing him if I could, but he pulled back gently, stood up and picked up his phone.  
"It's Aimee," he said. He didn't look nearly as surprised as me, but it was true that barely anything ever surprised him.  
"Hello?" he answered. "... Yeah, she's here. ... Sure." He turned towards me and passed me the phone. "It's for you."  
I nodded, got on my feet and put the phone to my ear. It was unpleasantly cold.  
"Hi," I said, unsure what to expect. I didn't even know Aimee had Eddie's number.  
"Hey! Where are you? I just got home and it's half an hour to curfew and you're gone with all your stuff here!" she exclaimed. Her tone was slightly accusive, and I understood why. I kind of ditched the plan.  
"I know, I'm sorry! I went to Eddie's a while ago, it was an emergency," I said.  
"Oh." Aimee paused, unsure what to say. Then she spoke again, her annoyace replaced by worry. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, sure, it all worked out," I said promptly. I made everyone worry these days.  
"Well, what about your stuff? What are you going to sleep in? What are you going to wear tomorrow?"  
"I could still come pick it up right now," I said slowly, in a way that sounded like a question.  
"You can't," my roommate assured. "Maybe, maybe you would've made it here in time, but you couldn't possibly go back without getting caught. There absolutely isn't enough time and we're already-"  
"I get it," I interrupted and stiffled a laugh. "Don't worry, I'll think of something."  
"I'm sure of that," Aimee teased. Even though I couldn't see her, I could imagine her smirk clearly.  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.  
"Bye," she chirped and cancled the line. I knew she was laughing in our room and I chuckled as well.  
"What is it?" Eddie asked curiously.  
"She was a bit surprised because I left earlier than planned. It's no big deal but I don't have my stuff," I explained.  
He sat back on the bed and gave me one of the rare careless smiles I adored. "Oh, we'll take care of that," he said. "You have plenty of clothes here to wear tomorrow, you can use my soap and other bathroom stuff, and I'll find you something to wear at night."  
"Thanks," I said and put on an idiotically wide grin. I sat on the bed next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and pressed me closer onto him.  
"Now, where were we?" he asked and leaned in to kiss me. I even surprised myself by pushing him away, but our earlier position - him sitting on the bed and me standing in front of him - reminded me of something else we began and never finished.  
"What's wrong?" Eddie asked, his face a picture of confusion.  
"Nothing," I said quickly. I didn't want him thinking he'd gone too far again. "But I originally came because you said something to talk to me about?"  
"Yeah... That..." he said evasivly. "We don't have to..."  
"We do," I said sternly. "You asked me to trust you, what, an hour ago? Can you do the same?"  
He smiled shyly. "Of course."  
I gave him an encouraging nod and, feeling that I'd been forcing him enough already, said nothing else, waiting for him to speak.  
"Remember how distanced I was with my mom?" he began. "Well, in that phase in the summer when you and I weren't really speaking, I, uh... I found a congratulations card she'd sent me for graduation. It was more or less the last contact we had. I decided to call her, and..."  
He smiled, staring distantly into the wall on the other side of the room.  
"She was really glad to hear from me. We talked for a few hours even, and we've been in contact ever since. I said I'd visit whenever I have the time. Back then I was free, but things were kind of tensed and I didn't even know where I'd be the next day... Now I'm with you, which I love... But..."  
He had trouble forming his thoughts into a sentance. I already had a clue of what he was going to say.  
"You're going to Detroit for the Christmas holidays, right?" he asked.  
I nodded. "Along with Trey and Angeline." I hoped that would encourage him to say what was on his mind. I was right.  
"So... Since you'll have them there... And since... Well..." He scowled as if he was in horrible pain. "I figured I'd - if you don't mind, of course - take a holiday and go home. For a few days, you know. If you're okay with it." He glanced at me almost with fear, as if he was half-excpecting me to jump at him, yelling how dares he betray me like that.  
"Of course!" I said immediately and gave him a warm smile. I certinatrely hadn't expected what he told me. The last time we talked about his family, he told me he hadn't seen his mom in ten years. I was actually quite excited to hear he got back in contact. I believed no one should go that long without a mother, guardian or not. It stung me a little that I didn't find out until now - but of course I had no right for that, especially considering how hard it was for him to say this.  
He really was funny like that. He was never in doubt in his life, except when asking for a favor, when doing something that was only useful for him He considered it a great mercy, I considered it a basic right. He thought he was abandoning me, I thought he was finally doing something for himself. In order to let him know that's okay, I had to be quick to support his idea.  
"I really think you should go," I continued. "And not just for a few days, for the whole holidays. Or at least a week. I mean, not that I wouldn't miss you, but in front of my mom..."  
He grinned wryly.  
"And you haven't seen your mom in, what, ten years?"  
"Eleven."  
"Eleven! See, you should really go visit."  
He sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder. I knew he was torn. But I'd been his first choice for so long it would be unfair to keep clamping him to myself. It was only two weeks anyway.  
"Are you sure?" he asked. "I really don't want to leave you alone. I mean, of course you won't be alone, but... I feel better when I can keep you safe."  
"Yes!" I assured him. "Every guardian takes a holiday every once in a while. And besides, I'm gonna be on holidays too! No danger of mad teachers like in school. What could possibly happen in Detroit?"  
He opened his mouth to argue, but I stopped him instantly.  
"I've been there with only Angeline before and nothing bad happened. There, you see? Angeline's almost a guardian. And Trey's gonna be there too. I'll be perfectly safe."  
He still looked skeptical.  
"Look, if it worries you that much, I'll ask another guardian to go with me. I'll get Neil. Okay?"  
"Okay," he said insecurely. Then a smirk crossed his face. "How come are you so eager on me going somewhere else? Do you want to get rid of me that badly?"  
It sounded like a joke, but I sensed a glimpse of curiousity under the careless act. And it was understandable; I began to rable again. I had to be careful with my answer, it could change his mind in a blink of an eye. "Because... I'm glad you're finally doing something you want. Not something they're making you do."  
"You know I really don't mind that-" he began.  
"Yes, I know!" I interrupted. "But sometimes you just have to do something you decided to do on your own. It's good for you."  
"I guess you're right," he said and sighed.  
"So you'll go?" I asked, in a way that sounded more like a statement than a question.  
"Yep." Finally, he smiled.  
"Yay!" I squealed and hugged him. He pressed me close and kissed me eagerly. I could feel and taste his happiness; he was glad I convinced him.  
"Is that what you were so tensed and worried about the whole week?" I asked later on.  
"I was tensed and worried?" he chuckled.  
"I was starting to fear there was a Strigoi attack no one bothered to tell me about," I said provokingly.  
"Really? I was that bad?" he asked with fake horror on his face. His expression soon turned serious again. "But yeah, I was kind of worried about what you'd say. Actually, I think I was more afraid of leaving you than your reaction to it. I kind of knew you'd support me, but I didn't think you could make me okay with it."  
"So now you're not feeling guilty about it anymore?" I asked, just in case. His words made the answer quite clear.  
"No, I don't," he replied. I pressed closer to him in delight.  
Somehow we got involved into a conversation about the cafeteria food. That was probably the consequence of the fact that we'd missed dinner. Then he noticed me yawning and checked the clock.  
"It's late," he stated.  
"We should go to bed," I suggested.  
He nodded, then said: "First we should shower together."  
We stared at each other for a second, both confused, then we bursted out laughing.  
"I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep things like that to myself," he uttered, still laughing. He dissappeared into the bathroom. Which was for the best, because I was starting to like the idea.  
I spent the time Eddie was in the shower lost in thoughts, mostly about getting to the ring. I hoped I could get a few 'followers' at the Court. But first of all, I decided, I had to make sure it even made sense. I had to call Robert.  
That conclusion announced the end of my planning, because in that moment Eddie walked in shirtless. He was only wearing his pyjama bottom and something told me it was going to stay that way. I certinately didn't mind, it looked astonishing. All the training he did was now visible on his arms and chest. It was a picture that gave me goose bumps. Other than that, his hair was damp from the shower, drops trailing down his forehead. He brought an enticing scent of shampoo into the room when he opened the door. The flawless smile on his face completed the image. He was so stunning I forgot to breathe for a second. It gave me a feeling there's an angel standing in front of me.  
"You don't have anything to wear at night, do you?" he asked.  
Angels don't speak, do they? I quickly got myself together. "That's right," I said.  
He opened the closet and leaned down to find something for me. "Hoodie or T-shit?" he asked.  
"T-shirt," I said after a short moment of hesitation. I knew I wouldn't be cold next to him.  
I hurried to shower as quickly as I could. As I reached for Eddie's soap, the scent brought back the vivid picture of him standing shirtless in front of the door. It made me rush even more, I wanted to see him again. I pulled his old gray T-shirt on when I was done, and my underwear under it. The shirt reached almost my mid thigs. I was sure it was a too big on Eddie too, but it still smelled wonderfully of him.  
Eddie was already laying on the bed when I entered the room, uncovered. He smiled when he saw me.  
"Not fair, you look better in that shit than I do," he said and faked a pout.  
"Oh, too bad," I laughed. "What are you gonna do about it?"  
He stood up and put his arms loosely around my waist, so that we could see each other's eyes. "I'm gonna hold you tight all night long, because I love you so much and I can't believe a girl this beautiful is mine."  
"A girl so beautiful she looks better than you do?" I teased.  
"Yes, and that's in my best T-shirt! I won it in a play contest, and you dare to look better than me in it!" he chastised me jokingly.  
"Well," I said. "I personally disagree, but I won't turn a compliment down."  
He smiled and kissed me again. Then we finally climbed into bed, over an hour after we announced we're going to sleep. I lay with my head on his chest, with his arm around me, with my hand tangled into his hair. I tried to stay awake for a little more to enjoy the sight and feel of him next to me, but sleep won me over after a few minutes.  
Surprisingly, I woke up to find him still asleep next to me. He was normally awake far before me. I didn't wake him up now. He looked so peaceful and perfect I just couldn't. I sighed happily, calm as I hadn't been in a long time.  
I had a feeling I woke up very early, but apparently I was wrong. The room around me was dark again, which meant it was morning, definetly after six. In the winter there almost wasn't an option to see the sun on vampiric schedule. It rose after we fell asleep and set before we woke up. One more thing preventing it were the thick white clouds that refused to dissappear. It seemed to be still snowing, although I couldn't see much through the frozen window.  
Eddie stirred next to me. I turned my head towards him, careful not to make the cover rustle. My effort had no use. He was already awake.  
"Morning," I said quietly.  
"Morning," he replied. His voice was sleepy, his eyes bleary and his hair tousled, but it looked amazing on him.  
We didn't cuddle for long, although I could've stayed like that forever. We both got dressed quickly and and set to breakfast. I'd woken up much later than I initially thought, it was 10 am. The cafeteria served breakfast longer on weekend mornings, but still not forever.  
"Good, you've got your coat this time," I told Eddie.  
We made a plan to wash us of every suspicion we'd spent the night together. He went straight to breakfast, while I went to my room before to take Victor's journal back and to change. The clothes I was wearing and had left at his place on some point were just an emergency exit.  
"Everything went alright yesterday. No suspicion," Aimee 'greeted' me when I walked in. She didn't even look at me. Her eyes were on her phone, where she was apparently texting someone. Probably Reed.  
"How did you know it was me? It could've been a teacher!" I teased.  
She finally shot me a glance and smiled mischeviously. "I can smell the lovestruck from afar," she said misteriously. I laughed.  
"I'm going to breakfast now," I said.  
"I've already been," she said, her eyes back on the phone.  
"Walk me?" I asked pleadingly.  
"Sure."  
The rest of the day passed with nothing worth a mention. Aimee left to the date she asked me to cover for at seven. It was so surprisingly early I got the idea maybe her and Reed were sneaking off from the school grounds. I said nothing. Reed picked her up and thanked me for helping them, then they dissappeared almost before I could wish them a pleasant night.  
I sighed and set to the what I decided to do the night before. I picked the journal up, opened it on the last page and typed the written number into my phone with shaking fingers. I decided to call from a hidden number, just so that Robert couldn't track me down in any way. Not that I assumed he'd even recognise the number was hidden. Eddie gave me too much of his paranoia yesterday.  
With great hesitation, I dialed the number. The longer it rung, the bigger war was rushing inside me. At the same time I silently begged Robert to answer and to ignore the call. After a few ten seconds passed, I began to think maybe the number was no longer valid or that it was fake in the first place. Just as I was about to cancel, a hoarse voice answered: "Hello?"  
"Hello, is this Mr. Doru?" I asked carefully. My stomach was doing somersaults.  
"Hello? This is Robert Doru," said the voice. I didn't know if Robert felt the need to repeat his name or if he was too confused to recognise what I'd said.  
"Hi, Mr. Doru, I-"  
"Who's there? Why are you calling me?" he asked. There was a dreamy taste to his voice.  
"I'm calling to ask..." I realized I'd get nowhere with normality and an attempt of a normal conversation. "You had a brother Victor, right?"  
"Yes, Victor... Victor was my brother... Then she killed him!"  
I assumed by she he meant Rose and tried to ignore the dreamy tone of his voice turned into an agressive one.  
"You spent some time with Victor before he died, didn't you?" I kept on asking.  
"Yes, yes, I did... Before she killed him..."  
I no longer understood why I had been so afraid of a crazy old man.  
"Did Victor happen to give you a ring before he died?" I tried while Robert was muttering something about the 'murderer' and the 'payback'.  
"Yes!" he suddenly came to life. "Yes, he gave me a ring... Two rings even!" He quieted his voice down to a whisper, as if he was telling me a secret. "He said I can't let them get into the wrong hands."  
"Do you know why he said that?" I asked carefully.  
"No... No, I do not... I never quite understood that..."  
"He said that because one of the rings - the green one - belongs to the Dragomir family."  
"The Dragomir family?" Robert said in surprise. "I thought the Dragomir family was extinct."  
"No, there are two more of us, me and my sister," I said pationatelly. "And the ring belongs to us."  
"Oh," he said.  
"Could I come pick up the ring to your house?" I tried sweetly.  
"Yes, yes, of course... If the ring is yours, I don't see why not..."  
I almost let out a sigh of relief, but before I could do that, Robert became agressive again: "Why won't your sister come pick the ring up?"  
"My sister is... Busy," I blurted.  
"Busy with what?" he asked suspiciously. He suddenly sounded surprisingly floored.  
"She's..." Couldn't I just say my sister is five or something? "It doesn't really matter, does it? The ring belongs to me just as much as to my sister, it doesn't matter which one of us comes to get it."  
"Oh... I... I guess it doesn't..."  
"So we're on?" I asked. "Can I come pick up the ring to this address..." I read the address drom the last page in the journal.  
"Yes, you may... Wait." Oh, no, I thought. "How do you know my address?"  
"Uh... Victor gave it to me," I said quickly.  
"Before he died," Robert stated. "Before she-"  
"Yeah, yeah, before she killed him. Can I come pick the ring up?"  
"Yes."  
I cancled the call immediately as I heard that and broke the weirdest conversation in my life. Now I had to get a few allies from the Court. I sent a text to Adrian to set a group video chat. I sat in front of my laptop half an hour later, looking into the familiar eyes of Rose, Lissa and Adrian himself, all three crowded on the couch in Lissa's living room.  
"Sorry about the shrinked crew, everyone's somehow busy," said Adrian apologetically and widended his arms to demonstrate how helpless he is. "But hey, you got the Queen and her first asistant!"  
Those words earned him a poke on the head by Rose. "I'm a guardian, not an assistant, you egghead."  
"Did you poke my beautiful head so strongly you misshaped it into an egg?" he asked in fake horror. Rose only glared at him.  
"The shrinked crew will do, thanks," I said with a lame attempt not to laugh.  
"So, what is it?" Lissa asked curiously. Or maybe she had a meeting to attend ten minutes later, I couldn't really tell anymore.  
"This," I said and held up the journal. Then I explained the contents of the journal in the shortest way possible, leaving out the part about how much of an accident that car accident actually had been. I also described my conversation with Robert, leaving out his murderous tendency towards Rose.  
"I suppose you're saying you want to go to Vegas and get that ring from Robert," said Adrian. His voice was completely casual and innocent, but his expression and his uneasiness leaking into me told me he didn't think this wasn't a good idea. Not even Adrian was going to let me do this!  
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," I said stubbornly. After all, this wasn't his decision to make. I ignored the fact that if even Adrian thought an idea was too crazy, everyone else would too.  
"Jill..." Lissa said softly. "As much as I want the ring... I don't know. This just seems too dangerous. I don't want you or anyone risking their lives for it. I mean, from what you told me, its only purpuse is to control people."  
"Yes, but..." I had no argument. And even if I did, Lissa was obviously decided. I knew she really did want the ring and that she didn't really care what its purpuse was. It was a piece of our family. But okay, if she was so against it as she claimed... I was too tired to fight her.  
"Fine," I said exasperated. "I give up."  
"That's it?" Rose asked. "That's the only reason you called us over?"  
I nodded. She groaned in reply.  
"Come on, I'm hungry," she said and stood up, so that the only thing in her camera were her legs in ripped black jeans. Lissa followed her. Adrian glanced behing them, then shifted on the couch and leaned closer, so that I saw his face better.  
"Is that a dhampir thing?" I asked, thinking of Eddie. "Constant hunger?"  
Adrian broke into a smile, although I saw he was trying to stay serious. "Well, at least they work for it. Who's gonna miss a little food?"  
"I don't even want to know what you mean by 'work'," I said, pretending to be disgusted. He chuckled, then put the firm face I was more used in Eddie than him back on.  
"Listen, Jill, I know you're up to something," he said. His worry leaking into me through our bond was touching. I shut myself down from it.  
"Since when do you see auras through a computer?" I asked and pouted stubbornly.  
"Please. I just want to make sure nothing happens to you." He was no longer firm, just sad. He noticed with no doubt I shut the bond down. I had no idea how he did that. If he noticed something as small as that, how wouldn't he read through a lie?  
I put on the most honest smile I had and said: "I won't try anything, I promise."  
Adrian sighed and disconnected.

**That would be it. I'd give Adrian more appearances in his birthday chapte, but I've got the story planned now and i just could't do that. At least there's more Eddie! This is one of the shorter chapters, I know. But it would be **_**just too long**_** if it was the same chapter with the last one, as I initially planned. Also, I'm sorry if the quality is know, 2 am. So… I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible, happy August everyone!**


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